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Wed Jan 30, 2019, 06:00 PM

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-4: Wheel Of Corruption: The Crimes Of Grindlewald Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-4: Wheel Of Corruption: The Crimes Of Grindlewald Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots!! You don’t have to pay $1 to join our subscription service because we don’t have one, but we’ll gladly take your $1! What’s up Salt Lake City??? Yeah how are you guys doing? Are you doing good? See it’s hard to get alcohol here so that’s why we’re doing these shows here, you know, for the booze. And also you guys our loyal audience who sold us out! But I know we're in Mormon country here so I won't make fun except for the subtle jabs we might take during the duration of this week's Top 10. Do we have time for the thing? You know my theory that commercials and advertising ruin everything. So Skittles, what the fuck are you doing? First you have the obnoxious and gross Skittles-pox advertisement where Skittles grow on this dude’s face. Now, they’re taking the whole concept of advertising to a completely insane level. Look, I already avoid ads 99% of the time (although maybe I would have a bigger audience if I didn’t) and I will definitely be avoiding this one. So they’re taking the concept of advertising to Broadway for the Super Bowl. Starring Michael C. Hall! That’s right – they got an Emmy and Tony winning actor who is obviously way beyond starring in a commercial, to star in this thing, which we really, seriously, hope doesn’t become a trend! Which brings me to the Big Lebowski and why I think commercials ruin everything. So apparently the Dude is now a pitchman for Stella Artois. Yes, all that hype last week about the Dude possibly returning? Nope it ain’t for a Big Lebowski sequel, it’s for a god damn advertisement for the Belgian Budweiser. Fuck!!! Way to ruin one of my favorite movies of all time, In Bev. See why I think commercials ruin everything? By the way, be sure to click on the ads on the side of this page! OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to, but first we have to play Pete Davidson’s review of the Clint Eastwood flick “The Mule” because it’s pretty spectacular:

Hey everybody the Wheel Of Corruption is back!!! And… We got him everybody! In the number one slot this week is obviously Roger Stone (1), Trump’s longtime collider, professional Hillary hater, and guy who had his tin foil hat surgically attached to his head is going to prison! He can share a cell with Trump’s former attorney Michael Cohen. In the second slot is the guy who we currently call president and that’s Donald J. Trump (2), and his office is working overtime to do some major damage control in the wake of the latest witch to be hunted! In the number 3 slot this week is also Donald J. Trump (3) and his insanely evil transgender military ban is going to be taking place, and well, it’s going to affect a whole lot of people and very badly. For the fourth slot this week, we have a new edition of “NO!” (4) and the fallout from the Indigenous People’s Rally in Washington, DC last week is having some major consequences for Covington Catholic and the MAGA hat wearing kids, who not surprisingly, were being racist shitheads in public. Taking the #5 seed this week is of course our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates, and this week, after the botched call in the NFC Championship game between the New Orleans Saints and the Los Angeles Rams, we’re going to do a deep dive into the world of bad sports officiating! At number 6 of course is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and this week, our resident pastor is very troubled that the Doomsday Clock is stuck at 2 minutes to midnight and we will examine all the sides to this apocalyptic event. Taking the seventh slot this week, we’re going to bring back an old Top 10 feature and open up the Top 10 Movie Vault to talk some movies. Specifically, the extremely controversial Michael Jackson documentary “Leaving Neverland” and well when this premiers at Sundance, expect the shit to hit the fan! For the number 8 slot, is a new installment of our favorite segment “How Is This Still A Thing”. And this week, after yet another controversy and losing sponsors left and right, we’re going to ask “The Laura Ingraham Show: How is this still a thing?” (8). In the number 9 (NEIN!!!!) slot this week we have a brand new People Are Dumb, because of course People Are Dumb. Finally this week, we have the next installment of our ongoing series that explains how government works to conspiracy theorists, Deep State Diaries, is going to be hanging out with the Bureau Of Alcohol, Tobacco, And Firearms! Plus we have some live music for you from Greta Van Fleet! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Roger Stone
[br] [/font]

Hey everyone say it with me: It’s time for the WHEEL OF CORRUPTION! YAY!!!!!

Of course you know the rules by now – I spin the wheel and we have to talk about whatever it lands on. Of course if it lands on the guacamole option, you know that it costs $1.50 extra. So here’s what is on the wheel this week:

- Guns
- Abortion
- Crime
- Poverty
- Election Theft
- Buy A Vowel
- Clip Without Context
- Greed
- Spying
- Food
- Elections
- Donald Trump
- Clip Without Context
- Chance
- 5,000
- Bankrupt
- Community Chest
- Donald Trump
- A Random Tweet
- Something Random In The News
- ‘Merica!
- Golf
- 10,000
- Morally Bankrupt
- Guacamole
- Clip Without Context
- Talk Shows
- Holy Shit
- Beating A Dead Horse
- This Fucking Guy
- How Is This Still A Thing?
- Harry Potter
- 15,000
- People Are Dumb
- Donald Trump
- I Need A Drink
- Infowars
- T-Shirt Cannon
- Lightning Round
- Bonus Spin

Let’s get this shit going! Spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! What? Go directly to jail? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Shit, just my luck. Go to jail on the first spin! Spin it again… and it lands on… crime! Number one this week is pretty obvious if you’re not living under a rock or have your tin foil hat surgically attached to your forehead and that is that Nixon lover Roger Stone got a taste of what his favorite president went through right up until his resignation. But this arrest revealed some things about this guy that are well, very revealing about the mysterious man that is Roger Stone. So what happened exactly?

The special counsel, Robert S. Mueller III, revealed on Friday the most direct link yet between parallel efforts by the Trump campaign and WikiLeaks to damage Hillary Clinton during the 2016 election using Democratic Party material stolen by Russians.

A top Trump campaign official dispatched Roger J. Stone Jr., a longtime adviser to President Trump, to get information from WikiLeaks about the thousands of hacked Democratic emails, according to an indictment. The effort began weeks after Democratic officials publicly accused Russian intelligence operatives of the theft, which was part of Moscow’s broad campaign to sabotage the 2016 presidential race.

The indictment made no mention of whether Mr. Trump played a role in the coordination, though Mr. Mueller did leave a curious clue about how high in the campaign the effort reached: A senior campaign official “was directed” by an unnamed person to contact Mr. Stone about additional WikiLeaks releases that might damage the Clinton campaign, according to the court document.

In an indictment filled with colorful details about clandestine meetings, angry texts — even a reference to “The Godfather: Part II” — Mr. Stone was charged with seven counts, including obstruction, making false statements and witness tampering. Mr. Mueller did not say that Mr. Stone’s interactions with WikiLeaks were illegal, nor that the Trump campaign engaged in a criminal conspiracy with the organization.

Whew!!!!!! Man I’ve been waiting all week to use that one! So yes, we got him all right! Maybe Roger can share a cell with Michael Cohen and they can trade conspiracy theories behind bars. And by the way you know that Mueller has implicated an “Individual 1” in the Trump Tower investigation, but now we have an “Organization 1”. That’s right – it wasn’t just an individual! It was an entire organization, because, you know, a coup doesn’t happen with just one person.

Footage of armed FBI agents storming Roger Stone's Fort Lauderdale, Florida, home was dramatic. But the real drama was in the 24-page indictment filed by special counsel Robert Mueller. Beyond Stone's shocking text messages detailed in the court document, one sentence really jumps out. It appears innocuous at first, buried on Page 4. But it raises questions that could potentially lead to evidence of collusion and embroil President Donald Trump himself.

Here's the sentence: "After the July 22, 2016 release of stolen DNC emails by Organization 1, a senior Trump Campaign official was directed to contact STONE about any additional releases and what other damaging information Organization 1 had regarding the Clinton Campaign."

