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Sun May 26, 2019, 10:52 AM

Eggs to be legally reclassified as chicken in Alabama restaurants

...The decision was made after a group of pro-animal life activists put pressure on the state government.

‘The moment an egg passes through a hen’s vagina, it becomes a chicken. To treat them any differently would be cruel and should be punished by God,’ said Billie Jean Bob Cooter.

The move is expected to cause mass confusion at eateries. Customers who ask for chicken could get either the traditional interpretation of chicken or the new classification.

‘Customers will not be allowed to differentiate between the two. That would be bigoted and wrong,’ said Senator Bob Billy Jean Cooter....


http://www.dailysquat.com/eggs-to-be-legally-reclassified-as-chicken-in-alabama-restaurants/?utm_campaign=shareaholic&utm_medium=facebook&utm_source=socialnetwork&fbclid=IwAR2cN33-BRb4w2_dAA7J295lUdCjkQm8DGyLyLZzKGeJcG71gvlQw2CjW2k

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Arrow 52 replies Author Time Post
Reply Eggs to be legally reclassified as chicken in Alabama restaurants (Original post)
mia May 26 OP
Me. May 26 #1
ooky May 26 #2
Me. May 26 #4
ck4829 Tuesday #47
Archae May 26 #3
Me. May 26 #7
zentrum May 26 #13
mia May 26 #5
cwydro May 26 #8
Dennis Donovan May 26 #10
cwydro May 26 #21
erronis May 26 #22
Collimator May 26 #14
NickB79 May 26 #38
JustFiveMoreMinutes May 26 #31
trev May 26 #27
Me. May 26 #32
trev May 26 #41
PufPuf23 May 26 #36
trev May 26 #40
tblue37 May 26 #43
jcgoldie May 26 #6
Bernardo de La Paz May 26 #9
TheBlackAdder May 26 #11
JHB May 26 #12
keithbvadu2 May 26 #17
ck4829 Tuesday #48
cab67 May 26 #15
pandr32 May 26 #18
erronis May 26 #23
OxQQme May 26 #16
samnsara May 26 #19
Mendocino May 26 #20
tinrobot May 26 #24
PatrickforO May 26 #26
ck4829 Tuesday #49
PatrickforO May 26 #25
tblue37 May 26 #44
PatrickforO May 26 #45
democratisphere May 26 #28
ck4829 Tuesday #50
question everything May 26 #29
NurseJackie May 26 #30
stillcool May 26 #33
PufPuf23 May 26 #34
Backseat Driver May 26 #35
Sophiegirl Tuesday #51
magicarpet May 26 #37
underpants May 26 #39
UpInArms May 26 #42
ck4829 Tuesday #46
tymorial Tuesday #52

Response to mia (Original post)

Sun May 26, 2019, 11:08 AM

1. Is This A Joke

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Response to Me. (Reply #1)

Sun May 26, 2019, 11:10 AM

2. It's a good joke.

I laughed.

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Response to ooky (Reply #2)

Sun May 26, 2019, 11:11 AM

4. Considering It Was Cited As Alabama

nothing is out of the realm of reality

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Response to Me. (Reply #4)

Tue Jun 11, 2019, 06:50 AM

47. Indeed

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Response to Me. (Reply #1)

Sun May 26, 2019, 11:11 AM

3. Satire site.

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Response to Archae (Reply #3)

Sun May 26, 2019, 11:33 AM

7. There Is No Such Thing As Satire These Days

something else traitor trump has ruined

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Response to Me. (Reply #7)

Sun May 26, 2019, 12:20 PM

13. Yup. Only irony lives on.

And tragedy. And farce.

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Response to Me. (Reply #1)

Sun May 26, 2019, 11:24 AM

5. It's meant to be a joke, unless...

3 Morally-Sobering Reasons Vegans Don’t Eat Eggs

Vegans avoid all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals for food, clothing or any other purpose. So of course, vegans do not eat eggs.

“But why not”? I hear you ask. “Eating an egg doesn't kill a chicken, and it's only going to waste, right”?

Wrong.

This is a common misconception, and the reason the consumption of eggs is still a hotly contested topic by meat eaters, and even some vegetarians....

