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Wed Nov 6, 2019, 05:00 PM

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #7-18: Do The Soviet Style Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #7-18: Do The Soviet Style Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! What’s up Gonzaga University? How you guys doing? You doing fucking good? Great! We are in the home stretch people. Just six more Top 10s before we sign off for this insane year that was 2019. And our college tour has been a great success so far! I know we keep meaning to do a best of – which we will for Thanksgiving, we will announce all the details for season 8! Plus we’re going international! Yes, we did that World Tour back in season 3, but we did it at the confines from our home theater at the UCB Theater Franklin St. But we are actually going to England and Canada later next year. We also have the 4th iteration of our Stupidest State contest to look forward to! OK do we have time for the thing? OK boomer. So we have to talk about Bill Murray. We were originally going to do a whole I Need A Drink on this but we couldn’t find enough articles. But anyway I love when people who play versions of themselves do exactly what you’d expect them to do. So Bill Murray, you know him as the legendary star of Ghostbusters, was at the Atlanta Airport and eating at the PF Changs in Terminal A. And then on his way out he grabbed an application and applied for a job. Oh could you imagine Bill Murray waiting on your table? Just be like “Yeah I’ll have the Kung Pow Chicken and could you also throw in a batch of green slime?”. And my favorite part of this story is that the corporate office of P.F. Chang’s was like “OK Bill Murray, when do you start”? I so badly want to fly out of Atlanta if that happens. OK boomer. OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. First though, John Oliver is back and he delves into why our voting system is the current nightmare that it is:

Well the impeachment trial is coming full swing everybody so strap in because it’s going to get really ugly. In the top spot this week is Steve Scalise (1). Because he, like many members of the Trump GOP cult, apparently has absolutely no understanding or comprehension of how the United States Constitution works and actually said the impeachment proceedings were “Soviet Style”. Nyet! In the second slot this week is “We’re All Gonna Die”. Keep denying climate change, assholes, because California is going up in flames while the Gulf Coast is drowning. No, we don’t want to die because of this shit. In the third slot this week is the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump (3). And Stupid Watergate II is in full effect as Giuliani creates a huge cybersecurity fail, while Trump is crying afoul at a “witch hunt”. In the number 4 slot this week is also Donald J. Trump (4). We have to talk about two Trump related items – the Nationals visiting the White House, and his epic Halloween border wall fail. In the fifth slot this week is our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates (5) and one of the most popular menu items at Costco is their $4.99 rotisserie chicken. But to keep their costs low, Costco is resorting to some ridiculous and extremely frightening extremes. You might want to think twice before consuming that bird. Taking the sixth slot this week, is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit”, and Halloween has come and gone, but is it a holiday to practice some witchcraft? Our resident pastor is going to detail the battle for your soul, courtesy of your local ultra far right church. Speaking of Halloween, in the 7th slot is “Beating A Dead Horse” (7) – airlines are censoring the content on their in flight entertainment screens, but it is driving the producers of that content absolutely crazy. At number 8, representative Katie Hill was a victim of a conservative hit job, and as such we’re going to ask “Revenge Porn – How Is This Still A Thing?”. In the number 9 (NEIN!!) slot this week we have yet another installment of People Are Dumb (9) because of course they are! Finally this week it’s a special “Keeping Up With The Candidates” (10) – Georgia is reportedly stated to purge some 300,000 voters from participating in the 2020 election. If you’re not frightened by this, we will tell you why you should be! And the palate cleanser after all this, we have some fresh new music from the man, the myth, the legend that is Beck! Pre-order his new album “Hyperspace” or you are no friend of this program! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Steve Scalise
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Steve Scalise. You might remember him from that incident where he got shot by a crazy person while he was at batting practice for a Congressional softball game (see: Idiots #3-3 ). Since the shooting, Steve Scalise has made absolutely no question about where he stands politically. And that is, he’s a hardcore member of the Trump Cult. Which is not a good gamble these days. Trump’s popularity is slipping very handily. But that hasn’t stopped Scalise from showing people where he stands. And since the Trump Cult has been known to systematically rot many a brain, you tend to say batshit crazy stuff like this.

What do you expect from a guy who's currently suing a Twitter Cow?

But the real piece de resistance came courtesy of Steve Scalise, who brought along a poster to show just how unhappy he is with proceedings.

Exactly how does Steve Scalise think leadership changes occurred in the Soviet Union? Leon Trotsky did not get impeached, though it wouldn't have been the worst thing to get a guy like Stalin out of the driver's seat.

Based on the cutout, it would seem the "Soviet-style" proceedings occurred in the "37 days" that Democrats have been interviewing witnesses behind closed doors. This is nonsense: we are still at the investigation stage. The accused does not get to send his lawyer along with the cops when they interview a witness. (That's not to mention that some of what's under discussion may be classified. People testify behind closed doors at the Capitol all the time.) When hearings begin in the House, it will be more like a grand-jury equivalent—meaning the defense still does not get to send a lawyer or question witnesses. The president will get his due process when the trial is held in the Senate, assuming the House votes to send it there. In the meantime, House Republicans are present for all of this and are undoubtedly running defense for him throughout.

But Scalise made clear his "Soviet-style" label also applies to the rules the Democrats put up for a vote, which allow committee chairs like Adam Schiff to veto the Republicans' inevitably batshit witnesses. Republicans have long sought to disrupt public hearings with made-for-TV crapola. It's not hard to imagine Republicans calling for Strzok and Page, or Bruce and Nellie Ohr, or any of the other characters from the Trump Conspiracy Cinematic Universe. Ideally, the Republicans would call witnesses relevant to the inquiry in a good-faith effort to get to the bottom of whether the president committed gross misconduct, but Nancy Pelosi was not born yesterday. She knows they might just as easily call Cap'n Crunch.

Uh… Mr. Scalise, you are aware that we have this thing called the Constitution of the United States and that the Democrats are following the impeachment guidelines as outlined in the Constitution exactly according to procedure? Oh but let’s not let your overdose of Covfefe cloud your judgement or anything. That is a hell of a drug and it tends to rot many a mind. But he’s not the only one overdosing on the Trump train lately.

Colorado’s House delegation split along partisan lines, as the state’s four Democrats voted to authorize the next stage of an impeachment inquiry over objections by the three Republicans.

“The House’s impeachment inquiry has exposed the truth and uncovered significant evidence that the president abused his power,” said Rep. Joe Neguse, D-Lafayette, in remarks on the House floor minutes before the vote.

Added Neguse: “To honor the oath to defend the Constitution that each of us took, we must move forward with this impeachment inquiry; for, as Thomas Jefferson once said hundreds of years ago, a sacred respect for the constitutional law is the vital principal, the sustaining energy of a free government.”

Before casting his “no” vote, U.S. Rep. Doug Lamborn, R-Colorado Springs, railed against what he called “a Soviet-style kangaroo court, a star chamber,” in an appearance on KVOR AM 740.

“They just hate Donald Trump. They want to undo the election,” Lamborn said, referring to his Democratic colleagues.

Nyet!! We do hate Donald Trump, but the election was 3 fucking years ago! We’re not trying to undo anything, we’re trying to prevent further abuses of power, which is what Trump has been doing since the election. The Republicans want to hand him a blank check to do whatever the hell he wants, but it doesn’t work that way. The GOP derangement for democrats is getting completely out of control, and expect the violent rhetoric to increase before the election. But then we’ll still have to put up with bullshit like this:

America will read exactly what two of the “three amigos” overseeing President Trump’s Ukraine policy told Congressional impeachment investigators.

The explosive testimony of Kurt Volker, Trump’s former special representative for Ukraine negotiations, and Gordon Sondland, the U.S. ambassador to the European Union, will likely inflict new damage on Trump’s ever-shifting impeachment defense as the full transcripts confirm details revealed after they testified last month.

