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Wed Nov 28, 2018, 06:00 PM

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #5-21: Wheel Of Corruption & The Half Blood Prince Pt. 2 Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #5-21: Wheel Of Corruption & The Half Blood Prince Pt. 2 Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! What’s up Phoenix? Hey you guys are the last stop on our US tour this year. Ah, now don’t be sad! we will be back soon. And yes there are liberals in Phoenix, I know a few of them! I know this is Sheriff Joe country. Whew, man, I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving, because shit got real dark real quick. So let’s talk about something fun, like how Axl Rose put on the Guns N Roses show of a lifetime despite the fact that he was violently ill. So they were in Abu Dhabi doing a show, and came out and told the crowd that he wasn’t feeling great. But they went on to play a whopping 20 songs. I don’t care who you are or where you come from but that’s pretty damned impressive if you ask me! So naturally they were getting a lot of crap from the local radio stations but really, who cares? Dave Grohl played 10 songs after he crashed to the floor and broke his leg! That’s true dedication. And as to whether or not they’re going to let something like a little vomit ruin the end of their tour? GNR said hell no! They plan to power through the next few months and finish out the tour as scheduled. I have to say GNR has my newfound respect, and I still love that Axl Rose continues to troll Trump over Trump’s use of Sweet Child O’ Mine at his rallies. If you don’t follow Axl on Twitter, you definitely should! OK that’s enough of the intro, we got a lot of idiocy to get to, but first for John Oliver’s season finale, we have to play his story on the rise of authoritarianism around the globe, and if you’re not alarmed by this, you should be:


Holy shit, where do we begin this week? Hey everybody, the Wheel Of Corruption is back! And, to start with, we got to talk about the guy who we currently call “president”, Donald J. Trump (1) and his iron fist policy at the US – Mexican border, and yeah, that is the stuff of pure fucking evil. In the second slot this week is also Donald Trump (2) and he's setting a rather dangerous and almost certainly evil precedent by putting the interests of Saudi Arabia and that insane $110 billion arms deal above the interests of American citizens. Yes, this is a bad deal with a dirty dealer and very evil. And speaking of evil, for the third slot this week, we got to talk about the Proud Boys (3). So after the brew ha ha in Brooklyn, Gavin McInnes quit the group and it’s an absurdly stupid tale of the possible demise of everyone’s favorite Trump loving hate group. In the fourth slot, we’re all gonna die!!!! Well not really but this extremely alarming new study on climate change (4) is going to be presenting some grim news that might have the potential to kill us all. In the fifth slot this week is of course our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates (5) and this week, we’re going to take a look at a chicken pox outbreak in an ant-vaccination stronghold in North Carolina, and more importantly, where is the bullshit coming from? At number 6 is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and this week our resident pastor is going to ask the question “Is CNN Satanic?”? Well the answer is in no way shocking if you know religious Trump supporters at all! For the seventh slot, we’ve got one of our favorite features – “Beating A Dead Horse” (7) and it’s back for the 3rd week in a row. So did you see the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade this year? If so you might have seen two women kissing, and well, the religious right is having NONE of that. Yeah, give it a rest! For the 8th slot this week we’ve got a brand new feature for you, and it’s simply called “NO!!!!”. Did you hear about the high school seniors in Baraboo, Wisconsin who made a Nazi salute for a yearbook photo? NO!!!! Or simply NEIN!!!! And speaking of the ninth slot (NEIN!!!!), we’ve got a new, Thanksgiving edition of People Are Dumb (9), because even during the holidays, stupid doesn’t take one! Finally this week we’ve got a brand new installment of our ongoing series that explains how government works to your Trump loving friends and relatives, Deep State Diaries (10) is going to take a look at the US Census Bureau! Controversy alert! And to cap it off, we’ve got some live music for you from Linkin Park’s own Mike Shinoda! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Hey everyone say it with me: It’s time for the WHEEL OF CORRUPTION! YAY!!!!!

