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Wed Oct 2, 2019, 05:00 PM

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #7-14: Wheel Of Corruption: Sign O The Times Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #7-14: Wheel Of Corruption: Sign O The Times Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! What’s up University Of Kansas? How are you guys doing? You doing fucking good? Great! Man, I thought last week was insane, holy shit. This week is like watching Avengers: Infinity War when Thanos shows up and everything starts going to shit, then Dr. Strange does that weird thing with his head and comes up with 1.4 million scenarios this could all play out and there’s only one that works. Whew, I mean I could talk about this all day but we got 10 items to get through and plan each one out accordingly. So do we have time for the thing? You know we’ve been doing this show for about 3 years now and we’ve been doing it live for over a year. We’ve had a few heckles, sure, but nothing like Chevy Chase experienced while doing a show in Atlanta. See he’s out promoting the 40th anniversary of his cult classic hit Caddyshack. So during the question and answer part of the show following the movie screening, an audience member yells out “YOU’RE BORING!!!”. And this is my favorite part – he attempts to fire back with an SNL insult from way back in the 70s, from a sketch that he wasn’t even in – “Jane, you ignorant slut!”. Oh yeah and he wasn’t even in that sketch, it was between Dan Akroyd and Jane Curtin. Thank you sir! Yes, I’m boring you all! You aren’t here to listen to me babble, you’re here for the idiots! That’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to, but first John Oliver is back and he enlists the help of his celebrity friends to warn you about the dangers of unregulated compound pharmacies:

Holy shit! Nancy Pelosi dropped the big one and called for an impeachment inquiry against Trump and it is getting crazy! In the first slot this week is of course the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump (1). And whew, it is going to take a lot to unpack the impeachment inquiry, but we can and we must power through it! In the second slot this week is also Donald Trump (2). So who are the whistleblowers who launched this complaint? We will get to know them and still keep them anonymously, because we have that coveted Wed at 2:00 PM slot! In the third slot this week, holy shit, is also Donald J. Trump (3)! And we have to unpack his absolutely bonkers speech at the UN General Assembly last week and dear god, I might need to take a breather after this one. Taking the 4th slot this week is Climate Change Deniers (4). So unless you’re living under a rock, you know about the journey of 16 year old Greta Thunberg, who hitchhiked across the ocean to speak to the UN about climate change, but why is she being compared to a Nazi? Yeah they suck. In the fifth slot this week is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5), and last week one of England’s oldest travel companies and airlines, Thomas Cook unexpectedly shut down and left travelers stranded. So what happens next? We will find out! Taking the sixth slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit (6) – and after the Dark One snubbed climate change activists to talk “religious freedom”, our resident pastor is going to do a deep dive on the subject. Taking the 7th slot this week is a new “Beating A Dead Horse” – can a movie be too dangerous? We’re going to explore the controversy surrounding the new Joker movie and who’s to blame for it – SJWs or incels? In the number 8 slot this week – is a new “This Fucking Guy”. This week after he got a subpoena from the House Intel Committee, we’re adding Trump’s crooked attorney and former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani to the list. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!!) slot this week we have a new “People Are Dumb”, because of course they are! And finally this week we’ve got another installment of our 2020 voters’ guide “Keeping Up With The Candidates” and this week we’re going to take a break from profiling and find out – where does your favorite candidate stand on impeachiment? The results might shock you! Plus we’ve got some live music from reggae legends Steel Pulse! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Treason Season
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Hey everyone say it with me: It’s time for the WHEEL OF CORRUPTION! YAY!!!!!

Of course you know the rules by now – I spin the wheel and we have to talk about whatever it lands on. Of course if it lands on the guacamole option, you know that it costs $1.50 extra. So here’s what is on the wheel this week:

- Guns
- Abortion
- Crime
- Poverty
- Elections
- Buy A Vowel
- Sex
- Clip Without Context
- Death
- Greed
- Spying
- Walls
- Food
- Elections
- The Border
- Donald Trump
- Clip Without Context
- Chance
- 5,000
- Bankrupt
- Community Chest
- Top 10 Investigates
- A Random Tweet
- Something Random In The News
- ‘Merica!
- Golf
- 10,000
- Morally Bankrupt
- Guacamole
- Clip Without Context
- Talk Shows
- Holy Shit
- Beating A Dead Horse
- This Fucking Guy
- How Is This Still A Thing?
- Intermission
- 15,000
- People Are Dumb
- Keeping Up With The Candidates
- I Need A Drink
- Infowars
- Go Directly To Jail
- T-Shirt Cannon
- Lightning Round
- Bonus Spin

So you remember last time we debut our brand new, completely redesigned Wheel, to much acclaim from the press! And we stopped using bad sequel titles and have moved on to using Prince album titles as the names. So let’s get this going! Spin that shit! Come on, no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! Clip without context!

Trump is his own whistleblower? How does that work? Like the scene from Fight Club where Edward Norton turns himself in and then he’s greeted by the cops who want to mutilate his genitals? Yeah kind of like that. Spin it again! Donald Trump. Or wait.

Yeah these are the people we’re up against. Of course if you know anything about anything that is going on right now, you know that Nancy Pelosi dropped the big one regarding impeachment, and Trump is losing it big time. See, MAGAs? We’re not hysterical lunatics, we’re laughing at you. And you can’t get it through your stubborn heads that you might be wrong. I mean we’ve covered a lot of stupid shit on this program from Trump and Trump fans, but asking a foreign power to investigate dirt on your opponent’s sons’ business dealings, that is crossing a line. Especially after you were previously investigated!!! How much lower can they get? Well a whole hell of a lot lower!

If the Trump administration has riveted the world -- a family saga of unexpected power, spiked with geopolitical tension and market upheaval -- the latest twist has international observers wary and agog as Democrats pursue an impeachment inquiry into the President.
After almost three years of turbulence that include presidential tweets insulting foreign leaders, abrupt withdrawals from international pacts and policy reversals as US officials say one thing and Trump emphatically says another, observers are almost inured to the chaos.
But current and former diplomats tell CNN that this chapter stands out, as much for what's at stake within the US as the potential fallout around the world.
"It's always something with this administration," said one European diplomat, "but this feels different."

Wag the dog?
CNN spoke to current and former envoys based in the United States as well as diplomats gathered from around the world for the 74th United Nations General Assembly to hear their countries' views and concerns as the impeachment drama unfolds.
Some said the turmoil could mean that US global leadership -- seen as waning under Trump -- will fade ever further. Others argue the President may try to draw attention from his domestic troubles by making a splash on the global stage, though few see a "wag the dog" scenario of war.
Some worried about the ripple effects -- that their leaders' call transcripts with Trump could also be released or that global markets could eventually be destabilized. Several said they see the impeachment battle ultimately strengthening Trump, while others marveled at just how far political discourse in the US has fallen, and how fast.

Yeah how about that? I mean we’ve been covering this shit show since the beginning and I feel like we might actually start seeing this come to an end and we might get the adults back in charge. There is just one problem though – we might not yet witness the full raw power of the right wing media machine, which has done nothing but divide us.

Rush Limbaugh, the popular right-wing personality who is widely regarded as the king of conservative talk radio, was on a fiery rant.

"The whole thing is a sham," Limbaugh told his listeners on Friday, speaking about the whistleblower complaint that has ignited a political firestorm which could ultimately imperil the presidency of Donald Trump.

"Bottom line, there isn't anything really new here," Limbaugh said. "This is just the next phrase of 'Get Trump.' This is the next phase of the operation to overturn the election results of 2016."
Limbaugh's comments, while extraordinarily misleading, were largely representative of how the right-wing media machine has reacted to the deepening scandal Trump finds himself in over his dealings with Ukraine.

A complaint filed by a whistleblower in the intelligence community, made public this week, alleged the White House engaged in a cover-up after Trump pushed the president of Ukraine to investigate former Vice President Joe Biden, the leading Democratic presidential contender. A rough transcript of a July phone call released by the White House this week confirmed Trump had, indeed, asked the Ukrainian president to "look into" Biden.

