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Thu Mar 14, 2019, 02:59 PM

"If you had done what he said, he wouldn't have to do this."

That was my mother’s comment as I was being dragged down the stairs by my hair many years ago. Her words affected me like third-degree burns. They stung and I cried. I stopped fighting back, stopped trying to save myself, got quiet. I just wanted to stop breathing.

Years later, I still struggle with the question....how? How could anyone stand by and watch another person be abusive? Not only watch, but participate in a cowardly hands-off way? This memory comes to mind much too often lately. I honestly believe it’s because of Donald Trump. Seriously, how can some people just stand by and do nothing? Say nothing?

Some folks laugh at Donald Trump. They think he’s dumb. I think Trump is extremely dangerous. Nothing that matters to decent people means anything to him. Nothing. He doesn’t have a conscience to guide him, or empathy to check him. He just plays King of the Mountain like a ten year old bully. No rules, no oversight, he just flings people any way he wants.

I would not stand beside him, sit at his table, ride in his car, accept a phone call from him, allow a conversation with him, be in the same room as him, or let him anywhere near my daughter. There is nothing and nobody he wouldn’t sell out. No law he wouldn’t break. No tradition he wouldn’t demean. He’s a cold-blooded thug surrounded by enablers willing to nod in his direction in exchange for a piece of his putrid pie.

This is not the time to be tame or timid or stay quiet or not make waves. We need to take it to him, push aside his cronies, and expose him for the dangerous, thuggish, traitor he is.





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Arrow 55 replies Author Time Post
Reply "If you had done what he said, he wouldn't have to do this." (Original post)
democrank Mar 14 OP
magicarpet Mar 14 #1
BigmanPigman Mar 14 #9
Post removed Mar 14 #2
rainin Mar 14 #3
MyOwnPeace Mar 14 #7
lame54 Mar 14 #4
FiveGoodMen Mar 14 #22
spike91nz Mar 14 #5
Control-Z Mar 14 #6
Rorey Mar 14 #26
Control-Z Tuesday #55
lapislzi Mar 15 #43
debsy Mar 14 #8
olegramps Mar 14 #17
Kurt V. Mar 14 #20
olegramps Mar 14 #32
FiveGoodMen Mar 14 #23
Javaman Mar 14 #10
Rainngirl Mar 14 #11
GetRidOfThem Mar 14 #12
PatSeg Mar 14 #13
catbyte Mar 14 #14
calimary Mar 15 #40
uponit7771 Mar 15 #41
lunatica Mar 15 #47
catbyte Mar 15 #54
Ferrets are Cool Mar 14 #15
certainot Mar 14 #16
dchill Mar 14 #18
agingdem Mar 14 #19
lunatica Mar 15 #48
agingdem Mar 15 #51
lunatica Mar 15 #52
colorado_ufo Mar 14 #21
TEB Mar 14 #24
MLAA Mar 14 #25
watoos Mar 14 #27
usrbs Mar 15 #45
procon Mar 14 #28
lunatica Mar 15 #49
Ohiogal Mar 14 #29
Maraya1969 Mar 14 #30
Dan Mar 14 #31
llmart Mar 14 #33
spanone Mar 14 #34
Blue Owl Mar 14 #35
geralmar Mar 14 #36
struggle4progress Mar 15 #37
cpamomfromtexas Mar 15 #38
Duppers Mar 15 #39
raccoon Mar 15 #42
Neema Mar 15 #44
dalton99a Mar 15 #46
lunatica Mar 15 #50
malaise Mar 15 #53

Response to democrank (Original post)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 03:16 PM

1. Treason and Fascism again and again and everyone just turns and looks the other way...

Nixon treason,
Reagan treason,
Poppy Bush treason,
Bush/Cheney treason,
trDump treason.....

Nothing is ever done. So they come back a little later and commit a more severe scheme of treason.

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Response to magicarpet (Reply #1)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 03:40 PM

9. The GOP has a really great history since Nixon.

When will Americans learn from history? I suspect the answer is NEVER. We are doomed to have another tRump.