There's a lot to unpack here, but the key phrase is this -- "a senior Trump Campaign official was directed to contact STONE about any additional releases."

The question isn't which senior Trump official contacted Stone, but who directed this person to do so. The only logical possibilities could fit in a phone booth. It's conceivable that the only people senior officials would take that kind of direction from would be either Trump or Paul Manafort, his campaign chairman at the time.

Yes, can I get some reverb please? WHO IS THE MYSTERY TRUMP ADMINISTRATION OFFICIAL? Ooh man that was some good reverb there. We will definitely keep an eye on this story but this might be one of the strangest parts of Stone’s arrest. He revealed his love of a certain president and one that was reviled for being a crook. Can we show that tattoo on his back?

Yeah what the fuck is up with that tattoo? Let’s find out more!

Roger Stone, President Donald Trump's associate who was arrested Friday morning, is a self-proclaimed king of political tricks with a love of vintage suits and conspiracy theories.

A Florida home of the 66-year-old veteran political consultant was surrounded by about a dozen heavily-armed FBI agents who arrested him with a surprise warrant, as seen in a CNN video. Stone has long denied claims that he had inappropriate contact with Russian intelligence during the 2016 electi, but now faces formal charges of lying to investigators.

Here are a few things you might not know about the self-proclaimed "dirty trickster" who loves the limelight:

Stone has a portrait of a smiling Richard Nixon tattooed on his upper back, below his neck. Stone got the tattoo at a shop in Venice Beach in California and told The New Yorker that “women love it." In Nixon's later years, Stone organized a series of media lunches at the former president's New Jersey home, The New Yorker reported with photos of a shirtless Stone.

"The reason I’m a Nixonite is because of his indestructibility and resilience,” Stone said in the interview. “He never quit."

Except for that part where he literally did quit! We may have to do a deep dive into that Netflix documentary for next week. And in case you’re wondering if this could possibly get any weirder, it devolved into Nixon territory when Roger Stone imitated his idol when taking the perp walk – and by the way the funny thing is that it was dismissed by the Nixon Foundation:

On the day of his indictment by special counsel Robert Mueller, former Donald Trump adviser Roger Stone seems to have lost the support of one of his greatest heroes, former President Richard Nixon -- or at least Nixon's foundation.

The Nixon Foundation sought to distance itself Friday from Stone after the political provocateur emerged from a Florida federal courthouse flashing the signature double V hand signal, usually used to symbolize "victory" or "peace," that Nixon made when he departed the White House after his resignation. Stone, who has a tattoo of the former president on his back, has long cited Nixon as a key political icon and influence.

"This morning's widely-circulated characterization of Roger Stone as a Nixon campaign aide or adviser is a gross misstatement. Mr. Stone was 16 years old during the Nixon presidential campaign of 1968 and 20 years old during the reelection campaign of 1972," the Nixon Foundation tweeted.

The foundation added, "Mr. Stone, during his time as a student at George Washington University, was a junior scheduler on the Nixon reelection committee. Mr. Stone was not a campaign aide or adviser. Nowhere in the Presidential Daily Diaries from 1972 to 1974 does the name 'Roger Stone' appear."

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

I’m out! Let’s spin it to win it! And it lands on… wait for it… oh hey it’s another clip without context!

We do? That’s news to me! But projection is what the republicans do best, so maybe they are the ones who hate themselves? All right, spin it again! And it lands on… Donald Trump. OK the shutdown is over everybody!!! Yeah!!!!! Well, at least for the next 3 weeks, get your paychecks while you can! The damage has been done though. So much that there’s been numerous proposals on how to end future shutdowns that one might be seen as an abuse of power. Yes, the keyword there is “might”. But the plan we’re going to talk about is the one proposed by Democratic Senator Mark Warner called the “Stop Stupidity Act”.

As the partial government shutdown continued through its thirty-second day on Tuesday, Senator Mark Warner (D-Va.) introduced a bill that would keep the government running during any future lapse of funding, but cut pay for lawmakers.

Warner, whose constituents include about 64,000 employees currently without pay in Virginia, titled his legislation the Stop STUPIDITY (Shutdowns Transferring Unnecessary Pain and Inflicting Damage In The Coming Years) Act.

“The Stop STUPIDITY Act takes the aggressive but necessary step of forcing the President and Congress to do the jobs they were elected to do,” said Sen. Warner. “It is disturbing that the daily lives of hundreds of thousands of workers are at the mercy of dysfunction in Washington. Workers, business owners and tax payers are currently paying the price of D.C. gridlock and my legislation will put an end to that.”

You can find the full bill here. It sets up a system to automatically renew government funding at the same levels as the previous fiscal year, with adjustments for inflation, unless legislators pass an appropriations bill setting the amounts differently.

Yes that’s exactly what this bill aims to do – stop people from acting so stupid, mainly the president of the United States. The government works for the people, not for partisan politics. But the Stop Stupidity Act isn’t the only one being proposed. In fact this latest shutdown has prompted a lot of proposals aimed at preventing future shutdowns.

The U.S. government is back in business, and some U.S. lawmakers want to prevent it from shutting down ever again.

After suffering a record-smashing 35-day shutdown, legislators are heading back to Capitol Hill with new energy for a longstanding effort to ban the option of shutting down the government. After a shutdown that denied federal workers two paychecks, members of both parties are realizing that shutdowns rarely produce positive outcomes for anyone.

Senators Rob Portman (R-Ohio) and Mark Warner (D-Va.) each introduced a bill to prevent shutdowns in the future. Portman’s, which has 18 co-sponsors, would continue funding the government at current levels if Congress failed to reach a funding agreement, but funding would decline by 1% after 120 days and then each subsequent 90 days if no deal were reached.

Warner’s, called the Stop Shutdowns Transferring Unnecessary Pain and Inflicting Damage in the Coming Years, or “Stop Stupidity Act,” would maintain funding for all aspects of government except for the White House and legislative branch. Explaining his reasoning on the Senate floor, Warner said, “common sense tells me that we wouldn’t be here 35 days into this shutdown if all our staffs were experiencing the same kind of shortfall and economic distress that 800,000 of our fellow federal workers experienced.”

Yes we’re closed but hopefully this is the last time! Don’t make me turn this show around! And in fact this bill is gaining traction, but will Trump himself sign it? It is gaining traction and even Chuck Schumer is backing the bill. But if you’re not shocked at all that Trump probably won’t sign the bill, well, you’re not wrong. And if you’re shocked he won’t, you’re in the wrong place!

Senate Republicans, led by Sen. Rob Portman (R-Ohio), have also introduced similar legislation, the End Government Shutdowns Act.

The Democratic leader's embrace of the bill came hours after White House acting chief of staff Mick Mulvaney said on CBS's "Face the Nation" that President Trump is willing to shut down the government again in three weeks should lawmakers not come to a satisfactory agreement on border security funding.

The president on Friday signed a bill to fund the government for three weeks, ending a partial government shutdown that had lasted 35 days. The measure did not include money for a wall along the southern border, but provided the opportunity for a bipartisan conference of lawmakers to negotiate border security funding.

Trump said in an interview published Sunday with The Wall Street Journal that he views the chances of a potential deal among lawmakers as "less than 50-50."

Yes, fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it!!!! Last thing we need is a shutdown over a campaign promise that was completely asinine and in no way, shape or form will work. So how do you get both sides to work on something that one side started, one side owns, and somehow managed to convince their base to blame the other side for it? You know what? Lets’ play that clip first.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! So what do they have?

Senator Richard Blumenthal laid out his priorities before he got on a flight to Washington this morning. First, he wants to get workers their back pay. Second, work on a border security deal with republicans. Third, try to keep those workers from losing their paychecks in any future government shutdowns on Monday.