WARNING: If you're sensitive to animal cruelty, I must warn you that this post contains video clips that will upset you.

https://www.theplantway.com/why-vegans-dont-eat-eggs/

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Response to mia (Reply #5)

Sun May 26, 2019, 11:35 AM

8. Eggs can only become chickens if there's a rooster involved.

My five ladies lay daily. No roosters here, so the eggs won’t ever be chickens.

Good eggs too!

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Response to cwydro (Reply #8)

Sun May 26, 2019, 12:07 PM

10. No peckers?



I couldn't resist.

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Response to Dennis Donovan (Reply #10)

Sun May 26, 2019, 01:15 PM

21. Lol, they're nothing but trouble.

I tried, but gave up on the peckers.

The ladies seem happier too.

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Response to Dennis Donovan (Reply #10)

Sun May 26, 2019, 01:18 PM

22. You mean donald (grab them by the p....)'s friend? Peckers are a dime a dozen.

And they're nothing but trouble.

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Response to cwydro (Reply #8)

Sun May 26, 2019, 12:30 PM

14. Thanks for that confirmation.

I had wondered whether or not hens and other birds laid eggs in the way that human women ovulate. With no male involved, there is still an egg, but it cannot turn into a fetus of any kind.

Mind you, I do know that chickens don't have vaginas but rather cloacas. What I find fascinating is that roosters, like many male birds, do not have a standard type penis, but actually have something like a cloaca as well. Some male birds do have a penis, but given the male chicken is often referred to as a cock, there is a certain irony in its anatomy.

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Response to Collimator (Reply #14)

Sun May 26, 2019, 02:34 PM

38. Yep, tons of irony there

If we wanted to nickname our penises after a bird, we should be calling them drake's, a male duck. All you have to do is Google 'duck penis' to see why 😲

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Response to cwydro (Reply #8)

Sun May 26, 2019, 01:51 PM

31. LOL! You're talking BIOLOGY, Alabama doesn't KNOW Biology so the bill could stand! HA!

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Response to Me. (Reply #1)

Sun May 26, 2019, 01:35 PM

27. I thought this was a hilarious joke.

"Senator Bob Billy Jean Cooter." Priceless!

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Response to trev (Reply #27)

Sun May 26, 2019, 01:55 PM

32. And I

didn't place it beyond the possibility that one of their state senators had such a name per Dukes of H., it being Alabama and all

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Response to Me. (Reply #32)

Sun May 26, 2019, 04:21 PM

41. heh

After that show, Ben Jones became a Democratic politician. So I guess your surmising has some merit.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Jones_(American_actor_and_politician)

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Response to trev (Reply #27)

Sun May 26, 2019, 02:06 PM

36. Once upon a time I had a girl friend from the South who

called her private bits her "cooter" thus expanding my vocabulary.

Have only been to Alabama once long ago but many there have a mind wired in ways hard to comprehend.

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Response to PufPuf23 (Reply #36)

Sun May 26, 2019, 04:16 PM

40. Never been to Alabama myself

but I spent a good amount of time in Georgia when I was in the army. I was amazed at how many of the locals despised the military--not only did I think of the South as very patriotic, but without Fort Gordon Augusta would have been nothing but a golf tourist town.

Don't know what it's like there today. I hope their attitudes have changed.

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Response to Me. (Reply #1)

Sun May 26, 2019, 06:51 PM

43. Obviously. The name "Cooter" makes that clear. But it references the anti-abortion laws. nt

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Response to mia (Original post)

Sun May 26, 2019, 11:24 AM

6. This is awesome!

Thank you!

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Response to mia (Original post)


Response to mia (Original post)

Sun May 26, 2019, 12:10 PM

11. Shit! My cat and dogs were pregnant and I had to buy tags for all of their embryos at $20 a pop.

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Response to mia (Original post)

Sun May 26, 2019, 12:11 PM

12. Cutting the gordian knot of the "which came first" problem, I see.

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Response to JHB (Reply #12)

Sun May 26, 2019, 12:42 PM

17. First?

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Response to JHB (Reply #12)

Tue Jun 11, 2019, 06:51 AM

48. Ha

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Response to mia (Original post)

Sun May 26, 2019, 12:32 PM

15. I was going to comment on its accuracy before realizing it's satire

Birds, reptiles, and egg-laying mammals don’t have vaginas the way therian mammals do. Gametes and waste emerge from the same opening (the cloaca).