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Response to democrank (Original post)


Response to democrank (Original post)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 03:17 PM

3. Well said.

I was trying to articulate this sentiment this morning about the Conways. George pretends to be incensed about Trump's lies while living with the master liar who helped put him there and who defends him to this day. I would not spend 5 minutes with her. I wouldn't sit at her table. I wouldn't let her in my house or pretend to be her friend. That he remains married to her speaks louder than his righteous rants about the president.

Your story is heart wrenching. Your mom had to be broken inside to not stand up for you. I hope for you continued strength and resilience.

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Response to rainin (Reply #3)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 03:37 PM

7. Same here, Demo,

it just baffles one's brain how anybody can stand by and let this happen. Perhaps most concerning of all is the group of elected representatives in DC that have taken an oath to do what is right for our country! Do they have NO principles, NO honor, NO intelligence? Do they not realize what they are doing to their/our children, their/our country?

Our hope is that there is indeed enough people out there that DO see what needs to be done and will not be swayed by ANYTHING that would prevent them from VOTING for what is right.

Peace to you, Demo.

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Response to democrank (Original post)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 03:26 PM

4. What's the plan Phil?

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Response to lame54 (Reply #4)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 05:24 PM

22. That was a great episode!

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Response to democrank (Original post)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 03:27 PM

5. Well said

Trump exhibits an abuser’s mentality.

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Response to democrank (Original post)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 03:35 PM

6. Who did this to you, democrank?

"...as I was being dragged down the stairs by my hair many years ago."

I feel the same as you. I was abused by my father as a child. There was no one there to stop him. My mother was already dead. (I don't remember what she did when he was hurting me while she was still alive. But he beat her too.) My sister was only a year older. There was little she could do. Though, one time while he was beating me, he yelled out to my sister to stop him before he killed me.

I don't understand how anyone can abuse a child. I don't understand how anyone can stand back and allow another to be abused.

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Response to Control-Z (Reply #6)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 06:04 PM

26. My heart hurts knowing there are people like your father in this world.

I'm so sorry that you and the OP had to endure such abuse.

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Response to Rorey (Reply #26)

Tue Mar 19, 2019, 07:26 PM

55. Thank you, Rorey.

I know this thread is old at this point but it has weighed heavily on my mind. I appreciate your kind words. I wanted you to know that.

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Response to Control-Z (Reply #6)

Fri Mar 15, 2019, 10:06 AM

43. People are broken. This excuses nothing.

They get broken by their parents and go on to break other people.

Except when they don't. It takes a lot of insight, courage, and self-reflection, to realize that you're broken and do something about it. Many can't.

I was one of the lucky ones. With the help of good counselors and trusted friends, I was able to heal--and not break my own child. The hard part is keeping those awful feelings in the front of your mind--how it felt when the broken person was breaking you. Keeping that part of you accessible, as painful as it is, keeps your empathy alive, and reminds you where the buck stops.

I am so sorry for your pain, democrank (and other like posters on this thread). I wish you healing and light.

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Response to democrank (Original post)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 03:40 PM

8. Completely agree

He is the lowest form of life on the planet and very dangerous because, as you stated, he has no conscience. Nor do any of his supporters. I can't laugh at any of the jokes about him anymore. I'm sure this is how many Germans felt in the early years of Hitler's ascent to power. We can't sit by anymore and let them get away with this. We need to DO something.

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Response to debsy (Reply #8)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 04:28 PM

17. What is justified to stop evil predators? What action would have been justified to stop Hitler?

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Response to olegramps (Reply #17)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 05:02 PM

20. first you would need a consensus that he's *evil* . Neither had/has that.

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Response to Kurt V. (Reply #20)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 10:00 PM

32. Objectively or Subjectively? Or could it be both?

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Response to olegramps (Reply #17)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 05:26 PM

23. Any and All actions gets my vote

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Response to democrank (Original post)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 03:42 PM

10. there will always be "good germans". nt

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Response to democrank (Original post)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 03:43 PM

11. Absolutely BEAUTIFULLY said, democrank!

I feel exactly the same way. How his moronic supporters gather around him and try to get him to notice them, try to shake his disgusting bloated hand... it all just makes me sick!
I'm so sorry about how you were treated. I also knew I had to do what my dad said, but I only got whipped with a maple tree switch or smacked with his hand. I knew he wouldn't kill me, but I knew I would have bruises. That was the way that generation (WWII) did "discipline." Now, no one gets more than one chance to hurt me. Bless you and I hope you are happy and safe now.

