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Wed Jul 24, 2019, 05:00 PM

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #7-7: Scary 4chan, Bianca's Dead Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #7-7: Scary 4chan, Bianca’s Dead Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! What’s up University Of Florida? How are you guys doing? You doing fucking good? Man we are having a lot of fun on this tour so far. But… welcome to your new national nightmare, England! We warned you! We tried to warn you! We told you that having a leader like Trump was just as bad as having Trump actually in power. But no, it appears that you want old, creepy white men with terrible hair and too much bronzer in power. But we will cover this in full next week. Ah, see what I did there? Do we have time for the thing? Good. So is Forever 21 fat shaming their customers? So women who order clothes from the store are finding something that they didn’t order being included with their plus size clothing – a diet bar. Yeah really what the fuck? Hey no, we don’t need fat sound effects here. Naturally their customers weren’t having any of it. And why would you? It’s like they’re sending a message of some sort. Sure, living that kind of lifestyle isn’t good for you, but do we really need a store telling us that? And really companies, stop sending us shit we didn’t ask for, OK? I bought a motherboard, I don't need razors. I bought a t-shirt, I don't need a package of mouthwash. I went and saw the Incredibles 2, I don't need that weird movie about the cannibalistic Chinese dumpling! What the fuck is that thing??? It’s been over a year and I still can’t get that image out of my head! Damn you Pixar, damn you!!! OK enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first Stephen Colbert is back and I will be playing some of his monologues for our friends unfortunately stuck with DirecTV right now (which I am in that demographic):

So where do we begin this week? In the number one slot this week is Rand Paul (1). He needs to be ripped a new asshole for what he did to the 9/11 first responders and for that we’re going to ask “The 9/11 First Responders Bill: How Is This Still A Thing?”. In the second slot this week is the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump (2). Trump has been busy stroking the race card, but if you ask him personally about it, he will do that conservative thing where he denies that he did what he originally did. In the 3rd slot this week is current Attorney General William Barr (3) and he might be the first AG since 1856 to be held in contempt of Congress for his baiting of the controversial citizenship question on the 2020 Census. For the 4th slot this week is 4chan (4). And this is quite the horrifying story and the sick fucks at 4chan deserve it. Teenage social influencer Bianca Devins was murdered and her murder was posted on the website. And the more you dig into this story the weirder it gets and there’s going to be a lot of accessories to murder in this one. Taking the 5th slot is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5), and what’s up with Planned Parenthood’s CEO? The controversial organization has been going through CEOs faster than most people go through shoes. In the sixth slot this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit”, and after Glenn Beck announced his own Covenant With God, our resident pastor is going to do the same! At slot number 7 this week is “Beating A Dead Horse” (7). There’s some controversy over casting for Disney’s remake of “The Little Mermaid”, but then the James Bond franchise came along and said “hold my beer”. For the 8th slot this week, we have a new “This Fucking Guy”. And this week we’re going to profile ultra far right personality Josh Bernstein, who regularly appears on programs hawking nutritional supplements. Yeah, seriously, WTF? And for the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week, we have our favorite segment “People Are Dumb” and when we were in Florida the last time, we dedicated it all to the crazy adventures of our good friend Florida Man, and guess what? We’re doing it again for round II! Finally this week we have our ongoing series about all things 2020 Election, “Keeping Up With The Candidates” and this week we’re going to explore some of the winners (er, losers) running for Senate in the Alabama GOP and whew, they got some batshit crazy candidates running. And to cap things off, our good friends 311 are returning to the show! Really, buy their new album “Voyager” or you’re no friend of this show. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]How Is This Still A Thing?
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It’s time once again to ask:

This week – the 9/11 First Responders Bill. How is this still a thing? The 9/11 First Responders Bill was first proposed in 2010 – 9 years after 9/11, which shows you how quick Congress was to treat the people who sacrificed their lives to help with the devastation and destruction of the two tallest buildings in America. Since its’ proposal, it has taken nearly 9 years to come to fruition – and even then it was struck down a 3rd and 4th time, mainly because republicans like Rand Paul keep adding unnecessary amendments to the bill. So what is the reason for delaying the bill *THIS* time?

A Republican senator moved Wednesday to stall for the moment legislation providing compensation to 9/11 workers, sparking an emotional appeal on behalf of those sick and dying after responding to Ground Zero.

Although lawmakers for several weeks generally declared broad support for the measure to extend a victims compensation fund, the objections of two conservative senators suggest its Senate passage may stall or require more political muscle to enact.

Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) spoke out on the Senate floor Wednesday after Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.) proposed that the bill be approved by unanimous consent. Under Senate rules, an objection from a single senator can block a measure offered via unanimous consent.

Paul said he objected because any program that would last decades “should be offset by cutting spending that’s less valuable. We need, at the very least, to have this debate,” he said, adding that he would offer an amendment on the cost of the bill when it reaches the Senate floor.

Sen. Mike Lee (R-Utah) also has placed a hold on the legislation, according to advocates. Paul’s objection angered Democrats, who have been able to muster bipartisan support for the bill, which has 73 co-sponsors in the Senate.

Yes why? The bill had 73 co-sponsors, making it something that actually might have a chance of passing bi-partisan. Because one thing we can all agree on – liberal or conservative – is that the 9/11 first responders and families should get financial protection. But… leave it to former Daily Show host Jon Stewart to take up this cause for the people. Yes, a comedian is getting more done than Congress has on this subject in 9 years.

It appears Jon Stewart’s public shaming is working, yet again.

The House of Representatives on Friday overwhelmingly passed a bill guaranteeing funding for a program that helps cover medical care for 9/11 first responders, a move that comes in the wake of immense public outcry and emotional testimony from Stewart during a House hearing earlier this year.

The bill now heads to the Senate, where Majority Leader Mitch McConnell has committed to giving it a vote in August, following extensive pressure to do so.

“As soon as the House passes this bill, it should be on the floor of the Senate immediately as a standalone bill,” Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer said in June. “I am imploring, pleading, and even begging to Leader McConnell to put this bill on the floor as soon as it passes the House.”

“Nothing about our shared goal to provide for these heroes is remotely partisan. We will consider this important legislation soon,” McConnell said in a statement on Friday.

This bill, known as the Never Forget the Heroes Act, reauthorizes the 9/11 Victim Compensation Fund until 2090. A program that first ran from 2001 to 2004 and then was reestablished in 2011, the Victim Compensation Fund is now running out of money, given the number of first responders who’ve gotten sick following their work after the attacks.

So Jon Stewart’s advocacy for this subject has won over many fans and alienated critics. And yes, there are critics of what he is doing. Yes, cost is a factor, but when you consider that the United States can find $750 billion annually for new war machines and planes that it doesn’t need or want, they can find money for something that is badly needed. Treating the victims of the worst terrorist attack in modern history will be how the rest of the world sees us. And right now, it’s not seeing us so hot.

Comedian and 9/11 first responder advocate Jon Stewart blasted Rand Paul after the senator effectively blocked a vote to permanently reauthorize the 9/11 Victims Compensation Fund. The fund provides financial assistance for first responders suffering from 9/11-related medical issues.

Paul prevented the Senate from voting to approve the bill through unanimous consent, citing its cost.

"It has long been my feeling that we need to address our massive debt in the country," Paul, a Republican from Kentucky, said on the Senate floor. "And therefore any new spending ... should be offset by cutting spending that's less valuable. We need to at the very least have this debate."

"Pardon me if I'm not impressed in any way by Rand Paul's fiscal responsibility virtue signaling," Stewart retorted.

