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Wed Jul 31, 2019, 05:00 PM

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #7-8: Wheel Of Corruption Reboot Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #7-8: Wheel Of Corruption Reboot Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! What’s up UNC? How you guys doing? You doing fucking good? Great! Hey this is our first time in North Carolina! How about that? And it definitely won’t be the last either. And this is UNC too, you guys are a much respected basketball institution! I always love March Madness, it’s my favorite time of the year. Do we have time for the thing? Of course we do, it’s my show, I make the rules around here! Ok so Woodstock 50 is currently the Fyre Festival of 2019. They have had venue changes, then artists dropped out. Then venues dropped out. I mean you can't have Woodstock 50 at the Merriweather Post Pavilion in Baltimore OK? You can only have Woodstock 50 at Woodstock! Really who are the guys who are organizing this shindig? Because they are failing on every level. Now most of the artists have dropped out including faves like the Racontuers, Miley Cyrus, Jay Z, Dead & Company... really if you're thinking of traveling to a festival this summer, really consider just about anywhere else. You know things are bad when they practically have to give you the tickets. Yes, this is a thing that is happening right now - free tickets to a festival, but it might not be happening! You know when you've lost most of your headliners and your second and third tier acts that it might be time to pack it in. You do at least have to admire the consistency of the guys who are behind it because it might be hanging on by a thread, but they're like the Bruins fans in Game 7 where they're like "Just 3 more goals and we only have 5 minutes left!!!". And then............ BZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!! OK enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to but first John Oliver is back and he discusses England’s new national nightmare that is Prime Minister Boris Johnson:

So where do we begin this week? Well in the number one slot this week is the fallout from the Mueller testimony on Capitol Hill. Remember that whole Russian election interference (1) thing? It might be worse than we ever imagined! In the second slot this week, the UK selected Donald Trump’s literal doppleganger Boris Johnson (2) as their new prime minister. Welcome to your new national nightmare, England!! In the third slot this week is the guy who might be the worst attorney general in US history and that’s Bill Barr (3) who is bringing back the death penalty. In the number 4 slot, is the guy who we currently call president, @realDonaldTrump (4). So where was he on 9/11? We will tell you the truth about where he was, but he keeps making one outrageous claim after another. In the 5th slot this week is our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates (5) and this week you might want to think twice before ordering food from a delivery service after some extremely alarming stats were released. In the number 6 slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit”, and Jesus merches, people! Yes, Kanye West has big plans to convert people, and of course merchandising his famous Sunday sermon, and our resident pastor will weigh the pros and cons of this. In the number 7 slot, we’re going to play a game of “Is It Racist?”, and there’s been more than a few instances of some hardcore racism in the news this week and we’re going to play the hot new game that’s sweeping the nation! In the number 8 slot this week is “NO!”. Look, fuck Jeffrey Epstein, OK? And conspiracy theorists, we’ve all heard your theories about the Clinton Body Count, but really, we don’t need to hear it a thousand times, OK? In the number 9 (NEIN!!!!) slot this week is I Need A Drink. And we’ve got a batshit crazy story to tell you out of the UK – really, this is the kind of story that “I Need A Drink” was made for! Really, fat shaming and some other really weird shit the women’s clothing line is up to is going to drive us to drink! And finally this week our next installment of Keeping Up With The Candidates is going to take a look at a challenger in Minnesota's 5th district - the seat currently held by one of Trump's members of "The Squad" Ilhan Omar, and whew this challenger si crazy. So you’re telling me there’s a chance against Trump? We hope so! Plus to top it off, we’ve got some live music for you from the mighty Death Cab For Cutie! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]SCOTUS
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Hey everyone say it with me: It’s time for the WHEEL OF CORRUPTION! YAY!!!!!

Of course you know the rules by now – I spin the wheel and we have to talk about whatever it lands on. Of course if it lands on the guacamole option, you know that it costs $1.50 extra. So here’s what is on the wheel this week:

- Guns
- Abortion
- Crime
- Poverty
- Elections
- Buy A Vowel
- Sex
- Clip Without Context
- Death
- Greed
- Spying
- Walls
- Food
- Elections
- The Border
- Donald Trump
- Clip Without Context
- Chance
- 5,000
- Bankrupt
- Community Chest
- Top 10 Investigates
- A Random Tweet
- Something Random In The News
- ‘Merica!
- Golf
- 10,000
- Morally Bankrupt
- Guacamole
- Clip Without Context
- Talk Shows
- Holy Shit
- Beating A Dead Horse
- This Fucking Guy
- How Is This Still A Thing?
- Intermission
- 15,000
- People Are Dumb
- Keeping Up With The Candidates
- I Need A Drink
- Infowars
- T-Shirt Cannon
- Lightning Round
- Bonus Spin

So in case you can’t tell we took a page from Kevin Smith and we're rebooting the Wheel Of Corruption for 2019 and going into the 2020 election, look at how much fancier it is! And it’s got digital signage and LED lights around the whole thing, let’s give it up for our props department! And since we are rebooting the Wheel, we’re not going to use bad sequel titles anymore. Starting with the next edition, we are going to be using the names of Prince albums. Because Prince is awesome, bad sequel titles are not. Let’s spin the wheel shall we? And wheel goes round, wheel goes round, and it lands on… A random tweet!!

A conspiracy theorist who hates conspiracy theories? What's next? A donut store owner who hates donuts? Spin it again! Walls! Remember the good old days when Trump said that Mexico was going to pay for the wall?

Now that last clip may be a bit misleading. Nobody enjoys walls unless they have projected images of your poorly recorded Youtube cell phone clips of Metallica playing Enter Sandman on them. And even then the image quality is pretty shaky. But guess what? Mexico may no longer be paying for the wall. But guess who is? That’s right – the United States military!

The Supreme Court on Friday gave President Trump a victory in his fight for a wall along the Mexican border by allowing the administration to begin using $2.5 billion in Pentagon money for the construction.

In a 5-to-4 ruling, the court overturned an appellate decision and said that the administration could tap the money while litigation over the matter proceeds. But that will most likely take many months or longer, allowing Mr. Trump to move ahead before the case returns to the Supreme Court after further proceedings in the appeals court.

While the order was only one paragraph long and unsigned, the Supreme Court said the groups challenging the administration did not appear to have a legal right to do so. That was an indication that the court’s conservative majority was likely to side with the administration in the end.

The court’s four more liberal justices dissented. One of them, Stephen G. Breyer, wrote that he would have allowed the administration to pursue preparatory work but not construction, which he said would be hard to undo if the administration ultimately lost the case.

That must be what Trump thinks a wall is going to do. I think he watches too many Wiley Coyote cartoons. Really in 2019 he should just give it up by now. We’ve been doing this Top 10 thing for almost 4 years now which may seem like an eternity. What I’m getting at – remember when Trump kept boasting on about “promises made, promises kept”? This is one promise that he isn’t keeping. Mexico isn’t paying for the wall, we are!

Environmental groups and House Democrats urged the Supreme Court not to disturb a lower court order blocking the reallocation of military funds for border wall projects.

The Trump administration asked the Supreme Court to put that ruling on hold while litigation continues July 12. Granting that request — called a stay — would give the government an irreversible victory, a coalition of environmentalists led by the Sierra Club warned.

“If a stay is granted and wall construction begins, there will be no turning back,” the green groups told the justices in court papers.

U.S. District Judge Haywood Gilliam barred the administration from using $2.5 billion in military funds for border wall construction. The trial court’s injunctions stalled border barrier construction projects in Arizona and New Mexico.

Now that’s more likely what will happen with the wall! Does Trump not realize that some of the more “undesirable people” that he trashes time and time again have access to our ports and airports and they are more likely to get into our country that way than through Mexico? But is this really a “VICTORY” for Trump? Maybe in the same way that the Mueller report “exonerates” him. Except that it really didn’t.