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Response to democrank (Original post)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 03:59 PM

12. You are 100% on target! n/t

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Response to democrank (Original post)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 04:05 PM

13. And later those "enablers" will

claim they didn't realize what was happening and try to save face. Or some might even claim they were working behind the scenes to contain the madman. Unfortunately for them, they've let it go on for too long and they are all complicit. Someone like Trump cannot reach such heights of power without the self-serving bootlickers propping him up.

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Response to democrank (Original post)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 04:15 PM

14. Absolutely.

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Response to catbyte (Reply #14)

Fri Mar 15, 2019, 03:00 AM

40. Whoa.

No freakin’ kidding.

When does this END? And when some kind of halt to this truly disturbing time finally occurs, will we ever recover?

My mom had an abusive dad. He was horrible to all his kids. When he died, she told me she looked down into the open casket and thought “you can’t hurt me anymore.”

I’ll never understand how one human being can treat another human being that way.

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Response to catbyte (Reply #14)

Fri Mar 15, 2019, 06:38 AM

41. +1

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Response to catbyte (Reply #14)

Fri Mar 15, 2019, 02:47 PM

47. Dear catbte

I think you should post this picture in a thread of its own. It is profound and timely and predictive if, as we all know does happen, history repeats itself.

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Response to lunatica (Reply #47)

Fri Mar 15, 2019, 06:46 PM

54. Will do.

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Response to democrank (Original post)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 04:20 PM

15. +1

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Response to democrank (Original post)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 04:24 PM

16. every day his friend and palm beach neighbor leads a chorus of ignorant racist liars on

1500 radio stations in excusing and rationalizing the orange shithead

when the left finally challenges rw radio his whole support base will fall apart and the gop senators will drop him to save themselves

a massive boycott of limbaugh and all rw talk radio, with protests at the 88+ universities that support 260 limbaugh stations, will destroy what has become the party of limbaugh and trump will go to jail

rw radio is the only advantage he has and what got him in the white house. it offers the best opportunity to end this crap. it depends on being invisible to the left, dems, liberals, and all it would take is inform the advertising industry that moves often unknowing and sometimes unwilling clients onto those stations to pay for that crap that they're going to have to start asking clients if they actually support trump and global warming denial. it needs to be reduced to actual demand for the hate and lies and 1500 radio stations will be reduced to a few hundred, with many opening up for liberal talkers.

as long as those stations can keep blowing in his sails and making excuses for him he's going to be able to push enough senators into keeping him in office.

we can't wait and our orgs and the dem party can end this quick if they pull the ear pods out

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Response to democrank (Original post)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 04:47 PM

18. I could not disagree in ANY way.

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Response to democrank (Original post)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 04:55 PM

19. kinship

Last edited Thu Mar 14, 2019, 08:28 PM - Edit history (1)

My father was a a cruel violent man...my mother was damaged and docile but cruel in her own way...my father never hit my mother, he didn't have to, but he beat me.. I hated him but she was no better, in fact, worse and I hated her more for it...my father was a visceral man so when he had a bad day at the office he needed to release his rage and my mother made sure I was the target...and after one of many particularly vicious beatings, I asked her why she let him hurt me, her response: "if he hit me, too, I couldn't clean your wounds"...I was 7...

This loathing I have for Donald Trump is as palpable as I had for my parents...he's dangerous in his stupidity and his need to incite violence upon those he sees as "the other", he's dangerous in his utter disregard for human life...but what's even more abhorrent it's his terrifying ability to bring out the worst in the worst..I want Trump out of our White House, I want him put away where he can no longer impose his ghoulish and insatiable need to suck the blood out of everything that is good about the United States...I want him gone

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Response to agingdem (Reply #19)

Fri Mar 15, 2019, 03:06 PM

48. Your post

made me cry. I wish I could hug and protect and comfort your 7 year old self.