"We thank you," Blumenthal told workers at Bradley International Airport Monday. "All of America should thank you."

Blumenthal went to Bradley to thank federal workers who kept showing up every day, despite not getting a paycheck.

"35 days without pay, working on the job, is a disgrace," Blumenthal said.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Let’s spin it to win it! And it lands on… wait for it… A Random Tweet!!!!

Sadly that's probably the only thing Fox & Friends has said in the last 3 years that could be considered true! Spin it again! And it lands on… Morally Bankrupt! Well there’s only one person in this story that’s morally bankrupt and that’s Donald J. Trump. Yeah last week Trump’s shockingly evil, completely immoral, and extremely unconstitutional transgender military ban went into effect. So just how evil is it and who is affected by this? Well it could mean a whole lot of people!

The Supreme Court allowed President Donald Trump's transgender military ban to go into effect on Tuesday, dealing a blow to LGBT activists who call the ban cruel and irrational.
In an unsigned 5-4 order, the justices took no stance on the legality of the ban, first proposed in a surprise tweet by Trump in 2017, but Tuesday's action clears the way for it to take effect while lower courts hear additional arguments.

The four liberal justices objected to allowing the administration's policy banning most transgender people from serving in the military to go into effect.

The policy, first announced by the President in July 2017 via Twitter, and later officially released by then-Secretary of Defense James Mattis in 2018, blocks individuals who have been diagnosed with a condition known as gender dysphoria from serving with limited exceptions. It also specifies that individuals without the condition can serve, but only if they do so according to the sex they were assigned at birth.

In a statement released after the Supreme Court action, the Pentagon sought to clarify that its policy is not a ban on all transgender persons from the military.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! So with that, SCOTUS sides with religious bigotry over the first amenedment. So Brett Kavanaugh’s boofing paid off. How much worse could it get? I mean in the words of Clark Griswold: “Take a look around you! We’re in the threshold of hell!”!

The Supreme Court on Tuesday granted the Trump administration’s request to allow it to bar most transgender people from serving in the military while cases challenging the policy make their way to the court.

The administration’s policy reversed a 2016 decision by the Obama administration to open the military to transgender service members. It generally prohibits transgender people from military service but makes exceptions for those already serving openly and those willing to serve “in their biological sex.”

The vote to lift two injunctions blocking the policy issued by lower courts was 5 to 4, with the Supreme Court’s five conservative members in the majority.

Lawyers questioning the new policy said there was no need to enforce it while the cases challenging it moved forward.

Argh I hate this administration and everything involved. There’s not a lot funny about this - it’s mean and horrible and cruel, and a whole lot of people are about to be displaced because of this. But I guess that was their evil plan all along wasn’t it? I mean really the only thing missing from Trump is a monocle, a top hat, and a furry cat sitting in his lap. Although it’s not over by a long shot and we need to keep Ruth Bader Ginsburg alive for as long as possible!

On Tuesday, by a 5–4 vote, the Supreme Court lifted two injunctions blocking President Donald Trump’s ban on open transgender military service. The move bodes poorly for transgender plaintiffs challenging the policy, indicating that the court’s conservative majority will eventually declare the ban to be constitutional. But it does not allow the Pentagon to begin enforcing the new rules. For now, another nationwide injunction remains in place—though it seems quite likely that it will soon be lifted, as well.

The Obama administration began allowing open transgender military service in June 2016 after the Pentagon concluded that it would have no detrimental effects. In July 2017, Trump attempted to ban all trans people from the armed forces via Twitter. A month later, he directed then–Secretary of Defense James Mattis to craft an implementation plan for the ban. Within months, four federal courts blocked the policy, concluding it was arbitrary, unwarranted, and a denial of equal protection.

In March 2018, the Trump administration released its plan to execute the ban. Crafted with the aid of anti-LGBTQ advocates, the new scheme attempted to avoid constitutional flaws by grandfathering in those trans troops already serving openly. Moreover, it did not explicitly target transgender people, but instead excluded those who experience ongoing gender dysphoria, or “who require or have undergone gender transition.”

Yes, boo this whole administration. This is downright appalling. But what do actual trans veterans think of this atrocity? Well, why don’t we ask them?

The Supreme Court allowed President Trump’s ban on transgender individuals from serving in the military to go into effect Tuesday morning, ostracizing thousands of active service members and sparking another divisive controversy in American politics.

There are an estimated 150,000 transgender United States veterans, according to a UCLA Williams Institute report, many of whom were forced to closet both their sexuality and gender identity or face threat of being discharged from the U.S. military during the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy era.

On Tuesday afternoon, Rolling Stone spoke with Evan Young, a retired army officer who was one of the thousands of transgender veterans who had to hide their identity and sexuality in order to still serve in the military – even once facing an investigation for being a lesbian prior to transitioning. “It was so hard,” Young says. The 14-year military veteran, who’s now the president of the Transgender American Veterans Association after retiring from service in 2013, spoke over the phone about his reaction to the court’s decision to allow the ban to go into effect, the impact serving in the military while closeting your identity has on both units and individuals and what this ruling means for the future of the U.S. military and the LGBTQ community nationwide.

What was your initial response to the Supreme Court’s decision Tuesday morning?
Furious. This was an issue that Trump made. [Barack] Obama opened service for transgender military members and they’ve been serving for two years now with no issues. We’re currently deployed in every single combat zone that’s out there. We serve with honor and we’re patriotic. We give our lives for this country, yet they’re saying we can’t serve and it’s beyond my comprehension why, besides discrimination.

What does this mean for the LGBTQ community to be told their service is not wanted by the president and by the Supreme Court?
It’s devastating, because we have good men and women who want to serve their country and are not allowed to. We have skills that the government has invested so much money and training folks for whatever job they had – whether it’s a pilot or a public affairs officer, a medical officer – there are so many jobs that we serve in and that’s a lot of people that you lose.

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[font size="8"]NO!!!!!
[br] [/font]

Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? Oh and hey it’s a clip without context!

I can’t even with these idiots sometimes. What does Chris Jericho have to do with anything other than his last name is Jericho? WTF! Spin it again!

That’s right. NO!. You know last week we had dueling marches in Washington, DC – there of course was conservative Christians marching to take away women’s reproductive rights by overturning the Supreme Court’s always controversial Roe V Wade decision. And then there was the Indigenous People’s March – held in the National Mall on the same day – looking to give America’s often neglected Native Americans a voice on Capitol Hill. And then there was one church from Kentucky that attended both marches, and is getting a lot of extremely negative press for how they behaved in the latter march. We covered this last week, but now the victim blaming has begun!

Gov. Matt Bevin went on TV on Tuesday night to voice his opinion on the confrontation between a group of Kentucky students and a Native American man.

On Tucker Carlson Tonight on Fox News, Bevin blamed the media for the backlash against students.

"I find it offensive that people have insulted these students as they did," Bevin told Carlson. "Could they, themselves, in every instance, perhaps behaved more gentlemenly? Probably so. But as someone who has a 20-year-old and a 16-year-old to boot, I can tell you: Sometimes, teenagers act silly and goofy and irresponsible. But these children acted far more responsible during the course of that 20-minute interaction or so than any of the adults that were involved."

Bevin's comments come after video surfaced of an encounter between Covington Catholic High School students and Native Americans in Washington, D.C., over the weekend.

Many claim the Native Americans were intimidated by the teenagers. But, others say the teenagers are being targeted for wearing "Make America Great Again" hats.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! That’s right – according to Kentucky’s governor, these kids aren’t to blame for their nasty behavior, it’s that damn violent leftist media’s fault! Gee, some kids wearing MAGA hats turned out to be racist shitheads and were called out for their behavior? I’m shocked, shocked I tell you! And by the way even Stormy Daniels called them out. You know it’s bad when you get called out for inappropriate behavior by a stripper!