Sondland’s testimony is likely to be particularly closely scrutinized because he made the dubious claim that he knew little or nothing about presidential lawyer Rudy Giuliani ran a parallel campaign to bully Ukraine into opening bogus Trump-friendly investigations into Democrats.

Rep. Adam Schiff (D-Cal.), chairman of the House of Representatives Intelligence Committee, told reporters on Monday to expect the transcripts to be made public the following day.

Impeachment witnesses have described Volker and Sondland, along with Energy Secretary Rick Perry, as the main officials implementing Trump’s Ukraine policy.

Hey everyone! If this impeachment proceedings seem like they’re “Soviet Style” could it be because Russia is involved? Let’s do the Soviet style!! Is that a dance or a punk rock song? Who knows! The thing is, once a talking point gets introduced into the conservative echo chamber, it’s like an ants’ nest – no matter how much bug spray you use to get rid of it, you’ll still find ants several weeks later! But they are at least running out of defenses for this mad man, and it’s starting to show:

It is a quirk of our current highly polarized political environment that a party can plausibly claim its opponents are acting in a partisan fashion by insisting upon doing so itself. It takes two to tango, but refusing to tango takes only one. And if Democrats and Republicans aren’t dancing together, then any action becomes a partisan action—and can be denounced as such.

And so it was last week that, confronted with a decision by the Democratic leadership of the House of Representatives to authorize procedures for the public phase of consideration of the president’s impeachment, House Republicans voted as a bloc against the measure and thereby enabled themselves to decry the vote as partisan. The criticism was, of course, accurate. Unlike the House votes to authorize the impeachment inquiries of Presidents Richard Nixon or Bill Clinton, this vote came very nearly along perfect party lines—with two Democratic House members joining the Republicans and only a single former Republican, the now party-less Justin Amash, voting with the Democrats.

But the argument also elides the source of the partisanship. What is notable about the vote is not that Democrats, looking at the information available to the House, want to consider impeaching President Donald Trump. It is rather that Republicans, looking at the very same information, uniformly do not want even to consider it—that they purport to be outraged not by the president’s behavior but by the processes through which whistle-blowers complain about that behavior, by the means Democrats employ to consider such complaints, and by the expectation that a president will act on behalf of some vision of the public interest rather than putting national-policy tools at the service of his own personal and political interests.

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[font size="8"]We’re All Gonna Die
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Hey everyone guess what? We’re all gonna die!! Woooooooooooooo!!! Wooooooooooooooooo!!! Wooooo. Woo. Yeah I know I say it every time that we do this segment, but this time we really might, especially that my home state of California is on fire. And we have a maniacal man bay who hates my state in charge of the White House. And boy does Trump hate us. If you’re following the news, the fire departments run by the federal government have been doing a bang up job of being super fast to respond to the fires this year and Gov. Newsome has been praising them big time. But we have a man child who has been convinced that it’s poor forest management that was to blame for the fires. But can we tell him that’s not a thing?

Just days after Gov. Gavin Newsom praised the federal government for its response to catastrophic wildfires and power outages affecting millions, President Donald Trump on Sunday slammed the California Democrat — and threatened to cut off future federal funding to the fire-battered state.

Trump, in a spate of postings on Twitter, lambasted what he called Newsom’s “terrible job” regarding the state’s forest management practices, saying the governor should stop listening to environmentalist “bosses” and “clean” the forest floors. He also slammed Newsom for state water-management practices, suggesting that California must open up what he called “ridiculously closed water lanes.”

Saying Newsom had repeatedly requested federal funds, Trump threatened to cut him off.

“Every year, as the fire’s rage & California burns, it is the same thing—and then he comes to the Federal Government for $$$ help. No more,” the president tweeted.

He then tweaked Newsom’s leadership: “Get your act together Governor.”

The governor responded a short time later.

“We’re successfully waging war against thousands of fires started across the state in the last few weeks due to extreme weather created by climate change while Trump is conducting a full on assault against the antidotes,” he told POLITICO in a statement.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Let’s point out the irony here – the guy who does not have his act together at all and fires people like it’s a bodily function is telling someone else to get their act together on something he knows nothing about? What an asshole. But are we all gonna die from this? Well just wait until next year’s Santa Ana winds hit, they will get even nastier!

Just last week California Gov. Gavin Newsom lauded President Donald Trump as a "partner" in California's efforts to fight wildfires.

“Every request we made of the Trump administration has been granted, and I just want to thank them again for moving expeditiously as they have to support our efforts here," Newsom said Wednesday.

That was then, this is now.

“We’re successfully waging war against thousands of fires started across the state in the last few weeks due to extreme weather created by climate change while Trump is conducting a full on assault against the antidotes," Newsom said Sunday.

What changed appears to be a series of tweets earlier Sunday by the president, kicked off with this: "The Governor of California, @GavinNewsom, has done a terrible job of forest management. I told him from the first day we met that he must 'clean' his forest floors regardless of what his bosses, the environmentalists, DEMAND of him."

Oh calm down man, we’re not gonna die just yet! But let’s not let facts get in the way of our outrage because that’s how the news in 2019 works, damn it! Because if Trump had bothered to Google it, he would have stumbled upon this report from the San Francisco Chronicle – an actual journalist outlet, which said that poor forest management is true. But guess what? Not all of it is California’s fault!

“A century of mismanaging Sierra Nevada forests has brought an unprecedented environmental catastrophe that impacts all Californians.” That’s not a tweet from President Trump, but the opening line of a February report by California’s Little Hoover Commission investigating fire danger in the state.

“The immediate crisis is visible to anyone who has traveled recently in the Sierra Nevada, especially in its southern range where mountainsides are brown with dying and dead forests,” Commission Chairman Pedro Nava wrote in the cover letter for “Fire on the Mountain,” an 82-page report on the tinderbox nature of the state’s forests.

The report outlines factors that have led to the current forest crisis, including years of poor or nonexistent management policies, and the recent drought and a beetle infestation that killed an estimated 129 million trees across the state — trees that could go up in flames.

“The obstacles to progress are daunting and tremendously complex,” the report said.

Still, Nava was a bit taken aback by Trump’s Nov. 10 tweet blaming the state’s “gross mismanagement” for the fires.

“My first reaction is that he really needs better advisers — obviously they left a lot of things out,” Nava told us.

For example, the U.S. government owns nearly 60 percent of the forests that cover one-third of California and for the past 100 years federal policy has been to put out forest fires as quickly as possible rather than let nature take its course.

No, no nobody is dying yet. But take a look at what the guy in the article said that Trump needs better advisers. Well guess what? He is his own adviser! Well besides when he watches Fox News late at night after Sean Hannity whispers sweet nothings into his ear on the phone, we’ll let you know that rage-watching Fox News that late is not good for your mental health! I mean would you be shocked to learn that he’s wrong on the subject? I’m not!

In 2018, a fire ripped through the town of Paradise, California, killing 85 people. It was the deadliest and most destructive wildfire in the state’s history.

Liabilities from wildfires started by its powerlines bankrupted Pacific Gas & Electric, which cut off power to nearly one million homes and businesses last month to prevent wind from triggering and fanning fires.

Many blame climate change.“The reason these wildfires have worsened is because of climate change,” said Leonardo DiCaprio.“This is what climate change looks like,” said Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

On Sunday, after President Donald Trump tweeted, “The Governor of California, @GavinNewsom, has done a terrible job of forest management,” Newsom tweeted back, “You don’t believe in climate change. You are excused from this conversation.”

But can the increase in fires in California really be blamed on climate change?