Of course you know the rules by now – I spin the wheel and we have to talk about whatever it lands on. Of course if it lands on the guacamole option, you know that it costs $1.50 extra. So here’s what is on the wheel this week:

- Guns
- Abortion
- Crime
- Racism
- Poverty
- Election Theft
- Buy A Vowel
- Clip Without Context
- Greed
- Sexism
- Spying
- Food
- Elections
- Donald Trump
- Clip Without Context
- Chance
- 5,000
- Bankrupt
- No
- Community Chest
- Donald Trump
- A Random Tweet
- Something Random In The News
- ‘Merica!
- Golf
- 10,000
- Guacamole
- Holy Shit
- Beating A Dead Horse
- This Fucking Guy
- How Is This Still A Thing?
- Harry Potter
- 15,000
- People Are Dumb
- I Need A Drink
- Infowars
- T-Shirt Cannon
- Lightning Round
- Bonus Spin

Let’s get this going! Spin that shit! Come on, no whammy, no whammy, no whammy… stop!!! And it’s a random tweet!

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm… post apocalypse Thanksgiving dinner in a bucket! That just looks so appetizing doesn’t it? Just look at the green bean casserole, that looks like vomit doesn’t it? Spin it again! Donald Trump! So yeah, the caravan finally hit the Mexican border, and as you can imagine it was a complete shit show. Rather than being met with open arms and doing what it says on the bottom of the Statue of Liberty, instead, Trump raised his middle finger high in the air and lobbied teargas at the people who wanted in, because, illegal immigrant hysteria.

President Donald Trump suggested Monday that some adults had "grabbed" children at the Southwestern border to better their chances of entering the US while confronting federal agents during an incident Sunday that resulted in the use of tear gas.

Trump -- speaking at a roundtable event in Biloxi, Mississippi -- described what he called "grabbers" -- migrants who grab children and "think they'll have a certain status by having a child." He alluded to the people with children in the group as possibly not being their parents.

"In some cases, you know, they're not the parents," the President said. "These are people, they call 'em grabbers. They grab a child because they think they'll have a certain status by having a child. You know, you have certain advantages in terms of our crazy laws that, frankly, Congress should be changing."

When asked for evidence of his claim by reporters, Trump demurred.

Really? That’s a thing? I mean seriously how deluded do you have to be to even suggest such a thing? Oh wait, he was at a rally for Cindy Hyde-Smith, a racist who keeps losing her sponsors, because she’s such a racist. OK, moving on. But really, the immigration debate has gone completely off the rails and now these are the kinds of things we’re forced to deal with. But one thing the border isn’t? it’s not Trump’s personal plaything!

It never should have come to this, to scenes of women and children running from tear gas fired by American border agents.

And it wouldn’t have happened if President Donald Trump hadn’t done everything he could to create a crisis at the border.

He began concocting the humanitarian nightmare that now exists from the very beginning of his campaign, falsely claiming that the southern border was begin overrun by migrants.
Truth is lost in immigration debate

The truth is that the number of border crossers apprehended by border patrol officers in 2017 was the lowest since the early 1970s.

Trump also knows – or should know – that the migrants in the caravan from Central America are fleeing from some of the worst situations on the planet.

As Democratic Sen. Sen. Amy Klobuchar said over the weekend, the Trump administration “should have been working with these Central American countries a long time ago” to curb mass flight from violence and poverty.

Instead, Trump makes continuous threats and tries to rewrite the federal statute for asylum seekers without involving Congress.

Yeah so that did happen. And not only that, Trump continues to pour gasoline on the fire, because hey, that’s exactly what he does. I mean the Statue Of Liberty does not read “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, and go fuck yourselves!”. No, it doesn’t! And not only that, Trump is going full Nazi and threatening to close the border!

The busiest border checkpoint on the U.S.-Mexico border, San Ysidro Port of Entry, was closed to crossings Sunday, officials with U.S. Customs and Border Protection announced amid reports of Central American migrants attempting to breach the border.

The border checkpoint was closed to all traffic by 11:40 a.m. local time as migrants protested in an effort to plead the U.S to move faster in processing asylum requests, according to The Associated Press.

Lanes have reopened as of 5:15 p.m. local time.

Here are the latest updates:

Update 6:50 a.m. EST Nov. 26: President Donald Trump took to Twitter early Monday, threatening to permanently close the border to prevent migrants from coming into the country.

“Mexico should move the flag waving Migrants, many of whom are stone cold criminals, back to their countries,” Trump tweeted. “Do it by plane, do it by bus, do it anyway you want, but they are NOT coming into the U.S.A. We will close the Border permanently if need be. Congress, fund the WALL!”