There were likely big celebrations at the White House Friday night as the Supreme Court gave the green light for the Trump administration to use $2.5 billion in Pentagon funds to build parts of the wall along the Mexican border. In a 5-4 ruling, the court’s conservative justices overturned a lower court decision and said the administration could begin using the money while the case proceeds.

Even though the ruling was only one paragraph long, the conservative justices hinted pretty clearly they would likely side with the administration in the future by saying that those challenging the White House use of the funds didn’t seem to have a right to do so. On the opposite end, three of the four more liberal justices on the court—Justices Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Sonia Sotomayor, and Elena Kagan—said they would have blocked the funds for now. Justice Stephen Breyer, meanwhile, said he would have allowed preparatory work but not actual construction that would be difficult to undo if the White House lost the case further down the line.

The decision overturns a lower court decision that said the funds could not be transferred out of the Pentagon while the legal challenges were ongoing. The move marks a turning point for a case that really originated after dispute over wall funding led to the longest partial government shutdown in history. The shutdown ended in February when Congress agreed to give the administration $1.4 billion in wall funding, which was far less than the $5.7 billion the White House was seeking. Trump then declared a national emergency that would allow him to use money from other parts of the government. That’s when the ACLU sued on behalf of two advocacy groups, the Sierra Club and Southern Border Communities Coalition, to stop the use of the funds.

Does the party that claims to support the troops and the USA as much as they do not realize that they just greatly fucked over the military by doing this? Sorry folks, we’re $2.5 billion short, we can’t afford the body armor or necessary equipment needed to stay alive. You’re on your own. So what does the military think of this? Well…

Announcing a new two-year budget deal, President Trump noted that “real compromise” was necessary to “give another big victory to our Great Military.” A day later, the president claimed the U.S. armed forces were “almost totally rebuilt from the depleted military I took over.” Unfortunately, that’s not true. While the deal avoids a worst-case scenario for the Pentagon—$71 billion in immediate, mandatory cuts under the 2011 Budget Control Act—it still does not adequately fund the Defense Department’s 2018 National Defense Strategy. History will remember the Trump administration’s defense policy for helping to repair military readiness, but not for rebuilding and modernizing the military as President Reagan did.

The White House’s 2017 National Security Strategy directs the U.S. military to regain its edge against China and Russia, even as it continues to deter Iran and North Korea and keep jihadist terrorists at bay. In total, the strategy demands a robust military posture in three major theaters: Europe, East Asia and the Middle East. But the proposed budget, even with the repeal of the Budget Control Act through 2021, falls short of the funding the military needs to carry out the strategy with confidence.

Consider the chasm between the current U.S. military and the stated requirements for force structure, readiness and modernization, all of which were validated by the independent, bipartisan National Defense Strategy Commission.

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[font size="8"]Boris Johnson

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Let’s hit the spin cycle! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… STOP!!! And it lands on… Oh hey it’s a clip without context!

Wait until you see what Tom Morello really thinks about Trump and Qanon! Seriously, STFU. Spin it again! Elections! Folks, for this story we’re going to head across the pond to our good friends in England. Of course you know by now that England has elected Trump’s *LITERAL* doppleganger Boris Johnson as their new prime minister which follows the exact same pattern set by Russia’s James Bond villain Vladimir Putin – rise in hate, rise in white supremacy and neo Nazism, increased violence… yup, it’s a shit show. So how bad is it in England right now?

Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s first appearance in Scotland as Britain’s new leader seemed to be going just fine on Monday when he spoke from behind the perimeter fence of a top security naval base.

But when he braved the streets of Edinburgh to meet with Scotland’s first minister at her residence, a crowd met him with a chorus of jeers and boos.

He left by the back door.

If Mr. Johnson’s bumbling, upper-class persona goes down well in many parts of England, it tends to have the opposite effect in Scotland.

After all, in Mr. Johnson’s rush to leave the European Union — he has vowed a Brexit, deal or no deal, by Oct. 31 — he has been accused of jeopardizing the much older union that he leads: England, Scotland, Northern Ireland and Wales. Even before his trip to Edinburgh, his adversaries warned that he could become the last prime minister of the United Kingdom.

Nowhere have the warnings been more loudly heard than in Scotland, where a majority rejected leaving the European Union in 2016; where a movement for Scottish independence from the United Kingdom goes back decades; and where the first minister, Nicola Sturgeon, has called for a new referendum on leaving the United Kingdom, and is waiting to see whether Brexit brings that objective closer.

You know what the biggest difference between Trump and Johnson is? They may look the same, but Johnson at least recognizes that he’s a bumbling buffoon! And that makes him scarier than Trump any day of the week, because Trump, 3 ½ years into this nightmare, still does not even come close to recognizing that!

The prime minister has said it is "up to the EU, this is their call" if the UK leaves the EU without a deal.

Boris Johnson made his first visit to Wales as PM on Tuesday, seeking support from farmers for his Brexit plans.

He held talks with Wales' First Minister Mark Drakeford, who said there was a "deeply concerning lack of detail" from the new prime minister.

Mr Johnson said: "We're not aiming for a no-deal Brexit, we don't think that's where we'll end up."

"This is very much up to our friends and partners across the channel," he added.

A Welsh farmer called on Mr Johnson to stop "playing Russian roulette" with the lamb industry over the threat of a no-deal Brexit.

So Brexit, 3 years in continues to be the shit show that everyone knows it is. And now that Theresa May is gone and Boris Johnson is in, it’s gonna get a whole lot worse. Really, at this point you’re probably better off just saying “fuck it” and getting out as fast as possible. But we all know there was no goal with this thing, the only thing was chaos and disorder.

For much of the past two and a half years, the U.K. has had the luxury of negotiating the terms of its departure from the European Union under little pressure from the financial markets. The new prime minister Boris Johnson could soon come to pine for those calmer days.

On Monday sterling fell by more than 1.3% to $1.22, hitting its lowest point against the dollar since March 2017. It resumed its slide on Tuesday and is heading for its worst slump in almost three years. Johnson has made it clear that Britain will quit the EU at the end of October even if this means leaving without a negotiated agreement. He has also stepped up preparations for a “no-deal Brexit” to try to convince Brussels that Britain is not bluffing about its willingness to accept such a fate. Investors are letting “BoJo” know what they think of his plan.

This isn’t the first time markets have moved violently because of Brexit. In the immediate aftermath of the 2016 referendum, the pound lost more than 10% against the dollar. Sterling slid again in the autumn of that year when the former prime minister, Theresa May, signaled that she wouldn’t wait long before starting the withdrawal process. But it stabilized subsequently when markets were reassured that her government and parliament were looking for an orderly withdrawal. In April of 2018, the pound briefly touched the dizzying heights of $1.434 (only 3.6% lower than before the referendum).

Well, calling Brexit a bomb is well, an insult to bombs. Really, we are heading for a world where all governments will be at war and fighting each other over petty bullshit. Like Brexit. We are electing bumbling leaders. People are getting to where they hate each other. And now we have not one but two Trumps in the world. They are multiplying! And that’s not a good thing!

It was just after 8:30 p.m., and Boris Johnson was with a group of about 20 politicians and donors at a private dinner in central London. At the time—June 6, 2018—Britain was mired in what seemed like an unending Brexit deadlock, and Johnson, then the country’s foreign secretary, was unhappy with the way Prime Minister Theresa May was handling it.

Away from the public glare, among friends and allies, he let his real feelings spill out.

“Imagine Donald Trump doing Brexit,” Johnson said, according to an audio recording published by BuzzFeed News the following day. “He’d go in bloody hard. There’d be all sorts of breakdowns, all sorts of chaos. Everyone would think he’d gone mad. But actually you might get somewhere.”