Now, as Trump faces an impeachment inquiry in the Democratic-led House of Representatives, right-wing media, which grew out of talk radio in the 1990s into a cultural behemoth in the 2000s, will be crucial to his survival.

Go blow it out your ass Rush, Trump is going down and you’ve got a first class ticket on the Republican Titanic! And in case you can’t tell or you don’t follow @realDonaldTrump, boy is he mad! He is frothing at the mouth psychotic mad. And he’s escalating the rhetoric very quickly! Really, someone needs to take Twitter away from him, he’s going to cause some serious damage and fast.

President Donald Trump on Monday attacked the whistleblower at the center of the growing Ukraine scandal and House Intelligence Chairman Adam Schiff, after promoting comments from a supportive pastor who told Fox News that impeaching the president would lead to a "Civil War-like fracture in this nation."

Trump's comments on Twitter came as he faces an impeachment inquiry in the House over a phone call with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskiy in which he asking Zelenskiy to investigate former Vice President Joe Biden's family. The Trump administration, around the same time as that July conversation, placed a hold on hundreds of millions of dollars in Ukrainian military aid, only to release it earlier this month.

Trump called the whistleblower complaint at the center of the scandal "fake" on Monday and said it was "not holding up," even though it lined up with a record of the July 25 call between the two presidents that the White House released, was deemed credible by a Trump-appointed intelligence community inspector general, and was authored by a whistleblower who Trump-appointed acting Director of National Intelligence Joseph Maguire told Congress last week had acted in "good faith."

Then Trump went after Schiff, who he said "illegally made up a FAKE & terrible statement, pretended it to be mine as the most important part of my call to the Ukrainian President, and read it aloud to Congress and the American people.."

"It bore NO relationship to what I said on the call," Trump added. "Arrest for Treason?"

Really, is anyone taking him seriously at this point? I mean the guy who is leading the investigation into your corruption is the bad guy? Seriously WTF is wrong with this guy? And now he’s calling for a second civil war? He’s losing it big time folks. I mean just the tweets over the weekend themselves are enough to get him impeached. But ah, probably nothing will happen, which is par for the course at this point.

President Donald Trump's recent tweet quoting a longtime evangelical pastor who warned of a "Civil War" if Democrats seriously pursue removing him from office could actually be grounds for impeachment, one Harvard Law professor said.

"If the Democrats are successful in removing the President from office (which they will never be), it will cause a Civil War like fracture in this Nation from which our Country will never heal," Trump tweeted on Sunday night.

The tweet was a quote from Robert Jeffress, a Southern Baptist pastor who gave the comment during an appearance on Fox & Friends Weekend. Trump added his own parenthetical aside to Jeffress' quote, in which the president asserted that Congress won't be successful in their impeachment efforts.

The president's tweet was immediately met with backlash, and Harvard Law professor John Coates argued that the social media post itself is an "independent basis" for lawmakers to remove him from the White House.

"This tweet is itself an independent basis for impeachment - a sitting president threatening civil war if Congress exercises its constitutionally authorized power," Coates wrote on Twitter on Monday.

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[font size="8"]Meet The Whistleblowers
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… wait for it… a random tweet!

Yes, that’s Cousin Eddie threatening civil war. You know what they say about politics making for strange bedfellows, right? Spin it again! Donald Trump! Yeah so the whistleblower is all over the news and Trump is losing it big time. So here’s where we’re at – the whistleblower has already sought federal witness protection because – wait for it – Trump supporters put a $50K bounty on his head. Yes, an actual hit man movie style bounty on his head. And just when you think the MAGAs can’t sink any lower, it gets worse. Don’t boo just yet!

The intelligence whistleblower whose complaint has rocked the White House is concerned for his safety amid a flurry of attacks by President Trump and a $50,000 price on his head, but is not asking for federal protection, his lawyer said.

Andrew Bakaj, a lawyer for the so-far unidentified whistleblower, wrote a letter to acting Director of National Intelligence Joseph Maguire warning that the whistleblower could be put in "harm’s way” should his identity be disclosed.

The lawyer quoted Trump’s reported statements that the whistleblower is a “spy” who should be harshly punishedand demanding to know his identity in defiance of federal law that bars any retaliation against those who file whistleblower complaints.

The letter also cites reports circulating on right-wing social media sites that Trump supporters have offered a $50,000 reward for the identity of the whistleblower.

“We expect this situation to worsen for our client and any other whistleblowers as the investigation continues,” wrote Bakaj, of the Compass Rose Legal Group. The firm did not immediately return calls for comment.

After the letter surfaced, CBS News reported on “60 Minutes” that the whistleblower had been placed under federal protection. The lawyer for the whistleblower denied that report, although "60 Minutes” said it stands by its reporting.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Now really Trump, or Tmurp as we’re now calling him, really brings out the worst in people doesn’t he? So what, are we going to play a game of the Masked Whistleblower? Who is the masked whistleblower??? Well, whoever it is, Trump wants to meet this person face to face – as is his constitutional right. But… as we’ve seen in that previous clip that we played, even they don’t know who the hell it is.

President Donald Trump escalated his attacks against the anonymous whistleblower at the center of the Ukraine call controversy that could soon see the U.S. leader impeached. The president's comments came on Sunday, just a day after the whistleblower's lawyer warned that the president's earlier remarks were already putting their client's "personal safety" at risk.

In a letter addressed to Joseph Maguire, the acting director of National Intelligence, the anonymous whistleblower's lawyer, Andrew Bakaj, warned on Saturday that Trump's public outrage over the whistleblower's report had already created "serious concerns for our client's personal safety."

"The events of the past week have heightened our concerns that our client's identity will be disclosed publicly and that, as a result, our client will be put in harm's way," Bakaj said of the whistleblower, who flagged concerns around Trump pressuring Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky to investigate 2020 presidential candidate Joe Biden and his son in a July phone call.

Of particular alarm, the lawyer said, were Trump's comments on Thursday, demanding to know "who's the person that gave the Whistleblower the information, because that's close to a spy."

"You know what we used to do in the old days when we were smart? Right? With spies and treason, right?" Trump said at the time. "We used to handle them a little differently than we do now."

Yeah that happened! I mean can we blame the whistleblower for not wanting to meet the guy who’s been openly threatening him and causing a bounty on his head? I mean really when you have a Commander In Chief who is an absolute loose cannon, and is stirring up his supporters to do something really bad, can you imagine what is going to happen when the whistleblower makes their appearance before Congress?

The lead attorney for the whistleblower that set off an impeachment inquiry into President Donald Trump expressed "serious concerns" for his client's safety to the acting Director of National Intelligence over the weekend.

Andrew P. Bakaj, the attorney, in a letter to acting DNI Joseph Maguire, said that he has appreciated the National Intelligence office's "support thus far to activate appropriate resources to ensure their safety," but also wanted to alert him of concerns over the whistleblower's safety.

"The purpose of this letter is to formally notify you of serious concerns we have regarding our client’s personal safety," Bakaj wrote. "The events of the past week have heightened our concerns that our client’s identity will be disclosed publicly and that, as a result, our client will be put in harm’s way."

Bakaj cited comments Trump made last week during a private event in New York, where he said: "I want to know who’s the person that gave the Whistleblower, who’s the person that gave the Whistleblower the information, because that’s close to a spy."

"You know what we used to do in the old days when we were smart? Right? With spies and treason, right? We used to handle them a little differently than we do now," Trump continued.

Yes, Trump, you’re a very bad person. And not in a comical Billie Eilish kind of way. Not even in a Mr. Burns kind of way, you’re pure fucking evil. And by the way, Russian trolls – don’t bother trying to out the whistleblower. Instead, you know who are better trash talkers? That’s right – these guys are the true masters of flinging shit. After all, AM radio talk show hosts get paid to fling shit.