Stewart, speaking to Fox News' "Special Report with Bret Baier" on Wednesday, called the move "absolutely outrageous."He added, "Rand Paul presented tissue paper avoidance of the 1.5 trillion tax cut that added hundreds of billions of dollars to our deficit and now he stands up at the last minute after 15 years of blood, sweat and tears from the 9/11 community so that it's all over now, now we're going to balance the budget on the backs of the 9/11 first responder community."

Yes, it took Jon Stewart’s incessant pressure to get this bill off the ground again, and it was stalled by republicans in the senate again. Despite that it had 73 cosponsors and could easily pass and get the support of Trump. But nope. Two senators with their heads obviously up their asses stalled the bill yet again. And they will somehow find a way to delay it again. At this point you almost feel sorry for the bill itself. But how bad is it?

The House on Friday passed legislation to extend funding for the September 11th Victim Compensation Fund through 2090, weeks after the bill received nationwide attention following impassioned pleas for support from surviving first responders and comedian Jon Stewart.

The bill easily cleared the House with a vote of 402-12, and will now be sent to the Senate, where timing on that vote is not yet clear, though Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell has vowed to hold a vote on the legislation.

Moments after the House passage, McConnell's office issued a statement that the chamber would consider "this important legislation soon."

"The first responders who rushed into danger on September 11th, 2001 are the very definition of American heroes and patriots," McConnell said. "The Senate has never forgotten the Victim Compensation Fund and we aren't about to start now. Nothing about our shared goal to provide for these heroes is remotely partisan."

So there you go, it takes a comedian to do something that the Senate still won’t do. That’s enough to make you ask – the 9/11 First Responders Bill:

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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You know how sometimes you hear someone make an insanely racist statement and then it doesn’t hit you until the ride home where you go “God damn that was racist?”. Well think about what our current president, @realDonaldTrump says on a daily basis and then multiply that by the number of days that he’s currently been in office. I mean shit, even Saturday Night Live called Trump out for his blatant racism when he was hosting it that very fucking week:

Holy shit! That was from a fucking late night sketch comedy show! In 2005, 12 years before he would become president! So if he was racist then, how racist is he now?

The House voted on Tuesday to condemn as racist President Trump’s attacks against four congresswomen of color, but only after the debate over the president’s language devolved into a bitterly partisan brawl that showcased deep rifts over race, ethnicity and political ideology in the age of Trump.

The measure, the first House rebuke of a president in more than 100 years, passed nearly along party lines, 240 to 187, after one of the most polarizing exchanges on the floor in recent times. Only four Republicans and the House’s lone independent, Representative Justin Amash of Michigan, voted with all Democrats to condemn the president.

“I know racism when I see it, I know racism when I feel it, and at the highest level of government, there’s no room for racism,” said Representative John Lewis, Democrat of Georgia, an icon of the civil rights movement.

Some Republicans were just as adamant in their defense of Mr. Trump: “What has really happened here is that the president and his supporters have been forced to endure months of allegations of racism,” said Representative Dan Meuser, Republican of Pennsylvania. “This ridiculous slander does a disservice to our nation.”

Holy shit! Trump is so racist that they had to hold a special hearing in the House to denounce his tweets as being openly racist. See republicans??? Do you see what we are saying about racism now? Fuck off with your identity politics bullshit. You guys are the ones playing identity politics! If it’s not represented by a straight white man it doesn’t exist! You know when you start calling every republican a racist the message gets lost, but you know… some of them might actually be racist.

The issues of racism and racial divisions in politics are front and center again in the wake of President Trump’s tweets and comments about four congresswomen of color. But a key question is whether Trump’s behavior in recent years has led to an increase in racism in the U.S.

Last week, Trump tweeted the freshmen lawmakers should “go back and help fix the totally broken and crime infested places from which they came,” even though most of them were born in the U.S. Many saw parallels to Trump‘s comments on Charlottesville, Virginia, when he said there was “blame on both sides” after a violent white-supremacist and neo-Nazi rally in 2017 resulted in the death of one woman.

Clearly, these and other Trump’s statements and actions have shaped Americans’ views of him, to the point that a majority of Americans say Trump is a racist — a February 2018 AP-NORC poll found 57 percent of respondents said Trump was racist, while 40 percent said he wasn’t.

Earlier this year, the Pew Research Center attempted to answer the “Has America Become More Racist?” question. It found a majority of Americans (65 percent) said that since Trump’s election, it “has become more common for people to express racist or racially insensitive views.” Multiple studies have uncovered evidence that Trump’s rhetoric has legitimized expressions of prejudice. One 2016 study found, for instance, that racist attitudes toward groups targeted by Trump, like Muslims and immigrants, were considered more acceptable after the election. And a second study showed that reading Trump’s statements targeting ethnic or racial groups made people more likely to write prejudicial things themselves.

Well duh, of course people have become more racist since Trump got into office. You know Obama brought out the best in people , Trump and Fox News are making America more racist again! Thank you audience! Really, turn that shit off, it’s good for you. I mean come on, Trump is even too racist for Fox News! And let’s face it, when you’re too racist for Fox News, that’s pretty fucking racist.

White House adviser Stephen Miller on Sunday pushed back against those who believe President Donald Trump is a racist or is engaging in racist rhetoric, arguing the liberals use that label to censor their opponents.

"Fox News Sunday" host Chris Wallace listed several of Trump's statements that have been decried as racist, including his recent suggestion that four congresswomen of color "go back and help fix the totally broken and crime-infested places from which they came," his unsubstantiated claims that former President Barack Obama was not a U.S. citizen, his campaign announcement in which he said Mexicans "are rapists," his call for a "complete shutdown on Muslims entering the United States," and his assertion that there were good people on "both sides" of a clash between white nationalists and counterprotesters at the "Unite the Right" rally in Charlottesville, Virginia.

"Why shouldn't someone see all of that as racist?" Wallace asked Miller.

"I think the term 'racist,' Chris, has become a label that is too often deployed by the left, Democrats in this country simply to try to silence and punish and suppress people they disagree with, speech that they don't want to hear," Miller said.

"The reality is that this president has been a president for all Americans, whether you look at historically low black unemployment rates, historically low Hispanic unemployment rates or if you look at what he's doing on immigration to protect safety, security, rising wages for all American citizens."

That’s the basic definition thanks. But this is Stephen Miller here, that guy is a hardcore, I’m too racist, so racist yeah kind of guy. What? You guys aren’t down with Right Said Fred references? Well this is my show, I make the references! Back on topic here, what’s really scary about this is that denying racists and racism only makes it stronger. I swear it’s like we live in the Matrix or something. And the irony is that republicans and racists love making Matrix references despite that the movie was made by two Polish-Jewish trans sisters. Oh the irony! Of course, irony is lost on the racists.

When did we arrive at the point where applying the words racist and racism was more radioactive than actually doing and saying racist things and demonstrating oneself to be a racist?

How is it that America insists on knowledge of the unknowable — what lurks in the heart — in order to assign the appellation?

Why are so many Americans insisting that racism requires conscious, malicious intent in order for the title to be earned?

Last week, much of America wrestled with whether to label the president racist after he published racist tweets about four congresswomen of color, demonstrating once again in the most overt terms that he is indeed a racist.

And yet many, including those in the media, struggled with whether or not to label his tweet, and by extension Donald Trump himself, as racist.

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[font size="8"]Bill Barr
[br] [/font]

Is Bill Barr the worst attorney general in US history? Well he’s already been attorney general for a few months and he might be actually in the running. Shit, he’s only been in the office for five months and he’s already being held in contempt. Why? They are still trying to find a work around so they can stick the citizenship question on the 2020 census. And here’s the thing republicans – you do *NOT* fuck with the census! And you know why? Because it could alter your state’s representation for the next 10 years and it could go good or bad. And here’s what is the latest.

