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Sat Sep 21, 2019, 01:09 PM

Greetings from Mike Pence's parallel universe. It's Constitution Day at the Heritage Foundation.

Greetings from Mike Pence’s parallel universe.

The vice president is onstage at the Heritage Foundation wearing a permanent squint like he’s auditioning for a Ronald Reagan biopic, as serene as a married man eating a business lunch without a woman in sight.

“On this Constitution Day,” he says, “I’m proud to report that we’ve also been standing strong for the Constitution itself, with the principles of limited government, for the values enshrined in our founding documents.”

In this dimension, the audience knows exactly what Constitution Day is. They celebrate it for an entire week, and without feeling like the country is ricocheting between crises: no impeachment hearings, “urgent” whistleblower complaints about promises made to foreign leaders, or ethical concerns about the military spending big bucks at Trump properties.

In this place, Pence can be as unchanged as the Cool Whip hair he’s had for decades.

“You warned me that the White House has a tendency to turn people prematurely gray,” Pence says to the Heritage crowd. “But, honestly, I haven’t changed a bit.”

Pence’s placid visage is not just an expression; it’s a blueprint.


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