From Donald Trump on down, prominent Republicans used part of their weekend to falsely accuse Trump’s hand-picked intelligence community inspector general (IC IG) of secretly changing the requirements for intelligence workers to submit whistleblower tips as part of a “deep state” plot to clear the way for the Aug. 12 complaint about Trump’s phone call to the president of Ukraine.

The smoking gun in the putative conspiracy is an obscure government form, IC IG ICWSP Form 401, also known as the Disclosure of Urgent Concern Form. The document is put out by the IC IG for intelligence workers who need to file urgent complaints that trigger special treatment under the Intelligence Community Whistleblower Protection Act.

According to the GOP and an army of conservative commentators, the old version of the form prohibited workers from submitting urgent complaints based on secondhand information; only misconduct witnessed personally could be reported. That changed in early August, the false claim goes, when ICIG Michael Atkinson snuck through a hasty revision to the complaint form that reversed longstanding policy.

“Whistleblowers were required to provide direct, first-hand knowledge of allegations,” reads a Saturday tweet by House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy. “But just days before the Ukraine whistleblower came forward, the IC secretly removed that requirement from the complaint form.”

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… wait for it… Donald Trump! But we just did Trump! Is the wheel broken? Oh it’s performing a system update. See, I’m still not used to the fancy controls of the new wheel. Please hold!

We’re back! Spin it again! Oh it lands on Trump again! Fine. Yes, we got to talk about how batshit fucking crazy his speech at the UN General Assembly was. Because, whew. There was quite a lot to unpack from that word salad. It was quite insane. But this might be my favorite part of the whole speech because if there’s anything Trump shouldn’t do, it’s compare himself to former presidents. And he definitely shouldn’t compare himself to Abe Lincoln. Oh no, he’s the exact opposite of Abe Lincoln. See, Honest Abe was the Great Uniter. President Shit For Brains, on the other hand is the great divider.

TRUMP: But you know you look at that — most presidential, I just said I’m the most presidential except for possibly Abe Lincoln when he wore the hat — that was tough to beat.


Honest Abe, when he wore that hat, that was tough to beat. But I can’t do that, that hat wouldn’t work for me. Yeah, I have better hair than him. But Honest Abe was tough to beat. Remember we used to do that during the campaign. They used to say, when I speak, the crowd would be crazy, I’d go crazy — we would all go crazy. We had a lot of fun together. We had 25,000 — We’ve never had an empty seat. From the day I came down the escalator, with a potential — unbelievable woman who became a first lady.


The crowds loved her, the people love her.

But we’ve never had an empty seat, not one. I really believe that. There was one case where we had a tremendous snowstorm, and it was just about frozen. It was like a monster storm, I don’t even know how it got there. I said, “how’s the crowd?” “It’s just not full, sir.” I said what does that mean. There’s like two seats on top. Thousands and thousands of people couldn’t get there. So they show pictures of the empty seats. The worst storm they’ve had in years. They show pictures of like nine empty seats. They could have been people just went to the bathroom together.

Was Honest Abe tough to beat? I couldn't gather from that mess of a speech whether or not he was tough to beat or not. And we’re going to get into the subject of religious freedom in a bit when Holy Shit starts. But really, when Trump speaks is anyone listening but the MAGA base? I would be curious to know the answer.

Today marks the first day of the high-level debate at the U.N. General Assembly in New York, with U.S. President Donald Trump set to deliver his third speech on the world’s biggest diplomatic stage. This year, the issues at the top of the U.N. agenda may differ from Trump’s. The president’s address follows Monday’s U.N. climate summit—where the most striking speech was delivered by teenage climate activist Greta Thunberg.

One topic that could capture attention in Trump’s speech? Iran. The U.S. president has already said that he will discuss regional tensions in the Persian Gulf in his address. On Monday, the leaders of Britain, France, and Germany backed the United States in blaming Iran for the recent attacks on Saudi oil facilities and endorsed the idea of talks with Iran over a new nuclear deal.

Chipping away at a legacy. The Trump administration has been quietly eroding one of former Vice President Joe Biden’s foreign-policy legacies, Colum Lynch reports. The 1999 Helms-Biden act resulted in the repayment of nearly $1 billion to the United Nations. But under Trump, the United States has stopped paying hundreds of millions in dues—potentially damaging Washington’s standing at the United Nations.

Another president’s speech. As is tradition, Brazil’s President Jair Bolsonaro will open the U.N. General Assembly debate today, speaking immediately before Trump. Bolsonaro—still recovering from abdominal surgery—will stay in New York only briefly. His speech is expected to irk other world leaders, particularly as he defends his controversial environmental policies, which many observers blame for contributing to fires and deforestation in the Amazon.

Yeah I’m about ready to do that too. But what’s crazier is that Trump is channeling his inner Alex Jones and speaking about the dangers of globalism. I will repeat that. He is speaking at the UN about the dangers of globalism! This would seriously be like speaking at the Peta convention about getting food poisoning from eating tofu! Just…. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

Donald Trump has used his address to the UN general assembly to deliver a nationalist manifesto, denouncing “globalism” and illegal immigration and promoting patriotism as a cure for the world’s ills.

Trump’s third UN speech of his presidency was a largely philosophical tract delivered in a muted monotone, which bore the hallmarks of his most long-serving hardline White House adviser and speechwriter, Stephen Miller.

In his address, the US president echoed the rhetoric of far-right nativist groups who argue that citizens with long family history in a country have a more profound grasp of national interests than recent arrivals, and that the established population should be on its guard against forces aimed at its “replacement”.

“The free world must embrace its national foundations. It must not attempt to erase them, or replace them,” Trump said. “The true good of the nation, can only be pursued by those who love it, by citizens who are rooted in its history, who are nourished by its culture, committed to its values, attached to his people.”

In the course of his 36-minute speech, Trump repeatedly referred to “patriots”, an undefined group of citizens uniquely able to interpret national interest.

I believe that’s the actual live feed from Alex Jones watching this speech in the Infowars studios. But this might be my favorite part of the UNGA last week. Apparently Wilbur Ross pulled his best Homer Simpson and fell asleep during Trump’s speech! Do I have to be the one to say it? OK – Wilbur Ross is officially the smartest person in the room there!

President Donald Trump used his Tuesday morning speech before the United Nations General Assembly to criticize global free trade, illegal immigration, social media, and others of his favorite rhetorical and political targets.

Part of the way through Trump's speech, Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross, sitting in attendance with other Trump administration officials, appeared to fall asleep. Video of the General Assembly shows Ross with his head down and eyes closed during parts of the president's speech.

In a statement provided to USA TODAY afternoon, Ross responded, saying his was not a schedule of someone with "low energy."

"This is fake news," the Commerce secretary said in the statement. "I wear hearing aids and, during President Trump’s inspiring speech, which covered in detail the entire range of significant issues facing the world, was concentrating on what was being said."

Ross continued: "Immediately following the President’s remarks, I attended bilateral meetings with the leaders of the United Kingdom and India, and, later in the day, will have follow-up meetings with officials from the United Kingdom and South Korea. Additionally, throughout the entirety of the UN General Assembly, I attended events or am planning to participate in meetings with the governments of Pakistan, Poland, Egypt, Japan, Greece, and Vietnam."

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[font size="8"]Climate Change Deniers
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Let’s spin it to win it! And it lands on… DEATH! Well, Death Metal anyway!!! m/ m/

Hey two Swedish exports in one! How cool is that? Spin it again! The environment!

Well, Milhouse’s words are empty but the point is clear that people don’t care about the planetary environment they live in. How little do they care? I mean shit it’s been 15 fucking years since Al Gore won the best documentary for An Inconvenient Truth, and people still don’t give a fuck. Hell, the subject of this next entry – Greta Thunberg – was in fact just one year old at the time. Now at age 16 she’s an international celebrity for having the guts to call out our politicians for not giving a shit.