The House of Representatives escalated its confrontation with the executive branch Wednesday by holding two Trump administration officials in criminal contempt for not providing complete copies of subpoenaed documents related to the 2020 census.

The resolution named Attorney General William Barr and Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross for failing to cooperate with a congressional oversight investigation.

In a deeply divided House, Wednesday's criminal contempt measure passed on a mostly party-line vote of 230-198. The House's lone independent, Rep. Justin Amash of Michigan, backed the measure. Four Democrats broke with their leaders and opposed it. The rebuke of Trump Cabinet officials comes just a day after the House passed another resolution condemning the president himself for racist tweets over the weekend.

The move marks the second time a sitting attorney general has been found in criminal contempt by the House. The first time was back in 2012, when the House voted to hold then-Attorney General Eric Holder in contempt over his failure to turn over documents for the chamber's "Fast and Furious" probe. Seventeen Democrats joined with what was then a Republican majority to secure that outcome.

Yeah unfortunately those things only work when you’re on TV shows and not necessarily held in contempt of Congress, Homer. And that’s not the only problem facing the Trump administration this week. This whole revolving door administration really is a bad mark on society. But you won’t hear the MAGAs cheering about it.

The House is poised to vote on holding Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross and Attorney General William Barr in contempt over their roles in withholding information about efforts to add a citizenship question to the 2020 census amid a report that President Donald Trump is considering firing Ross over the failed attempt to include one.

Democrats in the House scheduled a Tuesday floor vote on the criminal contempt resolution since Ross and Barr have declined to comply with a subpoena to hand over documents to the House Oversight and Reform Committee to help aid in its investigation about the origins of the citizenship question.

House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer of Maryland accused the Trump administration of wanting to add a citizenship question for the first time since 1950 "only to deter minorities from participating and leading to an undercount in parts of the country."

Officials held in criminal contempt face fines and up to a year in prison, but it's highly unlikely either would face criminal charges from the Justice Department. Barr would be the second attorney general held in contempt by the full House other than Eric Holder when he was attorney general for former President Barack Obama.

You know that is a good point, that is kind of like when the GOP takes things literally. You know, like when they talk about “illegal immigration” but never read past the word “illegal” or talk about the second amendment but never read past “shall not be infringed”. It’s kind of like that. But really just how bad is Bill Barr? It’s funny, I keep wanting to call him Al Barr because that’s the lead singer of the Dropkick Murphys, but I’m convinced Al Barr could at this point literally kick Bill Barr’s ass!

The House is set to vote on whether to hold Attorney General William Barr and Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross in criminal contempt for not complying with congressional subpoenas on their thwarted attempts to add a citizenship question to the 2020 census.

The resolution was originally scheduled for a Tuesday vote, but appeared to be pushed to a later date as lawmakers are set to vote on a resolution condemning President Trump’s tweets targeting four minority progressive Democratic lawmakers.

The vote comes just days after Trump abandoned his efforts to get the question on next year’s population survey. He instead issued an executive order directing federal agencies to share records containing citizenship information with the Commerce Department — the recommendation initially made by the Census Bureau more than a year ago.

The House Oversight and Reform Committee voted on the contempt measure last month, after the Cabinet officials didn’t comply with subpoenas for documents on the addition of the citizenship question.

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[font size="8"]Scary 4Chan, Bianca’s Dead
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Normally the Top 10 policy is that we don’t joke about things like murder or mass shootings or the situation going on at the border because it’s really too horrifying to make fun of. And this next story is about a murder. But when 4chan is involved… no really, fuck 4chan. And fuck 8chan too. And 16chan, and 32chan, and 64chan, and 128chan. Really, fuck all the Chans at this point. Except for our assistant producer Harold Chan, he can stay. Now the title of this entry comes from an old Psych episode called “Scary Sherry, Bianca’s Dead”. So for this piece, let’s call it “Scary 4chan, Bianca’s Dead”. And for this entry, we will channel our inner Shawn Spencer and Burton Guster. So before we dive into trashing this horrid excuse for an internet forum, what happened exactly?

A young woman active on social media was brutally murdered, with gruesome photos of her body posted to Instagram and other platforms.

Horrific images of 17-year-old Bianca Devins were posted on Instagram early Sunday, after she went to a concert in Queens with Brandon Andrew Clark.

Clark, 21, reportedly called police on himself, according to Lt. Bryan Coromato. When he was discovered in his car in Utica, Clark reportedly slit his own throat and posted pictures of his bleeding neck on Instagram as well.

Devins, who was a popular "egirl" on Tik Tok, was was found dead outside the SUV. Clark was rushed to the hospital, where he underwent surgery. The two reportedly met online, and had been seeing each other for about two months before the night of the concert, by Canadian musician Nicole Dollenganger.

Bianca's sister, Olivia Devins, later called Clark a "close family friend."

Yes, stay creepy 4chan! And really what an age we live in where evidence of a fucking murder can be posted online in messaging forums. And how is 4chan not being monitored by the FBI and CIA as being a terrorist group? Well, maybe terrorism is a harsh word to use for a group of incels who live in their mom’s basement and spend the whole day chain smoking and pooping their pants. I assume that’s what incels do all day. But what drove them to murder?

"Here comes Hell. It's redemption, right?"

Brandon Andrew Clark posed that question, taken from a rock song, to his Instagram followers in a temporary 24-hour story posted before dawn last Sunday.

The next image he shared was far more disturbing. A blurry photograph captioned "I'm sorry Bianca" appeared to show a woman's bloodied torso.

Before then his Instagram account, which we have chosen not to name, was mostly used to catalogue selfies and posts about music and art. Police believe the 21 year old had met Bianca through the platform two months earlier and their relationship had progressed in person since.

On Saturday, he drove Bianca to New York City from Utica, where she lived, to see Canadian singer Nicole Dollanganger perform. Police said they believed the pair had got into an argument on the way back, possibly about her kissing someone else, and he had fatally attacked her with a knife.

Police said the suspect shared an even more graphic photograph of Bianca's body on Discord - a popular messaging platform for gamers. This image showed the extent of injuries to Bianca's throat and made clear her wounds had been fatal.

Obviously. Look, passionate romance is nothing to joke about. And for an Incel who was lucky enough to score, that shit should be taken seriously! So what happens when a murder like this goes viral? And going viral is probably the worst thing you can say about someone’s murder. Oh pictures of her fatally stabbed body just.. went viral. Yeah that doesn’t sound good at all does it?

Like most mornings, Jared, who lives in a small town in southern Utah, logged in to Bianca’s group chat on Sunday to see what he’d missed overnight.

There, posted 15 minutes earlier, was a photo of Bianca’s body. From the gaze in her eyes and the extensive injuries, it was obvious she was dead.

The image, posted under a username associated with Clark, was accompanied by a message: “Sorry fuckers, you’re going to have to find someone else to orbit.”

On his own social media accounts, Clark was busy telling a story seemingly calculated for maximum exposure. He uploaded pictures of himself and Bianca’s body and declared his intention to kill himself. As police arrived to apprehend him on a secluded street in Utica, he continued to snap photos and post them online.

He even left a message at the scene, police said: The words “May you never forget me” were spray-painted on the pavement, an apparent reference to a manga about a toxic relationship that both he and Bianca liked.

Holy shit! I think we might have found the worst possible use for Instagram here. This is where toxic masculinity takes a very ugly turn. And toxic masculinity is ugly to begin with! Just adding the word “toxic” to anything makes it ugly. Like… toxic unicorns. Yes, the word “toxic” can make the most innocent things sound horrible. Like for instance I literally just turned something as innocent as a unicorn into something extremely horrifying and terrible. You can’t get that image out of your head now, can you? And here’s where social media gets really ugly.

