HomeLatest ThreadsGreatest ThreadsForums & GroupsMy SubscriptionsMy Posts
DU Home » Latest Threads » Forums & Groups » Main » General Discussion (Forum) » A friend, a woman in her ...

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 11:31 AM

A friend, a woman in her 80s, has ended her life

I met her years ago in a local park. A casual conversation turned deeper when we learned that our families came from the same region of Europe.

She was a smart woman, actually far beyond smart, and I always looked forward to our conversations.

We'd meet in the park on just about a regular basis, and also, for lunch occasionally, and she had to be careful of what she ate because she was diabetic.

A couple of years ago, as the world started to become a darker place, she seemed to be turning sadder and depressed. While our conversations tended to focus on the arts, sciences, history, and so much more, we really never spoke of each others personal lives. It was an unspoken arrangement, but it just happened to turn out that way and it worked well.

One day last month, I made a mistake. I breached that wall of our personal lives. I asked her what was wrong.

She hesitated for a few moments and then she began to speak quietly.

Her entire family had died in the Holocaust. She had spent much of her life alone. And she feared what she saw/read/heard was now happening in America.

I asked her a few questions, but she shook me off. I can still remember most of her words. "Americans don't see it. I was a young girl and I didn't understand. But I remember. It's happening again."

I didn't see her for about a month after that. I knew where she lived and went over there. After knocking on a few doors, I found a neighbor who told me what had happened. She hadn't seen her for a while and then used the key she had.

My friend had died. It took a bit of time and money to learn that the cause of death was insulin overdose.

I've shed quite a few tears since. And I can't help but wonder if she didn't want to go the same way her family did.

39 replies, 7904 views

Reply to this thread

Back to top Alert abuse

Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum
Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 39 replies Author Time Post
Reply A friend, a woman in her 80s, has ended her life (Original post)
Cyrano Oct 2019 OP
50 Shades Of Blue Oct 2019 #1
irisblue Oct 2019 #2
sinkingfeeling Oct 2019 #3
livetohike Oct 2019 #4
Canoe52 Oct 2019 #5
LuvNewcastle Oct 2019 #6
Post removed Oct 2019 #7
Hekate Oct 2019 #9
uponit7771 Oct 2019 #25
irisblue Oct 2019 #15
mountain grammy Oct 2019 #8
cate94 Oct 2019 #10
Karadeniz Oct 2019 #11
gademocrat7 Oct 2019 #12
scipan Oct 2019 #13
Hekate Oct 2019 #14
GoneOffShore Oct 2019 #16
CaptainTruth Oct 2019 #17
LittleGirl Oct 2019 #18
virgogal Oct 2019 #19
calimary Oct 2019 #20
Politicub Oct 2019 #21
FakeNoose Oct 2019 #22
sheshe2 Oct 2019 #23
spooky3 Oct 2019 #24
CatMor Oct 2019 #26
malaise Oct 2019 #27
lapucelle Oct 2019 #28
bdamomma Oct 2019 #29
demigoddess Oct 2019 #30
Peace06 Oct 2019 #31
bluecollar2 Oct 2019 #32
PatrickforO Oct 2019 #33
JudyM Oct 2019 #34
ramen Oct 2019 #35
GreenEyedLefty Oct 2019 #36
Raster Oct 2019 #37
cwydro Oct 2019 #38
Heartstrings Oct 2019 #39

Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 11:45 AM

1. I am sorry for your loss. And sorry she was in so much pain that that was the only way out she saw.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 11:49 AM

2. I weep for her. I grieve with you. A light was lost

Last edited Sat Oct 19, 2019, 04:39 PM - Edit history (1)

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 11:55 AM

3. I'm so sorry for your loss. And the loss of a wise woman.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 11:56 AM

4. I'm so sorry for your loss. May the memories of your

times together bring you comfort .

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 12:00 PM

5. Yes, it's happening.

My condolences.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 12:17 PM

6. My condolences.

I hope your friend was wrong, but right now I think it could go either way. A lot of us, including me, insulate ourselves from the rabid right and their crazy concocted stories about this event and that. There are a lot of them, too, a lot more than we probably want to admit. I can't blame her for doing what she did, but know that she at least had one good friend in the world.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)


Response to Post removed (Reply #7)

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 12:43 PM

9. Babies in cages not horrific enough for you?

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Hekate (Reply #9)

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 04:31 PM

25. +1, its not just that. Trump could be committing text book UN Genocide article 2 by taking the ...

... children in the first place.

https://www.un.org/en/genocideprevention/genocide.shtml

Article II

In the present Convention, genocide means any of the following acts committed with intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnical, racial or religious group, as such:

A. Killing members of the group;
B. Causing serious bodily or mental harm to members of the group;
C. Deliberately inflicting on the group conditions of life calculated to bring about its physical destruction in whole or in part;
D. Imposing measures intended to prevent births within the group;
E. Forcibly transferring children of the group to another group.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Post removed (Reply #7)

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 01:26 PM

15. She is posting about her feelings of grief and loss first.

You really feel your comment is supportive of a fellow DU er in pain?