When Greta Thunberg began her speech to the United Nations, it was clear from the start that her address to world leaders would be different.

"My message is that we'll be watching you."

The line was met by applause and some laughs, but her expression signaled that this was no laughing matter to her.

If you listen to the scientists, as Thunberg urged Congress to do earlier this month, it's easy to understand why.

If the planet continues to warm, the evidence suggests the future awaiting her generation could be frightening..

The 16-year-old's fiery speech was a milestone of sorts for a movement that's been given new urgency by a group of savvy young leaders.

Around the world, young people are increasingly leading the push to address climate change. They are filing lawsuits, marching in the streets in massive numbers, and pressuring world leaders to act.

Unfortunately Homer, it doesn’t work that way. And you know what? Climate change is an issue that affects everyone. And it doesn’t take an environmental scientist to see what’s going on in the world around you. Deadly fires. Tornadoes in places where they weren’t before. Lighting during a heavy snow storm. Hurricanes the size of small cities. And if you keep denying it, it’s only going to get worse. But thankfully we have people looking to enact real change on this issue!

Six million people have taken to the streets over the past week, uniting across timezones, cultures and generations to demand urgent action on the escalating ecological emergency.

A fresh wave of climate strikes swept around the globe on Friday with an estimated 2 million people walking out of schools and workplaces.

Organisers say that during the week of protests – that began with a global climate strike last week – a total of 6 million people, from trade unionists to schoolchildren, have taken part in thousands of towns and cities.

“This week was a demonstration of the power of our movement,” said a spokesperson for the FridaysForFuture group which has helped coordinate the demonstrations. “People power is more powerful than the people in power. It was the biggest ever climate mobilisation, and it’s only the beginning. The momentum is on our side and we are not going anywhere.”

Yeah and the sugar won’t be the only thing that’s melting, Homer! And by the way if you want to know where all this madness revolving around climate change is so important, and why Ms. Thunberg needed to speak before the UN, most of it can be traced back to one guy – the late, not great, king climate change denier himself – David Koch. Yeah, fuck that guy.

David Koch, who died Friday at the age of 79, is best known as a major funder of right-wing political causes, from tax cuts to deregulation, an enthusiastic patron of the arts and a man-about-town. But to his critics, his most lasting political legacy might very well be the rapidly warming world that he has left behind.

Koch Industries realized early on that it would be a financial disaster for the firm if the American government regulated carbon emissions or made companies pay a price for releasing carbon into the atmosphere. The effects of such a policy would be measured over decades for Koch. The company has billions of dollars sunk into the complex and expensive infrastructure of crude-oil processing. If a limit on greenhouse gas emissions were imposed, it could dampen demand for oil and diminish the value of those assets and their future sales. The total dollar losses would likely be measured in trillions over a period of 30 years or more.

In the face of this political problem, David Koch and his brother Charles built a political influence machine that is arguably unrivaled by any in corporate America.

Construction on the Koch political machine began in the 1970s, after Charles Koch took over the family company. He and David began funding and orchestrating a political project to restrain government power in the United States through lobbying, think tanks and political donations. The effort accelerated in the 1990s after a Senate committee, following a long investigation, accused Koch Industries of stealing oil from Native American reservations where the company was operating. That experience convinced David and Charles Koch that they needed to have a stronger presence in Washington to fend off their critics.

Yeah if we keep getting climate change deniers like Mr. Koch in charge, we’re gonna get more killstorms and they will be a whole lot worse than class 3! But you know what’s really scary about climate change deniers? Is that even the people who are in a position of power where they could actually do something about it, are fucking terrified! Well? What are you waiting for? Fucking do something!!!

The Duke of Sussex says there is "a race against time" to halt global warming, adding that he is "troubled" by climate change deniers.

"I don't believe that there's anybody in this world that can deny science," he said.

He called it "an emergency", adding "the world's children are striking" after teenage activist Greta Thunberg led a worldwide protest on Friday.

Prince Harry is visiting Botswana as part of a tour of southern Africa.

He says it was the place he went to "to get away from it all" after his mother's death.

The duke had visited the country soon after Diana, Princess of Wales, died in August 1997 and had made "some of my closest friends" there.

"Now I feel deeply connected to this place and to Africa," he said during a visit to the Chobe Tree Reserve.

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Thomas Cook Shut Down
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Let’s spin it to win it! Oh hey it’s one of our patented clips without context!

He is aware that there’s only 329 million people in this country, right? I think Lance might have been off by a zero there. If he wasn’t then… Spin it again! Hey it’s time for Top 10 Investigates!

It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

What happens when a holiday turns into a nightmare? While we in the United States don’t get the European style holidays that most of us only dream of, it can be a nightmare when the company who booked your vacation shuts down. That happened last week when one of England’s oldest companies, Thomas Cook, shut down entirely and ended it’s hotel and airline reservations, ruining the vacation prospects for thousands of people. In short, it’s a category 5 shit storm and it doesn’t look like it’s going to be resolved any time soon.

British tour operator Thomas Cook collapsed on Sunday night, stranding hundreds of thousands of travelers and putting 21,000 jobs at risk.

The 178-year-old company said in a statement that its board "concluded that it had no choice but to take steps to enter into compulsory liquidation with immediate effect" after talks on a financial rescue failed. All Thomas Cook bookings have been canceled, the UK Civil Aviation Authority tweeted.

Peter Fankhauser, Thomas Cook's chief executive, apologized to customers, employees, suppliers and partners.
"This marks a deeply sad day for the company which pioneered package holidays and made travel possible for millions of people around the world," Fankhauser said.

"Despite huge efforts over a number of months, and further intense negotiations in recent days, we have not been able to secure a deal to save our business. I know that this outcome will be devastating to many people and cause a lot of anxiety stress and disruption," he added.

Well, the Thomas Cook shutdown is having a whole lot of people being fooled because the economic implications of Thomas Cook being shut down are simply put, catastrophic. Add Brexit into the mix and you’re looking at a category 6 shit storm. The craziest thing is that some ½ million travelers got stranded all over the world. You heard that right – a half MILLION.

Thomas Cook, the world’s oldest travel company, suddenly collapsed on Monday, stranding hundreds of thousands of passengers across the world.

The British company, which has been operating since 1841 but in recent years has been struggling under $2 billion in debt, entered liquidation after failing to secure a deal with creditors and being denied a government bailout. All of its flights were canceled, and thousands of employees found themselves without work.

The chaotic scenes did not come at British airports—passengers who had not yet left were warned not to show up—but from airports abroad, where as many as 500,000 customers (at least 150,000 of whom were British residents) were stranded without a return trip home. The result: The British government is now conducting what is being called the country’s largest ever peacetime repatriation effort.

On Monday, the U.K.’s Civil Aviation Authority began organizing for British tourists to be flown back. The CAA said it expects to run 1,000 flights from 55 destinations to retrieve the British passengers. Some passengers are still waiting for guidance and worried about the possibility they may not recoup the cost of their vacations. (Thomas Cook operated its own airline, hotels, and resorts, but it also booked hotels and other travel amenities from third parties in its popular vacation packages). Many customers are guaranteed their money back under a British financial protection scheme that safeguards most package holidays sold by British businesses. Non-British travelers may have other aid from their home countries or travel insurance.

Yeah so Thomas Cook was a whopping $2 billion in debt – another example of a company getting too big for its’ own good.. So how were dream holidays ruined for many Brittoners? Well, we Americans don’t get holidays like this but it must be nice to dream what it’s like. Even still, it must be horrible to feel stranded when it the company leaves you hanging like this.

Thomas Cook customers may have to wait as long as two months to receive a refund for holidays they have booked with the collapsed travel firm.

The Civil Aviation Authority (CAA) said direct debit customers would be refunded within 14 days but others would have to wait up to 60 days.

Lucy Aydinalp said the delay meant her "dream holiday" to the Dominican Republic in November was now ruined.