The adult film star Stormy Daniels is suggesting building a wall — around the Catholic high school in Kentucky whose students surrounded and mocked Native Americans during a march in Washington, D.C.

Daniels weighed in Saturday on the incident involving Covington Catholic High students after video surfaced showing a young man in a "Make America Great Again" cap trying to intimidate a Native American elder. Dozens of Covington students can be seen jeering and chanting along.

"I'm suddenly in favor of building a wall...around Covington Catholic High in KY," wrote Daniels, legally known as Stephanie Clifford, on Twitter. "And let's electrify it to keep those disgusting punks from getting loose and creating more vileness in society."

Daniels is known for her legal dispute with President Donald Trump and his attorney Michael Cohen over alleged hush money paid to silence Daniels about an affair she said she had with Trump in 2006.

The school and the Roman Catholic Diocese of Covington condemned the actions of the students against the man, Nathan Phillips, on Saturday afternoon after millions of people viewed videos of incident, many expressing their outrage on social media.

And the other thing people - fucking stop with the death threats already! Don’t you see that threatening death only makes you the asshole? Yeah these guys were racist MAGA shitheads, let’s kill them and send a pipe bomb to their church! Hey, my barista didn’t give me enough ice in my iced latte! She should die a horrible death! See how it doesn’t work that way? Neither does this!

Covington Catholic High School decided to cancel classes on Tuesday after a weekend of controversy following a viral video featuring some of its students.

Principal Robert Rowe told WXIX that school officials met with local authorities and decided to cancel school and close the building on Tuesday to ensure that students, faculty and staff would be safe. Rowe added that all campus activities were cancelled for during the day on Tuesday, as well as, the evening.

“Students, parents, faculty and staff are not to be on campus for any reason,” Rowe said in a letter. “Please continue to keep the Covington Catholic Community in your prayers.”

The Park Hills, Kentucky, school’s decision to close on Tuesday followed the publishing of a video of a student wearing a “Make America Great Again” hat standing in front of a Native American elder. The students were in Washington, D.C., for the annual anti-abortion rally, the March for Life, and were waiting for their busses at the Lincoln Memorial.

On Saturday, a video clip of a confrontation between a Native American elder, identified as Nathan Phillips, and a high school student, identified as Nick Sandmann, was published on several social media sites. Many of the students were wearing attire supporting President Donald Trump, prompting prominent people on social media to label the students as racist and bigoted.

That is a good question, Mr. Harvey! But while so much attention is being paid to what happened at the latter march, let’s not make light of why they were there in the first place!

The itinerary for most school field trips to Washington, D.C., is usually as busy as it is predictable: See some monuments on the National Mall, check out the Smithsonian museums and don’t miss the bus to the next stop.

But trips to the annual March for Life are different.

They're not typically as different as Covington Catholic High School’s visit last week, which ended with the Park Hills, Kentucky, school and its students embroiled in a made-for-Twitter political firestorm, but still unlike the sight-seeing excursions kids sign up for at most schools.

The March for Life trips are built around student activism at a single event about a single issue on a single day in Washington. Catholic schools, where students are taught abortion is an intrinsic evil, have been organizing excursions to the anti-abortion marches for years.

This has never been just another field trip for the students or their parent chaperones, and abortion has never been just another issue in America’s culture wars.


That’s right – they were there to take away a women’s right to reproductive freedom! And you might be wondering where the MAGA in chief is and what he thinks about this? Well, they’re just his kind of people and he’ll probably treat them to a big fast food buffet at the White House.

After taking to Twitter to support them, President Donald Trump may meet with Covington Catholic students at the White House as soon as the government shutdown ends, according to reports.

The possible meeting was first reported Tuesday morning by Fox News host Laura Ingraham, who tweeted that Covington Catholic students "threatened by the leftist internet mob" will meet with Trump at the White House as early as Wednesday.

However, Ingraham tweeted about an hour later that the White House "seems to be in flux" regarding a meeting with Covington Catholic students who were in Washington, D.C., on Friday for the March for Life.

"Announced any meeting would happen after shutdown," Ingraham wrote on Twitter. "Odd as it would be less meaningful if delayed."

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates
[br] [/font]

Let’s spin it to win it! And it lands on… wait for it… Oh it’s the guacamole option! Come on out here, Fernando! Yes, everyone Fernando is our sous chef here at the Top 10 and he is going to prepare my tableside guacamole. Here’s your $2!

All right doesn’t that look great? Thanks Fernando! Spin it again! Oh hey it’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

Last week, the Los Angeles Rams and New Orleans Saints played for the NFC title and a chance to go to Super Bowl LIII. However, an extremely controversial call happened in the fourth quarter of that game that sent the Rams to the Super Bowl and the Saints home packing. Now regardless of which team you root for in this fight, we’re here to help sort out all the madness behind the controversial non call. Just how bad is sports officiating in the modern era? Well, moderate to extremely.

Referee Bill Vinovich's crew missed an obvious pass interference call on Los Angeles Rams cornerback Nickell Robey-Coleman in the final minutes of Sunday's NFC Championship Game against the New Orleans Saints.

The no-call came with 1:45 remaining on a third-and-10 play from the Rams' 13-yard line, with the score tied at 20. Robey-Coleman appeared to run into Saints receiver Tommylee Lewis and make helmet-to-helmet contact before the ball arrived -- sending the raucous Mercedes-Benz Superdome crowd into a chorus of boos when no flag was thrown.

Had interference been called, the Saints would have had a new set of downs and a chance to run the clock down before attempting a short field goal with less than 20 seconds remaining. Instead, the Rams forced overtime and beat the Saints 26-23, advancing to Super Bowl LIII.

People from around the country reacted to the controversial play, including some who photoshopped images:

So just how bad was that call? Well it’s spawned everything from lawsuits to death threats, because only in 2019 would a sensible person threaten to murder someone over something like that. And in case you’re wondering if there’s going to be another playoff game, well, don’t get your hopes up.

Redoing last weekend's controversial NFC title game between the Los Angeles Rams and New Orleans Saints would mean a pricey delay of the upcoming Super Bowl, the NFL said Friday.

In a legal filing, NFL Chief Financial Officer Joseph Siclare said replaying even a few minutes of the NFC championship game because of a missed passed interference call would force a delay for an event that demands an investment of "more than $100 million," the New Orleans Advocate reported.

Siclare's sworn affidavit was submitted by the NFL to get one of two pending lawsuits over officiating moved from state civil court to New Orleans federal court.

The filing marks the league's first formal response to a lawsuit by a pair of ticket-holders over the infamous "no call" that ended the Saints' Super Bowl run last Sunday.

That’s about what the Saints fans want to do to the ref who blew the call. And we get it, but LA is definitely no stranger to blown calls. In fact if you look at one of the most infamous blown calls of the last two decades, this one makes the New Orleans non call seem like a walk in the park. To use sports terminology if we must.

Boston, the defending World Series champion, was dispatched in three games by the White Sox during the AL Division Series, and manager Ozzie Guillen's crew looked to be the favorites against Anaheim in the ALCS. The Sox held home-field advantage at U.S. Cellular Field, the Angels were without ace Bartolo Colon, and they had just finished off a grueling five-game series win over the Yankees before making the trip from Anaheim to Chicago for Game 1.

Paul Byrd pitched the Angels to a surprising 3-2 victory in Game 1, making Game 2 a crucial contest for the White Sox before going to the West Coast. The game was tied at 1 in the ninth, with Mark Buehrle having gone the distance for Chicago, when A.J. Pierzynski appeared to strike out against Kelvim Escobar for the third out to send the game to extra innings.