Wow, even I’m out on this one. So president man baby continues to use the border as his personal play toy and is using it to get his bullshit wall, which isn’t going to stop shit. I mean really if you build a 50 foot wall, someone is going to build a 60 foot ladder. Just ask Berlin how well that went. Thank you audience! But this might be the most insane justification of these war crimes being committed at the border:

U.S. Customs and Border Protection on Sunday closed part of the southern border with Mexico and fired tear gas and pepper spray at Central American migrants attempting to breach a fence separating the two countries.

Images of fleeing women and children, like the one captured in the tweet below, were widely shared, drawing condemnation from those calling it “inhumane,” “an abomination” and “antithetical to America.”

CBP said “several migrants threw projectiles at the agents in San Diego. Border Patrol agents deployed tear gas to dispel the group because of the risk to agents’ safety. Several agents were hit by the projectiles.”

On Fox & Friends, host Ainsley Earhardt had a different message. “If you don’t want a speeding ticket, don’t speed,” she said.

Besides, pepper spray is no big deal, according to former U.S. Border Patrol deputy chief Ron Colburn, who explained to the Fox hosts early Monday how it could be used as a topping on a favorite Mexican dish:

Oh yeah you can use military grade pepper spray as a taco topping! It goes great with Sriracha! But really guys, grow the fuck up. Oh wait, you don’t. And of course President Man Baby doubles down on the crimes he committed this week:

President Donald Trump is strongly defending the U.S. use of tear gas at the Mexican border to repel a crowd of migrants that included angry rock-throwers but also barefoot, crying children.

Critics denounced the border agents’ action as overkill, but Trump kept to a hard line.

“They were being rushed by some very tough people and they used tear gas,” Trump said Monday of the previous day’s encounter. “Here’s the bottom line: Nobody is coming into our country unless they come in legally.”

The showdown at the San Diego-Tijuana border crossing has thrown into sharp relief two competing narratives about the caravan of migrants hoping to apply for asylum but stuck on the Mexican sider. Trump portrays them as a threat to U.S. national security, intent on exploiting America’s asylum law, but others insist he is exaggerating to stoke fears and achieve his political goals.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… wait for it… oh hey it’s a clip without context!

Someone’s not getting any! Uh… so how do you explain the hot lesbians, Dave? Yeah there’s a hole in your theory there. Spin it again! Donald Trump. So in the last week, Trump has put that insane arms deal with Saudi Arabia at the forefront of his Saudi Arabia First policy. Hey you know what? Let’s make Saudi Arabia Great Again! Riyadh first! And so on. Trump is really trying hard to bury the murder of Jamal Khashoogi, but really that is one thing that will come back to bite him in the ass hard when the dems take over the House in October.

Rarely does one crisis faithfully reflect all the flaws or strengths of an administration’s foreign policy. And yet what is so stunning and disturbing about President Donald Trump’s response to the Saudi murder of Washington Post columnist Jamal Khashoggi is that it does precisely that.

From the outset of the Trump presidency, the pattern has been clear: Trump, contradicting both U.S. interests and values, feels more comfortable with strongmen and authoritarians than with America’s traditional democratic allies. It’s no surprise he’s courted Saudi King Salman and coddled the Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman (MBS).

All administrations deal with strongmen — and none have elevated human rights to the key organizing principle in U.S. foreign policy. But this administration has nearly emptied America’s foreign policy of moral or ethical values and provided a green light to every authoritarian to repress or kill journalists without consequence, certainly from Washington. And Trump described Saudi Arabia as a “spectacular ally,” even though the CIA has concluded MBS ordered Khashoggi’s murder.

In Trump’s universe, if he thinks something, it must be true. In reality, his faith in Saudi Arabia is built on, well, sand. While it plays a role in counter-terrorism cooperation and maintaining the flow of oil, Trump has greatly exaggerated its importance.

No matter how much he believes the Saudis will shove the administration’s yet-to-be-revealed peace plan down the Palestinians’ throats, spend $450 billion in the U.S. to create hundreds of thousands of new jobs, do America’s bidding on oil pricing policy, and be the linchpin for putting Iran back in its box, it is all magical thinking — just like his beliefs that Mexico will pay for his “beautiful wall,” trade wars are “easy to win,” the Russians didn’t interfere in our presidential election because Putin strongly denied it, and MBS didn’t order the killing of Khashoggi because he was “very strong” in denying it several times.