After Bianca Devins’ brutal murder, incels and trolls gleefully circulated photos of her mutilated body across the internet. But within days, the #RIPBianca hashtag and her tagged Instagram photos were transformed into an endless stream of bubblegum pink, fluffy white kittens, candy hearts, and glittery pink clouds.

The dreamy imagery is coming from a vast community of “e-girls,” an online subculture influenced by video games, anime, and grunge that Devins had belonged to.

For these girls and young women, many of whom face harassment and threats on a regular basis, Devin’s brutal murder hit way too close to home.

“Finding out about Bianca was terrifying,” said Ashley Eldridge, a 19-year-old e-girl. “I worry about stuff like that happening all the time. I’m constantly scared that someone is going to recognize me in real life and follow me.”

The e-girl community was almost instantly privy to the incredible violence Devins suffered in the final moments of her life, sometime in the early hours of Sunday morning. Her killer stabbed her to death and then shared pictures of her dead body on social media, including her Discord server. Police suspect her boyfriend, a 22-year-old online influencer Brandon Clark who police say she’d met through Instagram about two months earlier.

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Planned Parenthood CEO
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Hey it’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!

Abortion is quite possibly the biggest hot button issue of our lifetime. This week, anti-abortion activists were cheering the announcement of yet another CEO from the organization who anti-abortion activists most commonly associate with the practice: Planned Parenthood. After a “secret meeting”, Planned Parenthood fired yet *ANOTHER* CEO. In the last 5 years, PPH has gone through CEOs at about the rate that most people go through shoes. But just how bad are things at the women’s health care provider?

Planned Parenthood President and CEO Leana Wen said she was fired Tuesday, less than one year into her tenure, at what she called a “secret meeting” of the board of directors.

In a statement, Wen said she and the board had “philosophical differences” about the direction and future of the women’s health organization, adding that they were engaged in “good faith negotiations” about her departure when the ouster was announced.

A spokesperson for Planned Parenthood denied that the meeting was secret. A source familiar with the situation said Wen had been in discussions with the board for months and was well aware the meeting was taking place, though she was not permitted to attend.

The organization said in a statement that board member Alexis McGill Johnson will serve as acting president and CEO while the organization conducts a search for a permanent replacement.

So what is the fight about? Is it about abortion or is it about politics? Those on the right would say that it is about politics but will very quickly deny it. But of course conservatives take everything out of context and ruin it. Which is completely and totally the case here.

“I believe abortion is about health care, not politics,” Wen wrote. “Many of my colleagues disagreed.”

Wen declined to comment to POLITICO. “Dr. Wen is not taking any media requests related to her departure from Planned Parenthood,” a spokesperson wrote. “Her NYT op-ed states her position.”

Wen’s claims have been picked up by conservative news outlets and circulated inside the Trump administration, with senior officials exploring how to use Wen’s criticism of Planned Parenthood in future talking points, said two individuals who have discussed administration media strategy. Some conservatives have called Wen a “whistleblower” for providing evidence of their long-held beliefs about Planned Parenthood.

“Wen tried to make Planned Parenthood what its always pretended to be: healthcare focused, a resource for all women, doing abortion politics on the side,” tweeted Matt Whitlock, a Republican policy adviser. “She didn’t get the memo it’s really the opposite: abortion politics with a tiny side of healthcare.”

A person close to Wen said that she was repeatedly pressured by Planned Parenthood leadership to stress that abortion was her top goal, such as after a BuzzFeed article in January that suggested Wen would “focus on nonabortion care.” Wen subsequently gave an interview to the Daily Beast reaffirming her commitment to abortion access, the individual said.

Yeah it’s kind of like that. But why was Wen chosen to lead Planned Parenthood? What did she know about abortion? Really, we’re asking. Did she know anything? Of course the Christian right would take her comments out of context and use them against her – it’s how they gain power in every election and how they could bring about the second apocalypse. Well, at least prevent women from getting the healthcare they need.

“I believe that the best way to protect abortion care is to be clear that it is not a political issue but a health care one, and that we can expand support for reproductive rights by finding common ground with the large majority of Americans who understand reproductive health care as the fundamental health care that it is,” Dr. Wen said in her statement. “I am leaving because the new Board Chairs and I have philosophical differences over the direction and future of Planned Parenthood.”

In a statement from Planned Parenthood, the organization did not address any contention between the parties and announced its new Acting President.

“We thank Dr. Leana Wen for her service to Planned Parenthood in such a pivotal time and extend our best wishes for her continued success,” the statement reads. “We are pleased to announce that Alexis Gill Johnson has been named Acting President, effective immediately. Alexis is a renowned social justice leader, lifelong political organizer and a tireless advocate for healthcare.” Johnson has served on Planned Parenthood’s board for nearly a decade and served as a Board Chair from 2013 to 2015.

Dr. Wen’s brief tenure and the apparently acrimonious split comes at a tumultuous time for the organization and coincides with the Trump administration’s new abortion regulations, which officially began enforcing a ban on abortion referrals from taxpayer-funded family planning clinics on Tuesday, as Associated Press reports. Several Republican-controlled states, Alabama and Missouri among them, have recently undertaken legislative efforts to restrict abortion access.

Well, we don’t want to be, but just how bad are things at Planned Parenthood? They’ve got a lot of work to do before they can adequately rebuild. But at least Planned Parenthood is a much smoother run organization than the NRA. We can say that, right? But just how bad is it? They should have a new CEO soon so that things will get better. But we will keep an eye on the subject.

The day before Dr. Leana Wen took the reins as president of Planned Parenthood — the first doctor to lead the organization in 50 years — staffers received a detailed memo indicating how things were going to operate under the new leadership. Addressed to the organization’s communications team, it included the eyebrow-raising directive “No action or requests should be taken until approval from the [Office of the President] is given.”

Planned Parenthood is a massive health care provider, serving more than 2.4 million patients at some 600 health clinics across the country, and a political powerhouse that had spent the preceding decade successfully deflecting repeated attempts to strip it of both public and private funding. Wen was taking the organization over from beloved president Cecile Richards at an especially fraught moment: a month after Brett Kavanaugh was appointed to the Supreme Court, just as conservatives around the country were pushing increasingly aggressive abortion restrictions through state legislatures in hopes of seeing Roe v. Wade reconsidered — possibly even overturned — by the high court.

To longtime employees, the incoming president’s memo signaled both a fundamental misunderstanding of the way Planned Parenthood worked as an organization (reaching decisions through consensus and with input from various stakeholders) and served as a worrying indication Wen didn’t recognize the nature of the role she was stepping into. The sheer volume of requests alone would make it impractical, if not impossible, to run all of them through her office and still respond at the speed the news cycle demands. Most importantly, though, staffers felt the memo indicated — before Wen had even walked through the door — a deep mistrust of the organization’s existing employees and processes.

That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of Austin! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation!!! Does America need to renew its’ covenant with the good LAWRD almighty? That seems to be a topic of discussion among the ultra far right. It seems America isn’t worshipping the good LAWRD JAYSUS enough, and JAYSUS doesn’t get enough of a patriotic boner to be an American! So what if we combined these two things? That is what is on the sacrificial table and the discussion in the pews right now. America needs a new covenant with the ALMIGHTY GAWD!! But judging from the people who are behind it, I think we might need a few more covenants before we are to fully spiritually cleanse ourselves from SIN!!

Glenn Beck revealed on his radio program yesterday that he is planning to host an event next year designed to renew America’s covenant with God.

Beck was interviewing Tim Ballard, who runs Beck’s Nazarene Fund organization, about his books, “The Covenant: One Nation Under God” and “The Covenant, Lincoln, and The War,” which claim that the Pilgrims, the Founding Fathers, and several early American presidents made and repeatedly renewed covenants with God on behalf of the United States

Beck is apparently planning to take it upon himself to renew that covenant once again next summer.