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[font size="8"]Stupid Watergate II
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It’s like Watergate but we have idiots in charge. Holy crap this thing continues to get stranger and stranger and stranger. We already covered Steve Scalise’s bizarre comparison of the trial to something “Soviet Style” (whatever that is). But that said there’s three key figures who are really needed further explanation with their involvement in Stupid Watergate. And that is Jim Jordan – who remember in the Ohio State scandal, Roger Stone, and Rudy Giuliani. Both of these guys are people who I wouldn’t want running an Etch A Sketch. But before we get into the Jim Jordan mess, let’s take a look at what happened when Roger Stone went before a jury.

Jury selection in the trial of Roger Stone, the longtime confidant and adviser to President Donald Trump, got off to a bizarre start on Tuesday as Stone left the proceedings due to what he said was food poisoning shortly after an observer was taken out of the courtroom on a stretcher after appearing to have a seizure.

The selection of the jury continued without Stone present, but because of the earlier delay stemming from the separate medical emergency, it is unlikely jury selection will be completed Tuesday. More than 80 prospective jurors arrived at federal district court in Washington, D.C., to potentially take part in the trial.

Stone, 67, is accused of lying to Congress and pressuring another person to do the same. Stone's case stems from former special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation of Russian interference in the 2016 election.

Stone, a close friend of Trump's for more than three decades who briefly served as an adviser to his 2016 presidential campaign, has claimed innocence. He was repeatedly admonished by Judge Amy Berman Jackson this year to stop making public comments about his case that could influence a prospective jury, and was barred from using social media platforms like Instagram and Twitter.

Maybe that was a little too graphic but I can assure you that his food poisoning probably went down something like that. But what a bunch of crybabies. Now for those of you playing at home, we have to talk about Rudy Giuliani’s involvement in this clusterfuck. Of course we’ve talked about Giuliani and his goons many times in the last few weeks but now the pieces of the puzzle are starting to fall into place, and it’s quite the tangled web they weave.

Lev Parnas, the indicted Rudy Giuliani associate who helped the Trump team search for dirt on Joe Biden in Ukraine, is now willing to comply with the House impeachment inquiry, his lawyer told Reuters.

Parnas helped Giuliani find dirt on Biden in Ukraine and lobbied a former Republican congressman to press President Donald Trump to oust an ambassador whom Giuliani believed was interfering with their efforts. He was later indicted along with fellow Giuliani pal Igor Fruman on campaign finance charges after prosecutors alleged that illegally funneled foreign donations into U.S. elections to gain influence, including a $325,000 contribution to a pro-Trump super PAC. Both men have pleaded not guilty.

After the indictment, the pair hired attorney John Dowd, who previously worked on Trump’s defense team in the Mueller probe. Claiming that the intention of Democrats was "to harass, intimidate and embarrass my clients," Dowd sent a letter to lawmakers saying that the two would not cooperate with their “overly broad and unduly burdensome” requests for information in the impeachment inquiry.

While Fruman will reportedly retain Dowd amid plans to keep stonewalling the investigation, Parnas apparently had a change of heart. He has fired Dowd, and his new attorney, Joseph Bondy, told Reuters that he was willing to comply with the investigation.

This whole thing is certifiably insane. Now we got to talk about Jim Jordan’s involvement. See, the events of this whole thing – let’s compare it to a nice, hearty plate of spaghetti and meatballs. You’re not going to serve it without simmering the meatballs in the sauce for several hours. Because if you serve the meat before it’s cooked you’re gonna have a bad time. Even worse if you switch chefs in the middle of cooking it.

House Republican leadership is looking to load up the House Intelligence Committee with some of President Donald Trump’s top defenders, including Rep. Jim Jordan, as the panel has become ground zero for impeachment.

“If Democrats are going to turn Intel into the impeachment committee, I am going to make adjustments to that committee accordingly, for a short period of time,” House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) told POLITICO.

Democrats have put the House Intelligence Committee solely in charge of the open hearings that could start as soon as next week even though a trio of committees have been conducting closed-door interviews with impeachment witnesses. That means some of Trump’s best attack dogs, like Jordan of Ohio, will be effectively sidelined when Democrats take their impeachment probe public.

But House Republicans want to temporarily add some of the president’s allies to the Intel panel, arguing that those members have been sitting in on all the depositions and could be well equipped to cross examine witnesses and defend Trump.

Yeah so they could switch Devin Nunes with Jim Jordan to carry out the rest of the conservatives’ side of the investigation. Now going back to our spaghetti and meatballs analogy – the meatballs (inquiries) are being warmed in the oven (Congress) as we speak. You don’t want to serve them prematurely. You want them to take the time to simmer. And pair with a fine wine which has taken time to ferment. But do you really want this guy serving your finely prepared dish? I know I don’t!

Ohio Republican Congressman Jim Jordan tried to attack House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff (D-CA) for preventing certain questions from being asked during the current impeachment inquiry into President Donald Trump but managed to admit — out loud — that he was trying to out the whistleblower, among others.

On Tuesday, Jordan spoke to reporters as Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman was giving closed-door testimony in the impeachment inquiry, and said that Schiff of “has prevented the witness from answering certain questions we have during the deposition.”

He added that “Their witness has their counsel there, their lawyer there, they don’t need Adam Schiff being chairman and lawyer. But that’s an effect what happens today.”

Jordan then addressed the reason for Schiff’s objections, saying “The Democrats run out here and say ‘Oh, the Republicans are trying to figure out who the whistleblower is. We’re trying to figure out who a witness list is.”

But then seconds later, while deriding Schiff for his “sensitivity” to protecting the identity of the whistleblower, Jordan explicitly named the whistleblower among the names he would like to obtain.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Is there anything that @realDonaldTrump doesn’t make weird or creepy? Let’s show what happened when kids trick-or-treating stopped by Trump and Melania for a visit:

They can’t even hand out Halloween candy right! And if this whole thing can’t get any worse, take a look at how Trump celebrated Halloween. It seems like he literally turns everything he touches to shit, and makes it about himself. Because he can’t stop placating his ego, he’s resorting to having children do his work for him. Maybe that’s why we haven’t seen Barron lately? Oh I’m kidding. Really, sir, that’s the joke you choose to walk out on? OK fine. But really we shouldn’t be subjecting our children to this monster, if anything he should be kept very far away from kids after this stunt:

A Halloween party on Oct. 25 at the Eisenhower Executive Office Building featured candy, paper airplanes and — concerning for some attendees — a station where children were encouraged to help “Build the Wall” with their own personalized bricks.

Photos of the children’s mural with the paper wall were provided to Yahoo News.

The party, which took place inside the office building used by White House staff, included the families of executive-branch employees and VIP guests inside and outside government. Even though many of the attendees were members of President Trump’s administration, not everyone thought the Halloween game was a treat.

“Horrified. We were horrified,” said a person who was there and requested anonymity to avoid professional retaliation.

The Eisenhower Executive Office Building stands across from the White House and houses a large portion of the West Wing support staff and is home to the vice president’s ceremonial office. The “Build the Wall” mural was on the first floor, outside the speechwriter’s office and next to the office of digital strategy and featured red paper bricks, each bearing the name of a child.

Oh come on, this is the Donald J. Trump administration - if you're expecting someone who's kind, compassionate, and caring, you're in the wrong White House! But you know what? Let’s show the wall that kids built:

Now… don’t boo! I know that’s going to be your first instinct. But really don’t do it. Because rather than boo the wall, it’s time to start laughing at it. Because on Monday, Trump made the insane claim that the rebar being used to put up his see-through wall on the Mexican border was “impenetrable”. And which I never want to hear Trump use the word “penetrate” ever again. But that said, this happened:

President Donald Trump promised that a wall on the border would radically change undocumented immigration and customs enforcement. But it turns out newly built sections of the president’s wall aren’t as sturdy as he promised: Smugglers have been using a commercial saw to cut through it, according to the Washington Post.