Make Saudi Arabia Great Again! Make Saudi Arabia Great Again! Make Saudi Arabia Great Again! Ooh, man that was a nice little chant we had going there! But yeah that seemed to be the general consensus here. So why won’t Trump sanction these murderous scumbags? Instead, he wants to give them more weapons, because, deal!

The U.S. invaded Afghanistan (none of the hijackers were Afghans) in response to the Sept. 11 attacks.

The U.S. government insinuated a relationship between al-Qaida and Saddam Hussein’s regime in Iraq as part of its justification for invading that country in 2003 (none of the hijackers were Iraqis, and al-Qaida was among Hussein’s most implacable enemies).

But Saudi Arabia got a free pass, as did the United Arab Emirates, from which two of the hijackers came.

Why? Oil, money, and U.S. foreign policy.

Saudi Arabia and the UAE control a great deal of the world’s oil, and can threaten to disrupt international oil markets (and international life in general) any time they don’t get their way.

Saudi Arabia and the UAE are also the top two buyers of U.S. weapons.

Finally, Saudi Arabia and the UAE support the U.S. agenda of isolating Iran and frustrating its regime’s regional ambitions, and allow the U.S. military to operate bases on their territory pursuant to that agenda.

Woohoo!!! World war III is a coming, yo! But really this is a classic damned if you do, damned if you don’t scenario. But of course Der Trumpenfuror doesn’t see it that way. He’ll do it both ways if it means pissing off the other side.

For more than a month, business leaders across the country have been waiting to get a definitive answer from Washington about what turn the relationship between the United States and Saudi Arabia may take in the wake of the murder of Jamal Khashoggi — and how it might impact their business relationships with the kingdom.

Despite offering public condemnations over Mr. Khashoggi’s death and distancing themselves from the kingdom by pulling out of a major investment conference, many executives appeared to expect that business would quickly, if not quietly, return to normal.

“Keep in mind, it is a big country,” Larry Fink, the BlackRock chief executive, said early this month. “There are many fine people in country, like there are many fine people in every country. These things are not black and white, and they’re very complex.”

But things have changed drastically since then. President Trump has offered a vociferous defense of the kingdom and, by extension, its de facto leader, Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, and dismissed a report from his own intelligence officers that concluded the prince had ordered the murder.

So if you’re keeping score at home, state sanctioned murder, egregious misuse of the military, and violence against journalists are apparently all OK now by their standards. How did we get in this mess in the first place and how are we going to get out of it? Well, deal!

Tunisia’s decision to invite Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman for a visit had local journalists up in arms last week. “Inviting bin Salman to Tunisia is an insult to the revolution and its values,” the Tunisian journalists union announced, upon learning of the invitation. “He’s an enemy of freedom of expression.”

Some 100 Egyptian journalists also issued a statement condemning the visit of bin Salman to Cairo, where he was received Monday with all the requisite flourishes.

These protests were joined by human rights groups in both countries, while the social networks in Egypt, where he landed on Monday, and Tunisia and Algeria, where bin Salman is also expected to visit, were roiling against the visit of the “holder of the saw,” as one tweet called him, and not just because of the murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi.

The Algerian government on Monday was the only Arab government to issue a statement condemning the murder – 53 days after it occurred – but hastened to add that it accepted the Saudi version of events and respects that country’s judicial system.

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[font size="8"]The Proud Boys
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… wait for it… Woohoo! I win 5,000 of something. Not sure what it is but it’s 5,000 of something! Spin it again! And it lands on… Racism. I am loving watching the Proud Boys implode aren’t you? Well after their latest Rumble In The Bronx (see: Idiots #5-17 ), apologies to Jackie Chan, it seems that Paypal is doing the thing that they did to Infowars and revoked their privileges, and it seems that Gavin McInnes is ready to jump ship and wash his hands clean of the group. Here’s more.

In a video posted to YouTube on Wednesday, Proud Boys founder Gavin McInnes publicly claimed to have quit the far-right group.

The move came two days after the Guardian exclusively revealed that the FBI had categorized the Proud Boys as “an extremist group with ties to white nationalism”, in a briefing to Washington state law enforcement.