"I have three children who don't get their holiday; it's such a sad time."

Ms Aydinalp from Manchester was a Thomas Cook employee for six years up until the collapse of the holiday firm.

She is currently on maternity leave but previously worked in a Thomas Cook High Street store.

Yes, when disaster strikes the only thing to do is to press on. In fact it wasn’t reckless ransacking by hedge fund billionaires that brought down Thomas Cook, as one would have you believe. Instead it was gross managerial incompetence that brought down one of the world’s oldest travel companies. Yes, terrible management! As a certain world leader might say.

Almost a week after the collapse of Thomas Cook, the cost of failure looks as severe as feared. Repatriating 150,000 holidaymakers could mean a bill of £100m. Hoteliers have to be compensated, probably to the tune of tens of millions of pounds. And the biggest cost involves refunding customers for future bookings. The whole bundle could run to £500m. The travel industry has an insurance scheme, but taxpayers could still be on the hook for a shortfall.

Consideration must also be given to the pain caused to employees and customers. On social media, you can find desperate former Thomas Cook airline crew and branch staff appealing for new employment opportunities. Operation Matterhorn, the Civil Aviation Authority’s repatriation effort, has been slick but holidaymakers have nonetheless suffered stress and disruption.

Should the government have saved Thomas Cook instead? No. That argument was aired immediately after the company’s collapse but its credibility has weakened by the day.

That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? Chance! Oh sweet, I get a Get Out Of Jail Free card!

I’ll just put that away for later! Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of Kansas! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation!! There is turmoil around the world over the future of the planet. But that said, the unholy, ungodly Dark One, whose name shall *NOT* be spoken in my church, has taken it upon himself to spread the world that people are free to worship the religion that they please! Except maybe for Islam, he hates that sort of thing. But that’s the Dark One, that’s not me. All are welcome in my church, you know that! So what is religious freedom?

Describing the USA as a country founded on religious tenets, President Donald Trump urged other nations Monday to join him in trying to end “religious persecution.”

“The United States is founded on the principle that our rights do not come from government,” Trump said at the United Nations. “They come from God.”

It was an unusual address, which the White House billed as the first time an American president convened such a meeting at the United Nations. Critics scoffed because of Trump’s immigration travel restrictions against predominantly Muslim countries and other policies.

Trump's push is a major departure from his tendency toward a go-it-alone strategy on foreign policy.

"Today, I ask all nations to join us in this urgent, moral duty," Trump said, announcing the United States is committing an additional $25 million to protect religious freedoms, religious sites and relics from attacks.

Now is anyone really surprised that the Dark One, in all of his infinite GAWDLY wisdom, gets it wrong again? That’s why his name shall not be spoken in my church!!! So why is he pushing this so hard lately and what’s the incentive for him? There’s really no incentive for the churches other than they get screwed and their parishioners get subjected to hate and bigotry the likes of which we haven’t seen before that would make even JAYSUS squirm. But yeah this is what he’s proposing.

President Donald Trump announced new initiatives as part of a global call for protecting religious freedom at the United Nations General Assembly on Monday, which his aides have characterized as the centerpiece of his visit to the conference of world leaders.

Trump announced that the US would dedicate "$25 million to protect religious freedom, religious sites, and relics." In addition, the US will be "forming a coalition of US businesses for the protection of religious freedom."

Trump said he is the first US president to host such a meeting.
"That's very sad in many ways," he said. The President also called the issue one of his "highest priorities."

"Today, with one clear voice, the United States of America calls upon the nations of the world to end religious persecution. Stop the crimes against people of faith," Trump said. "Release prisoners of conscience. Repeal laws restricting freedom of religion and belief. Protect the vulnerable, the defenseless, and the oppressed."

Of course even the good LAWRD JAYSUS wants you to deal with it! But of course they get it wrong, especially when they fail to mention that one of the chief allies of this wretched administration is quite literally the WORST offender in terms of religious freedom: Saudi Arabia! By the way folks, give it up for my gospel choir how great are they? So who’s persecuting who? That is the question on the table here!

Nearly four years after proposing a ban on Muslim immigrants as part of his presidential campaign, Donald Trump devoted his first major appearance at this year’s United Nations General Assembly to religious liberty, a topic that has increasingly emerged as a central administration talking point.

“Approximately 80 percent of the world’s population live in countries where religious liberty is threatened, restricted, or even banned,” Trump said at the event, citing a statistic from a Pew Research Center report that also attributed anti-Muslim sentiment, in part, to him. “When I heard that number, I said, ‘Please go back and check it because it can’t possibly be correct.’ And, sadly, it was. Eighty percent.” (It’s actually 83 percent.)

Trump and his advisers, including Vice President Mike Pence and Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, love this statistic. They’ve invoked it several times during the administration’s months-long push to make religious freedom a central plank of American foreign policy, which has included two State Department summits and Trump’s Oval Office meeting in July with victims of religious persecution.

And while they’re quick to highlight American adversaries like Nicaragua and Venezuela, as Trump did in his Monday speech, they often fail to mention an ally which Pew rates as one of the worst suppressors of religious freedom: Saudi Arabia.


Yes, even the good LAWRD JAYSUS thinks this is ridiculous! I mean do we really want to join the Saudis as far as this goes? I think that my position on Saudi Arabia is known far and wide, and well, let’s just say I’m not a fan. Yeah leave it at that. But this might be the worst offender of this administration by far – and a prime example of why his name shall not be spoken in my church!

President Donald Trump said at the United Nations this week that "protecting religious freedom is one of my highest priorities." But his promise rings hollow to advocates for persecuted religious minorities seeking refuge in the United States.

Trump's administration already has slashed the nation's refugee admissions ceiling to a historic low and on Thursday proposed a further cut for next year, to 18,000 — an 84% drop from the cap proposed during the last year of Barack Obama's presidency.

The president's promotion of global freedom to worship prompted the State Department to set aside 5,000 refugee slots for religious minorities. But faith-based groups that resettle refugees had urged him to avoid more erosion of a program dedicated to helping the persecuted worshippers whose oppression Trump has decried.

The list of persecuted religious groups whose access to refugee admission has withered under Trump includes Christians in Iran, Syria, Pakistan, Myanmar and Sudan, as well as Iraqi Christians and Yazidis — whose mass slaughter and enslavement by the Islamic State was labeled "genocide " by Trump's State Department in 2017.

That’s why the Dark One’s name shall not be spoken in my church – for he is the face of EEVIL and hypocrisy – things that the good LAWRD does not stand for! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: The Joker Controversy
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Spin it to win it! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop!!! Clip without context!

No Bob it is happening and it’s happening because God is pissed!!! Spin it again! Oh it’s time for Beating A Dead Horse!

Can a movie be too dangerous? Ever since the 2012 shooting at the midnight showing of the Dark Knight Rises in Aurora, Colorado, naturally people have been a bit squeamish when it comes to the releases of new Batman movies since then. But the latest chapter in the 80 year old Batman saga – the origin story of Gotham’s favorite villain, the Joker is coming to life in a new movie being released this Friday. On one hand the movie is getting just unbelievable praise for Joaquin Phoenix’s portrayal of down on his luck stand up comedian who rises to become the ultimate supervillain that we all know and love. On the other hand, the movie just might be too good. So good that you might see some extra guests when you buy your movie tickets this weekend.

Amid concerns about potential violent situations, the opening weekend of Warner Bros’ controversial Joker in New York City will see an increased police presence both in and out of uniform.

Earlier this week, the NYPD’s Chief of Patrol Rodney Harrison told officers that the department plans to visibly station cops at theaters showing the Joaquin Phoenix-starring film. Now Deadline has learned that a significant undercover detachment will also be deployed to make sure nothing untoward occurs inside cinemas in Manhattan, the Bronx, Queens, Brooklyn and Staten Island.