Smuggling people and goods into the US is a profitable industry for criminal organizations, which is why they are motivated to innovate when it comes to breaching barriers. Of late, smugglers have reportedly been cutting through the wall — which is made of steel bollards that are partially filled with concrete — to make gaps large enough for people and goods to pass through.

To do so, smugglers are reportedly using a reciprocating saw that can be bought for as little as $100. The tool can cut through the wall’s steel and concrete in minutes when fitted with the appropriate blades, Customs and Border Protection (CBP) agents have said.

After cutting the steel bollards, smugglers have taken to returning them to their original positions in hope of reusing the passage without being detected by border officials.

I’m pretty sure that was Trump’s original intent with the wall! But in reality all it takes to cut through it is a $99 circular saw at Home Depot. Is that in the same section where they sell tiki torches? Anyway switching gears, congratulations to the Washington Nationals on winning their first World Series in franchise history. Houston Astros, you had a good run and you can rest assured that you don’t have to eat cheeseburgers with Trump . Because this happened:

Will someone please get the U.S. Marine Band off the internet?

The country's premier musicians have taken their skills down a notch, performing the world's most annoying jingle Baby Shark for the Washington Nationals during the team's White House visit. And that's far from the most unexpected stunt that happened when the World Series winners graced the South Lawn on Monday.

Not every National chose to head to the White House, giving either personal or political reasons for skipping the celebration with President Trump. But Kurt Suzuki was more than happy to be there. When Trump asked him to come up and say a few words, the catcher put on a MAGA hat, threw up his hands in a Trump-like manner, and unexpectedly participated in a Titanic reenactment with the president.

Paired with Ryan Zimmerman's thank you to Trump for "continuing to make America the greatest country to live in the world," the fan base that had booed Trump at a Nationals home game wasn't too happy. But politics aside, the most disturbing yet unfortunately memorable part of the event happened when the Marine Band broke out its rendition of Baby Shark. Kathryn Krawczyk

Great use of the Marine Corps Marching Band by the way. I mean come on, you have the Marine Corps Marching Band playing fucking Baby Shark. Did Trump think that song was about him? Donny Trump do do do do do do, Donny Trump do do do do do, Donny Trump! That is kind of catchy. But there is some good news, while Kurt Suzuki and Ryan Zimmerman were wearing MAGA hats and trading high fives with Trump, there were a lot of Nationals players who declined to visit:

The Washington Nationals celebrated winning the World Series with a trip to the White House, and while several players felt the love, others didn't attend.

From the 25-man World Series roster, there were seven Nats players missing from the celebration: Anthony Rendon, Sean Doolittle, Victor Robles, Michael Taylor, Joe Ross, Javy Guerra and Wander Suero.

Reasons were not given for the absence of most of the players, though Doolittle cited "divisive rhetoric" from the administration in his explanation to the Washington Post; Guerra said he was preparing for his wedding on Saturday.

Manager Davey Martinez, General Manager Mike Rizzo and the Lerner family were all in attendance, though no one from the Lerner family stood up with the team.

President Trump shared a moment with Kurt Suzuki, when he highlighted the catcher's game-ending, three-run home run against the Mets back in September. Suzuki approached the podium, put on a 'Make America Great Again' hat, and President Trump gave him a hug.

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: The High Cost Of $4.99 Chicken
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

One of Costco’s most popular and coveted food items is that $4.99 rotisserie chicken that they sell at the end of the display case. It retails for $4.99 but in order to meet that price point, there’s a lot that goes into that bird that you are consuming. But in order to continue to meet that coveted $4.99 price point, there’s a lot of very frightening genetic engineering that goes into it. In fact, Costco has gone to such extremes to meet that price point that there’s many, many trade-offs that are met before that bird hits the stores and you buy it and eat it.

At the back of Costco’s stores, past the televisions, jewelry, jumbo-sized ketchup jugs and tubs of mixed nuts, is one of the retailer’s most prized items: The rotisserie chicken that costs just $4.99.

Cheap Kirkland Signature rotisserie chickens aren’t only a quick way for families to get dinner on the table. For Costco, the chickens are a lure, pulling customers into stores and getting them to browse the aisles, adding sometimes hundreds of dollars worth of items to their shopping carts before they pick up that bird.

The chickens have become almost a cult item. 91 million were sold last year, double the number from a decade earlier. They have their own Facebook page with nearly 13,000 followers.

So Costco is willing to go to extreme lengths to keep its chickens at $4.99. For the past few years, it’s been recruiting farmers for this moment: The official opening of a sprawling, $450 million poultry complex of its very own in Nebraska.

It’s a highly unusual move for one of the world’s largest retailers. Costco will control the production process from farm to store, making key decisions down to the grain chickens eat and the type of eggs hatched. Costco has even put its socially-conscious corporate reputation on the line, fending off local critics who have rallied against the Nebraska operation.

Well you may regret buying that $4.99 bird later on. In fact it’s becoming a huge problem according to medical experts. But here’s what you may not want out of that chicken. Despite that it only costs you a $5 note, it’s also making you fat. Yes, that bird has genes that activate obesity in chickens in order to get as much meat on the bone as possible, and still allows Costco to meet the price point and their all-important profit margins.

Aside from its potential damage to the environment, the expanded production of Costco’s $4.99 chicken may also put more people at risk of health problems. CAFO-raised chickens have high levels of antibiotics and are exposed to bacterial contamination linked to drug-resistant urinary tract infection (UTI), according to Mercola.

CAFO chickens have also been associated with the obesity epidemic in the U.S. A report in 2012 showed that majority of commercially-available chickens contain the “obese gene.”

Chickens get such gene when they are forced to gain weight quickly for production. This increases the amount of potentially harmful fats in the food products consumed by people.

Another study suggested that CAFO chickens contain more fat and higher omega-6 while having lower amounts of protein and omega-3 fats.

Aside from health and environmental impacts, experts also raised concerns with chicken production’s unfair contract agreements. Robert Taylor, a professor of agricultural economics at Auburn University, said majority of American chicken farmers have a contract that “essentially makes the farmer an indentured servant” or “chicken house janitor.”

Apparently not. Because while that massive chicken farm in Nebraska has legal and health issues associated with it, there’s also some shocking numbers involving trade. Costco’s chicken is having a significant impact on trade as well as all of the other violations that have arisen because they are attempting to take control of their chicken supply. But by doing so, it has a significant economic impact on the global economy.

That’s why Costco is seizing control of its chicken supply chain. Costco believes it can slash costs by bringing production in house, saving up to 35 cents per bird.

It has already done the same with hot dogs.
Costco now produces 285 million hot dogs at a plant in California.

Costco sold kosher hot dogs at food courts until 2009, but suppliers started to run low on beef. So it brought production in-house and switched to its own Kirkland Signature-brand hot dogs. Costco now produces 285 million hot dogs at a plant in California.

Costco picked Nebraska for the poultry plant because the area had grain, water and labor available. Those are the three biggest costs involved with chicken production.

Although Nebraska is not known for chicken production, corn prices have fallen in recent years, leading to interest from farmers looking for new opportunities. The United States’ trade war with China has also taken a toll on farmers.

So with all that research should you pull the trigger on that $4.99 chicken when you see it on the shelves at your local Costco? Well there’s plenty of reasons for but there’s also plenty of reasons against. Just like the arguments for making your own food, Costco’s chicken along with many of their food items, is made to sell at a price point. And we’ve already covered the extreme lengths they go to in order to obtain that price point. And that comes with more stricter corporate regulations which as we’ve seen don’t really exist.