“I told Tim … that I was going to do something big—a Restoring event—next summer,” Beck said. “I have felt strongly that it is supposed to be a renewal of the covenant.”

“We have to do it exactly right,” he added. “We have to repeat [George] Washington and [Abraham] Lincoln. We have to do it right and we, as a people, need to gather together and do it. So, next summer, we are going to do it.”

The details about where and went this event will take place are still being worked out, Beck said, but “I would just ask that you keep your calendar clear for summer next year.”

That’s right – last week we pointed out how the good LAWRD almighty was pissed, and this week he may have even more of a reason to be! And it’s no wonder that the religious right worships the Dark One whose name shall not be named in my church! They worship the old testament, and the old testament GAWD is an angry and vengeful one!

Celebrity pundit and radio personality Glenn Beck has built his brand with several national events in the past, including “Restoring Honor” (2010), “Restoring Courage” (2011), “Restoring Love” (2012), and “Restoring Unity” (2015).

By the time “Restoring Unity” — heavily inflected with shades of #AllLivesMatter — came about, Beck’s cultural influence appeared to be on the decline. The event drew smaller crowds than any previous one and garnered little national media coverage.

But that was 2015, and in the new political climate of the Trump era, it seems Beck is looking for a chance to return to the media spotlight as a major voice for America’s religious conservatives.

On Monday’s episode of The Glenn Beck Program, Beck announced his intentions to plan yet another “restoring event” for the summer of 2020. And in terms of scale, this could be the most ambitious one yet. Claiming to follow in the footsteps of historical figures like George Washington and Abraham Lincoln, Beck vows to renew America’s historic covenant with the God of the Bible.

The segment, featuring author Tim Ballard, focused largely on the idea that America’s success as a nation comes from early Americans — Beck and Ballard cite the pilgrims, Washington, and Lincoln — who consciously led the nation to make agreements with God based on Old Testament covenants.

Yeah so America’s Covenant With GAWD is something that is as old as the country itself, but do we really need these people renewing it? I mean if they’re the good guys, who are the bad guys? We really need to do a deep dive into the right wing’s quest for spiritual warfare because I’m convinced that my brothers and sisters on the right are fighting a war that no one wants to fight. Because war is a SIN!!! It is one of the most egregious of sins!!!

A succession of congressional leaders paraded before Religious Right activists at a “town hall” event in the congressional auditorium at the U.S. Capitol visitors’ center on Thursday as part of the Faith and Freedom Coalition’s annual Road to Majority conference. It followed a luncheon with other members of Congress; the two events provide a way for Faith and Freedom Coalition Chairman Ralph Reed to kick off his annual event with a demonstration that he has access to high-level officials who are, in his words, “doing the Lord’s work in the Devil’s city.”

Some of the loudest cheers went for the smugly self-satisfied Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, whom Reed introduced as a “total hero” for blocking Senate consideration of President Obama’s Supreme Court nomination of Judge Merrick Garland—and for using the power of his office to ram Trump’s judicial nominees through the Senate.

McConnell bragged about having done the opposite under President Obama, slowing Senate action to ensure that Obama’s successor would come into office with plenty of vacancies: “There were a lot of vacancies left when President Obama left office. I was the majority leader the last couple of years he was president,” he said, pausing for comic effect before adding to laughter and applause, “We didn’t have a lot of time.”

McConnell said that about one-fourth of U.S. circuit judges serving on the bench today comprises Trump nominees who were confirmed by the Senate in the past two-and-a-half years, and celebrated that Trump’s nominees are years younger, on average, than Obama’s nominees.

Now Brother Mitch and Brother Ralph, if you’re leading the spiritual war against detractors of the Almighty GAWD, what does that say about GAWD? If you refer to what I said previously, are these the guys who we want leading America’s renewal of the covenant with the ALMIGHTY? Hell no! Can I get an amen?? And speaking of “spiritual warfare”, we do have a preview of what’s to come because these people are insane!

Lance Wallnau, a “prophetic” author and promoter of Seven Mountains Dominionism, makes his money in part as a life coach/motivational speaker. He’s now inviting his followers to shell out about $1000 in registration fees for a “spiritual warfare” gathering at Trump International Hotel in Washington, D.C. over Labor Day weekend.

Meeting in Trump’s D.C. hotel has become a way for entities ranging from foreign governments to lobbying groups to showcase their support for Trump while enriching the Trump family. But it’s even more than that for the subset of conservative Christians who believe Trump was anointed by God to save America and, some believe, to help bring about the second coming of Christ. In his conference promotion, Wallnau says that Trump International “has angelic activity at a different level” than other resorts. In an accompanying video message, he adds that the hotel is “Grand Central for spiritual activity.” At an earlier dominionist gathering at the hotel, prayer warriors asked God to unleash his angel armies against Trump’s enemies in the deep state.

One thing that Wallnau and other dominionist leaders offer their followers is the belief that they play a key role in the raging spiritual warfare over the fate of this country and humanity itself in the end times. “We have entered the timing of angelic warfare over the destiny of NATIONS!” Wallanu said in an email marketing his “Dream Trip” conference, which had the subject line, “Your Blueprint to ADVANCE in the Heavenly Battle.” He told his supporters, “Your destiny is wrapped up in a heavenly battle—the battle over the harvest of souls and nations.”

“The nation is in a turbulent wrestling match. Spiritual warfare is about whose version of reality will prevail on earth—Heaven or Hell?” Wallnau wrote:

They just don’t get it do they? They don’t get how this works, that’s because they didn’t read the Bible past a few verses, so do we want them leading America’s covenant with GAWD? No! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse
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When you hear the term “social justice warrior” or “triggered snowflake”, who would you say is the biggest one of them all? While the rest of the world is lauding casting choices in such blockbuster franchises as James Bond, the Little Mermaid, and now Thor, there’s only one group in this world who gets the title of “triggered snowflake”, and that’s white conservative males. They are the ones complaining and launching the biggest stink of any group out there. Sure, you can point the blame at whatever group may be the group du jour, but really, blame white males. Those who threw the biggest shit fit at the Ghostbusters franchise are poised to do it again. But this time, we’re on to them.

Over the weekend, a Facebook group called “Christian's Against the Little Mermaid (Boycott Halle Bailey)” reached over 50,000 members.

This group was ostensibly created in response to the July 3 announcement that Halle Bailey, half of the sister duo Chloe x Halle, would be playing Ariel in the upcoming live-action remake of Disney’s “The Little Mermaid.” Bailey would be the first black woman to portray a princess in one of the studio’s live-action films, as well as only the second black princess in Disney’s 95-year history; the first was Tiana of the 2009 animated film “The Princess and the Frog.”

“Disney has been ruining our childhood classics for the past several years. Their live-action adaptations have been abysmal but now they have gone too far!!!” reads the group’s welcome message. “Disney has jumped on the bandwagon of turning prominent red headed, fair skinned characters into POC. Why not just create a new character? Why is Hollywood trying to wipe out gingers???”

Over 10,000 new posts have been made in the group today, and nearly as many have been made elsewhere, on Facebook users' own timelines, about the group itself — mostly expressing shock or disgust that such a group even exists.

But the group’s origin story has some holes. Clicking into its history — which is publicly viewable — Facebook shows that “Christian's Against the Little Mermaid (Boycott Halle Bailey)” was actually created in July 2017. But at that point, the group was called: “Love, compassion, & understanding.” (Credit to Hemant Mehta of the Patheos blog The Friendly Atheist for surfacing this information.)