In a sometimes rambling video, McInnes referenced the Guardian story and the prosecution of seven group members over a street brawl in New York city in October, as he offered reasons for resigning from the group.

“As of today … I am officially disassociating myself from the Proud Boys,” he began.

Referencing the New York group as the “NYC Nine”, McInnes said: “I am told by my legal team and law enforcement that this gesture could help alleviate their sentencing.”

Really? New York Nine? That’s the worst mafia name ever! I mean if you guys are going to be classified as an extremist group by the FBI you should come up with something more threatening! Like Killer Cult or Fight Club, oh wait, that one’s already taken. But you know the song – Saturday Night’s All Right For Fighting, but if you’re the Proud Boys… you might be seeing the inside of a jail cell relatively soon.

The Proud Boys, a punch-happy extremist gang whose members spend their time harassing people online and attacking them in real life, fell apart at the seams last week as the rest of the country gave thanks.

Over the course of the Thanksgiving holiday, the Proud Boys were revealed as an extremist group in the eyes of the FBI; saw their leader, Vice Media co-founder Gavin McInnes, publicly bail on them; added two of their members to a growing list of defendants in a rioting case in New York City; and named a new leader in Jason Lee Van Dyke, their lawyer who himself is a serial harasser and racist criminal. (A representative for Vice Media reached out to HuffPost after publication to note that McInnes left the company 10 years ago.)

Today’s Proud Boys are not the same as yesterday’s Proud Boys, who just last month bragged that they had the support of police after beating protesters in the streets of New York City and Portland, Oregon.

These Proud Boys are being proudly thrown under the bus by their misogynistic and destructive founder. Immediately after that weekend of coastal violence in October, McInnes said publicly that he was arranging for the surrender of the members involved. Eight of them now face charges of assault and rioting in New York City.

Oh sure, it’s all fun and games until someone gets slapped with an assault charge! Maybe that’s why Gavin is bailing on the group? Well, like all horrible things, the Proud Boys started after Trump’s inauguration with the intent of “owning the snowflakes”. But hey, they had their fun and they beat the shit out of some Antifa noobs. But meet the new leader of the Proud Boys, who promises to take the group in a much cleaner direction!

The new leaders of the far-right Proud Boys “fraternity” are scrambling to improve the group’s image after founder Gavin McInnes claimed he was quitting last week, introducing new rules that downplay the group’s penchant for violence and prepare the group for the potential of future law enforcement action.

But not everyone in the Proud Boys is on board with the rules. One prominent member from the group’s militant wing who wants to take the group in a more racist direction claims he’s really the one in charge—and that he won’t let “a few losers who think they own the Proud Boys” take over.

Vice magazine co-founder McInnes launched the Proud Boys in 2016, claiming that the group would be a contemporary version of men’s clubs like the Elks, but devoted to “the West.” Like other men’s clubs, the Proud Boys came with a complicated, bizarre hierarchy that required members to submit to a number of rules, including a “beat-in” hazing ritual where members have to call out the names of cereal brands while they’re punched.

But the Proud Boys quickly attracted more controversy than an ordinary drinking group, especially after members began fighting with left-wing anti-fascist activists at pro-Trump rallies. McInnes insisted his group wasn’t racist, but Proud Boys kept appearing with racist figures or using the group as a gateway to white supremacist activism.

Excuse me a minute… but yeah I think a Proud Boys rally is kind of like that. After all there is heavy drinking involved, and I’ve always seemed to think that they and Antifa must have synced up drinking schedules or something. But you know, they’re your average fun loving white supremacists, now with less fighting!

A government watchdog group calling for more transparency is suing the FBI, saying it should share more information about what it's doing to monitor white supremacists and other hate groups.

The non-profit watchdog group, Property of the People, also uncovered a bombshell report about the Proud Boys. It says the FBI considers the far-right organization to be extremist with links to white nationalism.

Jason L. Van Dyke, a Proud Boys spokesperson who's also worked as a lawyer for the group, adamantly claimed they're not racist before a KATU reporter asked him about a racist tweet.

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[font size="8"]We’re All Gonna Die
[br] [/font]
[br] B

Spin it!!!! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! No, a whammy!!!!

