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Sun Feb 10, 2019, 07:27 PM

Sometimes You Make Your Rapist Breakfast

https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a19158567/what-is-rape/

Perfect Victim is the model against which all other (normal, flawed, human) victims are judged, and trust me, we all come up short. Perfect Victim says no clearly and often, fights off her attacker like a honey badger, and if she can’t get away, she continues to profess her non-consent throughout the encounter, ideally by shouting “no” and continuing to fight as best she can. Perfect Victim has the courage of a hundred armchair quarterbacks. Perfect Victim bites and scratches. Perfect Victim spits and sobs. What she doesn’t do is give in.
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Think of it as a harm reduction tactic. Fighting and screaming and kicking and yelling at a man? Unknown outcomes. Would he hit me back? Would he let me go? Would I fight and lose? If I lost, would he have sex with me anyway, only more violently?

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Arrow 10 replies Author Time Post
Reply Sometimes You Make Your Rapist Breakfast (Original post)
Fresh_Start Sunday OP
PJMcK Sunday #1
lunatica Sunday #2
MineralMan Sunday #3
Bettie Sunday #4
Fresh_Start Sunday #5
Bettie Sunday #6
Fresh_Start Sunday #9
LexVegas Sunday #7
Fresh_Start Sunday #8
alwaysinasnit Sunday #10

Response to Fresh_Start (Original post)

Sun Feb 10, 2019, 07:29 PM

1. I'm a man and I get it (n/t)

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Response to Fresh_Start (Original post)

Sun Feb 10, 2019, 07:48 PM

2. If a woman says no but means yes

all a man has to do is back off and stop the pressure and he’ll find out.

Men who aren’t rapists know this.

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Response to Fresh_Start (Original post)

Sun Feb 10, 2019, 07:53 PM

3. Exactly.

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Response to Fresh_Start (Original post)

Sun Feb 10, 2019, 07:59 PM

4. Yes, this

as a woman who was sexually abused as a child, by an adult man, I can also say that...jeez, it's hard to even get this out.

But, it puts you in a place where you mentally both who you are and that little kid, getting abused all over again. At least for, me, it put me in this place where I couldn't fight back, because in my head I was still that kid.

It probably doesn't make sense, but it is a horrible feeling.

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Response to Bettie (Reply #4)

Sun Feb 10, 2019, 08:03 PM

5. I know

I was preteen...and I was innnocent and naive.

I was in college the 2nd time and you regress.

This thread touches on repeat victims.

https://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=11797877

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Response to Fresh_Start (Reply #5)

Sun Feb 10, 2019, 08:08 PM

6. You do, and even later on in life

it just is always there, lurking, waiting to jump out.

Thanks for the other thread, I had not read that one.

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Response to Bettie (Reply #6)

Sun Feb 10, 2019, 08:13 PM

9. yvw nt

nt

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Response to Fresh_Start (Original post)

Sun Feb 10, 2019, 08:10 PM

7. Many here would benefit greatly from reading this. nt

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Response to LexVegas (Reply #7)

Sun Feb 10, 2019, 08:12 PM

8. I thought the hormonal differences in response between women and men was interesting

article said fight or flight is a response based on male hormones

women's hormones produce freeze, appease, befriend.

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Response to Fresh_Start (Original post)

Sun Feb 10, 2019, 08:48 PM

10. Thank you Fresh_Start.

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