I was molested by a pedophile when I was 6. I know how abuse becomes the foundation of the rest of your life. How it stains you, your relationships and your choices for life, like venom that permeates everything.

In my 40s I therapeutically imagined myself speaking to my 6 year old self and taking her in my arms and thanking her for finding a way to survive and be strong. It changed my life.

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Response to lunatica (Reply #48)

Fri Mar 15, 2019, 05:01 PM

51. what doesn't kill you makes you stronger is total crap..

what doesn't kill you breaks you into a million tiny pieces...I remember when my mother was at the end of her life she chastised me for holding on to the past..it was so long ago she said...no, I told her it was yesterday, and will forever be yesterday...

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Response to agingdem (Reply #51)

Fri Mar 15, 2019, 06:16 PM

52. Yes. It's always there.

It never goes away.

Now that I’m in my 70s I find myself wondering what I would be like if it hadn’t happened. It has been a fundamental wound which influenced everything in my life. So much so that I can’t imagine what my life would be. How I would be.

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Response to democrank (Original post)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 05:15 PM

21. Absolute best description of the man I have ever read.

Spot-on perfect.

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Response to democrank (Original post)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 05:36 PM

24. Awesome post democrank

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Response to democrank (Original post)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 05:48 PM

25. So glad you survived and can now speak your peace loudly! 🌷🌺🌿🌸☀️😉

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Response to democrank (Original post)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 06:08 PM

27. This thread is why

I have only one criteria for voting for our nominees.
He/she has to be tough as nails. I don’t really care about policy at this point. Policy means nothing if we lose. We need someone who will stand toe to toe with Trump. So far I back Kamala and Tulsi, a former prosecutor and former military.

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Response to watoos (Reply #27)

Fri Mar 15, 2019, 12:13 PM

45. Agreed 100% N/T

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Response to democrank (Original post)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 06:19 PM

28. Something like the Stockhom Syndrome has

taken control of the GOP. They are sycophants, clownishly giddy in their eager, overweening exaltation of Trump. This unwarranted praise only feeds the beast and swells Trump's already swollen ego, encouraging him to do still more outrageous behaviors to please the crowd.

Underneath all the clapping and psalm singing adoration of Trump, Republicans are shivering in terror, scared to death that Trump will find their idolatry lacking. A word of disapproval from Trump is a career ending sentence that comes with death threats from the rabid base.

Republicans created this monster. Its been their treasured goal for decades, and they've worked hard to attract and shape a voting base that is volatile, fearful, ignorant and filled with hate filled rage at everything outside the group think of the tribe.

The only way to drive the rabid right back under the rocks is to expose Trump for what he is. As Trump loses power and begins to appear weak, his base will vanish and maybe we can see Defendant Trump testifying in a public trial.

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Response to procon (Reply #28)

Fri Mar 15, 2019, 03:13 PM

49. You're right

We can’t win them over nor should we try. If we win they will still rage, only they’ll be toothless and relegating to the dustbin od history or back into their hateful closet.

They should consider themselves lucky that we won’t subject them to the violence they’d gladly unleash on us.

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Response to democrank (Original post)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 06:21 PM

29. Very powerful post

I hope you live in peace now.

All others here as well. I agree with all of you

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Response to democrank (Original post)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 06:21 PM

30. I'm sorry you had to go through that Demo. It sounds like your mom was abused also and

believed she couldn't say anything. I do believe that all things that happen to us are meant to help us learn something in this trip around this world. You have become an outspoken Democrat which means you have a big heart and that is wonderful!

My family was Republican but because of what I went through as a teen and young adult I was exposed to things my brother wasn't. I'm a bleeding heart liberal and he is a white evangelical Christian conservative Trump supporter.

I much prefer the direction my life went.

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Response to democrank (Original post)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 06:31 PM

31. I read something the other day, not sure where... maybe here on DU,

but a doctor who interrogated some of the people from the Nazi regime - said that the one common trait that they all shared, was a lack of empathy.

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Response to democrank (Original post)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 10:14 PM

33. What an amazing post.

You said it all quite eloquently and in a way all of us should understand. Thank you for this post. It explains how I feel too.