Spin it again! And it lands on the environment! Hey, everyone guess what? We’re all gonna die! Yeah woooooooooooooooooo!!!! Woooooooooo. Woo. Woo. So how are we gonna die this week? It’s not in a nuclear holocaust yet, but it is instead going to be from extremely toxic pollution and a 3 degree change in the climate! It will kill us all… eventually. We think. But of course the powers that be simply don’t give a shit. And I mean they really don’t give a shit! Take a look at what our so called leader is trying to do with the report this week.

President Donald Trump on Monday dismissed a study produced by his own administration, involving 13 federal agencies and more than 300 leading climate scientists, warning of the potentially catastrophic impact of climate change.

Why, you ask?

"I don't believe it," Trump told reporters on Monday, adding that he had read "some" of the report.
On one level, this shouldn't be surprising. Trump's views on climate change at this point are very, very well established.

Just over eight years ago, he tweeted this: "The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive." In 2014, he penned this tweet: "It's late in July and it is really cold outside in New York. Where the hell is GLOBAL WARMING??? We need some fast! It's now CLIMATE CHANGE."

Yeah so we’re all gonna die! Not from a nuclear holocaust, but the Trump administration is working hard to making Black Lungs Great Again! you know guys, there’s a reason why it’s called “Black Lung”. And no, it’s

The federal government on Friday released a long-awaited report with an unmistakable message: The effects of climate change, including deadly wildfires, increasingly debilitating hurricanes and heat waves, are already battering the United States, and the danger of more such catastrophes is worsening.

The report’s authors, who represent numerous federal agencies, say they are more certain than ever that climate change poses a severe threat to Americans' health and pocketbooks, as well as to the country’s infrastructure and natural resources. And while it avoids policy recommendations, the report’s sense of urgency and alarm stands in stark contrast to the lack of any apparent plan from President Trump to tackle the problems, which, according to the government he runs, are increasingly dire.

The congressionally mandated document — the first of its kind issued during the Trump administration — details how climate-fueled disasters and other types of worrisome changes are becoming more commonplace throughout the country and how much worse they could become in the absence of efforts to combat global warming.


If you thought the 2018 hurricanes and fires were bad, wait until you see the 2019 hurricanes and wildfires! Hey I don’t remember there being a triple digit storm category! And if the fires and hurricanes are going to destroy your house, guess what? They’re also going to destroy your wallet! So you might want to hang on to your cash now, ladies and gentlemen!

A major scientific report issued by 13 federal agencies on Friday presents the starkest warnings to date of the consequences of climate change for the United States, predicting that if significant steps are not taken to rein in global warming, the damage will knock as much as 10 percent off the size of the American economy by century’s end.

The report, which was mandated by Congress and made public by the White House, is notable not only for the precision of its calculations and bluntness of its conclusions, but also because its findings are directly at odds with President Trump’s agenda of environmental deregulation, which he asserts will spur economic growth.

Mr. Trump has taken aggressive steps to allow more planet-warming pollution from vehicle tailpipes and power plant smokestacks, and has vowed to pull the United States out of the Paris Agreement, under which nearly every country in the world pledged to cut carbon emissions. Just this week, he mocked the science of climate change because of a cold snap in the Northeast, tweeting, “Whatever happened to Global Warming?”

Yeah probably. So this is going to destroy your home and possibly your wallet, and your investments and anything else you might hold dear. I mean shit, this news is so devastating that the entire world might be turning upside down. Hey, Al Gore warned us! He warned us! So, with that, get ready to say hello to the Great Brown North!

The increasing number of extreme events is causing dieback of Arctic plants or 'browning' across Arctic regions, a study has found. Scientists from the University of Sheffield in the UK studying the Arctic which is warming twice as fast as the global average found that plant dieback following these events could significantly reduce the ability of Arctic ecosystems to help combat climate change.

Previously, scientists had found that increasing summer warmth in the Arctic was encouraging vegetation to grow, turning areas green.

"Despite the scale of Arctic browning, until now we knew very little about its impacts on ecosystem carbon balance; the balance between carbon uptake by vegetation and its release from vegetation and soils," said Rachael Treharne, a PhD student at the University of Sheffield.

The study, published in the journal Global Change Biology, assessed the impacts of Arctic browning driven by extreme climatic events.

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates
[br] [/font]

Let’s spin the wheel shall we? Come on wheel goes round, wheel goes round, wheel goes round… and it lands on… another Clip Without Context!