Implicit in Johnson’s assessment was a damning verdict on May’s cautious handling of the negotiations to take Britain out of the European Union. Yet a year on, having now unseated May as prime minister, Johnson’s comments may also have been crucial in cementing his place in the U.S. president’s mind as a brother-in-arms across the Atlantic. That in 2015, as London mayor, Johnson publicly criticized Trump as “out of his mind” and “unfit to hold the office of president of the United States” appears to have mattered little. To Trump, the leaked private praise is what has stuck—the surest path to Trump’s affection being arrant flattery. The American leader has more recently rewarded Johnson with rare praise for a British politician, calling him “tough” and “smart,” and the pair, in their first conversation since Johnson became prime minister, have extolled the possibilities of bolstering economic ties.


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[font size="8"]Bill Barr
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Let’s spin it again! And it lands on… sweet, I win 10,000. Of something. I still don’t know what that 10,000 could be. It’s not money because I would be saying “see you later”. All right, spin it again! and it lands on… DEATH!!! DUN DUN DUN!!!! Yes we got to talk about the death penalty for this one because there’s some things that should be just left to the dust bin of history. And the death penalty is one of those things. In most countries it’s a human rights violation and it’s considered to be a cruel and unusual punishment measure. But not in Trump’s America. Nope, they’re bringing it back. Just like that rats’ nest that you fished out of your basement, they’re coming back for a second helping. Because we’re not infected enough already as it is. So what is happening?

Why should we be concerned about U.S. Attorney General Bill Barr's proposal last week to resume federal executions for some particularly horrendous crimes? Because there's no reason to believe that the flaws that originally cast doubt on capital punishment have become less of an issue.

In his announcement of resumed executions, Barr focuses on "bringing justice to victims of the most horrific crimes." He wants to begin with prisoners "convicted of murdering, and in some cases torturing and raping, the most vulnerable in our society—children and the elderly."

There's no doubt that we're discussing horrific acts. But can we be sure that we've arrested, tried, and convicted the actual perpetrators?

The proportion of death row inmates executed to those set free isn't exactly encouraging. Since 1972, 1,500 people have been executed in the United States. Over that same time, "166 former death-row prisoners have been exonerated of all charges and set free," according to the Death Penalty Information Center.

Hopefully we won’t be seeing the appearance of the electric chair anytime soon. So why is the Trump administration so eager to bring back executions? Well he is most likely getting advice from his buddies Putin and Duterte – who have killed, jailed and executed their political opponents. Could that happen in the US? Well, we at least have safeguards on that sort of thing. And don’t tell Trump that because we really don’t want to give him any more ideas!

The cruelty is the point. That’s both the defining phrase of Donald Trump’s presidency and the title of arguably the defining essay about our 30-month-and-counting national nightmare, written by the Atlantic’s Adam Serwer. His piece last October made clear the silliness of wondering why Trump’s government doesn’t do things like build more humane facilities for immigrants detained on the border — because the pictures of “human dog pounds” are in fact the goal and the basis of his political appeal, a viciousness toward The Other that erupts at his rallies in chants like “Send her back!”

“Taking joy in that suffering is more human than most would like to admit,” Serwer wrote. “Somewhere on the wide spectrum between adolescent teasing and the smiling white men in the lynching photographs [from the late 1800s and early 1900s] are the Trump supporters whose community is built by rejoicing in the anguish of those they see as unlike them, who have found in their shared cruelty an answer to the loneliness and atomization of modern life.”

The cruelty is the point is also the first thought that popped in my head Friday when I saw the news flash that Attorney General William Barr — increasingly known as “Trump’s Roy Cohn” in his willingness to ruthlessly do his president’s bidding — had seemingly out-of-the-blue decided to bring back executions of death-sentenced federal prisoners. My second thought was: What took the American Caligula so long to bring back the spectacle of executions to electrify the masses (but not the prisoners ... they’d be lethally injected) and juice his 2020 re-election campaign? Indeed, the five executions are scheduled around the Christmas holiday, presumably to remind us of its pagan roots.

Now that is cruel! And cruelty is the name of the game. It doesn’t get much crueler than a lot of the methods currently used for executions in this country. Getting executed in America – a country that embraces deregulated capitalism – is fucking horrifying. Even the Catholics – who traditionally lauded this sort of corporal punishment – are against bringing it back.

Washington D.C., Jul 30, 2019 / 10:15 am (CNA).- Catholic leaders have condemned the federal government’s announcement last week that it will resume of executions after an almost two decade-long hiatus.

“I am deeply concerned by the announcement of the United States Justice Department that it will once again turn, after many years, to the death penalty as a form of punishment,” said Bishop Frank Dewane of Venice, Florida, chair of the U.S. bishops’ domestic justice and human development committee, in a statement released July 30.

Attorney General William Barr on July 25 announced that executions of federal death-row inmates would resume for the first time since 2003, with five executions scheduled for December 2019 and January 2020.

“Under Administrations of both parties, the Department of Justice has sought the death penalty against the worst criminals, including these five murderers, each of whom was convicted by a jury of his peers after a full and fair proceeding,” said Barr, who is a practicing Catholic and a member of the Knights of Columbus.

Yeah I’m not sure that if I were on death row I’d want Chief Wiggum conducting my execution. And I’m not sure that I would want Trump or Barr conducting it either. And if you think that’s bad, wait until you see who he plans to execute. Really it can’t get much more horrifying than this. Although in all honesty, child killers definitely deserve it.

No one on federal death row has been executed since 2003, but on Thursday, William P. Barr, the attorney general, announced that the government was resuming executions, starting with five men convicted of killing children.

The men, whose ages range from 37 to 67, have each been convicted of heinous crimes, and together have been involved in the slayings of 13 victims. The cases fell under federal jurisdiction because of how or where they were carried out.

[Mr. Barr’s decision runs counter to a broad national shift away from the death penalty as public support for it has dwindled.]

All five are being held at a high-security federal prison in Terre Haute, Ind., where their executions are set for December and January. More executions will be scheduled, the Justice Department said in a statement. There are 62 people who are facing death sentences, according to the Bureau of Prisons, including the five whose execution dates were announced Thursday.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… Donald Trump!!

Yes, just like the wall, Trump has made tons of tasteless comments about 9/11. Spin it again! And it lands on… oh hey, Trump again!! Well it is a wheel, it does have a finite number of items on it. But really that last clip was important because we have to talk about where our current president, Donald J. Trump, really was on 9/11. Because Trump as we have come to know on this program, lies all the time, and there isn’t a second of the day where he doesn’t brag about something that he did. And since he signed into law the 9/11 first responders bill, he’s turned around and made 9/11 all about himself.

Donald Trump’s rhetoric about 9/11 has always been … how do I put this gently … problematic. The day of the attacks, for example, the future president seemed principally focused on how the destruction of the Twin Towers affected his ability to boast about the height of one of his nearby properties.

As a candidate in 2016, Trump frequently referenced the 9/11 attacks, though as the Washington Post reported at the time, “[S]everal of Trump’s statements about what he witnessed that day appear to be greatly exaggerated or false.”

That includes an incident in which the New York Republican claimed he helped clear rubble and search for survivors in the aftermath of the terrorism, and another incident in which he falsely said he watched people jump from the World Trade Center.

As a rule, lying about 9/11 is the sort of thing that can cause trouble for a politician, though Trump ended up winning anyway.

All of this became relevant anew this morning, when Trump hosted a signing ceremony for a bill on the 9/11 Victim Compensation Fund, which recently passed the House and Senate, despite modest and inconsequential Republican opposition. The president was never especially invested in the fate of the legislation, but he did agree to sign it, which is great news for the affected first responders and their families.

Yeah I’m pretty sure that the 9/11 first responders would love to tell you where you can stick that thumb, and it ain’t pretty. So remember a couple of weeks ago when we asked about how the 9/11 first responders bill was still a thing? Well it turns out that Trump wasn’t exactly a fan. In fact he used the same logic that current Biggest Douche In The Universe Rand Paul does – wasteful government spending.

President Donald Trump on Monday signed legislation to help 9/11 first-responders and the families of ones who died from health complications, even though the New Yorker and his administration never publicly got behind the bill.