In January 2019, it was renamed, “Boycott Super Bowl LIII;” several months later, “Muhammad Ali Memorial.” Then finally on July 4, the day after Bailey’s role as Ariel was publicized, it was finally changed to “Christian's Against the Little Mermaid (Boycott Halle Bailey).” The groups's Facebook address is www.facebook.com/groups/cosmodinardo/. Cosmo DiNardo is a man from Pennsylvania who, in 2017, pleaded guilty to four counts of murder and was sentenced to four consecutive life sentences.

Shut up. We bought your “they ruined our childhood” argument when Ghostbusters came out, but after the 1,000,000,000th time you have brought this argument to anyone who dares take liberties with your favorite story? Yeah, shut the fuck up. I mean come on, let’s ask someone who knows a thing or two about the subject, and that’s Black Widow herself, Scarlett Johannsen. Who, as you probably already know, got a lot of shit for playing a Japanese robot/human hybrid in “Ghost In The Shell”:

Scarlett Johansson is an accomplished actress, with a Tony Award and major box office successes to her name, from Lost in Translation to Avengers: Endgame. But her track record is dicier when it comes to some of the roles she’s chosen to play. Despite facing criticism in the past for accepting a role as a transgender man and starring as a Japanese woman in 2017’s Ghost in the Shell amid cries of whitewashing, Johansson has pushed back against those who would challenge her commitment to supporting diversity and inclusion in Hollywood, by suggesting she should be allowed to play anyone or anything — backlash and “political correctness” be damned.

In the August issue of the arts and culture magazine As If, Johansson discussed what she finds to be a discomforting “trend” in casting, one that encourages routine interrogation of who can play what types of roles and advocates for diversity and inclusion both onscreen and off.

“Today there’s a lot of emphasis and conversation about what acting is and who we want to see represent ourselves on screen,” she told interviewer and artist David Salle in the article, published July 11. “The question is, what is acting anyway?”

Johansson then proceeded to answer her own question: “You know, as an actor I should be allowed to play any person, or any tree, or any animal because that is my job and the requirements of my job,” she said

Yeah I would suspect that Ms. Johannsen does a lot of that in real life in regards to trolls! But if the Little Mermaid outrage doesn’t get to you, there’s the James Bond outrage. Yes, 007 himself is getting a radical makeover for Bond 25: Just Tell Us The Damn Title Already. And longtime white male Bond fans aren’t happy about the fact that Bond is no longer being played by a white male.

When Daniel Craig was first announced as Pierce Brosnan's replacement as 007, there was an uproar in some quarters.

A few even went as far as to set up an online protest, via the website www.craignotbond.com, calling on fans to help "stop Sony and Eon [Productions] from ruining the future of James Bond by hiring Daniel Craig".

"How can a short, blond actor with the rough face of a professional boxer and a penchant for playing killers, cranks, cads, and gigolos pull off the role of a tall, dark, handsome and suave secret agent?" the website asked.

Not everyone was quite so negative, of course - including Brosnan, himself.

"I think Daniel is a very fine actor," said ever-classy Irishman said. "These are rocky waters, but I think he will have the last laugh."

Yeah I’m pretty sure the people complaining about this diversity casting are thinking about it the same way that Ron Burgundy does. Which is that it’s a very old wooden ship from the Civil War era. But if you’re keeping score at home – so far we have black Little Mermaid, black female James Bond, and now even Thor is getting a huge change that people don’t like. Really, cue the world’s tiniest violin for the white male snowflakes. And you know what? You’ll still go see it anyways.

Marvel announced Natalie Portman will reprise her role as Jane Foster in the upcoming "Thor: Love and Thunder" film, but she will not play the love interest. Instead, she will play a female Thor, and not everyone is happy about it.

The announcement was made at Sand Diego Comic-Con on Saturday, as Portman stood beside returning director Taika Waititi and star Chris Hemsworth.

"I've always had hammer envy," Portman said at the event, according to Variety.

She will officially pick up the hammer in the upcoming film set for 2021, despite being absent from the more recent "Thor" and "Avengers" films. Portman introduced Jane Foster, an astrophysicist who falls for the superhero, in "Thor" in 2011 and "Thor: The Dark World" in 2013.

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[font size="8"]This Fucking Guy: Josh Bernstein
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This week’s This Fucking Guy is right wing commentator and host of the Josh Bernstein Show, and that’s none other than Josh Bernstein. Whew, this fucking guy. He is batshit off the wall crazy. He’s a frequent guest on the NutriMedical Report Show, which if you take it at surface value is just your typical medical advice show. Except when they have guests, they get the most off the wall conservative people they can possibly find. And then they go back to telling you about ulcers and hernias. Josh Bernstein is all about the Trump train, and that they really need to build a wall along the Mexican border. Really you’re not helping your case at all with how we feel about Trump supporters here.

Earlier this week, radical right-wing commentator Josh Bernstein appeared on Bill Deagel’s “NutriMedical Report Show,” where he called not only for a complete ban on all immigration but also urged President Trump to hire thousands of homeless veterans to guard and seal off the Southern border until Trump’s border wall can be built.

“I think we need a moratorium on all legal immigration completely for at least five years, if not ten years,” Bernstein said. “We’ve got to eliminate birthright citizenship, we’ve got to eliminate chain migration, we’ve got to eliminate the visa lottery, we’ve got to eliminate all carrots and treats, if you will, for people to come here. And obviously building and constructing the border wall and then deporting as many criminal aliens as humanly possible.”

“I think they should quadruple the size of the Border Patrol and they should put them down on the border,” he added. “They should be stationed down on the border until the border wall is built. And I mean stationed down across the entire 1,900 miles … There is no reason we can’t have military all along the border in a big, long line.”

“A human wall, if you will,” Bernstein proposed. “You think of how many homeless veterans there are living in California and elsewhere. These people are on the streets after fighting for our country. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to grab all of them and offer them a job with a decent salary and decent pay to man our Southern border? They would be happy to do it. They’d be so thrilled to be able to do that, to protect and to serve our country again. This is what they’re born and bred to do, so why not let them continue to do that? Again, you’re helping the homeless situation; you’re getting the homeless veterans off the streets, you’re giving them values, you’re giving them self-worth, you’re making them feel like whole beings once again. I think that that’s a really good thing to do. And it solves the problem of either hiring or recruiting more Border Patrol; just use ex-military down there.”

Because walls work so well. And homeless veterans are expendable we all know that. And this really makes me wonder – what do they put in the drugs that makes people say things this fucking batshit crazy? I would think there might be a place I could go to for medical advice! As if that’s not enough, Josh Bernstein really has it in for Minnesota Rep. Ilhan Omar.

Radical right-wing commentator Josh Bernstein posted a video today in which he declared that Rep. Ilhan Omar is a “cancer” and a “jihadist terrorist” who wants to kill Americans and should be charged with treason.

“We had Ilhan Omar laughing about Al Qaida,” Bernstein fumed. “A sworn enemy of the United States, people that want to kill us and have killed Americans, she laughs about them. She said on 9/11, ‘Some people did something.’ Yeah, people that you probably knew and supported, OK, Jihad Omar? And then she supports CAIR, she supports Hamas, she supports Hezbollah, she supports the Muslim Brotherhood, she probably supports ISIS.”

“This is an infiltrator,” he added. “This is somebody that’s not a member of Congress, this is somebody that is a jihadist terrorist that is inside Congress like a cancer [that] is trying to metastasize and spread her cancerous genes to other members to infect the body of our government. She wants to kill Americans and American policy and American freedom and liberty and prosperity by spreading hatred, by spreading lies, by spreading disinformation, and basically supporting people that are against the United States.”

“For that alone, I think she is treasonous,” Bernstein declared. “I think that she should be brought up on charges of treason for her activities and her associations with known terrorist groups … I think we ought to get serious about it, because these people have infiltrated our government. They weren’t elected to represent us; they were selected to destroy us.”

