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Sat May 4, 2019, 02:28 PM

I was asked for a joke describing the difference between D's and R's...

This is what I sent.

A hurricane caused a billion dollars in damage to public infrastructure like bridges, roads and parks. The Republican president called a special session of Congress to discuss how to fix it.

A Democratic Congressman stood up. “Mr. President, I recommend we send the 10th Mountain Division, a fleet of dump trucks and loaders, and a team from the Army Corps of Engineers to the disaster area. While the 10th Mountain is busy running refugee camps and removing debris, the Corps of Engineers will decide what needs to be fixed and how much it’ll cost. Then we fund the reconstruction effort using tax dollars. It’s simple and efficient, and we’ve done it before so we know exactly how. I estimate the total outlay to be $1.2 billion and it’ll take a year to completely recover.”

A Republican Congressman then took the podium. “Mr. President, I recommend that instead of sending Government Welfare to the disaster area, we set up a Faith Based Private Sector Disaster Relief Charity and cut taxes on the population segment earning more than $500,000 per year by $5 billion. The people who receive this tax cut will be so grateful, they will donate all of it to the charity. It will only take six months to recover under my plan.”

Because the president is a Republican, he naturally selects the second option. Six months later, roughly $75 million has been donated to the charity. It took 75 percent of the donated total as “administrative costs” and the rest of the money was embezzled. None of the money ever made it to the disaster area. Eight months after the disaster happened, the 10th Mountain and the Corps of Engineers were finally deployed. The report from the Engineers commander was grim: “Due to inexplicable delays in starting work and subsequent damage due to weather conditions in the relief area, construction costs will likely be at least triple what they would have been if reconstruction would have started immediately after the hurricane.” It took three years to rebuild. The total bill for recovery came to $7 billion, in addition to the $5 billion tax cut, and 25 percent of the population of the area moved away because they couldn’t stand to live there any longer.

Wait. That’s not a joke. That’s how Republicans really do business.

14 replies, 2657 views

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Arrow 14 replies Author Time Post
Reply I was asked for a joke describing the difference between D's and R's... (Original post)
jmowreader May 4 OP
dawg day May 4 #1
lunatica May 4 #2
Brawndo May 4 #3
marble falls May 4 #4
Poiuyt May 11 #12
sandensea May 4 #5
TlalocW May 4 #6
jmowreader May 11 #14
ProudProgressiveNow May 4 #7
mountain grammy May 4 #8
onethatcares May 4 #9
jmowreader May 4 #10
sharedvalues May 11 #11
elocs May 11 #13

Response to jmowreader (Original post)

Sat May 4, 2019, 02:33 PM

1. AND the GOP will use that as an example of why government is bad.

"Look how much it cost once the government got involved!"

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Response to jmowreader (Original post)

Sat May 4, 2019, 02:34 PM

2. Then they privatized the construction work and hired illegals

to cut costs, housing them in dog cages. They sold opioids to the citizens to finance the work.

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Response to jmowreader (Original post)

Sat May 4, 2019, 02:55 PM

3. "Republicans say government doesn't work, then they get elected and prove it." P.J. O'rourke

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Response to jmowreader (Original post)

Sat May 4, 2019, 03:19 PM

4. I'd say what my socialist grandfather told me was the difference but I don't want a hide!

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Response to marble falls (Reply #4)

Sat May 11, 2019, 05:50 PM

12. Come on!

Don't leave us hanging!

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Response to jmowreader (Original post)

Sat May 4, 2019, 04:06 PM

5. Perfect.

Everything's a racket to modern-day Republicans, and they never let a good disaster go to waste.



"Yeah, yeah. Brownie. Cut the shit. Just tell me: how much money is this thing for us?"

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Response to jmowreader (Original post)

Sat May 4, 2019, 04:12 PM

6. A construction project needed to be done

And the city's mayor had winnowed the companies applying to do the job down to two - one run by a republican and one run by a democrat. The mayor had them come to his office to discuss costs. The democrat went first, made his presentation, and said, "And I believe we can do it for $2000." The republican then made his presentation, and the mayor asked what it would cost. "$12,000," replied the republican. "$12,000??? How did you get to that amount considering how the previous guy said $2000?" "Easy," said the republican. "$5000 for you; $5000 for me, and we get the democrat to do the work."

TlalocW

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Response to TlalocW (Reply #6)

Sat May 11, 2019, 05:55 PM

14. That's not the way it works at all, and you know it

It's more like $7000 to the Republican, $3000 to the mayor and they hire the Democrat for $2000.

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Response to jmowreader (Original post)

Sat May 4, 2019, 04:34 PM

7. KR NT

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Response to jmowreader (Original post)

Sat May 4, 2019, 04:59 PM

8. K & R

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Response to jmowreader (Original post)

Sat May 4, 2019, 05:21 PM

9. may I?

borrow this?

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Response to onethatcares (Reply #9)

Sat May 4, 2019, 05:43 PM

10. Absolutely!

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Response to jmowreader (Original post)

Sat May 11, 2019, 03:35 PM

11. And the rich people got everyone's money!

That’s the real key to Republican policies.

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Response to jmowreader (Original post)

Sat May 11, 2019, 05:53 PM

13. D's and R's, just opposite sides of the same coin,

opposite tribes that cannot just disagree with one another but must claim the other is evil and has evil motives. We both practice confirmation bias and only read, hear, or view what reaffirms our beliefs and confirms to us that we are absolutely right, or left, as the case may be.
The irony is that no matter who gets elected to what, the tens of millions of supporters on the other side are going nowhere.
But am I the opposite side or are they?

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