There are so many threads on DU on a daily basis that have funny pokes at Trump and funny memes, etc. I admit I read some of them. We laugh at his silly tweets, try to figure out what he's saying with his gibberish, etc. etc. But quite frankly I'm exhausted at all the threads that we guffaw at when this is truly a serious matter. This is how abusers get people to look the other way. They cause chaos everywhere they go. They don't know how to live if they're not causing chaos and keeping everyone off kilter. It's what they do. It's what supreme narcissists do. They manipulate people by keeping them off kilter. They never change. They get worse as they get older.

I speak from experience too.

I'm not optimistic that he can be stopped any time soon. How long are we going to let this go on? The majority of Americans just laugh or shake their heads and won't rise up to tell Congress to do something, NOW before it's too late.

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Response to democrank (Original post)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 10:32 PM

34. K&R...👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

.... The most dangerous man in the world. Ever.

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Response to democrank (Original post)

Thu Mar 14, 2019, 11:55 PM

35. K and fucking R

Sing it, Sister -- I am right there with you.

Fuck Donald Trump and every rotten, miserable thing he stands for.

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Response to democrank (Original post)


Response to democrank (Original post)

Fri Mar 15, 2019, 12:02 AM

37. "It was all very careless and confused. They were careless people, Tom and Daisy - they smashed up

things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness, or whatever it was that kept them together and let other people clean up the mess they had made"

The Great Gatsby
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald

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Response to democrank (Original post)

Fri Mar 15, 2019, 12:26 AM

38. I am so sorry. My mother was the same way. My father was a brute. He thought the size

Of his bank account made him a success. Never mind that it never benefited us.

They didn’t heat the house in the winter but he has a million dollar airplane.

After much therapy, I am dealing with it better now. But I had to cut them off because I could no longer deal with the abuse or the crimes they have committed in the last year.

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Response to democrank (Original post)

Fri Mar 15, 2019, 01:20 AM

39. Big K&R

I can empathize and my heart breaks for you. My father was terrible but not to the degree yours was. And my mother was the same as yours; she was a self-protecting enabler, a cover-up artist who cared more about what her friends and neighbors thought. Crazy thru and thru and I despise them both.

There's a common thread that runs thru Republicans.

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Response to democrank (Original post)

Fri Mar 15, 2019, 07:45 AM

42. I'm so glad you survived your abusers.

Last edited Fri Mar 15, 2019, 08:52 AM - Edit history (1)

Great post.

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Response to democrank (Original post)

Fri Mar 15, 2019, 11:35 AM

44. "Well, don't push her buttons." A chillingly similar phrase we heard a lot

as kids. Don't push her buttons. A grown-ass man saw that his wife was out of control and abusive, and his solution was to tell his children that they were responsible for keeping her calm. Aside from the fact that we were CHILDREN and still learning how to behave, how to react, and how to have impulse control, all from a woman who possessed none of these skills, it was IMPOSSIBLE for ANYONE to determine from one minute to the next what exactly would or wouldn't "push her buttons." It could be as small as a single fork left in the wrong place. Or a wet spot on the floor (that later turned out to be a pipe leak that was no one's fault–not that we ever got an apology for her subsequent rampage). Or it could be nothing you did at all. You could be reading quietly in your clean room after doing all your chores and she'd still kick down the door in a rage for some perceived infraction.

I struggle with all the same questions my friend. And I will not be timid or quiet. I will make all the fucking waves I can.

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Response to democrank (Original post)

Fri Mar 15, 2019, 12:15 PM

46. Kick

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Response to dalton99a (Reply #46)

Fri Mar 15, 2019, 03:28 PM

50. Thank you for posting this thread

Reading your story and all the responses and because of my experience with sexual abuse as a child I realize how important it is to post your story and allow so many others to respond with theirs. I did respond to one poster but I feel so many here might find my response a little helpful. Please read post #48. I hope you accept my virtual hug.

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Response to democrank (Original post)

Fri Mar 15, 2019, 06:23 PM

53. Nailed him

Wow! Rec

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