Pierzynski ran to first on what he thought was a dropped third strike by catcher Josh Paul, and home-plate umpire Doug Eddings allowed him to stay there. Pinch-runner Pablo Ozuna swiped second and scored on Joe Crede's walk-off double, propelling the White Sox to their first of four straight victories over Anaheim.

OK so before you New Orleans Saints fans go nuts, although it may be too late for that, just be aware that we’ve seen calls just as bad if not worse than that. And by the way in case you’re wondering just how far Saints fans have taken their wrath, just look at this. Remember when we said there were death threats involved? Well it’s way worse than you might expect.

He has a name Saints fans will remember begrudgingly, but what Nickell Robey-Coleman said happened after the game is something they'd probably rather forget.

The Los Angeles Rams cornerback who was responsible for a play that went unflagged and likely cost the Saints a Super Bowl berth said he received countless threats after the game, including those of violence and another to burn down his home, according to Bleacher Report.

Robey-Coleman was speaking at a media event in the buildup to Super Bowl 53. The Rams face the New England Patriots on Sunday.

One of the threats, made on social media, said it would "f--k you up" at the airport. Another said he should leave or he "might not see tomorrow." Another said they'd burn his house down.

Robey-Coleman had a simple answer.

"Wolves do not concern themselves with the opinions of sheep," he said in the report.

So you can complain all you want about your blown call, just don’t make death threats, that gives your fans a bad name. That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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It’s time to give the wheel a good strong spin! And it lands on… oh hey it’s another clip without context!

And that’s just sad. Or as Trump would say – SAD! Spin it again! Hey it’s time for Holy Shit! Gather around, my fair brothers and sisters of Salt Lake City, it’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For the Holy Church of the Top 10 has convened and it’s our weekly duty to remind you why the holiest among us are also the most full of:

My fair congregation! You know it’s our duty to inform you that we are approaching the end of days, but it also my duty to inform you that the forces of SAYTAN are working very quickly to help bring about that very scary ending of the Bible to life. We already saw that last year when the Dark One, whose name shall not be spoken in my church, decided to move the US - Israeli embassy to Jerusalem to please his base of end times apocalypse worshippers. Well, he might be surprised to learn that this did nothing of the sort to help escalate the rapture! You know there’s a special time keeping device that is used to monitor how close we are to the end of days, and well, if you’re not alarmed by this, you should be.

The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists is keeping the Doomsday Clock set at two minutes to midnight - the emblematic end of the world - calling the threats against humankind "a new abnormal."

The scientists announced Thursday that the clock is stuck at 11:58, citing nuclear weapons and climate change as two existential risks that leave the world dangerous close to an apocalypse.

Bulletin President Rachel Bronson told The Washington Post that the scientists felt that keeping the clock at that "daunting time" was appropriate because "the time corresponded to the message we were sending." She said the board was particularly concerned that "U.S.-Russian relations are near an all-time low," "the arms control architecture is deteriorating," and "carbon emissions are rising after a period of plateauing."

She particularly emphasized that "the intentional undermining of the information architecture for political purposes, which we view as a threat multiplier - makes everything that we're doing more difficult."

So, nuclear apocalypse is inevitable!!! Or is it? You know think of this as the calm before the storm, because in our Good Book, at least JAYSUS does not make any sort of mention of how the world is going to end. And you know you should never mix religion and science because the two separate in a giant pool like olive oil and vinegar. So why is it so important that the Doomsday Clock is staying at 2 minutes to midnight this year?

The Doomsday Clock is the creation of the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists, a group that formed in the wake of the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Their goal: educate both the scientific community and the public at large about technology’s potential to destroy the world.

The Doomsday Clock was originally set at seven minutes to midnight, and the Bulletin has adjusted it 23 times over the years. The most recent adjustment came in 2018 when the group set the clock to 11:58 — putting humanity symbolically closer to doomsday than it had ever been before.

According to the Bulletin, we’ve done nothing in the past year to make the situation any less precarious — humanity still faces not one, but two “existential threats” in the form of nuclear weapons and climate change.

While the clock remains set at 11:58, the potential of either threat to destroy humanity has increased over the past 12 months, according to the Bulletin’s 2019 statement. We must do something to alter our path.

Oh so it’s only a minor threat to the end of humanity as we know it! For the good LAWRD JAYSUS never made mention of the end of days, but his followers love how the BAYBLE ends in the book of Revelation because the clock hasn’t slowed down but yet it does remind us of the dangers of the world in which we currently live! Can I get an amen???

When the board of the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists has judged a significant deterioration of the global security environment, it usually moves the hands of the “doomsday clock” closer to midnight. One year ago, recognizing a cluster of negative trends, the custodians reset this icon as never before in its 70 year history to two minutes before midnight. But this week, rather than push it closer to midnight, as many analysts had predicted, the board doubled down in a bold statement that the world is in a “new abnormal”ť and that the clock is still two minutes to midnight.

This statement is a clarion call to citizens and leaders alike in declaring, “This new abnormal is simply too volatile and dangerous to accept as a continuing state of world affairs.”ť With the articulation of the contours of the perilous new abnormal, the clock moves beyond a metaphorical representation of our planetary wounds. It exposes the intertwined conundrum of increased nuclear militarism, unabated climate change, and the corruption of global information systems by leaders using new technology for nefarious goals. The discussion of the latter is a major contribution to security thinking, particularly as it affects democracies.

Perhaps the most insightful critique of leaders around the world notes their “intentional corruption of the information ecosystem on which modern civilization depends.”ť Sadly, calling on leaders in Washington to change their behavior regarding these issues will be a steep climb. Never before has an executive branch of the United States had a lower regard for the findings of science, especially around the topic of climate change. The more than $1 trillion proposed for future decades of nuclear modernization has no substantial opposition within Congress.

Well let’s think about this here in the eyes of the LAWRD – the clock hasn’t moved forward but it can’t move backward. You can’t turn back time! Yes, I know that’s a Cher song, sir! So why is this thing still relevant? Why don’t we ask a real scientist? And you should never mix religion and science, that’s just bad for business!

Sputnik: Ok finally with this in mind, is humanity closer now to striking midnight on the doomsday clock than in the past?

Dr Becky Alexis-Martin: From a nuclear perspective no, I think it's absolutely right to kind of retain the point that we are ‘two minutes from midnight', however from a climate perspective we are gradually encroaching and edging towards catastrophe and that catastrophe won't affect people in the global north substantially as much as it will affect people in the global south.

The impacts of climate change will not affect places like the USA, UK and Russia as substantially as places like Sub-Saharan Africa or the South Pacific where they don't have the opportunities to create adaptations to climate change and their situation is more precarious to begin with. I would say yes, I would say that we are edging closer towards midnight from a climate perspective and we just have to wait and see really. I hope that international policy begins to remedy and begins to support progress towards mitigating climate change.

So what do you think a GODLY man thinks of the end of days? Well apparently SAYTAN has been working overtime to eradicate his foes, all of which oppose the Dark One! Wait a minute, the Dark One was anointed by SATAN, not by GAWD!!!

On last night’s “YourVoice America” program, ardent pro-Trump commentator and right-wing conspiracy theorist Bill Mitchell declared that every policy proposal put forth by Democrats is designed to increase human misery because liberals are driven by self-loathing and want all of humanity to suffer.

Mitchell said that if a liberal sees someone wearing a MAGA hat and therefore thinks that person is racist, it is because the liberal is the one who has racism “occupying a large space” in their mind already and “is looking at the world through racism-colored glasses.”

“Here’s the problem that liberals have,” Mitchell asserted. “They feel a sense of being outcasts, a sense of being different. Because of this otherness, they tend to have a lot of self-loathing, OK? Now they’re human beings [and] they loath themselves, so they loath humanity.”

