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Wed Aug 14, 2019, 02:25 AM

We Need a Wizard Who Can Appeal to the Moderate Orc Voter

I may be just an ordinary orc, but I wasnít at all surprised when the Dark Lord Sauron became the leader of Mordor. A lot of my smart, liberal friends, though, reacted as if Middle-earth was coming to an end. Dwarves in the barroom of the Prancing Pony said it was the pride of the High Elves. Ravens twittering under the eaves of Mirkwood blamed the cunning of dragons. The Steward of Gondor, posting on FacePalantir, said it was because of Sauronís hatred for the heirs of Isildur.

Iím here to tell you: itís the economy, stupid.

Itís all very well for those of you who dwell in the Shire, the haven of Rivendell, or the quiet forests of Lothlůrien. You live in a bubble. You donít know what life is like for the average orc, in depressed areas like the Trollshaws, the Misty Mountains, or the Dead Marshes. Let me tell you, itís hard out here for an orc. We experience tremendous insecurity, not knowing whether weíll have a job, or be able to raid peaceful villages, or if our friends will eat us. Sauron appeals to us economically challenged goblins because he offers us the chance of a decent wage, respect for our values, and renewed pride in being the corrupted spawn of Morgoth.

If the Free People are going to defeat Sauron, you need to let go of your elitist attitudes and choose someone who can appeal to the moderate orc vote. Thatís why I support Saruman the White to lead the Council of the Wise.

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/we-need-a-wizard-who-can-appeal-to-the-moderate-orc-voter

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Reply We Need a Wizard Who Can Appeal to the Moderate Orc Voter (Original post)
Fozzledick Wednesday OP
Wawannabe Wednesday #1
NurseJackie Wednesday #2
Post removed Wednesday #3
ExciteBike66 Wednesday #4
rictofen Wednesday #6
Volaris Wednesday #5

Response to Fozzledick (Original post)

Wed Aug 14, 2019, 05:01 AM

1. Biden

Got it?

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Response to Wawannabe (Reply #1)

Wed Aug 14, 2019, 05:22 AM

2. Yep!



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Response to Fozzledick (Original post)


Response to Fozzledick (Original post)

Wed Aug 14, 2019, 06:29 AM

4. Skyrim for the Nords!

Build a wall to exclude the rest of Tamriel!

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Response to ExciteBike66 (Reply #4)

Wed Aug 14, 2019, 02:41 PM

6. Heh

I was going to build a wall, but then I took an arrow in the knee.

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Response to Fozzledick (Original post)

Wed Aug 14, 2019, 11:34 AM

5. That's funny heh...

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