“This is 360-degree policing approach to ensure safety for ticket buyers in their seats, as well as on the streets,” a law enforcement official said of the strategy to have plain-clothed police in a number of theaters in America’s largest city starting with the October 3 previews and throughout the expected heavily attended weekend. “If something happens inside one of the screenings, we intend to be able to pacify the situation quickly and conclusively,” the well-placed source added, noting that large-scale and security-hefty events go off without a hitch in New York every day.

Still, concerns about threats have bedeviled this latest take on Batman’s arch nemesis since Joker debuted at the Venice Film Festival in late August. Set in a near-collapsing and crime-invested Gotham City of 1981, the Todd Phillips-directed and Golden Lion-winning Joker, which co-stars Robert De Niro, pays distinct homage to Martin Scorsese’s 1976 film Taxi Driver and 1982’s King of Comedy – both of which featured his The Irishman lead De Niro and both of which were stationed in a decaying NYC.

Yes, it is, Joker! I mean as if the world is getting crazier, now we have people making violent threats on movie theaters showing the Joker. So how did we get the Joker? Well let’s ask the film’s director, Todd Phillips, the guy responsible for beloved bro comedies like Old School and The Hangover who’s responsible for this controversy.

Joker director Todd Phillips has revealed how "woke culture" directly led to his upcoming take on the Clown Prince of Crime.

Prior to working on Joker, Phillips was primarily known for such comedies as Old School and The Hangover. In a profile on star Joaquin Phoenix in Vanity Fair, Phillips revealed how he began to find making comedies difficult due to "woke culture" and that directly led to Joker, which he pitched as a dark movie without many of the typical conventions of superhero movies.

“Go try to be funny nowadays with this woke culture,” he said. “There were articles written about why comedies don’t work anymore—I’ll tell you why, because all the f*cking funny guys are like, ‘F*ck this shit, because I don’t want to offend you.’ It’s hard to argue with 30 million people on Twitter. You just can’t do it, right? So you just go, ‘I’m out.’ I’m out, and you know what? With all my comedies—I think that what comedies in general all have in common—is they’re irreverent. So I go, ‘How do I do something irreverent, but f*ck comedy? Oh I know, let’s take the comic book movie universe and turn it on its head with this.’ And so that’s really where that came from.”

Despite initially positive reviews following the movie's premiere at the Venice Film Festival, Joker has proven controversial, with many wondering about the potential real world impact of the movie and its portrayal of violence. In September, a question about whether Joker might inspire violence led to Phoenix walking out of an interview. Still, despite the controversy, Joker is tracking to be a major box office success.

Yes, why so serious, Todd? Really you’re blaming “woke culture” for the reason why nobody is going to see comedies anymore? Except you missed Zombieland, The Dead Don’t Die, Good Boys, Booksmart, Between Two Ferns, and Long Shot – all R rated comedies that did pretty well at the box office. Bro culture is going out the window for a different kind of humor. So yeah if you can’t be funny, be as violent as possible is the message we seem to be getting from this! But yeah let’s blame “woke culture”.

Joker, starring Joaquin Phoenix as a clown who eventually becomes Batman’s arch-nemesis, doesn’t hit theaters until Oct. 4. But the film has already caused a backlash, with some critics saying its message is dangerous while others continue to staunchly defend it.

Directed by Todd Phillips, Joker strays far from the cartoon villain known for tormenting Batman in the DC Universe comic books. In an origin story which explains the forces that shaped the character, Phoenix plays Arthur Fleck, a lonely man who lives with his mother and for whom life is a revolving door of disappointment, violence and isolation. The lack of love, and a feeling that the world is consistently beating him down, pushes Fleck into crime as he morphs into the murderous, now-iconic villain.

But for some critics, Fleck’s homicidal tendencies—which the movie depicts as having spawned from his sense of being treated badly at at every turn—cut a little too close to reality. In a time when headlines all too frequently report mass shootings and other acts of violence committed by people whose motivations are later tied to anger at the world or specific groups, they argue that giving the Joker such an origin story could encourage misplaced sympathy at best, and violence at worst. Here’s what to know about controversy surrounding the movie.

Critics who saw Joker during its run at the Venice and Toronto film festivals in late August and early September, respectively, have called it “dangerous”, “deeply troubling” and “a toxic rallying cry for self-pitying incels.” In a review that prompted a flood of angry reactions from the movie’s defenders, TIME’s film critic Stephanie Zacharek wrote: “In America, there’s a mass shooting or attempted act of violence by a guy like Arthur practically every other week. And yet we’re supposed to feel some sympathy for Arthur, the troubled lamb; he just hasn’t had enough love.”

Yeah incels are the ones who really should take the blame here. I mean people who complain about “SJW” movies are the ones who are the biggest SJWs themselves. But really you know what people? Just watch the damn movie and take it in before you start shooting your mouth off on social media about how great it is or how much it sucks. I mean have we learned nothing from the Dark Knight Rises?

Every six months or so, there’s a movie that everyone has formed a strong opinion about long before it’s actually released in theaters. This fall, it’s Joker, the Warner Bros. film starring Joaquin Phoenix as the iconic Batman villain. Joker doesn’t officially come out until October 7th, meaning most of the people talking about it haven’t even seen it yet. Yet it has sparked a flurry of debate on topics ranging from gun violence to toxic masculinity to censorship to the Disney company monopoly. Even the U.S. military has weighed in, with a memo leaking earlier this week warning servicemen about credible threats of mass shootings at screenings of the film.

So what, exactly, is it about Joker that has engendered so much controversy? We tried to break it down for you.

Many claim the film is a romanticization of incel culture.
Joker tells the story of Arthur Fleck (Phoenix), a mentally ill aspiring comedian whose rejection by society prompts him to snap and embark on a life of crime. He is also rejected sexually by a single mother (Zazie Beetz) who lives next door to him. This narrative is very similar, in numerous ways, to that of many disenfranchised young white men who become radicalized, or black-pilled, and embark on shooting sprees. And this parallel was not lost on many critics, including Richard Lawson of Vanity Fair, who wrote that the film “may be irresponsible propaganda for the very men it pathologizes. Is Joker celebratory or horrified? Or is there simply no difference?” he asks.

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[font size="8"]This Fucking Guy: Rudy Giuliani
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop!!! A random tweet!

Meanwhile prepare for nuclear Armageddon by buying my industrial grade 10 gallon bucket of mac n cheese! Just perfect for post-apocalypse dining! Guaranteed to last 10 years! Only 2 easy payments of $69.99 each! Spin it again. This Fucking Guy!

This week’s This Fucking Guy is none other than Trump’s own attorney – Rudy Giuliani! Well, they say crime doesn’t pay. But when your administration is full of criminals like the Trump administration is, well does it? Even Trump’s attorneys are criminals. Just look at his rotating cast of players. One crook in the Trump administration who still inexplicably remains is former New York Mayor and current poster boy for divorce lawyers and auditors everywhere, Rudy Guiliani. I mean whew, if you dig into what he’s been up to lately, it is the stuff of pure, 100% Grade A batshit fucking insanity.

House Democrats on Monday subpoenaed President Trump’s private lawyer, Rudolph W. Giuliani, a key figure in their impeachment inquiry, even as the president vowed to learn the identity of the anonymous whistle-blower whose accusations of presidential impropriety toward Ukraine lie at the center of the scandal.

The Giuliani subpoena punctuated another day of confrontation in the capital, rife with accusations by both Democrats in Congress and an increasingly combative president.

“Our inquiry includes an investigation of credible allegations that you acted as an agent of the president in a scheme to advance his personal political interests by abusing the power of the office of the president,” three Democratic House chairmen wrote in a letter to Mr. Giuliani, who has served as Mr. Trump’s personal representative in Ukraine.

Democrats also requested documents and testimony from three of Mr. Giuliani’s associates who are said to be connected to an effort to pressure the Ukrainians into investigating Democratic rivals of Mr. Trump. They promised more subpoenas for other witnesses in the coming days.