“The Democrats and the liberals must always blame mankind for everything because of their sense of otherness, because of their sense of not belonging, because of their sense of hatred of mankind,” Mitchell added. “That’s why their policies and procedures never improve the status of mankind, but prolong the pain and make the pain worse, because they hate mankind and they hate themselves.”

There you have it folks! The opponents of the Dark One blame mankind for everything and that’s why we are in the End Of Days! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Movie Vault
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… wait for it… Oh hey it’s A Random Tweet!!!

Oh hey it’s good to know that he’s smocking covfefe again! Let’s spin it again! Oh it’s the mystery item which means that we’re going to bring back… THE TOP 10 MOVIE VAULT!!!!

That’s right – the Top 10 Movie Vault brings you excellence (or not) in cinema whether it’s the finest documentaries on the internet or movies actually in theaters. So bear in mind we will keep this segment to the standards of humor that you’ve come to expect from the Top 10 by now - which usually are very poor but we'll accept moderate. That said, what has people’s underwear in wads this week? Well there’s a controversial new documentary about Michael Jackson that his most hardcore fans would probably rather not be seen, all remaining copies destroyed, and any left stored next to the Arc Of The Covenant. Because, reasons.

The new two-part documentary on Michael Jackson, Leaving Neverland has been mired in controversy since its premiere at the Sundance Film Festival on Jan. 25. The documentary follows Wade Robson and James Safechuck (now in their thirties) who allege that Jackson preyed on them as young boys.

Since Friday, the documentary has been met with statements from the Jackson estate and Jackson’s family, with the estate calling Leaving Neverland a “tabloid character assassination” on Jackson. The family dubbed Robson and Safechuck as “perjurers” and the film as a “public lynching.”

Now, Leaving Neverland director and producer Dan Reed has responded to those criticisms. In a new interview with The Hollywood Reporter, Reed said, “A four-hour piece, is that a tabloid?” He continued, “I didn’t characterize Jackson at all in the film—I think if you watch it you'll have noticed that it’s a story about these two families and Jackson is an element of that story.” Reed asserted that the film isn’t about Jackson, but rather “an account of sexual abuse, how sexual abuse happens and then how the consequences play out later in life.”

“They have a very precious asset to protect,” Reed added. “Every time a song plays, a cash register goes ‘ka-ching.’ It doesn’t surprise me that they've come out fighting in defense of their asset.” Reed also mentioned that he doesn’t think the family has seen the film. “Their statements are not consistent with having watched the movie,” Reed told THR.

Of course they have a valuable asset to protect! Have you seen how much Michael Jackson is worth when he’s dead? He’s the world’s highest earning dead celebrity! And he’s got relatives and employees who want to get rich off of that! And if you think you don’t make enough money, wait until you see how much money this estate has. In all honesty, death was probably the best career move Michael Jackson could have made.

Death hasn’t ended Michael Jackson’s commercial success.

Jackson again tops our list of the highest-paid dead celebrities list after hauling in $400 million over the past year, mostly from the sale of his EMI Music Publishing stake. Additional cash comes from his Mijac Music catalogue, a new Sony record deal and projects like TV special Michael Jackson’s Halloween, which returned to CBS on October 20 for the second consecutive year.

“You see Charlie Brown Christmas and Charlie Brown Thanksgiving every year, so now we’re looking to have Michael Jackson’s Halloween every year,” says John Branca, the Jackson estate’s co-executor. “We hope that it’ll become evergreen.”

Behind the King of Pop on our list is another music monarch: Elvis Presley, who takes the No. 2 spot with $40 million over the past year; Arnold Palmer rounds out the top three with $35 million. In all, the dead celebs pulled in $628 million, more than double last year’s $312 million tally—thanks entirely to Jackson’s windfall, which gives him $2.4 billion in earnings in the decade since his death.

Naturally you can see why they’re nervous about this flick, especially given what can happen to famous celebrities in the post #MeToo era. Now we’re not defending the allegations in this documentary even slightly. But if the director isn’t worried about the Michael Jackson estate, maybe he should be worried about Michael Jackson fans!

“Leaving Neverland,” a new documentary focused on the child sexual abuse allegations against Michael Jackson, has already stirred some controversy at the Sundance Film Festival, and now that backlash has hit its IMDb page.

On Friday afternoon at about 1:20 p.m. PT, the IMDb page for the documentary read “Liar, Liar 2: The Wade Robson and Jimmy Safechuck Story.” Robson and Safechuck are two Jackson accusers who appear in the documentary. It was fixed by about 2:05 p.m. PT.

It would appear that angry Jackson fans vandalized the page. Those with a registered IMDb account are able to make edits on films’ pages, similar to Wikipedia. IMDb did not immediately respond to Variety‘s request for comment.


And that was just the IMDB page! In case you don’t know Michael Jackson fans, they’re very similar to a lot of fans of some very powerful celebrities. You know – like the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump. Honestly the extremely rabid Michael Jackson fans and the extremely rabid Donald Trump fans are really cut from the same cloth. Especially when they can pull shit like this.

EXCLUSIVE: The world premiere of a controversial Michael Jackson documentary this week at the Sundance Film Festival has organizers and local police preparing for turmoil from fans of the deceased Thriller singer.

“We have increased our staffing out of concerns for the potential for a protest,” Captain Phil Kirk of the Park City Police tells Deadline about the January 25 debut of the sexual abuse investigating Leaving Neverland. That’s the official line, but officials in the Utah ski town say their primary concern is about an incident inside the Egyptian Theatre screening of the Dan Reed directed two-parter on Friday.

There have been direct threats against The Paedophile Hunter helmer Reed over the 236-minute Neverland, I hear.

“Tensions are higher for this movie than anything I’ve ever seen at Sundance before,” says a law enforcement source. “No one is going to be prevented from exercising their Constitutional rights, but we are not going to allow this to get out of hand, in any way,” he added, noting that the checks and other security measures already in place for SFF will be heightened inside the venue also.

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[font size="8"]How Is This Still A Thing?
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… wait for it… clip without context!

Uh… did Alex just admit he’s in on the whole thing? Paging Mr. Mueller! Paging Mr. Mueller! Spin it again. Oh hey it’s time for How Is This Still A Thing? Time once again to ask:

This week – the Laura Ingraham Show. How is this still a thing? Apparently in conservative world, as long as you say what they want to hear, you’re a celebrity for life. It doesn’t matter how many sponsors you lose, or how badly you get mocked by those on the other side. You can always paint them as violent lunatics and you’ll still get a large majority of the viewership. Such is the case with the Laura Ingraham Show – another Fox News outlet that’s currently being circled down the drain and has been for a long time. So what happened exactly?

Right-wing radio host Laura Ingraham has been hemorrhaging advertisers after a petty attack on a teenager who survived the Parkland, Florida massacre.

As of April, Ingraham had lost 24 advertisers to her Fox News show thanks to an online campaign mobilized by David Hogg, who called out the fringe host for her bullying. But as of October, those advertisers still didn’t return.

“It’s not unusual for advertisers to flee temporarily when controversy strikes a television program,” wrote Politico. “But the sustained loss of advertising minutes and big, nationally recognized brands from “The Ingraham Angle” shows the power of activist-led boycotts and the depth of major corporations’ concerns about offending would-be consumers in the hyper-politicized era of President Donald Trump.”

Media Matters announced Ingraham’s show was over, but she’s still trying to hold on by doing a podcast. Her Fox News show will also continue. The weekly radio show ends its run after 17 years. It has “served as a safe space for the Fox News host and her guests to make cruel jokes, practice racism, demonize immigrants, and push wild conspiracy theories. The world will be better off without it,” the site described.

Yes that’s right – Laura Ingraham has been dropped from her radio show but somehow is still able to be on Fox News. So how did Ingraham’s show go off the air? What was the final cause of death? Was it her incessant bigotry and love of Donald Trump? Or was it the way that she attacked the Parkland Students for their activism? Or is it all of the above?