Aides contend the president chose to push for “yea” votes behind the scenes.

Trump, a Queens native who set up shop in Manhattan as an adult and real estate executive, weighs in on a range of issues, whether in person or on Twitter. Sometimes he inserts himself into Capitol Hill debates and legislative efforts, making things difficult for lawmakers trying to pass bills.

But as former “Daily Show” host Jon Stewart grabbed headlines and cable news time for his advocacy of the legislation on Capitol Hill, Trump opted against getting publicly involved — even with $10.2 billion in aid over a decade on the line.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! So Trump goes there, and he’s only doing this to stick it to us, because that’s all they’re good for. And not only is he making this outrageous claim about where he was on 9/11, he’s doubling down on his stupidity!

Donald Trump bloody loves New York. He loves it! Remember that video of the presidential Trumpcopter heading toward the Big Apple to the strains of 'New York, New York'? He loves New York so flaming much.

Now he's had the chance to tell some of New York's most revered citizens how much he gets them. Thanks in large part to the advocacy of former The Daily Show host and general good egg Jon Stewart, the 9/11 Victim Compensation Fund was extended by Trump at the weekend, meaning the people who were first on the scene to help attempt to find survivors.

"I was down there also, but I'm not considering myself a first responder," Trump told the actual first responders gathered at the White House for the ceremonial signing. "But I was down there. I spent a lot of time down there with you."

Very big of you, pal. Is that... true though? It's extremely hard to get any confirmation that Trump went down to Ground Zero and "spent a lot of time down there" with the first responders who were actually clearing the rubble, which is what he seems to be implying here.

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Door Dash Tipping
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Now entering the spin cycle! And it lands on… come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop!!! And it lands on… intermission!

OK we’re back! Spin it again! Oh hey it’s time for Top 10 Investigates!

It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

Delivery services like Doordash, Postmates, and Uber Eats are becoming increasingly more popular due to the fact that they offer quick and easy service and you don’t have to leave the house. But before you hit that “order” button, there’s things you should know about your favorite meal delivery service. The main thing being that companies like Door Dash are coming under increased scrutiny for how they handle things like wages and tips. But it’s also shedding some light as to how delivery services and delivery drivers are being treated in this country. Here’s more.

You have to feel sorry for Tony Xu, CEO of DoorDash. The food delivery company has been a darling of the VC world, but it encountered a backlash after a New York Times story described how the company keeps most of the tips customers intended for its delivery workers.

Outrage was heaped upon DoorDash, with lawmakers calling for investigations and new regulations. Finding himself at the center of a media and social media storm, Xu did the sensible thing and announced via Twitter that DoorDash would change its policy and give deliverers 100 percent of their tips.

Hooray, you might say, and many have. But you'd be wrong. All the righteous ire about DoorDash keeping tips ignores the broader truth that the way service people are paid in our society is deeply unfair. DoorDash was simply making an honest, and possibly effective, attempt to compensate for it.

Workers who deliver takeout by bicycle or car for companies like DoorDash or Postmates or Grubhub generally don't earn much. Neither the minimum wage nor the lower tipped minimum wage applies to them because they're independent contractors rather than employees. That means these companies are free to set pay for deliveries as low as they like, the only limitation being people's unwillingness to work for an amount that's too low. Indeed, as more people signed up to deliver and the pool of available workers grew, these companies--under pressure to become profitable--have cut back on what they pay deliverers.

So thanks to our country’s reckless policies on wages and tips, companies like Door Dash are stuck on what to do as far as paying their drivers. And this is proving to be a challenge as their model is not based on hourly wages. But is it necessarily the problem of Door Dash themselves? Or is it the problem of a far more reaching problem>

DoorDash dominated more of the news cycle than it should have this week, after an NYT article brought broad awareness to its idiosyncratic policy on tips. The company would give its "dashers" a guaranteed minimum fee for delivering food; that minimum included any tips. The result was that most tips ended up going to DoorDash rather than to the delivery workers.

Driving the news: After defending the policy as recently as last month, DoorDash CEO Tony Xu backtracked on Tuesday, tweeting, "Going forward, we’re changing our model - the new model will ensure that Dashers’ earnings will increase by the exact amount a customer tips on every order."

The big picture: Americans encounter disaggregated prices every day. Retailers operate under a convention that prices exclude sales tax, so it's never entirely clear how much something is going to cost in total.

The implicit convention is that disaggregated prices reflect real-world allocations. Sales taxes go to the government; tips go to servers. The DoorDash backlash came because it violated that convention and effectively kept customers' tips for itself.
Ticketmaster catches flack for similar reasons. The various fees it tacks on seem fake, designed primarily to hide just how much tickets really cost.
Buying a car from a dealership is an experience fraught with countless fees and taxes, all of which inflate the total cost of the vehicle far above its headline price.

So car dealers, ticket brokers, and other agencies do the same thing as Door Dash, Uber Eats, and Postmates. How do they get away with it? Well transparent pricing has been a tricky subject since the dawn of e-commerce and commerce in general. Yes, that is a really big broad brush that we are painting here. So just how bad is your favorite delivery driver getting screwed out of the deal?

Food delivery companies are under increased scrutiny over how some worker tips contribute to their base pay. Now some are backtracking on their controversial policies.

DoorDash is the latest service to revisit its tipping policies following a New York Times report that put the issue once again in the spotlight. A reporter spent time as a delivery person and showed how customer tips contribute to worker pay, a policy in place since 2017.

In response to the article’s backlash, DoorDash CEO Tony Xu tweeted that the policy would change going forward and Dashers’ earnings would increase by the exact amount a customer tips.

“We thought we were doing the right thing by making Dashers whole when a customer left no tip. What we missed was that some customers who did tip would feel like their tip did not matter,” he tweeted.

The debate over the role tips play in a person’s income isn’t new but has been amplified by the gig economy, which is under increasing criticism for its treatment of workers, and how well they are paid. Food delivery companies also face pressure to keep costs low as they seek to go public or become profitable. For businesses desperate to improve their finances, tips are an enticing pot of money.

Well, we need less George Costanzas in the world and we need more people to pay their tips to their drivers. And how exactly is Door Dash taking this? It’s not exactly taking this how one would call “seriously”. And by seriously, we mean fat chance. In fact wage theft is not only common place in companies like that, it’s a common theme throughout the food industry.

Food delivery app DoorDash has, for months, doubled down on its policy of systematically skimming customer tips meant for its fleet of contract delivery workers. That resolve cracked on Tuesday night when CEO Tony Xu took to Twitter to announce some unspecified changes to its compensation model.

Here’s how it worked. DoorDash offers its delivery drivers a guaranteed payout for each order, upfront—a flat $1 per order plus additional compensation calculated by some kind of malign algorithm. So if a driver is told they’ll make $8 upfront for an order, they’ll always receive at least $8. But if the customer receiving that order gave the driver a $4 tip, DoorDash would treat it as a credit towards the originally guaranteed $8, meaning the driver would still only get $8. The only circumstance in which a customer’s tip would actually go to the driver is if it was very generous.

In other words, DoorDash customers were essentially conned into tipping DoorDash, not the driver. This is vaguely similar to the tipped model for many restaurant employees across the country who have tips applied towards a portion of their minimum wage standard, except abstracted through an app and imposed on a contract workforce with few labor protections. Most restaurants also didn’t have an estimated valuation of $7.1 billion in February 2019.

That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Let’s spin it to win it!!! Oh hey look it’s a clip without context!

Really? The most racist senator in the world switched parties and somehow became less racist? Shut up. And look at that suit - is he peddling conspiracy theories or auditioning to be in a barber shop quartet? Thank you! Spin it again! Oh hey it’s time for Holy Shit!

Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of Austin! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation!!! Today we are going to answer a question that is as old as time itself – is it OK to monetize the good LAWRD JAYSUS? And by monetize, I mean merchandise! Yes, that is where the real money is made. It’s all about the merchandise and the bling bling! Well, our brother Kanye is looking to make some money off his recent venture into religion. And what would JAYSUS say about that? well, JAYSUS merchandises himself that’s what! I mean he is the world’s greatest salesman! People say that Kanye West is the greatest hip hop musician of all time. So why is Kanye trying to be among the godliest among us? Well, he is friends with the unholy Dark One, who claims to be a man of GAWD, so why not?

Kanye West is taking the fashion industry to church.

On July 19, West reportedly applied to trademark the phrase “Sunday Service,” a reference to his series of invite-only, sermon-like concerts. The application was filed by Mascotte Holdings, Inc., the rapper’s intellectual property holding company. Should his application be approved, he will be able to produce Sunday Service bottoms, tops, dresses, headwear, footwear, jackets, loungewear, scarves, shirts, and socks.

Beginning on the first Sunday in January, West’s church-inspired gospel performances, called Sunday Service, have garnered media attention for their spectacle and religious ambiguity. In an April appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, the Kardashian sisters awkwardly stumbled through questions about Kanye’s Sunday Service. Kim rebuffed Kimmel’s description of the experience as church, explaining, “We didn’t really have a name for it because it is more of a healing experience.”

Khloe expanded on the difference between a house of God and the House of West. “We have so many friends that maybe feel a little too judgmental when they go to church,” she said. “When they come here, they feel so free and safe.” According to Kim, there is no praying, though Kourtney definitively clarified, “It is Christian.” With a smirk, she added, “They sing ‘Jesus Walks,’” referring to West’s 2004 hit song endorsing Christianity.

Why yes, yes it does good sir!!! So what we’re asking this week – is it OK to make a profit off the Almighty LAWRD? Well, we do. I mean you bought tickets to our low-rent dog and pony Sunday service! Sure, we don’t have the budget that Kanye does or do we have his influence. But we do have the good LAWRD JAYSUS on our side! So why is Hollywood getting into the JAYSUS game? Because, hipster churches, that’s why!

This week, thousands of teenagers and twentysomethings mustered excitedly about London’s O2 Arena eagerly anticipating the evening’s entertainment. Sporting tattoos and scantily dressed in the summer heat, they might have been queuing for any pop concert. Instead, it was to meet an evangelical church pastor.

Inside the arena, a packed audience, nearly 15,000-strong, cheered breakdancers, rap artists and rock guitarists all espousing the worship of God. And then, at the moment of maximum rhapsody, out strode Hillsong’s lead pastor and founder Brian Houston, wearing a red checkered blazer and declaring: “Jesus, what a beautiful sight…”

As the 65-year-old Australian preached, those in the exultant crowd closed their eyes and raised their arms to the lights. One teenage boy in a tracksuit opposite me wiped a tear away from his cheek.
Brian Houston, the founder and lead pastor of the Hillsong movement
Brian Houston, the founder and lead pastor of the Hillsong movement Credit: Jeff Gilbert

Chances are you may not have heard of Hillsong, an evangelical movement founded by Brian and his wife, Bobbie Houston, in Sydney in 1983. Now spanning more than 15 countries, its mega-churches are the centre of the fastest-growing religious movement in the world: Pentecostalism, which boasts more than 500m adherents.

Well I feel like Kanye does have that kind of power, bro! It’s about information, and JAYSUS. But hey maybe that’s how we get more viewers for the Holy Church Of The Top 10. Let’s get rappers and skateboarders here and have a charismatic con artist play the preacher. Well I do sort of play that part already! But so… is Kanye trying to sell a show based on his Sunday sermon or not? I’m not gonna lie, kind of want to see this thing.

Kim Kardashian has responded to claims that Kanye West is trying to ‘sell’ his Sunday Service as a TV show and it looks like it won’t be coming to screens any time soon. The Keeping Up With the Kardashians star has been keeping fans in the loop with Kanye’s church services most Sundays since earlier this year, with more celebrities attending each week.

The Gold Digger rapper even managed to perform at this year’s Coachella on an actual mountaintop. A source recently claimed that Kanye had been pitching Sunday Service as a TV series but Kim says there are currently no plans to broadcast. Responding to the reports in a tweet, Kim simply stated: ‘Not true.’ Radar Online had previously said that Kanye was ‘extremely passionate about his faith’ and wanted to ‘share it more regularly with people’.

‘Say what you want about Kanye, but he really does want to help people who need support.’ They added: ‘He understands brokenness and the need for healing, probably more than most people. ‘He believes in the healing powers of music, but also believes that God can step in and heal people’s brokenness and their issues.’

Read more: https://metro.co.uk/2019/07/04/kim-kardashian-responds-claims-kanye-west-trying-sell-sunday-service-tv-show-10114115/?ito=cbshare

You know if there’s one thing a good televangelist understands, it’s not that they want to help people, because televangelists don’t do that. You know what a good televangelist understands? He understands the power of the almighty dollar! Can I get an amen??? And there’s no one better for that than Kanye is, because he understands the power of the almighty dollar! After all, he is married to Kim Kardashian! And here’s where the money making side comes in!

The 'Bound 2' rapper is keen to launch his own religious organisation based on his weekly concerts, which he calls Sunday Service, and has reportedly bought a plot of land near his home in Los Angeles so that he can build "pods" for his followers to stay in for a "few weeks at a time" while they focus on his new modern faith.

A source told The Sun newspaper: "Kanye wants to develop a Church which introduces a new way to celebrate faith, bringing religion into the 21st century.

"His faith is massively important to him and he thinks this is the way to engage young people. He thinks it will surpass Hillsong, which has churches in 21 countries and is hugely popular in Los Angeles with the likes of Justin Bieber.

"He wants to build temporary habitable pods where followers of his church can live for a few weeks at a time. They are insanely intricate and expensive but it would give ease of access for his Sunday Service."

And the 42-year-old star's new idea will no doubt go down well with his wife Kim Kardashian West as she recently praised his weekly service and said the musical gathering is intended to be healing for the participants, rather than "preaching."

There it is folks, modern church isn’t about money making it’s about the almighty dollar! And Kanye is a better kind of preacher! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Is It Racist?
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Let’s spin the wheel and see where it lands shall we? Wheel goes round, wheel goes round, wheel goes round! And it lands on... CHANCE!!!

What? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Crap, I have to give this next entry from a jail cell. Spin it again!!! Racism! Hey everyone it’s time to play the new game that’s sweeping the nation!

Yes, is it racist? Well, probably. There’s lots of talk of racism in the last few weeks, especially coming from that filthy mouth of the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump. Well, we’re not going to cover *HIS* racism since we already covered that. Instead, we’re going to cover racism that is either directly inspired by him or is a product of him. I want to start with this story out of North Carolina where a woman went and said some extremely racist stuff in a crowded restaurant. And then not only that, doubled down on her racist statements. Yes, we’re calling her a racist because she is a racist.

A North Carolina woman says she is not sorry for using the n-word in a confrontation with two black restaurant customers that went viral.

“I would say it again,” Nancy Goodman tells WRAL. Goodman, a 71-year-old white woman, claims her “tremendous anxiety” propelled her actions toward the other patrons, Chanda Stewart and Lakesha Shaw, at a Bonefish Grill in Raleigh on Tuesday night.

The two women say Goodman called them rude and said they were being too loud. Stewart, annoyed by the remarks, began recording Goodman on her cellphone while recounting the situation. She later posted the video on her Facebook page, where it has now accrued more than 200,000 views.

“We’re paying for our food just like everybody else, and she told us we are the rudest people,” Stewart says in the video.

Goodman is seen waving and smiling to the camera. She then pulls out her own phone and makes her way toward the women again.

Hey look, we get rude people in a restaurant, nobody likes that, but when you start calling someone racist slurs, you’re the asshole! Thank you! But here’s the worst part of this whole incident – she’s doubling down on the whole thing! Seriously, what is wrong with people right now? It’s absolutely insane. And really fuck these people.