Holy shit!!!!! This fucking guy is absolutely bonkers. He makes Rush Limbaugh look like a democratic sympathizer by comparison. And that’s not the craziest thing he’s said lately. He thinks that Trump should be a “dictator for patriotism”. Uh… Josh you are aware that America has fought wars over this sort of thing before, right?

Radical right-wing commentator Josh Bernstein appeared on Bill Deagel’s “NutriMedical Report Show” yesterday, where he urged President Trump to become “a dictator for patriotism” by simply ignoring Congress and implementing his entire political agenda via executive order.

Bernstein bragged that he long ago urged Trump to “declare war on Congress,” saying that people who thought he was out of his mind for advocating such a thing simply didn’t realize that he is “a visionary.”

“I’m able to see that things were never going to get better,” he said. “[Democrats] were never going to allow this president to enact his full agenda, so I said, ‘Don’t even work with them; work with the people on Twitter and Facebook that love you and follow you and you work with them. You tell them what you are going to do and you do everything else you have to do by executive order. Almost become a dictator for patriotism, if you have to.'”

“I wouldn’t say anything to Nancy Pelosi, I wouldn’t say anything to any of them, Mitch McConnell, none of them,” Bernstein added. “I would lock myself off from Congress, do what I was going to do, do it through executive orders, make the country great again, and then let the people of America decide in 2020.”

Dictator for patriotism? Is that like a tyrannical king for freedom? So we have an already toxic cocktail of hardcore Trumpism, some over the top Islamophobia, and a dash of batshit crazy. What else can we add to this already putrid mix? How about a staunch urge to bring back the electric chair? Yes, he wants to bring back some extremely cruel and inhumane punishments to squash Trump’s most vocal opponents:

Radical right-wing commentator Josh Bernstein posted a video last night in which he said that he is praying to God that Attorney General William Barr will teach “scumbags” like Peter Strzok, Lisa Page, and Andrew McCabe a lesson by putting them to death for actions he baselessly alleges to be treason.

Bernstein was outraged by reports that former Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort is set to be transferred to New York’s Rikers Island prison facility and responded by once again demanding the execution of supposed members of the so-called “deep state.”

“I’m so, so sick of this double standard B.S., two-tier justice system,” Bernstein fumed. “I hope to God and I pray to God that William Barr does the right thing and puts these ever-loving pieces of crap, deviant, scumbag you-know-whats where they belong.”

“Let’s fry these bastards,” he added. “Let’s get out Old Sparky and sit each one down. Boom, there you go. Who’s next? Boom. Page, you’re next. OK, Strzok, you’re next. McCabe, you’re next. I don’t care … These scumbags—and that’s what they are—need to be taught a lesson.”

Yes holy shit indeed! And if the electric chair isn’t your brand of fire and brimstone punishment, how about the guillotine? Yes, he actually advocates using everyone’s favorite method of putting the ultra rich people to death against Trump’s harshest critics. This guy seriously might be one of the most toxic people we’ve covered yet.

In response to special counsel Robert Mueller’s remarks on the findings of his investigation, right-wing commentator Josh Bernstein said that he hopes President Trump is sharpening up the guillotines to be used to put Mueller and other “deep state” actors to death for committing treason.

In the video posted Wednesday, Bernstein fumed that Mueller is “a slimy, sleazy, dirty, scummy cop” who had probably been paid by the Democrats to deliver his statement to give them justification for impeaching Trump.

“How much were you paid to do that press conference?” Bernstein asked. “William Barr, you need to investigate this press conference and the origins of it and who ordered it and who made it and if there was any type of payment given.”

“Dirtbags, all of you,” he fumed. “All of you are just disgusting, despicable excuses for human beings and, honestly, I hope you all go down. Treason. President Trump said treason. Guess what? I agree with that. Liz Cheney said treason and a coup. Absolutely. You know what they do for treason? U.S. Code 18 § 2381. They put you to death, that’s what they do.”

“Let’s sharpen up them guillotines, let’s bring out Old Sparky, let’s make sure that those lethal concoctions are ready to go, because you people deserve it,” Bernstein said.

So add some hardcore Trumpism, a dash of Deep State insanity, and some extreme Islamophobia and you have Josh Bernstein, this week’s:

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb: Florida Man II
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Hey it’s time for this!

Of course you know by now that people are people and people are dumb. And the last time we were in Florida we dedicated all of our edition to the crazy adventures of our good friend Florida Man. And Florida Woman. And all of the crazy people who make up America’s most penis shaped state. Is that offensive to Floridians? No? Oh, Florida doesn’t really find anything offensive. We kid, we kid. Anyway, I want to start with this story out of Gilchrest County. Yeah one guy in the audience shouts out “WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”. Thank you sir! So when you catch your wife in bed with another man, I really hope you don’t resort to a whole new level of penis envy.

GILCHRIST COUNTY, Fla. – A Florida man is accused of breaking into the home of his wife's lover, tying him up and then cutting off his penis with a pair of scissors.

The Gilchrist County Sheriff’s Office responded to a call of a “stabbing/cutting” at a mobile home on Sunday. As deputies were on their way to the mobile home, a male caller told dispatchers that an armed man, later identified as his 49-year-old neighbor Alex Bonilla, broke into his home and cut off his penis.

Upon arrival, the male caller told deputies on scene that Bonilla came over to his home and threatened to kill the man if he resisted. The man told deputies Bonilla then took him to the man’s bedroom, tied him up and then forcefully cut the man’s penis with a pair of scissors.

The man, whose penis got cut off, told deputies that Bonilla fled the scene with the man’s severed penis in his possession.


Yes, don’t fuck with us. And apparently Florida Man is in the audience tonight! Next up let’s go to the Tampa suburb of Oldsmar – OK if you’re going to rob a place… eh, do some research. Sure, cutting the power to the store might turn off the security cameras, but what about the safes? Safes don’t work on electricity, people! That should be the takeaway you get here.

A 19-year-old Oldmar man told police he shut off the power to a Dunkin Donuts and attempted to rob it because he was, "tight on money," according to arrest records. Story: http://bit.ly/2OaObcN

OLDSMAR, Fla. — A 19-year-old Oldmar man told police he shut off the power to a Dunkin Donuts and attempted to rob it because he was, "tight on money," according to arrest records.

Using an outside breaker, records show that Robert Torres turned of the power to the Dunkin Donuts on Tampa Road around 12 a.m. on Saturday.

After the power went out, the employees exited the store and were confronted by Torres. Arrest records show he was wearing a hoodie with a shirt pulled up, covering the bottom part of his face.

One of the employees began screaming and then asked Torres if they were being robbed. According to records, he responded with "yes."

Oh come on, Brooklyn has already been through enough blackouts! Next up here’s a classic Florida Man story and it just happened this week! OK look, guys get lonely, we get that. But if you’re that lonely, go out to a bar, meet people. Just don’t do this sort of thing with pool toys. And there are a hell of a lot of pool toys at that!

A Florida man has been arrested and charged after the Palm Bay Police Department said he stole pool floats for sex “instead of raping woman.”

The Brevard Times reports Christopher Monnin,35, was stopped on Thursday around 1:30 a.m. by Palm Bay Police for acting suspiciously.

Police say Monnin had with him a white garbage bag full of what he identified to police as deflated pool floats.

According to the Brevard Times, Monnin admitted to police that he has burglarized several houses to steal pool floats and then led police to a vacant house where a had a stash of about 75 pool floats.

Monnin told authorities that he “sexually gratifies himself” with the pool floats instead of raping women.

At least the pool toys don’t contain sharp objects. We hope. Next up – assault! OK there’s plenty of weird things to get arrested for, but how do you get arrested for assault with ketchup? We have a lot of questions for this story. Was in in glass or plastic bottles? Or was it in packets? Just how… who… what… where do we find these people???