The arrival of a Costco chicken processing plant in Fremont, Nebraska, spurred the introduction of the state’s first industrial chicken farms in 2018. With the plant set to begin operations after Labor Day, some residents are pushing for stronger — or any — oversight of large poultry farms in the state.

Lancaster County, home to the state’s capital of Lincoln, has been the site of the most recent debate about how chicken farms are regulated. Last October and again in July, the county’s commissioners considered a moratorium on new poultry farms, prompted by residents’ concerns about water and air pollution.

Both times, the commissioners decided against the moratorium. But the county is now considering zoning changes that could address concerns about the minimal oversight chicken farms in Nebraska receive and how little is required of farmers before they being operations that can house tens of thousands of birds. A 10-member working group has been meeting regularly to debate and draft those changes, though there is no specific deadline for their recommendations.

Meanwhile, soon-to-be neighbors of one of the largest chicken farms ever in Nebraska are deeply concerned about their prospects if the farms continue to spread across the ag-friendly state.

That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of Oregon State! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! You know my favorite time of year has already come and gone and that is the annual tradition known as All Hallows Eve. Of course with that tradition, our brothers and sisters on the right can get a little, shall we say, batshit fucking crazy about the issue. Yes, sir, we are allowed to swear in my church! As long as it’s not at the LAWRD almighty, I am totally OK with that. As you should never take the LAWRD’s name in vain. So the question that I have for you on the table today is – is Halloween just an innocent party to honor all things spooky? Or is satanic witchcraft being practiced? I mean come on, this is the year 2019 here, and we’re still talking about witches? I mean these people. So we here at the Holy Church Of The Top 10 like to educate as well as entertain.

It’s tradition: As Americans dress up to celebrate Halloween, religious right figures warn that what seems like harmless fun is actually a dangerous participation in demonic activity and Satan worship. This year’s warnings seem a little higher-strung than usual given the ongoing religious right panic about President Donald Trump being targeted by witchcraft.

In recent days, the Trump-supporting media platform Charisma has repeatedly pitched “Why Christians Shouldn’t Celebrate Halloween,” a new ebook with nine “teachings” about Halloween. “The demonic realm is alive and active,” it begins.

The ebook’s author Katherine DeGraw writes that people often recognize that “evil forces” drive actions like mass shootings. “However, when it comes to the pagan celebration of Halloween, we somehow do not see it as having the same demonic and evil impact as those other tragedies,” she writes. “The effects of Halloween and human sacrifices are just as real. However, authorities—and the news media—simply don’t report them.”

She urged Christians to be on the “counteroffensive” against the “demonic realm” that is conjuring up “curses, spells, vexes and other evil practices” in the month before Halloween to “destroy Christians, uproot prophetic destinies and come against the plans of God.”

Always the ones you least suspect doesn’t it seem that way? Well so every Halloween there’s always this controversy. It’s always people like this that have to ruin it for everybody else isn’t it? And here’s the possible worst thing you can give to children on Halloween, maybe besides pennies. Take a look at Ken Ham, who wants to give children a reminder that they are going to HEYLL!!! Dude, don’t screw with children like that!

It seems like Halloween is continually becoming more controversial and difficult to enjoy with each passing year. Now we’ve not only had parents petitioning to change the date of Halloween, but it looks like creationist Ken Ham is suggesting people scare children on Halloween by threatening them with “eternal damnation.”

“One way you can make the most of this once-a-year opportunity is by giving gospel tracts to children and/or their parents, along with candy and treats,” he wrote on his website.

This includes items you can purchase through Ham’s own store, including fake $1 million dollar bills that he claims are “worth far more than a million dollars,” because they contain images of dinosaurs or Noah’s Ark bursting through the front. And, better yet, are the messages written on the back.

“Have you ever lied, stolen or used God’s name in vain?” a message on the back of one of the bills reads. “If so, you’ve broken God’s law. The penalty for your crimes against God is death and eternal hell because God is holy and just.”

The bills, which he intends for kids, even warn against things like lust which he compares to adultery. “God sees you as guilty of sin,” one of the bills read. “The penalty of sin is death and eternity in hell.”

And of course, creationist Ken Ham also has several other items available through his site that he suggests buying to pass around for Halloween. A lot of it is in an effort to promote what he calls reverse trick-or-treating. And of course, the purpose of that is to stop what he calls the “evils of modern-day Halloween.” Right.

Well we pretty much all are, Mr. Devil! But apparently if you are a supporter of the almighty, unholy Dark One, whose name shall not be spoken in my church, the line between your support of the Dark One and hatred for his detractors, and SAYTAN all run together! That’s what happens when you sit in front of Fox News for 24 hours a day.

Donald Trump’s supporters are commemorating Halloween in a magical way: by claiming that Democrats are targeting him with witchcraft.

Anti-LGBTQ activist Michael Brown says “the spirit of Jezebel” is executing a “Satanic plot” to destroy America and Trump using feminism, LGBTQ rights, abortion, witchcraft and sex trafficking of kids — and that’s just the tip of the black-magical iceberg.

Related: Are witches & gays corrupting upstanding politicians in DC?

On his web show The MC Files, right-wing conspiracy theorist Chris McDonald said, “[Democratic] Rep. Adam Schiff is a pedophile and a Satanist who practices human sacrifice.” How does he know this? Because he “senses such a dark, demonic power on Schiff whenever he hears his speak.”

The group Intercessors for America recently urged its followers to pray for Trump to protect him from “occultic activity.” Just how deep is this witchy plot against the president, you ask? Let them explain:

“Spells and hexes. Curses and binding. Witches, warlocks, occultists, and resisters of President Trump are focusing their negative energy and spiritual power toward President Trump right now. Monthly rituals have been taking place since the beginning of his presidency. Now, all who call on the name of the enemy are actively ramping up their efforts and coordination in this heightened time of occult activity for a week of binding beginning the evening of October 25.


That’s apparently what witchcraft is like in the year of our LAWRD 2019! And by the way, should you agree with the Dark One and that the accusations against him are the greatest witch hunt in modern history, let me lecture you on what an actual witch hunt is like. And remember we went through this in the 1600s, and we don’t want it coming back!

On a summer morning in 1692, Bridget Bishop, who was accused of being a witch, was hanged from an oak tree in Salem, Massachusetts, then dumped into a shallow grave. The thrice-married Bridget, 60, was decried for possessing dark powers by her stepchildren after her second husband’s death, in what may have been a bid to seize his property. She beat that earlier charge — but during the Salem witch panic, her luck ran out.

Out of the 16 falsely accused women of Salem and nearby villages who were either hanged or died in rat-infested dungeons awaiting execution, at least 13 were past their childbearing years, Jackie Rosenhek notes in “Mad with Menopause.”

In patriarchal societies — including our own — post-reproductive women have often been scapegoated as threats and burdens. But many scholars now believe that these women’s presence is not only a defining characteristic of the human species, but the very thing that enabled us to flourish. (One theory is known as the “grandmother hypothesis.”)

Scientists know of only five species in which females outlive the reproductive stage. Humans are special in this regard, along with killer whales — where older females ensure the species’ survival by guiding their pods to food sources. Until the last few decades, many researchers assumed that in humans, this trait was a useless quirk or the “unintended” result of some other adaptation.