A white woman who berated two black women at a North Carolina restaurant with a racial slur said she is not sorry and that she would say it again.

Nancy Goodman was caught on video directing the N-word at the women during a confrontation at a Bonefish Grill in North Hills, North Carolina, after Goodman accused them of being too loud. Goodman told NBC-affiliate WRAL Wednesday that she should have handled the situation differently, but that she wasn't sorry.

"I’m not going to say I’m sorry to them because they kept pushing at it," Goodman said. "I would say it again to them. They are the rudest individuals I have ever seen."

The two women, Chanda Stewart and Lakesha Shaw, said they were enjoying their dinner when Goodman called them rude and complained that they were being too loud. Stewart posted a video of the confrontation on Facebook, where Goodman notices that she was being recorded and smiles widely before approaching the table to tell them they were loud.

Gee, you’re just now coming to that conclusion? Seriously, America has always been racist. The only difference is that for the first 241 years, America has kept its’ racism hidden. That includes the god damn Civil War that was fought over racism. Now since 2017, we have a big fat billionaire who is a very openly racist president! And guess what? Our racism is infecting other countries too. Let’s check in with our neighbors to the north for this story.

Through tears streaming down her face and her voice breaking, Carol Pickering says the racial discrimination she encountered at CFB Halifax and 12 Wing Shearwater "really almost did me in."

Carol Pickering's career as a storesperson with the Department of National Defence ended much sooner than she expected.

Pickering, who is black, claims persistent racism she suffered in the workplace over a three-year period forced her to walk away from DND in 2014 after a 31-year career.

"The worst thing that ever happened to me (at DND) was receiving a letter from the major threatening my job, threatening my livelihood," Pickering said in an interview. "That was terrible.

"And it was Friday afternoon and it was four scanned pages of how I had to change my conduct and I had to, that I had to ... I had to be better. I had to assimilate is what it felt like to me."

Seriously, put down the crack pipe man! That was extremely racist! And if this was extremely racist, check out these racist products! And here’s the thing if you’re shopping for dolls in the one dollar zone, maybe don’t be surprised that you will find something racist. But then again, you’re shopping at a store that’s literally called One Dollar Zone. They say these dolls are meant to “chill you out” but… eh, we’ll let you be the judge!

The dolls say they're meant to help you chill out.

Instead, the black rag doll that implores people to grab it firmly by the legs and "find a wall to slam" it against has enraged customers who call it racist.

Whether picked up by children or used by adults to de-stress, New Jersey state legislator Angela McKnight said, the "Feel Better Doll" has no place in any store.

McKnight visited a One Dollar Zone store in Bayonne and found the toy "offensive and disturbing on so many levels."

"It is clearly made in an inappropriate representation of a black person and instructs people to 'slam' and 'whack' her," McKnight wrote in a statement on Facebook. "Racism has no place in the world and I will not tolerate it, especially not in this district."

The dolls are made of black fabric and feature yarn hair of red, yellow, black and green and a white smile. McKnight said the instructions, which are stitched onto the doll's front, encourage violence.

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[font size="8"]NO!!!!!!!!!!
[br] [/font]

I’m out!!! Let’s spin it to win it!!!! And the wheel lands on… oh hey look it’s a clip without context!

Oh come on, now you guys are calling Mr. Rodgers a pedophile? Seriously, I think even Jesus has given up at this point. Spin it again! And it lands on… NO!

Look, I’m not saying that just because Jeffrey Epstein got “suicided” while he was in jail does not mean that we need a Clinton conspiracy theory about everything! Yeah, so the next time America’s collective creepy uncles tweet that shit out, we need to tell them, “NO!!!!”. And seriously, it wasn’t cute or funny the first time, what makes you think we’re going to enjoy it the 10,000th time? At this point, everyone else is disgusted and creeped out. And conservatives wonder why their shit doesn’t get posted to the top of social media sites and search engines. We’ve heard it already!! You are not bringing anything new to the table!

On Wednesday night, NBC News reported that disgraced financier Jeffrey Epstein, who is currently awaiting trial on charges of sex trafficking and sex trafficking conspiracy, was found injured and semi-conscious in his cell with two abrasions on his neck. While initial details were sketchy, sources at Metropolitan Correctional Center, the prison where Epstein was being held, suggested to NBC News that the injury was possibly the result of a failed suicide attempt, though investigators have not yet ruled out that another inmate may have assaulted him.

Yet on social media, one explanation alone dominated the conversation: the Clintons did it. On Thursday morning, #ClintonBodyCount was one of the top trending topics on Twitter, with many speculating that Epstein’s injuries were the result of an attempt on his life that was orchestrated by his former friends. A list circulating on social media of supposed Clinton “victims,” or people who had purportedly had some connection to Bill and/or Hillary Clinton who had died by suicide. A Daily Beast story published that morning reporting that Epstein had visited the White House a number of times in the early 1990s only added fuel to the fire.

Another rumor that spread on Twitter focused on former Westchester County police officer Nicholas Tartaglione, another MCC inmate convicted of having killed four men involved in a drug trafficking ring, who reportedly was brought in for questioning regarding Epstein’s injuries. According to the Rockland/Westchester Journal News, Tartaglione was found with a contraband mobile phone in his cell, leading many armchair sleuths to speculate as to why he had a phone and whether he had any involvement with the incident resulting in Epstein’s injuries; yet Tartaglione’s cell phone was discovered by guards on July 3rd, not on July 23rd, as many on social media have claimed. (Through his attorney, Tartaglione has denied any involvement.)

Shut up!!!! Hey conspiracy theorists, not everything is a conspiracy OK? Let me spell this one out for you – Jeffrey Epstein is an alleged child molester. In prison. And if you’ve seen any movies or TV shows, you know that the rats get treated better than child molesters do. At least the rats don’t deserve it. Yeah so now that we got that out of the way… if conservatives want sites to take them seriously, stop tweeting and posting bullshit!

Right-wing conspiracy theorists capitalized Thursday on overnight reports that accused pedophile and Manhattan financier Jeffrey Epstein had attempted to hang himself in jail, reigniting pernicious, false accusations that former President Bill Clinton and wife, one-time Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, have covered up dozens of murders made to look like suicides.

Tens of thousands of tweets emerged Thursday morning using the #ClintonBodyCount hashtag, both promoting and ridiculing a decades-old anti-Clinton conspiracy. Supporters of the theory seemed to link the Clintons to unconfirmed reports that Epstein had been found nearly unconscious inside his New York City jail cell, where he is awaiting trial on sex trafficking charges. The reported suicide attempt came hours after The Daily Beast published a story Wednesday that explored financial ties between the politically and socially connected convicted sex offender and Bill Clinton.

Democrats and Clinton allies immediately condemned Twitter for allowing the "Clinton Body Count" conspiracy to trend and accused Russia-backed troll farms and automated bot accounts of leading the disinformation campaign, which came just one day after Special Counsel Robert Mueller testified before two Congressional committees on his investigation into alleged 2016 Trump campaign collusion.

The "Clinton Body Count" conspiracy has its roots in rabid anti-Clinton 1990s letters and screeds from a now-deceased Republican Indianapolis attorney who railed against the Clinton administration's deadly 1993 Waco, Texas, siege of the Branch Davidian church that resulted in more than 75 deaths.

Dude, you’re still hanging onto shit from back in the Waco days? Look some fucked up shit went down in Waco but taking down a crazy cult leader was justified. Sure, they could have sent it over to Pedo Island, but you know, you can’t do everything. And you know you can talk all the shit you want about Trump Derangement Syndrome – which isnt a thing, but Clinton Derangement Syndrome is real and your conspiracy theorist loving uncle has a bad case of it!