Ha ha!!! Yes, Rudy is going down with the sinking GOP ship known as the SS Titanic. But the more you dig into Giuliani’s affairs, the more he is the perfect lawyer to represent Trump. This is the perfect example of that age-old cliché, “how the mighty have fallen”. Because if you remember after 9/11, there was talk that Guiliani was going to succeed Bush as president. Now he’s reduced to watching Youtube clips on his iPad because he can’t buy a TV. Yeah.

Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani was praised for his handling of the attacks on September 11, 2001, but amid divorce proceedings, his wife, Judith Giuliani, criticized him for going from "hero" to "liar."

After 15 years of marriage, the the Giulianis filed for divorce in April. They initially told Page Six they hoped to do it "as amicably as possible," with the former mayor saying there were problems "on both sides."

However, The New York Times reported the couple's divorce has included fights over kitchen renovations, fountain pens, cigars and the dividing of their assets. They also argued over Rudy's income, which has decreased since he left a law firm to work for President Donald Trump pro bono.

Now, the two have a trial date set for January and Judith told The New York Times that court was the only way she could prove his financial worth and receive what she was entitled to.

"I feel betrayed by a man that I supported in every way for more than 20 years," Judith said. "I'm sad to know that the hero of 9/11 has become a liar."

I’m pretty sure that’s live footage of Trump after finding out the predicament that his own private attorney is in. And if this guy is representing Trump, who are the good guys in this equation? Oh that’s right – there aren’t any! So the question remains – just what the hell are they hiding exactly? Well the only way to answer that question is to wait for the whistleblower.

It was another busy afternoon of news for Donald Trump’s associates caught up in the House’s impeachment inquiry.

The Wall Street Journal reported Monday that Secretary of State Mike Pompeo listened in on the phone call between Trump and Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky that triggered the whistleblower complaint at the heart of the matter.

House Democrats on Monday also announced they had subpoenaed Rudy Giuliani for his records related to the call in which Trump asked the country’s president to “look into” his political rival Joe Biden.

Pompeo and Giuliani are both strident defenders of the president, but Giuliani’s unwillingness to stick to careful talking points has placed the two men somewhat at odds. Giuliani, Trump’s lawyer and attack dog who has repeatedly confirmed his own guilt in the Ukraine story while muddling the White House’s messaging, placed some of the blame for the scandal on the State Department. He insisted that he had “40 texts from the State Department asking me to do what I did.” He asserted repeatedly that when he pressured Ukraine to investigate Biden, he was doing so for upright, officially sanctioned reasons. “A President telling a Pres-elect of a well known corrupt country he better investigate corruption that affects US is doing his job,” Giuliani tweeted after one bizarre CNN interview.

Yeah probably. As if that’s not enough that Trump’s fixer and cleaner may have committed treason, they’re knee deep in it! And by the way if you’re looking for the quality of person that Donald Trump associates himself with, just look no further than Rudy Giuliani! I mean all this and he’s got a podcast too, people! Just imagine the shit they will fling on this show!

If you want to know what Rudy Giuliani’s up to behind the scenes — just hang out at the Grand Havana Room cigar bar.

The former mayor was at the stogie spot amid hubbub over his boss’s impeachment, telling pals loudly that he’s launching a new podcast.

President Trump’s personal lawyer was spotted at the Grand Havana Room at 666 Fifth Ave. “holding court with a big crew. Huge smile on his face, laughing. You could literally see CNN and Fox News on the TVs behind him as everything was unfolding,” said a witness.

The podcast would only up Giuliani’s already-ubiquitous media presence. He’s been on the offensive defending Trump from accusations included in a whistleblower’s report that the president repeatedly pressured Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky to cooperate with Giuliani and investigate allegations of corruption against Hunter Biden.

Yeah if everything goes the way we think it will, Giuliani might be sharing a cell with Trump! That’s Rudy Giuliani, this week’s:

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Now entering the spin zone! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! Oh hey it’s another one of our patented clips without context!

Funny, I don’t remember that being part of the party platform! Spin it again! Oh hey it’s time for People Are Dumb!

Of course you know by now that people are people and people are dumb. I always love this segment because there’s plenty of these stories out there, they’re all crazy, and I could just spend all day posting these and talking about stupid people doing stupid things. So I want to start with this story out of Argentina where a couple who ran a Peruvian restaurant. If you’re going to smuggle drugs, maybe don’t do so through easily identifiable containers, like I don’t know, hollowed out dildos! Yes, this is a thing that happened!

Police in Argentina have arrested members of a gang of drug dealers accused of smuggling cocaine hidden inside plastic penises.

The cocaine-loaded members, of the kind found as costume adornments at party shops, were sold by dealers operating in the red light district of the city of La Plata, about 36 miles south of Argentina’s capital city of Buenos Aires.

A video showing 10 of the phallic containers was released by police following a bust on the home of a Peruvian couple alleged to have led the organization.

Police say they seized more than a kilo of cocaine, half a kilo of marijuana and the cocaine-loaded penises at the home of the couple, who managed a Peruvian restaurant called Little Corner of Peruvian Flavor (Rinconcito de sabor peruano).

The gang’s alleged leader was already serving time under house arrest at the moment of the raid.

According to investigators, hours of telephone intercepts revealed that the gang and its clients used special codes for their phone transactions: a “grandmother” represented 10 grammes of cocaine, while a “baby” was five grams.

Ah, I miss Robin Williams. It’s a rocket ship!!! Next up – continuing our international trek through People Are Dumb, we head to the Russian city of Leningrad where a group of grandmas destroyed children’s playground equipment. Yeah sorry Junior but grandma was angry at your sea saw, and well just don’t go outside for a while.

Two women in Russia's Leningrad region have been filmed destroying a children's seesaw after complaining about the noise.

Brandishing a saw, the two women took turns cutting the playground equipment into pieces.

Video of the incident was uploaded to social media network VKontakte on Wednesday, Russian media reports.

Since then, the footage has been shared widely, accumulating hundreds of thousands of views.

According to the regional Russian news service 78 News, the women were acting to help their 100-year-old neighbour, who had been disturbed by the noise.

In the video, residents can be seen remonstrating with the pair as bewildered children look on.

By the way Vandal Grannies, I saw them at the Troubadour last week, awesome band! Next up – back in more familiar territory, America’s most penis shaped state, the state of Florida, always brings the crazy! And what is it about Florida that makes everyone just go fucking batshit crazy everywhere you go? Even the animals are crazy! I just… how does this happen where you are in a position where you get sit on by a camel?

Video surveillance capturing a bizarre encounter at an Iberville Parish truck stop shows a Florida couple trying to retrieve their deaf dog from a camel's enclosure before the startled 600-pound animal responds to the intrusion by sitting on the wife, prompting her to bite its genitalia to free herself. Authorities allege Gloria Lancaster, 68, and Edmond Lancaster, 73, were feeding their unleashed dog some treats near a pen belonging to Caspar the camel before the small pooch slipped under the fence and they crawled in after it. Video footage provided by the truck stop's owner Thursday shows the Pensacola, Florida-area couple not notice their dog stray away until it was on the camel's side of the fence.

The couple told Iberville Parish sheriff's deputies the camel attacked the dog, but the sheriff's office said the couple invaded the camel's space last Wednesday and cited them for trespassing and violating leash laws. Caspar, the largest animal at the roadside menagerie, is used to entertaining hundreds of visitors each week when they pull off Interstate 10 for a rest at the Tiger Truck Stop, 16 miles west of Baton Rouge. But the peculiar attraction has drawn fire from animal rights groups who for years have sought to remove the animals, including a tiger that was euthanized in 2017.

Video surveillance shows the couple appearing to shoo away the camel by swatting it when they tried to get their dog. During the frantic retrieval, the camel turns around and knocks Gloria Lancaster down and then sits on her for several seconds as her husband appears to try moving the massive mammal off her. She told deputies she bit the camel's genitals to free herself, according to witnesses and statements they gave to law enforcement.