As my developmental biology professor used to say, such animals do’t know whether they’re coming or going.

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Response to cab67 (Reply #15)

Sun May 26, 2019, 12:45 PM

18. That last line cracked me up!

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Response to pandr32 (Reply #18)

Sun May 26, 2019, 01:20 PM

23. Agree. And sometimes I feel that way too. Old age, etc....

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Response to mia (Original post)

Sun May 26, 2019, 12:36 PM

16. OK then, how would you ask for them over easy?

Or scrambled?

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Response to mia (Original post)

Sun May 26, 2019, 12:48 PM

19. omg i cant tell fact from fiction

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Response to mia (Original post)

Sun May 26, 2019, 01:13 PM

20. Senator

Bob Billy Jean Cooter

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Response to mia (Original post)

Sun May 26, 2019, 01:25 PM

24. So... an Egg Salad Sandwich is also a Chicken Salad Sandwich?

That's gonna make menus awfully confusing.

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Response to tinrobot (Reply #24)

Sun May 26, 2019, 01:29 PM

26. Yeah, especially if you like egg salad better than chicken salad!

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Response to tinrobot (Reply #24)

Tue Jun 11, 2019, 06:51 AM

49. Right

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Response to mia (Original post)

Sun May 26, 2019, 01:29 PM

25. Funny.

Mass confusion indeed. Especially the use of the surname 'cooter' which is a more gentle way of saying redneck. Very cute.

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Response to PatrickforO (Reply #25)

Sun May 26, 2019, 06:55 PM

44. Yes, but "cooter" has another slang meaning, too. (Think of what Trump likes to grab.) nt

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Response to tblue37 (Reply #44)

Sun May 26, 2019, 07:43 PM

45. Oh. Sorry.

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Response to mia (Original post)

Sun May 26, 2019, 01:35 PM

28. What a f'ed-up country this is.

Last edited Sun May 26, 2019, 02:46 PM - Edit history (1)

Soft boiled, hard boiled or scrambled chicken?

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Response to democratisphere (Reply #28)

Tue Jun 11, 2019, 06:52 AM

50. LOL

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Response to mia (Original post)

Sun May 26, 2019, 01:38 PM

29. Thanks. I needed that


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Response to mia (Original post)

Sun May 26, 2019, 01:45 PM

30. Oh dear!


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Response to mia (Original post)

Sun May 26, 2019, 01:59 PM

33. sad me...

has no sense of humor.

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Response to mia (Original post)

Sun May 26, 2019, 02:03 PM

34. But hens do not have vaginas (nor lips) nt

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Response to mia (Original post)

Sun May 26, 2019, 02:05 PM

35. But, but...what if those white babies-to-be come from a duck or other bird creature???

Then, too, what about the brown babies to be??? Are they thought to be inferior in Alabama and other Red Cock-adoodle-doo states???

We have domestic ducks on our community pond. I've read they don't often go "broody" and hatch young; furthermore, in general, they are poor parents who allow their kids to go unsupervised, so we've run a rescue and release project the last couple years. Thing is, I can't find where the girls have been layin' this year. I know they are mature and one actually has a nest probably pipping next week, so where be all the eggies from the other 6 females? Are they releasing them in the water?

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Response to Backseat Driver (Reply #35)

Tue Jun 11, 2019, 07:01 AM

51. I get green eggs from my farmers' market

Would they be considered illegal aliens and thus deported?

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Response to mia (Original post)

Sun May 26, 2019, 02:29 PM

37. Used Tampons and old dirty used prophylactics are now called children by...

... the extreme Fascist "Christian" Right.

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Response to mia (Original post)

Sun May 26, 2019, 02:41 PM

39. Paul Simon wrote "Mother and hike reunion"after seeing a dish by that name on Chinese restaurant men

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Response to mia (Original post)

Sun May 26, 2019, 06:43 PM

42. Thanks for that

I love satire

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Response to mia (Original post)

Tue Jun 11, 2019, 06:49 AM

46. Kick

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Response to mia (Original post)

Tue Jun 11, 2019, 07:02 AM

52. Poe's law dictates that someone will believe this and call the state offices.

I guarantee it.

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