After 17 years of torturing Americans’ ears, Laura Ingraham’s radio show finally came to an end this December. The weekday show has long served as a safe space for the Fox News host and her guests to make cruel jokes, practice racism, demonize immigrants, and push wild conspiracy theories. The world will be better off without it.

Unfortunately, Ingraham’s cruelty and racism will still have a home on her Fox News show and her new podcast beginning next month. But for now, we can bid a happy farewell to a truly awful program by remembering some of its most repulsive moments.

Ingraham fawned over Donald Trump’s bigoted rhetoric on immigration; she defended his calls for a ban on Muslims entering the United States, and even argued that the ban was “not broad enough,” claiming that she would “go farther” and be “even worse than Trump.”

She asserted that “Middle Eastern countries have got to be told… we’re cutting you off,” questioned why the U.S. should allow Muslim immigration ”knowing that we can’t tell if an Islamic individual is going to be radicalized,” and said the U.S. should only accept refugees “who we can verifiably say are Christians. … But all these other people, they’ve got to stay in the Middle East.”

So it took 17 years to realize that Laura Ingraham is a toxic bigot who only spews nothing but hate and bigotry? Well maybe she and Jeannie Pirro can join forces. But in case you’re wondering why Ingraham is still on the air, well look at the fact that they have pretty much a direct pipeline to Trump. With friends like these, who needs enemies?

Right-wing pundits are not happy that President Donald Trump has agreed to reopen the federal government while he negotiates with House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Democrats in Congress over funding for border security.

Upon hearing the news, conservative commentator Ann Coulter tweeted “Good news for George Herbert Walker Bush: As of today, he is no longer the biggest wimp ever to serve as President of the United States.”

Michael Malice — an anarchist author, columnist and media personality — posted a similarly mean-spirited tweet: “Apparently a wall isn’t as good as a cave.”

Tomi Lahren, a Fox Nation host, tweeted “It’s President Trump, not President Pelosi. Act like it.”

Breitbart, the alt-Right brainchild of former White House chief strategist to President Trump Steve Bannon, proclaimed on its website “GOVERNMENT OPEN … AND BORDER. NO WALL.”

That’s right Dude, with friends like these, who needs enemies? Yes, the federal government is currently being run by idiots with microphones. Let that sink in for a minute. And by the way in case you’re wondering if your advertising boycott is working, let’s look at what actually happens when that happens.

“Republicans buy sneakers, too” probably isn’t what Michael Jordan said, but it is true nonetheless. In fact, empirically, it’s an understatement. The last five years have given rise to the direct brand revolution with digitally minded startups disrupting every category, resulting in hundreds of so-called unicorns — privately held companies worth more than $1 billion — many of whom grew through leveraging the power of conservative media outlets and programs. Ironically, marketers associated with these brands are overwhelmingly liberal with no interest in political controversy.

Direct brands are data-driven, so when their analytics reveal conservative programming systematically outperforming inoffensive content, they trust the numbers. So brands like Casper, Blue Apron, ZipRecruiter or 23andMe hold their noses and continue pumping promo codes and vanity URLs into conservative podcasts, talk radio and even FOX News, thinking to themselves: “I wish I knew how to quit you, Ben Shapiro!”

In all this, there is confusion about what sponsorship actually symbolizes.

While conservative programming yields superior results, many marketers abstain from it, for fear of promoting values differing from than their own. This is not only faulty thinking. It is dangerous to democracy and a slippery slope. Sponsorship doesn’t mean you share values with talent. It says you wish to share your values with that talent’s audience. Carried to the extreme, identical values as a prerequisite for sponsorship means corporations dictate where free speech is acceptable and where it is not.

There you have it, while people may resist someone like Laura Ingraham, advertisers already do and don’t show their ads on shows like this. That’s enough to make you ask – the Laura Ingraham Show:

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Let’s spin the wheel shall we? Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! And it lands on… wait for it… No, a whammy!!!

Spin it again. Oh hey it’s time for People Are Dumb! Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people and people are dumb. I feel like anytime we don’t do one of these, there’s tons of stories of people being stupid. Such is the case this week! So let’s start with this story out of Lexington, Kentucky. And Kentucky is really Florida’s Florida. Because when Florida Man or Florida Woman are absent from the news, you can always count on some just absolutely batshit crazy stories coming out of the Blue Grass State. So this woman was channeling her inner J. Walter Weatherman from Arrested Development.

LEXINGTON, Ky. (AP) — A Kentucky woman charged with drunken driving told police she did it "to teach her son a lesson."

News outlets report 48-year-old Sunita Jairam was arrested early Sunday on charges including endangering the welfare of a minor.

Her arrest citation says she told police she "drank a bunch of beer" and drove at 150 mph (241 kph). It's unclear what lesson she was trying to impart.

The son told police he tried to get out of the BMW subcompact several times, but the door was locked. News outlets didn't list his age.


And that’s why you don’t drive drunk to teach lessons to your son! Because then you will almost always see the PoPos! Next up, we go to this story out of Madison, Wisconsin. Look… I’m a guy, I get it, and if there’s one thing you don’t do, you never, ever, under any circumstances get between a man and his toys. Doesn’t matter if they are power tools, comic books, electronics, jet skis, riding lawnmowers, computer parts, motorcycles, or action figures. Just… don’t do it. Because this will happen. And it won't end well for you. And I love the guy’s statement, by the way.

Around 10 p.m. on Sunday night, a 34-year-old Madison, Wisconsin man called 911 to report himself.

The man, whose name hasn’t been released, said his problems began with his collection of prized action figures, according to Madison Police Chief Mike Koval’s blog on the incident. The man explained that he’d been drinking, and he thought his wife had damaged some of them. He said he may have “overreacted.”

“Overreacted,” in his words, meant waiting for his wife to leave the house, grabbed an axe, and demolishing every valuable sight. He’d swung it through the TV, then taken it to a laptop and a few other choice possessions.

Then he went outside to the car. After a few discerning smashes -- including hacking off the side mirrors -- he slammed the blade so hard into the windshield it stuck. That’s where they found the weapon when the police pulled up -- sticking out of the car windshield like some kind of Wisconsinite Excalibur.

Read more: http://www.citypages.com/news/hubby-goes-on-axe-rampage-over-prized-action-figures-say-cops/504750062

Yeah that dude’s got nothing on Archer, by the way! Next up, we go to our favorite state of guess where, that’s right – Florida. I also live in California, which means that we do not have access to the great restaurant chain known as Waffle House. Which means we’re missing out on all the crazy people who hang out at Waffle House in the wee hours of the morning after they’ve been up on all night crystal meth tweaks:

According to a police report from the Escambia County Sheriff’s Office, a woman later identified as Freedom Zobrist was causing problems in the parking lot. A Waffle House employee had called authorities after noticing the woman had dropped her pants and was blocking traffic.

The employee told her to leave but she became “verbally abusive,” and threatened to retrieve her firearm and “shoot him in the face.” He said the unemployed Pensacola resident also threatened to shoot everyone in the diner.

The worker then said Zobrist walked in to the middle of the parking lot, yanked her pants down, “exposing her sexual organs,” and began to dance.

The employee then said the 38-year-old went over to him and tried to grab his genitals and “lick both sides of his face.”

Next up we go to New Hampshire for this one. Remember that episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry was being accused of having certain acts of a sexy time nature being performed while he was driving? Well, this is a case of life imitating art and one where the acts in question were being performed by professionals.

While stopped at a red light Tuesday afternoon, a New Hampshire motorist was living his best life, smoking crack cocaine and being fellated by a woman in the passenger seat, police report.