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 12:41 PM

8. I'm so sorry to read this..

It's terrifying to watch Americans buy into Trumpism, and that's what they're doing. Sure, it's the minority of Americans, but that's not stopping the agenda and we must ask WHY that is..

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 12:45 PM

10. I am sorry for your loss.

I’m sorry for your friends’ pain. Anyone with any knowledge of history can see the similarities, and it is frightening.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 01:00 PM

11. She was fortunate to have had you...you brought some sunshine into her dsys.❤

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 01:12 PM

12. Condolences on the loss of your friend.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 01:17 PM

13. Chilling.

I wish I could see a way to turn this around.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 01:25 PM

14. I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. Everything that's happened in America since ...

... Trump came down the escalator must have been triggering for her.

My late in-laws were Holocaust survivors, and I remember talking with my MIL during Dubya's media-assisted rush to war. Special graphics, special theme music -- cable tv provided it all for free. She said it reminded her of Vienna in the 1930s, and it was awful. I'm glad they're not alive to witness the rise of Trump and Trumpism, because the signs of cataclysm are all there and unless we are very lucky indeed our republic will die.

Treasure the memories you have of your friend.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 01:30 PM

16. This is yet another story of history repeating itself.

I'm sorry for you and your friend.


Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 01:32 PM

17. I'm so sorry...


Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 01:34 PM

18. I'm so sorry for your loss

Chilling thoughts.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 01:45 PM

19. Elderly suicide is not uncommon.Sad,but has nothing

to do with past life...and I’m elderly.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 02:13 PM

20. This hurts my heart.

And her warnings are worrisome indeed. She’d know.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 02:21 PM

21. That is heartbreaking. I am sorry for your loss.

She sounded like a wonderful friend.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 02:21 PM

22. My dear Cyrano I'm so sorry for your loss

I also have older friends who are survivors of the war and its aftermath. One friend in particular is my dear friend from Yugoslavia who was only a child during the war, and the Communists killed her father and put her family into a concentration camp. So these were the good guys right? Wrong!

My friend is 84 now and she's had a happy life here in Pittsburgh, she married a wonderful caring man and they raised 6 great kids. But my friend still sometimes gets strange depressing thoughts about what she survived so many years ago. (It wasn't the Holocaust, and I recognize that that was far more horrible.) When my friend feels like talking then I listen, as friends do. But I try to cheer her up and not dwell on the past, and I bring her music or schnapps occasionally to brighten her mood.

It is possible that your friend did not take her own life intentionally, perhaps it was a mistaken overdose.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 02:43 PM

23. Heartbreaking, Cyrano.

I am sorry for your loss.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 04:18 PM

24. I'm so sorry. And I hope the country turns around. Nt

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 04:49 PM

26. So very sad .....

she was lucky to have you as a good and caring friend.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 04:52 PM

27. Truly sad

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 05:00 PM

28. I'm so sorry...

Perhaps the greatest tribute that you (and even we who never knew her) can give is to spread her message.

Americans don't see it. I was a young girl and I didn't understand. But I remember. It's happening again.

May she rest in peace, and may you find peace as well.



Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 05:04 PM

29. Oh God

this so sad. People who lived through the holocaust will never forget. They know the signs. Poor woman.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 07:18 PM

30. so sad. I have been feeling the same, and I only know WWII from history books.

My father and uncle fought in WWII in the Pacific. But I feel for this woman, I can understand her fear. We all should.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 08:54 PM

31. So sorry for your loss

Last edited Tue Oct 15, 2019, 11:43 PM - Edit history (1)

Maybe, just maybe your friend is comforting you by whispering in your ear:

Grieve not
nor speak of me with tears, 
but laugh and talk of me 
as if I were beside you - 

I loved you so - 
'twas Heaven here with you 

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 08:58 PM

32. So sorry...but I understand

The depths of her anguish...

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 10:44 PM

33. I saw this earlier today. Sorry for your loss.

But it is also our loss. We have nearly lost the republic, and we've got to get it back. Your friend was quite right. If Trump stays in power there will likely be another holocaust, and we, all of us, are responsible for doing everything possible to keep that from happening.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Tue Oct 15, 2019, 11:44 PM

34. We are witnessing a massacre of tender hearts. Sorry to hear of this sad loss.

Good on you, though, for being a connecting piece of humanity.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Wed Oct 16, 2019, 12:11 AM

35. I'm so sorry.

She sounds like a remarkable woman. Whatever the circumstances, this is tragic. All the best to you navigating the surrounding grief.

We should all take her words straight to heart.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Wed Oct 16, 2019, 06:11 AM

36. I am sorry for your loss.

I do not believe that asking a friend what is troubling them is a mistake. It's human kindness.

Also I do not believe that your conversation led her to take her life. Big hugs to you.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Wed Oct 16, 2019, 07:20 AM

37. ...

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Wed Oct 16, 2019, 08:56 AM

38. She must have been very young during those years.

My parents were young and living in England during the war. Dad died at 83 in 2012. Mom died at 90 a few years ago. Both were children during the war. Your friend must have been very very young during that time. To have died in her 80s recently means she had a heckuva memory for a tot.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Cyrano (Original post)

Wed Oct 16, 2019, 11:14 AM

39. She will forever be in your heart....

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Reply to this thread