"Edmond stated that his wife bit the camels (sic) private parts in desperation to get the camel off of her as it bit him on the left elbow," an affidavit says.

Next up – what happens when you get pulled over by the cops for drug possession? Do you tell them the truth or do you run? Or do you pull what Clint Eastwood did in the Mule and just admit what you did and turn yourself? Oh spoiler alert – shut up! That movie was terrible and it was based on a true story – something you can easily look up using that weird thing called “Google”. Well, you can’t fault this woman for her honesty, at least!

During a traffic stop early Sunday, Jacqueline Hubbard did not hesitate to answer when a Florida cop asked if she “had any drugs on her person.”

The 59-year-old Hubbard, who was in the front passenger seat not wearing a seat belt, reportedly told a patrolman that she was in possession of crack cocaine that was stored in what she called her “felony purse.”

The purse, which was around Hubbard’s neck, contained two crack rocks, a small baggie of cocaine, and two glass crack pipes, according to arrest affidavits.

The contents of the "felony purse" resulted in Hubbard’s bust on two criminal charges: possession of drug paraphernalia, a misdemeanor, and possession of a controlled substance, a felony.

“Felony Purse” by the way – another great band name! Finally this week – another story out of the sunshine state and this one has everything! It has Florida Man, it has Florida Woman, it has fighting, it has potential cop murder, and they got caught doing the nasty. But this is why we do this segment and it has everything that we love about the Sunshine State in one story!

A Florida homeowner found two strangers having sex in her yard Monday afternoon, according to cops who arrested the pair on trespass and indecent exposure charges.

Officers responding to a 911 call confronted the couple around 5 PM as they were lying down in the yard. The suspects, Stephen James Dean, 36, and Teresa Ann Behan, 49, both smelled of alcohol and appeared intoxicated, police reported.

Asked what they were doing at the Margaret Street residence, Behan claimed that “James,” her “music promoter,” lived there. But Dean was more forthcoming, and “spontaneously uttered” that they were having sex in the yard, cops reported.

Dean and Behan were arrested for indecent exposure and trespassing, both misdemeanors. Behan was also charged with a pair of felonies after she allegedly kicked and punched a patrolman. Dean was also hit with a felony for allegedly threatening to kill two Key West cops.

That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Keeping Up With The Candidates Ep.
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Let’s spin the wheel one final time this week! What? Go directly to jail? Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!!

Wait a minute, I've got that get out of jail free card! Sweeeeeeeeet!!! Ha, suck it!! Oh it’s time for Keeping Up With The Candidates!

Welcome back to our 2020 voter’s guide Keeping Up With The Candidates! While we may be a week behind on the news, we’re a year ahead in the polls because after what happened in 2016, we need to jump ahead by keeping track of all of the candidates – the highs, the lows, the drop outs, the senate, local and national candidates, and of course most importantly – the issues! Which is the subject of our guide this week. Now remember that episode of Seinfeld where Jerry went around and was asking people what their stance on abortion was? Well we’re going to pick a few candidates and simply ask – what is your stance on impeachment?

Other strategists said Warren can use the moment to remind voters how strongly she came out on the idea of impeachment, months before the Democratic-led House moved on it.

“She can justifiably take credit for helping lead the charge on impeachment,” said Democratic strategist Eddie Vale. “But then like Elvis she needs to keep taking care of business.”

Biden, for his part, has an opportunity to take the fight to Trump, as the architects of his campaign designed from the beginning.

“Much of how this turns out for Biden depends on him,” said Basil Smikle, who served as the executive director of the New York State Democratic Party. “He’s getting the one-to-one match-up with Trump he wanted when he kicked off his campaign."

“He just needs to show that strength in his interaction with Democratic opponents by deflecting arrows thrown at him and proactively launching some of his own,” Smikle added.

Elizabeth Warren is a solid *FOR* impeachment! I mean you can’t overlook the guy who made fun of your heritage the last 3 years and expect him to get away with it. Next up – Bernie Sanders! Where do you stand on impeachment? “Trump is a member of the upper 1%! He and his rich billionaire cohorts cannot get away with the implications of this crime!”.

Vermont Sen. and Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders spoke Monday about his campaign and about the Republican incumbent, who he called “the most dangerous president in the modern history of this country.”

Sanders was referring, of course, to President Donald Trump, who is facing an impeachment inquiry launched by the Speaker of the House of Representatives.

“It doesn’t give me any pleasure to say this, because it will put the country through another trauma that we don’t need to go through. But I think you have a president who is incredibly corrupt, mostly focused on the needs of his own wealth and his own power. I think that he does not understand the Constitution. I don’t think he understands or respects the rule of law,” Sanders told WCVB during an interview in New Hampshire, where Sanders was campaigning for the second consecutive day.

“He is a racist and a sexist and a xenophobe and a religious bigot,” Sanders said about Trump. “It gives me no pleasure to say this, but this is the truth.”

Count Bernie Sanders as a solid for! “I can’t believe Bernie is for impeachment. I mean he promised free refills on sodas for everybody. That’s socialism! I won’t stand for it!”. We’re pretty sure Trump didn’t say that but we’re also pretty sure that’s what he probably would say since we know he hate watches Saturday Night Live. Next up – Mayor Pete! Mayor Pete, come on down! Where do you stand on impeachment?

Pete Buttigieg is among the Democratic presidential candidates who publicly stated that they supported impeachment proceedings against President Donald Trump.

The mayor of South Bend, Indiana, first joined that chorus during a town hall event in April of 2019. At the time, Buttigieg said that he felt President Trump “deserves impeachment” but did not specifically call on Congress to do it.

But Buttigieg has also reiterated in TV interviews that he believes the only way to remove President Trump from office is to defeat him at the ballot box in 2020. He told MSNBC on September 23, the day before House Speaker Nancy Pelosi announced the beginning of a formal impeachment inquiry, that he did not believe the Republican-controlled Senate would vote to remove him.

Hours after the announcement, Buttigieg spoke about the beginning of the impeachment proceedings with CNN’s Chris Cuomo. “This is a moment of truth for the country. This is a moment of truth for the Republican party. Sooner or later it had to come because any one of these abuses that we’ve seen over recent years, any one of them could have been career-ending for any other president… now, the constitution is kicking in and there’s going to be a process that leads to some sort of accountability.”

Woohoo!!! That’s 3 for 3! Everyone is a solid for so far! Do we need to go any further? No? I think 3 in a row is a pretty solid majority. But how are they handling it where it counts – on the campaign trail? I mean maybe you don’t make it the primary issue. Instead focus on the positive, not the negative, because that is what will win votes!

As House Democrats push forward with their impeachment inquiry of President Trump, the Democratic presidential candidates continue to make their case on the campaign trail — often ignoring the drama in Washington.

A case in point came Monday, in Manchester, New Hampshire, where Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders held a town hall to push his signature Medicare For All plan.

"Despite spending $11,000 for every man, woman and child woman in this country, we have 87 million people who are uninsured or under-insured," Sanders said.

Sanders made just one passing reference to the latest scandal engulfing the president, saying, "I don't want to get into the whole Trump thing." Instead, he stayed focused on his signature proposal, which would do away with private insurance, premiums and co-pays — replacing them with a government-run system.

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

We’re going to Indiana to hang out with the mayor of South Bend, Pete Buttigieg!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Steel Pulse[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is celebrating their 45th year as a band, they have a new album called Mass Manipulation. You can see them on tour through New Year’s, and that stop is at the Belly Up in San Diego. Playing their song “Cry Cry Blood”, give it up for Steel Pulse!!

Thank you Kansas University! We’re taking a short break next week, we’ll be back on October 16th with a brand new edition live from Arizona State! See you in two weeks!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Kansas University Commons, Lawrence, KS
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