Manchester Police Department detectives spotted Michael Douville, 51, behind the wheel of a Chrysler 300 stopped at an intersection. Douville, a Nashua resident, was engaged in...illegal acts” at the time, cops allege.

When two detectives approached the vehicle and identified themselves, Douville sped off. He was subsequently apprehended by a third cop. His passenger, however, “fled the area and was not located,” investigators say.

Seen above, Douville was arrested on several charges, including lewdness, narcotics possession, and disobeying a police officer.

Ah, classic Larry! Finally this week we go to Boise, Idaho for this one. And I’m not making fun of the mass stabbing by the way. What I am making fun of is the fact that the guy who committed the mass stabbing wants to change his name to something completely ridiculous. That’s right – the guy who is accused of stabbing 9 people is going to change his name to this.

Timmy Earl Kinner Jr., accused of stabbing nine people in Boise last June, wants to change his name to Eternal Love, according to court records.

Kinner, who turned 31 last Friday, was granted a hearing on his petition at 1:30 p.m. March 19 before Judge Lynnette McHenry.

On the form that asked why he wanted to change his name, Kinner wrote: “because this is my God given right & the title I want to be known as & remembered by.”

In Idaho, name changes require a judge’s approval, and the state has strict laws about name changes meant to obscure association with crimes.

Yeah it’s about as ridiculous as having the name Creamy Goodness. That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Deep State Diaries Episode 27: The Bureau Of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms
[br] [/font]

Let’s spin the wheel one final time this week! Oh hey and it’s another clip without context!

And Bill Mitchell sort of looks like a creepy serial killer. I mean I wouldn’t be surprised in the least if he recreates the “Goodnight Horses” scene from Silence Of The Lambs in his basement. Spin it again! Oh hey it’s time for Deep State Diaries!

It’s time for episode 27 of Deep State Diaries. Yes we’re touring the many branches and services that make up the United States government. Everything from the FBI to the IRS to the Pentagon to the CIA to the DPW to the DVA to parks and recreation and all branches and services in between. Of course if you’re here you probably already know more about our government and how it works than your average Fox News loving Trump supporter does. So that’s what this segment is going to address. We are going to do a deep dive into all that makes the United States the United States. Because we here at the Top 10 love to educate as well as entertain. Because we care.

[font size="6"]The Bureau Of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms[/font]

This week we’re gonna fire some guns, smoke some fine cigars and get drunk! Because we’re hanging out with the Bureau Of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms! Whew! So what does the ATF actually do? That is what we’re here to find out. So the ATF started as a joint venture between the FBI and the DOJ back after prohibition ended. Then they expanded to become their own branch of the law enforcement arm of the government back in the 1970s. So what do they do today? What is the role of the ATF? Well let’s see what they are in the news for this week! Well let’s just say that you want the ATF around in case of crime like this.

Close to 300 weapons stolen from gun shops across the metro Atlanta area in just a couple of months. ATF agents now say they can trace those stolen firearms back to one guy. Agents have linked the crimes to 31-year-old James Clifford Roberts, a convicted felon from Atlanta.

The gun store burglaries began Oct. 25, 2018. Stores in Jonesboro, Alpharetta, Buford, and Homer were hit. The biggest heist was at Hi-Caliber in Holly Springs. Crooks broke into that store in late November and took off with 180 guns.

When thieves broke into Deercreek Gun Shop in Marietta Suzette McCain, who lives across the street says she's the one who called the police.

"I saw the cars backed up behind the place. Like I told the Detective, it don't make sense they keep doing this," said McCain.

Police say they got away with 21 guns from Deercreek.

In all, 293 firearms were stolen from six stores in two months. Law Enforcement says the M-O was the same across the board. Prior to breaking in, the power to the build was cut, disabling surveillance cameras and alarms.

Hey sporting goods stores! If you’re going to sell guns, which is your right to do so, you’d better get some better security! And speaking of security, the ATF is pushing for some strong new measures to help fight future crimes. Thankfully we’re not in Minority Report territory yet but we’re getting very close to that.

A new nationwide push is changing the way officers collect evidence in an effort to solve violent crimes by connecting them, but the News4 I-Team found some departments aren't doing it — even though it could help solve crimes in neighboring cities.

"Gun violence is the most difficult thing that we have to deal with," said Metropolitan Police Department Chief Peter Newsham.

With 160 murders in D.C. last year, he knows the value of strong evidence. That's why his officers are required to pick up every shell casing, even if the call was just for sounds of gunfire. Years ago, that wasn't the case.

"If you arrived on the scene and nobody was injured and you didn't have a crime, then you would clear the scene with no report. Now, we handle it completely differently," said Newsham.

It's called comprehensive collection. The federal Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF) calls D.C. one of the nation's leaders in doing it.

But you need strong evidence. Because you know what? In a country where we have more guns than people, we need to start addressing how many gun shops and sporting goods stores are being broken into, and the ATF needs all the tools they can get to prevent these sort of things from happening.

Federal authorities are offering a reward of up to $5,000 for information that helps them find those responsible for stealing firearms early Friday from the Cabela’s store in Kansas City, Kan.

The break-in alarm was reported just before 3 a.m. Friday at the store located at 10300 Cabela Drive. Several long guns were stolen, according to the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives.

The agency says Cabela’s is a federally licensed firearms dealer. KCK police along with ATF agents in Kansas City are investigating the incident.

That is a good question, Chief! And by the way, in case you’re wondering why we have such draconian drug laws, how has it taken *THIS* long for the ATF to decide that maybe they’re not making us safer? I mean why not when we have this many people breaking into gun shops and sporting goods stores to steal guns like they’re in an Avengers or super hero movie! The answer is NO!!! They are not making us safer! This is the opposite of safe!

CHICAGO (CBS) — It took 16 years of work in the legislature, but Thursday Gov. JB Pritzker signed a landmark gun control bill into law.

With the signing of the law, Illinois solidified its position in the ranks with states like California, Connecticut, Massachusetts and New Jersey, which have some of the most comprehensive laws on the books.

Des Plaines gun dealer Dan Eldridge echoes concerns from critics of the law that the rules are onerous.

“They are duplicative of what we have with Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms,” Eldridge, the owner of Maxon Shooter Supplies, said.

California, Connecticut, Massachusetts, New Jersey and, now, Illinois all require the background checks on employees. They all require that dealers are licensed by the state. And also like the law Pritzker signed Thursday, they require certain security measures like proper storage.

[font size="6"]Score Card [/font]

Overall importance: B-
How Things Are Going: B
Likely hood To Survive: B+

Overall: B-

[font size="6"]Next Week [/font]

Assuming our government is still open, next week’s Deep State Diaries is going to keep the drug train going as we hang out with the DEA!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Greta Van Fleet[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is an awesome band from Frankenmuth, Michigan. Their latest album is called “Anthem Of The Peaceful Army”. You can see them on tour this April and May. Playing their song “You’re The One”, give it up for Greta Van Fleet!

Thank you Salt Lake City! We had a great time on this very short tour, we are back home in Anaheim next week. See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Wiseguys Comedy Club, Salt Lake City, UT
Special Thanks To: Wiseguys Management
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: Bethel Church Band, Salt Lake City
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Articles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
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Research: Top 10 Research Department
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HR: Top 10 Human Resources Department
Initech’s Wardrobe Provided By: JAB Inc.
Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
Greta Van Fleet Appear Courtesy Of: Republic Records
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
Follow The Top 10 On Twitter at: @10Idiots
Questions? Comments? Complaints? Hate mail? E-mail The Top 10 at: Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com

Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

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Reply Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-4: Wheel Of Corruption: The Crimes Of Grindlewald Edition (Original post)
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Wed Jan 30, 2019, 06:17 PM

1. Bookmarking for tonight

Up and running on the hour - impressive as usual

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Wed Jan 30, 2019, 06:28 PM

2. knr

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