There it is, folks! Halloween isn’t a celebration of demons and zombies, or a witch hunt! It’s just some mild and harmless fun! Of course our brothers and sisters on the right choose to ruin that fun. Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Offensive In Flight Entertainment
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Let’s talk some censorship. Come on everyone wants to be able to speak what they want to without consequences. Hell it’s a right guaranteed to us by the 1st Amendment in the Bill Of Rights. But there are some who won’t have any of it. There’s some out there that could say they hate the mere idea of freedom of speech. Those people are generally Christian conservatives. Now , that said we all get bored on airplanes, right? And airlines have come up with ways to give you some in flight entertainment which includes watching in flight movies on a tiny monitor built into your seat. So censorship and airlines – what do they have in common? Well Delta is editing the gay out of two of the gayest movies of the year on its’ flights. The first is “Booksmart” – about two high school over achievers who try to relive the fun they’ve lost in 4 years into one night. The second is of course “Rocketman” – the true story of how Elton John rose to become one of modern rock music’s most iconic figures. So how do these two movies fare with airline travelers?

Delta Air Lines is reviewing the process that allowed a lesbian sex scene to be cut from the film "Booksmart" after Olivia Wilde called out the censorship on flights.

Wilde, who made her directorial debut with "Booksmart," spoke out on the issue over the weekend while on the red carpet at the Academy's Governors Awards. In a Twitter thread Wednesday, Wilde said she learned the censorship went far beyond the sex scene and that airlines use third-party vendors to edit entertainment.

"I finally had the chance to watch an edited version of Booksmart on a flight to see exactly what had been censored," Wilde wrote. "Turns out some airlines work with a third party company that edits the movie based on what they deem inappropriate. Which, in our case, is ... female sexuality?"

The 35-year-old actor and director said the edited version of the film also cut the words "vagina" and "genitals," a female masturbation scene, an animated sequence where the main characters turned into naked dolls, and a scene where the two teenage girls watched porn.

"What message is this sending to viewers and especially to women? That their bodies are obscene? That their sexuality is shameful?" Wilde said.

Oh come on it’s OK if Maude Lebowski says it! So Booksmart is one side of the censorship coin after they removed all of the gay references and even went as far as to remove any references to female body parts, because you don’t know who is going to watch these movies! But here’s where it gets weird, this wasn’t Delta who was editing the third party content of these flicks. It was a third party!

A spokesperson for Delta airlines is denying reports that the airline asked for scenes to be cut out of Olivia Wilde’s acclaimed directorial debut Booksmart after several customers complained.

The issue was first brought up on Twitter when Wilde responded to a fan in shock after they said a lesbian kiss featuring one of the main characters was edited out of the airline cut of the film. While Wilde and the fan don’t mention Delta, several other users noted the same changes while watching the comedy on the airline.

In a statement to PEOPLE, a spokesperson for Delta explained that the airline hires a third-party editing company to provide its own edit of the movie along with the unedited version. If anything in the unedited version does not meet Delta’s guidelines, then Delta runs the third party’s edit regardless of whether parts of the film that don’t violate Delta’s guidelines have already been edited out.

“Delta’s content parameters do not in any way ask for the removal of homosexual content from the film,” Delta’s statement read. “We value diversity and inclusion as core to our culture and our mission and will review our processes to ensure edited video content doesn’t conflict with these values.”

It’s people like that why we’re subjected to this nonsense. So Olivia Wilde herself got involved with Delta to help bring LGBT to light within the airline. But the censorship didn’t stop with Booksmart, apparently the Elton John biopic Rocketman got into the censorship mix. Oh man I hope whoever Delta hired hasn’t seen Bohemian Rhapsody yet because I can imagine the airline edit of that movie would only be about… 3 minutes long.

Delta Airlines have reportedly censored gay references out of the Elton John biopic Rocketman, and it's only the latest of many instances where critics allege airlines have made questionable anti-gay edits to in-flight entertainment.

Reports of changes to the 2019 film emerged after Entertainment Weekly digital director Shana Krochmal tweeted Wednesday about noticing the changes while on a Delta flight. Several other passengers have weighed in online to add that they have also noticed the edits.

"On @Delta today discovered that #Rocketman is stripped of almost every gay reference or scene that @eltonofficial fought to keep in the film's mainstream release, including a simple chaste kiss," tweeted Krochmal.

Airlines typically edit in-flight entertainment for content, but specifically editing out gay references that aren't otherwise explicit or objectionable appears to suggest that the airlines believe being gay is somehow wrong, indecent or an otherwise unsuitable concept for a wide range of people to be exposed to.

Rocketman is a musical biopic about the life of musician Elton John, and a central part of the film deals with the singer's sexuality and his coming to terms with being gay. In the airline-edited version of the film, comments suggest that while gay references were largely removed, scenes of violence and swear words were apparently left in.

I love that Family Guy clip – is that the first ever meta parody? I mean Willian Shatner singing Rocket Man was enough, but then Stewie goes and parodies the video of William Shatner singing Rocket Man is too much! But there is some good news on this front – it appears that Delta has learned its’ lesson and will bring back the full unedited versions of these movies for all to enjoy. Now to find out who did it so we can unleash the internet outrage machine on them! But you want to watch these movies unedited and uncensored? Just bring your own device and watch it that way!

Delta Air Lines will restore same-sex love scenes to its in-flight versions of the 2019 movies Booksmart and Rocketman, the company confirmed to BuzzFeed News.

The airline said that it was provided an "edited" version of each film, but only realized this week that those versions omitted key same-sex love scenes involving its lead characters.

“We are working to make sure this doesn’t happen again,” Delta said in a statement.

The news broke after Booksmart director Olivia Wilde retweeted a viewer who complained that the hookup scene between one of the film's leads, Kaitlyn Dever, and actor Diana Silvers (Ma) had been cut from the film.

Two days later, an Entertainment Weekly editor tweeted that “almost every gay reference” had been cut from Delta's in-flight version of the Elton John biopic Rocketman, including a love scene between stars Taron Egerton and Richard Madden.

Delta says it never intended for these scenes to be cut, and a spokesperson told BuzzFeed News the airline is working directly with the films' respective studios on new edits that will restore the love scenes in question.

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[font size="8"]How Is This Still A Thing: Revenge Porn
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Time once again to ask:

This week – revenge porn. How is this still a thing? This week after California representative Katie Hill was forced to resign after some, not kosher photos of her surfaced, the topic quickly turned to why Ms. Hill was forced to resign: Revenge Porn. This wasn’t just a mere hit job, this was a carefully orchestrated takedown initiated by a group calling itself Red State. So the question that has turned to now is – was Rep. Hill held to a higher standard than her male counterparts? Well let’s ask Al Franken just how well that worked out. What? Too soon? Well the line between Katie Hill and the concept of revenge porn is a very fine one to toe.

Democratic Rep. Katie Hill of California, who announced her plans to resign from her congressional seat earlier this week, gave her final speech on the floor of the House of Representatives on Thursday, where she apologized to her supporters but said the forces that led her to leave Congress are larger than she is.

"I will never shirk my responsibility for this sudden ending to my time here," Hill said, "but I have to say more because this is bigger than me."

She went on to say, "I am leaving now because of a double standard. I am leaving because I no longer want to be used as a bargaining chip. I am leaving because I didn't want to be peddled by papers and blogs and websites, used by shameless operatives for the dirtiest gutter politics that I've ever seen."

Earlier this month, a conservative blog released intimate photos of Hill alleging she and her husband had a separate relationship with an unnamed female campaign staffer. That report included three photos of the congresswoman, including an explicit photo.

Yes, while we have Brett Kavanaugh on the Supreme Court and Donald Trump in the White House, Katie Hill was forced to resign, because, reasons. But let’s not overlook the main fact why she resigned – because of something called “revenge porn”. Katie Hill wasn’t the only victim of revenge porn shaming, let’s take a look at a similar story happening in Minneapolis.

A former intimate partner of Minnesota State Senator Scott Dibble distributed graphic photos of him to colleagues, just three weeks after former congresswoman Katie Hill went through a similar situation with photos that were dubbed "revenge porn."