The news that disgraced financier Jeffrey Epstein was injured in his Manhattan jail cell has revived a decades-old conspiracy theory that baselessly links Hillary Clinton to a number of “suspicious” deaths.

Epstein, who is facing a possible 45 years if convicted on sex-trafficking and conspiracy charges, was reportedly found Wednesday semiconscious in his New York City jail cell with marks around his neck. Sources close to the investigation told NBC News that the injuries may have come from another inmate or been self-inflicted, and Epstein is now on suicide watch.

The news was sensational grist for conspiracy theorists and far-right pundits, who leapt to Twitter to suggest that Esptein’s injuries might somehow be linked to former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. The theory, known as the “Clinton Body Count,” was soon trending on Twitter, with the corresponding #ClintonBodyCount hashtag attached to more than 70,000 tweets by Thursday afternoon.

Big tech companies have been grappling with their part in the spread of conspiracy theories surrounding politicians, health information and mass violence. Facebook has balked at reigning in the theories spread in groups and on pages, citing a slippery slope of becoming arbiters of truth, while YouTube announced this year it would stop the spread of conspiracies on its platform by tweaking its algorithm to recommend less content that could misinform users.

Some users on Twitter criticized the platform for including the Clinton conspiracy hashtag in its Trending sidebar this morning when it only had a few hundred tweets, mostly from a well-known conspiracy news account.

And by the way if you think the Clinton Body Count hashtag was disturbing, wait until you see what Sean Hannity cooked up! Hey conservatives, this is why nobody takes you seriously! It’s because you say some ridiculously dumb shit. Yeah so fuck off with your conspiracy theories and angry mutterings and leave them to yourselves. If you want to be part of reality, maybe, I don’t know, turn the fucking TV off and unscrew your tin foil hat!

Before Sunday morning, the conspiracy theories collected under the hashtag #HillarysHealth were numerous.

According to Sean Hannity's "medical A-team," the Democratic nominee was wracked by seizures. According to Ted Noel, an anesthesiologist with no expertise in Parkinson's disease, Clinton had Parkinson's disease. According to Gateway Pundit and InfoWars, both sites linked regularly by The Drudge Report, Clinton was followed by a medical "mystery man" and might well have used a secret earpiece to get answers fed to her at the "Commander in chief" forum. The Drudge Report itself had promoted an Internet poll conducted by the Association of American Physicians and Surgeons — a fringe group that questions whether HIV causes AIDS — as proof that doctors were coalescing around the theory of the candidate's declining health.

On those counts, Sunday was a debacle — a reversal of the story line that Clinton was concealing permanent neurological damage. For a few hours, Clinton's stagger toward the van that took her to her daughter's New York apartment was interpreted as proof that the worst conspiracy theories had been right — and just as importantly, that the media had covered them up.

"The most likely diagnosis — in my mind — an acute cardiac arrhythmia — either ventricular tachycardia — or more likely atrial fibrillation with a rapid ventricular response," wrote a reader to American Conservative columnist Rod Dreher.

"Sick Hillary's cough is caused by Parkinson's disease," wrote self-published author Mike Cernovich.

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
[br] [/font]
Let’s spin it to win it!!! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… STOP!!! No, a whammy!!!

Man I’m losing big this week. First I got to go to jail now this. Oh well, spin it again! Yeah I need a drink!!!

Of course you know that the idea behind this segment is that we don’t mix booze and politics but we do mix booze and just about everything else. But we do so responsibly! Do you get me alcohol commercials? Hey, I drink and I know things. That’s what I’m told anyway. But this next story gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “booze cruise”. Because what’s more fun than mixing drinks and cruising? So tell me bartender, what goes well with a story about a fight on a cruise ship? Ha ha ha… Sailor Jerry’s? All right I’ll switch up my drink then and take a glass of Sailor Jerry’s. So here’s what happened on a cruise ship off the coast of England recently:

A mass brawl broke out on a British cruise ship Friday morning, leaving several people injured and others confined to their cabins for the rest of their journey, according to eyewitnesses who spoke to CNN affiliate ITV news.

The P&O cruise ship Britannia was on the final leg of a cruise to Norway's fjords from Southampton, in southeast England, when the fracas broke out, ITV reported.

ITV's "Good Morning Britain" correspondent Richard Gaisford was on board the ship when the fight broke out. In a series of messages on Twitter, he said that heavy amounts of alcohol contributed to violence that started on the 16th floor restaurant on Thursday, when a passenger appeared dressed as a clown.

The passenger's attire apparently upset some of the guests, Gaisford said.

"One witness, part of a group involved in the trouble, explained to staff that things kicked off when another passenger appeared dressed as a clown," Gaisford said.

"This upset one of their party because they'd specifically booked a cruise with no fancy dress. It led to a violent confrontation."

OK now who wouldn’t want to punch that clown? But if you start peeling back the layers on this, it turns out that there’s more to this story than you would lead on. And it’s certainly the most British story that’s come along in quite some time. So does this mean that the Joker is now hiding out on cruise ships? Well that could be a possibility.

Perhaps Batman should start monitoring the high seas for jokers with unverifiable stories.

Officials are disputing a report that a man in a clown costume was responsible for a chaotic restaurant brawl on a British cruise ship early Friday, in an incident that resulted in two arrests and at least six injuries. U.K. police say there is no evidence to support a viral Twitter thread that blamed a “clown” for the incident over the weekend.

The melee broke out after a long day of partying onboard the cruise ship Britannia, according to ITV reporter Richard Gaisford, who was on the boat at the time. Gaisford heard the commotion and rushed to the scene to interview people after it happened, he said on Twitter.

“Witnesses told me they were so frightened they had to hide, as family groups fought,” Gaisford tweeted on Saturday.

A witness told Gaisford that the fight erupted because a passenger crashed a black-tie party in a clown costume. Gaisford says the outfit upset the witnesses’ friend because “they’d specifically booked a cruise with no fancy dress . It led to a violent confrontation."

And if you think *MY* excessive drinking is a problem wait until you see what happens on this ship, and look I get it. Nobody wants to put on a suit and tie. Or wear any kind of ridiculous formal attire, but is “fancy dress” really enough to start a fight and get arrested? Or was it the copious amounts of booze that you get with your $3000 cruise ship cabin?

Alcohol packages sold onboard cruise liners have been criticised following last weekend’s mass brawl onboard a P&O ship.

Many of the world’s biggest cruise lines offer generous drinks packages that allow customers to drink alcoholic beverages during a set period.

Carnival Cruise Line, which owns brands including P&O, Cunard and Holland America Line, allows customers to drink 15 alcoholic drinks – including wines, beers, cocktails and mixed drinks – over a 24-hour period, which starts at 6am. The Cheers! Package costs $49.95 (£41) per day.

P&O passengers can buy an “ultimate drinks package” for £39.95, which allows them to get 15 beers, wines by the glass, cocktails or single-measure spirits, over a 24-hour period.

All cruises by Marella, which is owned by Tui, are all-inclusive and include a selection of cocktails, beers and wines that are served between 10am and 2am. The cruise line has a responsible drinking policy that encourages guests to be sensible when consuming alcohol.

Yeah maybe we need less chugging on these cruises and more staying hydrated. Because only in this day and age could you start a fight, get the whole cruise ship involved and get mass arrests an d leave the cruise escorted by police. Which is really a waste of the Fuzz’s time since they probably have more important things to do than hauling your ass off to the pen.

A mass brawl that broke out on a cruise ship and left six people injured was not started by a clown, police have said.

The fight, which erupted in the early hours of Friday morning on the P&O cruise ship Britannia, saw three men and three women assaulted.

Richard Gaisford, an ITV reporter for Good Morning Britain who was on board the ship at the time, said a witness had told him there was “blood everywhere” in the restaurant of the liner.

The ship had departed from Bergen, Norway some 12 hours earlier, and was en route to Southampton as part of a one-week cruise at the time of the incident.