A Florida man is facing a misdemeanor charge for allegedly pouring ketchup on his girlfriend while she slept.

Court documents show Peter Wagman is facing a first-degree misdemeanor domestic battery charge for the encounter that took place last Sunday.

According to an arrest report, Wagman’s girlfriend of 11 years told investigators she woke up in the middle of the night to find Wagman pouring ketchup on her and cursing at her.

Heather King told investigators they had been arguing over her infidelity before she went to sleep. The report says she was covered in ketchup.

Wagman denied the allegation, although the report says there was ketchup on his pants.

Finally this week – drinking and driving. We don’t encourage it here, so why should anyone else? And this is 2019, we have access to Uber and Lyft, yet these crimes occur day after day. But this guy might be one of the dumbest drunk drivers ever on camera. His excuse well. Let’s let the story do the talking.

A man arrested on suspicion of DUI in Florida had a creative, if ineffective defense.

During the June 27 arrest, 69-year-old Earle Stevens told officers he hadn’t been drinking and driving – he’d only been drinking at “stop signs,” according to an arrest affidavit obtained by Treasure Coast News.

Police received a 911 call after a McDonald’s drive-thru customer in Vero Beach complained of a driver behind her repeatedly bumping her car.

Indian River County sheriff’s deputies found Stevens still behind the wheel, an open bottle of booze stuffed in a paper bag on the seat next to him, according to the affidavit.

That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Keeping Up With The Candidates Ep.
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There’s so much news surrounding the 2020 election that it’s damn near impossible to keep up with it, so this will be your handy and official Top 10 guide to the 2020 MOTHER OF ALL ELECTIONS TO END ALL ELECTIONS FOR THE REST OF TIME!!! There are a whopping 24 candidates running. Or ruining depending on which way this all pans out. Plus all the other insane election news happening around the country. Last week, we took a look at the almost-rans. This week, we’re going to take a look at what’s going on in the Alabama Senate. And since there’s no candidate we’re really discussing we won’t be doing a report card. But our old buddy Roy Moore is back. Really, Alabama, have you learned nothing from the previous election? So what’s the latest?

When Roy Moore announced he was running for U.S. Senate again in 2020, the influential Senate Leadership Fund pounced.

In a June 20 statement, the Leadership Fund said it was that confident Alabama Republican voters “realize that nominating” the ex-judge would be akin to “gift-wrapping” the Senate seat for the Democrats.

Moore soon shot back, telling AL.com that he hoped the Leadership Fund won’t “turn on fellow Republicans” like it did during the 2017 special Senate election.

Thus, the gloves are off in a rematch of words pitting Moore against the super PAC and its biggest backer, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell.

Unlike 2017, when the Leadership Fund played an outsized role during Alabama’s Republican primaries, it’s expected to stay on the sidelines for the most part this time around.

“It’s more likely than not that the Senate Leadership Fund will tread lightly,” said Capri Cafaro, executive in residence at the American University School of Public Affairs in Washington, D.C.

Yeah Roy, seriously, get the fuck out of here!! You are one pathetic loser! In fact the rest of Alabama has had enough of his nonsense. I mean despite sending him packing back during the 2017 election and electing Doug Jones, how has Roy been faring in the poll numbers?

Alabama Republicans are showing little appetite for giving former state Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Moore another shot at winning a U.S. Senate seat, two years after he blew what should have been a gimme election in the ruby-red state after being embroiled in a sordid personal scandal.

A new survey from the Alabama-based polling firm Cygnal shows Moore taking just 13 percent of the vote in the Republican primary. He trails former Auburn University football coach Tommy Tuberville, who leads with 29 percent, and Rep. Bradley Byrne (R), who has 21 percent.

Alabama Secretary of State John Merrill (R), who launched his campaign Tuesday, begins with 12 percent of the vote. State Rep. Arnold Mooney (R) takes 2 percent, and 22 percent of voters say they are undecided.

Almost two-thirds of Republican voters say they have an unfavorable impression of Moore, while just 28 percent see him in a favorable light. Nearly a third of Republican voters, 31 percent, say they would consider voting for Sen. Doug Jones (D) in November if Moore captures the Senate nomination.

Yeah I don’t think Alabama wants to go through Moore’s nonsense again. But the good news is that Alabama is likely to flip again even after the Roy Moore / Doug Jones fiasco. Really they were that fucking close to electing an actual, nearly convicted pedophile to the ranks of the US Senate! At least he’d be in company with Trump on that one. Oh really we had that whole segment on murderers and that’s the joke you choose to walk out on? OK. But you’re missing 311. Anyway, moving on, if Roy Moore isn’t too fire and brimstone enough for you, Alabama has this guy!

Alabama Secretary of State John Merrill (R), a 2020 Senate candidate, says that Americans are too “preoccupied with homosexual activities” and “the wife swap shows,” ruining everything from TV to the country’s moral direction.

Merrill, one of multiple Republicans looking to challenge Sen. Doug Jones (D-Ala.) made the comments over the weekend at a town hall event in Dekalb County, according to the Yellowhammer News.

As he took questions from attendees, one asked about the culture shift and how the country’s principles have allegedly been eroded, prompting Merrill to point to what is being shown on TV, among other things.

“How have we allowed it to happen? There are no more good TV shows on like ‘Gunsmoke,’ ‘Bonanza,’ ‘The Virginian,’ ‘Andy Griffith,’ ‘I Love Lucy.’ We don’t have those shows anymore. We’re too interested in homosexual activities,” Merrill said.

Nah, homosexual activity isn’t ruining this country’s moral code. That’s the Christian right’s job! Yeah really Jesus freaks always talk a lot of shit about “moral code” but when you look at all the debauchery going on, they’re really the ones doing that. But really with these two guys at the helm of the Alabama GOP it should be easier than running unopposed. But it will be a different race because everyone knows Roy Moore’s skeletons now. And I wouldn’t be surprised if he has actual skeletons in his closet.

One of the concerns of many regarding the 2020 U.S. Senate race is with the presence of former Alabama Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Moore as a candidate, the competition will draw media scrutiny from all over the country.

On the eve of Moore’s announcement, national outlets sent reporters to be in Montgomery for his rollout.

However, in an appearance on Huntsville radio’s WVNN on Saturday, Moore said to host Shannon Moore that he did not think 2020 would be a repeat of the “vicious” 2017 contest given all of the other election campaigns that will be underway at the same time.

“I think it’s a different race,” Moore said on the “Politics and Moore” show. “I think it’s different because that was a special election. There weren’t other races going on across the country. There are hundreds of races going on across the country. Of course, you’ve got your presidents. You’ve got how many contenders for the Democratic [nomination]. There’s a lot going on that wasn’t going on then. I don’t think it will be as notable, as vicious. I mention Project Birmingham — things like that probably won’t occur because there are so many other races. Project Birmingham was a disinformation campaign, as you know, by some Democratic gurus and billionaire Reid Hoffman and George Soros, to stop my candidacy. And it was 80-something Republicans. So, I don’t think that will go on.”

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

We’re going to take a look at poll numbers on how some of your favorite Dems are doing and no, don’t bring projectiles into the audience, we’re just the messengers here!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]311[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen I am extremely excited to have my next band on, their latest album is called “Voyager”, you can see them on tour with the Dirty Heads and the Interrupters, August 3rd in Tampa and August 4th in Orlando. Playing their song “What The?!” give it up for the one, the only 311!

Thank you University Of Florida! This was fun! We will be back soon! We’re off to Baltimore and the University of Maryland next with the Wheel Of Corruption! See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: University Of Florida, Gainesville, FL
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