Both Hill and Dibble's photographs fit into the category of what is colloquially called "revenge porn" and what experts call "nonconsensual pornography." This means explicit images of a person that may or may not have been taken consensually, but that are released to the public without the victim's approval.

In what was a surprise statement, Dibble said a "former friend" had been harassing him after a "brief intimate and consensual relationship with this person," reports the StarTribune.

"When I attempted to end the relationship, I was threatened with embarrassment as this individual attempted to coerce me into continuing the relationship," Dibble said.

"My resistance to his threats was met this morning with a communication that was sent to my colleagues with what had been private photos, videos, and text messages."

The Democratic-Farmer-Labor Caucus spokesperson, Ellen Anderson, confirmed that an unknown number of lawmakers received emails with attachments of the sexually explicit materials.

No we are definitely not amused by this. When you combine Katie Hill and Al Franken, you get a scenario in which anyone can be implicated in a scandal at any time if you have the pictures to prove it, and you may also get disproven for it. You know you could also solve this by – maybe – don’t take pictures of anything suspect!!! Because if you do it could almost certainly get you into trouble.

On Thursday afternoon, Katie Hill made her final floor speech to Congress, drawing her brief career as the representative from California’s 25th Congressional District to a close. Once seen as a rising star in the Democratic Party, Hill had been in the news recently for her personal life, with rumors, which she denied, that she had had an inappropriate relationship with a congressional staffer, while admitting that she did have one with a campaign staffer. A conservative blog and a British tabloid also leaked naked photos of her online, without her knowledge or permission.

As a freshman representative, Hill entered Congress as part of the most diverse class this country has ever seen. As one of 117 women elected to office in 2018, and one of the few openly queer women to ever hold national office, Hill offered a radically different idea of what American government could look like — and a radically different voice than many of those that had come before her. The attacks that ended her career were a painful reminder of just how vulnerable the change that many of us have been celebrating truly is.

For years, feminist activists have been sounding the alarm about nonconsensually publicized nude photos, also known as “revenge porn,” arguing that women are uniquely at risk of being targeted for public humiliation — and far more likely than men to suffer grave and punitive consequences after experiencing this sort of abuse.

With Hill’s resignation, that tragic prophecy has come true: The only other member of Congress who has publicly been the target of revenge porn was Rep. Joe Barton, R-Texas, and he stayed in office after the news broke but retired at the end of his term, more than a year later. Yet a woman has been driven from office.

And Hill is not the first female politician whose sexuality people have tried to weaponize against her. In January of this year, Hill’s colleague Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, D-N.Y., was the target of a fake nude photo scandal, which luckily had relatively little impact.

That is a good question. Why would anyone do this if you could get in serious trouble and it could have job-costing consequences? It’s no joke that conservatives are going after democratically elected women hard. OK that was a poor choice of words. But at least one state is taking measures to combat this horrendous practice. Yup, you guessed it, California. Hopefully they won’t be the last either.

Now former Rep. Katie Hill is quitting Congress —but she isn’t going down without a fight.

“I am leaving because I didn’t want to be peddled by papers and blogs and websites, used by shameless operatives for the dirtiest gutter politics that I’ve ever seen and (by) the right-wing media to drive clicks and expand their audience by distributing intimate photos of me—taken without my knowledge, let alone my consent—for the sexual entertainment of millions,” the San Fernando Valley lawmaker said in her final speech on the House floor.

Hill resigned after details of her sexual relationship with a campaign staffer—and a humiliating montage of corroborating photos—were posted online. Although she has apologized for her “inappropriate” relationship with the campaign aide, she is also taking aim at the conservative political blog RedState and the British tabloid the Daily Mail, which first published the photos. (She denies having an affair with a congressional employee, first reported by RedState.)

Hill’s legal team sent a cease-and-desist letter to the Daily Mail, citing California’s so-called revenge porn laws, which make it a crime to share private, sexual images without a person’s permission. Sympathetic commentators and advocates for victims of cyber exploitation have also characterized the reporting as “revenge porn.”

So only one state has the laws to combat this nonsense, and that’s the state that Katie Hill was representing in Congress. That’s enough to make you ask – Revenge Porn:

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people and people are dumb. And I love these stories because they are all spectacular and all insane. And I’m glad that I am not involved in any of them, because I probably could be. Well, maybe not. Week after week stupid people never cease to amaze me with the seemingly bottomless pit of stupidity that seem to just get exponentially dumber. I want to start with this story out of Georgia. Remember way back in the 1st season of Idiots (see: Idiots #45 ) when creepy clowns were everywhere? You know what if you’re going to commit a robbery maybe don’t commit one dressed as the creepiest clown of all time – Pennywise!

A Georgia man who dressed up for Halloween as the demonic Pennywise was arrested last night after cops responding to a call about a creepy clown approaching motorists discovered that the costumed reveler was the subject of an outstanding arrest warrant.

Police in Conyers, an Atlanta suburb, received a call Thursday evening about an individual dressed in a clown costume and holding a red balloon (the calling card of Pennywise, who terrifies children in Stephen King’s “It” and the movie adaptations of the horror novel).

Around 7:15 PM, an officer contacted Jason Maugham, 39, who was standing on a Conyers street corner. As seen in the above screen grab, the officer's encounter with Maugham was recorded by a police body cam.

When the officer ran Maugham’s name through a Georgia Crime Information Center database, an outstanding warrant came back indicating that the laborer was wanted in a neighboring county for failure to pay child support.

OK that’s creepy. Next up – dumb advertising. You know the sandwich chain Chik-Fil-A, which is famous for being closed on Sundays. Well, they had a promotion that backfired on them big time. The promotion was originally meant to promote National Sandwich Day, for which competitor Popeye’s was set to relaunch their famous chicken sandwich. But as many were quick to point out – National Sandwich Day was – wait for it – Sunday.

Chick-fil-A fans firmly have it ingrained in their minds – and stomachs – that the chicken chain is closed on Sundays.

But the Atlanta-based fast-food chain apparently forgot when it sent an email to some of its loyalty members this week.

"Calling all sandwich lovers," the email that also promoted the Chick-fil-A One program said, "Some prefer it grilled, others fancy the original. No matter which Chick-fil-A sandwich you love, order yours on November 3 for National Sandwich Day."

This year, the made-up food holiday held annually on Nov. 3 falls on a Sunday, which also happens to be the day that rival Popeyes' chicken sandwich – the one that prompted this summer's Chicken Sandwich War – returns to restaurants.

Next up – we have a pair of Jesus related stories in the People Are Dumb files. First up – we go to the Texas city of San Antonio. Where a drunken argument got someone crucified. Well, not quite literally, but a crucifix was definitely used as a weapon. And a very strange choice of weapon at that.

A local woman is in police custody after attacking her mother with a religious object.

According to a report from News 4 San Antonio, Christian Lydia Martinez came home drunk during the weekend and began arguing with her mother. The argument escalated to the point that Martinez grabbed a heavy, 10-inch crucifix off the wall and struck her mother several times over the head with it.

Martinez reportedly hit her mother so hard that the victim suffered a fractured skull. The suspect fled the scene when she saw that her mother was bleeding, Telemundo San Antonio reports.

The victim was taken to a hospital for treatment and is expected to make a full recovery.

Martinez, 25, has since been charged with aggravated assault. Her bail has been set at $30,000.

Yeah I can imagine the fight went down something like that. Next up – another incident involving religious symbols in the state famously known as the Sunshine State. You know it’s funny, I’ve read the Bible, I did not know that there was a passage where Jesus told his disciples to shoot first and ask questions later. I did not know that passage existed.

The Leon County Sheriff's Office says it arrested a 31-year-old man after a debate about the Bible with his brother escalated into a fight where gunshots were fired into the ground.