He added that staff had reportedly never seen violence like it aboard the ship, which followed a black-tie event for passengers and “an afternoon of ‘patriotic’ partying on deck, with large amounts of alcohol being consumed by many guests”.

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Keeping Up With The Candidates Ep.
[br] [/font]

Let’s give the wheel a final spin for the week. Oh and it lands on another clip without context!

I bet Thanksgiving is real fun at his house! "Can I have some gravy?" "Yes, and GOD WILL STRIKE YOU DOWN FOR YOUR EXCESSIVE GLUTTONY!!!! YOU HEATHEN!!!". I have so many questions about this! Spin it again! And it lands on… Keeping Up With The Candidates!

Welcome back to Keeping Up With The Candidates – your one stop source for all things relating to the 2020 MOTHER OF ALL ELECTIONS TO END ALL ELECTIONS: Electric Boogaloo Die Harder. Last week we introduced you to the craziness that are the Republican challengers to Alabama’s Doug Jones, and the return that nobody asked for - Roy Moore is turning the entire thing into a massive shit show. This week, we’re going to Minnesota. Of course you know that Trump is doubling and tripling down his attacks on the women in Congress known as “The Squad”. Well, one of those members of The Squad, Ilhan Omar (D, MN-5), has a challenger! We are going to introduce you to that challenger, and you might be shocked by what you find. OK, not really that shocking.

Danielle Stella, a Republican candidate seeking to unseat Rep. Ilhan Omar from the U.S. House of Representatives in 2020, firmly supports the QAnon conspiracy theory, according to someone identifying themselves as communications volunteer who responded to Right Wing Watch’s inquiry.

QAnon is a Trump-era phenomena centered on a conspiracy theory that alleges that Trump administration insiders have been dropping clues, in the form of cryptic riddles posted on anonymous imageboards, about a supposed secret plan to take down the “deep state” and a worldwide network of satanic pedophiles said to include A-list Hollywood figures and top-level Democrats. Believers, who call themselves “anons,” dedicate themselves to decoding the posts. Early on, QAnon adherents claimed that Trump was secretly working with then-Special Counsel Robert Mueller to expose the Satanists.

People who believe in QAnon are increasingly frequent fixtures at Trump rallies. At a campaign rally in North Carolina last week, President Donald Trump praised a baby wearing a onesie emblazoned on the back with the “Q” emblem sometimes worn by adherents to the theory.

Travis View, co-host of the “QAnon Anonymous” podcast (which takes a critical look at the Q phenomenon), noticed today that Stella had responded to pro-QAnon Twitter users on her account and had used the hashtag “#WWG1WGA” popularized by QAnon believers online. A closer review of her Twitter account reveals that Stella has not been shy engaging with QAnon content.

Seriously? I’m sick of seeing this horseshit on twitter. There’s no way I would want to see that crap leaving its’ stink on Congress. Oh and by the way, in a not at all shocking twist to this story, Stella is wanted for several counts of robbery. And in a typical Trump fan fashion – where he always recruits “the best people” (read: worst), Stella is attempting to “yada yada” her way out of the situation.

A Republican challenger to Democratic U.S. Rep. Ilhan Omar is accused of shoplifting 279 items from a suburban Target earlier this year.

A criminal complaint says Danielle Stella stole items valued at more than $2,000 from Target during one visit on January 8. She allegedly told police she doesn’t remember anything after arriving at Target, due to post-traumatic stress disorder.

The Star Tribune reported that Stella was arrested again in April after allegedly stealing $40 in cat food from a Cub grocery store. A police report says she told an officer she forgot to pay.

In a text to the Guardian, a British newspaper, Stella said she’s innocent until proven guilty, and if she were guilty, she would never run for public office.

Stella is a 31-year-old special education teacher and supporter of President Donald Trump. She has gained attention for social media posts referencing QAnon, a far-right conspiracy theory. Last week InfoWars broadcast an interview in which she described Minneapolis as the “crime capital” of America.

Seriously Target, fool you once, shame on you. Fool you 279 times, well, shame on whoever failed to catch her 278 of those times. And can we stop treating Qanon crap like it’s national news? It originated in the sewage pit of internet message boards. And I would think that Ms. Stella, being a special education teacher, would recognize that this stuff is bullshit, but I guess that anyone can become a member of the Trump cult. But guess what? Her criminal record won’t stop her from challenging Omar.

Minnesota congressional representative Ilhan Omar has only been in office since January. But already the Somali-American lawmaker, who made history by wearing a hijab during her swearing-in, has a challenger for her seat: a 31-year-old special education teacher named Danielle Stella who promises to be tough on crime but herself has a criminal record and a pending felony theft charge.

On June 19, Stella filed a statement of candidacy (pdf) with the Federal Election Commission despite her own legal woes. Stella was twice charged with theft this year, once in January for allegedly stealing 279 items worth more than $2,300 from a Target store. After she failed to appear in court on that charge on April 4, a warrant was issued for her arrest. That warrant was executed on April 28, when Stella was caught purportedly shoplifting $40 worth of items from a grocery store, including tick spray for cats.

“I am not guilty of these crimes. In this country I am innocent until proven guilty and that is the law,” Stella told the Guardian recently. “If I was guilty of crimes, I would never run for public office, putting myself in the public eye under a microscope to be attacked by all political sides.”

Stella’s response is technically correct—she is innocent until proven guilty under American criminal law. But it doesn’t reflect the full extent of her liberty. Even if she is proven guilty and convicted of a felony, the conviction wouldn’t bar her from running for or ultimately holding the federal public office she seeks.

Now you might be asking – what about her popularity? Well Trump is not only doubling down on his attacks on Omar, he’s tripling down. They hate her! They really hate her. Yeah you can cite polls about how Omar has a 20% rating in the nationwide polls. But anyone who takes politics more seriously than we do, will tell you that those polls are a steaming load of bullshit. And guess what? Trump’s attacks on Omar have made her more popular than ever!

But in the city of Minneapolis, many of Omar’s constituents are standing fiercely behind their congresswoman. Many say they believe she has been unfairly maligned, her words twisted because of her background and religious faith. They are proud of how Omar has fought Trump and his allies while pushing far-left policies like student loan forgiveness.

Omar is a symbol of everything Minneapolis’s progressives want to project — and now that she’s in office, battered by the president and his party, Omar has been boosted by the fact that she has become a symbol of everything Trump hates.

Omar is the only member of "the Squad,” the group of four Democratic women of color targeted by Trump, to represent a district that is mostly white — just under two-thirds. That still makes the 5th District the most diverse district in Minnesota, a heavily white state with some of the country’s worst racial disparities and a stubbornly persistent wealth gap.

“Part of the reason I voted for her is to have representation of the people that Trump is demeaning in office,” said Braden Eliason, a medical tech executive in Minneapolis who stopped at Omar’s booth at the street fair Sunday.

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

The Top 10 is off next week but when we come back we’re going to talk about the latest Democratic debate and the lesser performing candidates.

[font size="4"]Report Card:[/font]

Key Issues: Qanon something something
Target Demographic: Trump supporters
Probability Rating: 0 / 100
Likelihood Of Going Far In Election: Not far at all

Overall Grade: F-

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Death Cab For Cutie[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is the reigning kings of dark alternative rock. You can see them at the Observatory North Park in San Diego Aug. 9th and 10th, and at the Hollywood Bowl Aug. 11th. Their latest album is called “Thank You For Today”. Playing their song “Gold Rush”, give it up for Death Cab For Cutie!!

Thank you North Carolina! This was fun! We’ll be back soon! We are taking a short break next week, we’ll be back on August 14th with a brand new edition live from the University of Kentucky!

See you in two weeks!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: University Of North Carolina, Raleigh, NC
Special Thanks To: University Of North Carolina
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: UNC Choir Club, Raleigh, NC
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Initech’s Wardrobe Provided By: JAB Inc.
Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
Death Cab For Cutie Appear Courtesy Of: BMG Rights Management
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

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