The incident on Wax Myrtle Drive happened on Sunday around 11:18 p.m., according to the arrest affidavit.

Michael Dean was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without the intent to kill, use of a firearm during a felony, criminal mischief property damage and harming a public servant or family member.

When deputies first arrived on scene, Dean's brother told them they drank several alcoholic beverages on the front porch and were in a heated debate about the Bible, the affidavit said. The brother then told deputies Dean choked him, but he broke out of it and a fight started.


Ah!!!! That’s the kind of thing that will haunt your dreams. Finally this week – we go to the city of New Smyrna Beach. Sigh… look, here my whole thing. If you have access to the internet for *ANY* length of time in 2019, you have to have heard of the phrase “jump the shark”. It’s defined as the moment where something happens in your favorite TV show that is so ridiculous it turns from good to crap almost instantly. And from here on out, you could say that Florida Man quite literally jumped the shark.

Florida headlines jumped the shark Sunday afternoon when a 27-year-old man was attacked by a shark that he accidentally jumped on in New Smyrna Beach, according to Volusia County Beach Safety.

The unidentified man was surfing and decided to jump off his board and into the water, said Av Jenkins, deputy chief of operations. The bad timing coincided with a shark that just happen to be swimming near by.

The surfer sustained minor lacerations and was treated on scene, Jenkins said.

The man drove himself back to Orlando after the incident.

Read more: https://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/breaking-news/os-ne-new-smyrna-shark-bite-surfer-jump-20191028-d7hv3vg7h5cxbpy6pttmzgnygq-story.html

That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Keeping Up With The Candidates Ep. 13: The Purge
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Welcome back to Keeping Up With The Candidates! This is our 13th week doing this and so far we’ve looked at the candidates, the issues, and everything else you need to get ready for the mother of all elections to end all elections 2020: The Quest For Curly’s Gold. Yes, we are pulling that reference out of our filing cabinet! But this week we’re going to talk about another film from another genre, and one that’s that much more horrifying: The Purge. And never mind that the actual slogan for The Purge: Election Year is also “Keep America Great”.

That’s real! That happened! And you know what’s even weirder? Is that if you live in Georgia, they are about to take your voting rights back to the stone ages. If Americans cared more about their voting privileges than they did about their guns, this would be an entirely different place! I mean this is 300,000 people we’re talking about here. That’s literally the size of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Georgia, a state where allegations of voter suppression dominated discussion of last year’s governor race, will conduct another purge of its voter rolls, the secretary of state’s office announced Monday.

This newest purge targets those who have not voted for several years—ostensibly because they have moved out of state—and could cause 330,000 voter registrations to be canceled.

Elections officials have justified it as a measure to clean up the rolls and simplify the election process. The state is obligated under a new state law to notify voters before their registrations are canceled. Officials said that the state would mail out the notifications early in November to an inactive voter’s last known address, and those voters would need to respond within 30 days (by returning the included form, re-registering online, or mailing in a separate paper registration form) or be removed from the rolls in December

Those who are “inactive” under this purge did not vote or update their registrations in the past five years. According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, those who did vote but had their mail from county election offices returned as undeliverable could also be included in the category.

No it’s not that kind of Purge. #SurviveTheElection. That said since this is the second time Georgia has attempted a massive voter purge in last year’s elections? Well it affected it a whole shitload, which is why you should be utterly terrified that they’re attempting to do it again. What happens when you show up to vote on the day of the election and you get turned away from the polls? It could happen to anyone at any time.

On Election Day 2018, James Baiye II drove to Lucerne Baptist Church in the same suburban Atlanta neighborhood where he’d been registered to vote for most of his adult life. He dropped his brother and elderly mother at the front door, parked the car and got in line. Though he’d been registered for years, the 31-year-old African American hadn’t been a frequent voter. He’d spent a few years playing football at a junior college in North Carolina. In 2012, Baiye says, he requested an absentee ballot, but there’s no record of it in the state’s voter file. In fact, he hadn’t cast an in-person ballot since 2008, when Barack Obama first ran for president.

This year was different. He’d become excited about candidacy of Stacey Abrams, the Democrat who was vying to become Georgia’s first African-American governor, and the nation’s first-ever black woman to lead a U.S. state. It wasn’t Abrams’ race that swayed Baiye, he said, but rather her pledge to run the government differently. “A lot of being there for the people,” he said. “I just wanted to see her succeed.”

But when Baiye finally reached the front of the line, there was a problem. Poll workers couldn’t find his name on their list of registered voters. This was puzzling: Baiye is a citizen, he wasn’t a felon, and he hadn’t moved.

What Baiye didn’t know was he’d been caught up in one of the most hotly debated campaign issues in Georgia. It turned out that a year earlier Baiye had been removed from the voter rolls in a purge led by the office of Republican Secretary of State Brian Kemp, who was running for governor against Abrams.

No that’s the wrong Purge again damn it!!! This is why you need to register and vote, vote damn it like your life depends on it! If you don’t vote in the current election you could lose your right to vote in the next election. And that thought is fucking terrifying. Want to know how we get such incompetent politicians in charge? It’s because you don’t vote!

Georgia Election Officials could soon remove more than 300,000 inactive registered voters from the state’s voter rolls. Now, political officials here in our area say about 6,000 of those people are in Richmond County alone.

A new state law requires voters to receive a notice before they can be purge from the voter registry. However, some, including the Richmond County Democratic Party and the local NAACP, say people shouldn’t lose their right to vote just because they haven’t exercised that right recently. They said they fear the purging process will be prone to mistakes and held a news conference to inform folks about how to keep their voting status active.

“When you’re talking about 6,000 people right here from Augusta, that can affect any district. That can affect any election in Augusta from mayor down to dog catcher. So, it’s important that we understand that in this state 300,000 people are getting ready to lose their right to vote,” said Richmond County Democratic Party Chairman Jordan Johnson.

“If people have a question about whether or not they’re still registered, if they’ve got purged, we can help with that. You can come down, you can look on the website or we can get you re-registered,” said New Georgia Project of Augusta Office Manager Joy Johnson.

Still the wrong purge, damn it!!! That’s the Purge: Anarchy. We’re talking about the Purge: 2020 Election, because it’s only 365 days away. That’s right – we have less than a fucking year to get ready and we have to be ready because there is going to be a barrage of anti-Democrat propaganda coming down the pike. Think it was bad in 2016? Hoo boy, what’s coming next year will make 2016 seem like chump change by comparison. But for now – register to vote and actually go out there and do it!

As Georgia election officials prepare to erase 313,243 registrations, several groups say they’re concerned that legitimate voters will be swept up in the purge.

The American Civil Liberties Union of Georgia identified 70 people Monday who it says voted in November 2018 but are targeted for cancellation.

The ACLU based its findings on voting records from a month after the 2018 election, but a more recent state voting list obtained last month by The Atlanta Journal-Constitution shows that no voters who have cast ballots since September 2016 will be canceled.

“The voter registration of one Georgia citizen canceled in error is one citizen too many,” said Andrea Young, the executive director for the ACLU of Georgia. “We call on the secretary of state to stop removing citizens from the voter rolls and focus on serving the citizens of Georgia by ensuring access to the ballot and free and fair elections.”

God damn it.

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

We’re going to talk about Beto’s unfortunate exit and who the current front runner is.

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Beck[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest needs no introduction! He is one of the best singer – songwriters in the country. His latest album is called “Hyperspace”. You can see him live at the KROQ Acoustic Christmas show playing Dec 7th at Honda Center. Playing his song “Saw Lighting”, give it up for Beck!

Thank you Gonzaga! This was fun! We’re off to Boise State next! See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Gonzaga University Student Center, Spokane, WA
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: Gonzaga Choir Club, Spokane, WA
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