Ah yes, I believe this is known as the classic “I’m Rubber You’re Glue” defense. Famously used in the case of Doo Doo Head V. Poo Poo Head. Spin it again! It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

There’s many things that you could possibly die from during your lifespan, and there’s many things happening now that could signal the end on a mass scale. Those things include the possibility of a nuclear holocaust and polluting on a catastrophic scale. But there’s one thing that you could possibly die from that you might not expect – deadly diseases that were supposedly eradicated decades ago. With the rise of anti-vaccination crusaders that’s a very real possibility.

A North Carolina school with a large anti-vaccine community is at the heart of the state's largest chickenpox outbreak in decades, officials say.

On Friday 36 students at Asheville Waldorf School were diagnosed with the disease, the Asheville Citizen-Times newspaper reported.

The school has one of the state's highest rates of religious exemption, allowing students to skip vaccination.

US health officials say vaccinating is far safer than getting chickenpox.

"This is the biggest chickenpox outbreak state health officials are aware of since the vaccine became available," a North Carolina Department of Health spokesman told the BBC in an emailed statement.

Out of the Waldorf School's 152 students, 110 have not received the vaccine for the varicella virus, known to most as chickenpox, the Citizen-Times found.

So how did this happen? How did we get to this point? Well there’s many theories but one theory seems to stem from religion and the fact that many religious people are adopting the idea that not vaccinating your kids means you won’t get autism. But they don’t know that. In fact nobody does. But the last thing anyone wants is small pox, chicken pox, polio or anything of the sort.

The number of N.C. kindergarteners opting out of required childhood vaccinations on religious grounds more than doubled in the five school years from 2012 to 2016. And both public health officials and anti-vaccine advocates agree that the exemption is being claimed by parents whose true objection to the shots has nothing to do with faith.

“I’ve had parents tell me they use it because there is no way for the state to decline it,” said Sen. Jeff Tarte, a Republican from Mecklenburg County. In 2015, he introduced a bill that would have eliminated the religious exemption for all children except those who are homeschooled. He and his co-sponsors dropped the bill within two weeks because of opposition from those who say the government should not force anyone to be injected with anything.

No one is forcing you to do anything. But wouldn’t you rather sleep easier at night knowing that you’re not going to get deadly diseases? Wow, that is an astonishing level of stupid. So this is the biggest outbreak of the deadly disease known as chicken pox that hasn’t been seen in 20 years.

A North Carolina school with an anti-vaccine community at its heart is experiencing its worst outbreak of chickenpox in more than two decades.

The Ashville Waldorf primary school in Asheville, North Carolina, reported 36 cases of chickenpox this month.

Out of the school’s 152 students, 110 have not received vaccinations, according to the Citizen-Times newspaper.

The school boasts one of the highest vaccination exemption rates in the state, with families citing religious beliefs as the main reason for eschewing the preventative measure.

This is the worst outbreak since a vaccine for the contagious disease - which once affected 90 per cent of Americans - became available 20 years ago.

The school said in a statement: "Asheville Waldorf School is committed to protecting the health and safety of our community."

Apparently you’re not doing a very good job of it. So why did this community earn such a badge of dishonor? What could be the cause of 110 out of 156 kids not being properly vaccinated? Well the answer may shock you. Those anti vaccination messages you’re getting on your social media feeds? Guess where those might be coming from? Well, the answer is in no, way, shape, or form shocking.

Don't ever say that no one cares about your health. Apparently Russian bots and trolls do care a lot.

A study published in the American Journal of Public Health showed that Russian bots and trolls seem to be quite active in sending both anti-vaccination and pro-vaccination messages through Twitter. A team researchers from George Washington University (David A. Broniatowski PhD, SiHua Qi SM, and Lulwah AlKulaib SM), the University of Maryland (Sandra C. Quinn PhD and Amelia M. Jamison MAA, MPH), and Johns Hopkins University (Tao Chen PhD, Adrian Benton MS, , and Mark Dredze PhD) collected tweets from July 2014 through September 2017 and reviewed over 250 vaccination-related tweets sent by accounts connected to the Internet Research Agency. The Internet research Agency ain't just about research because it is backed by the Russian government and been indicted by a U.S. grand jury for attempting to meddle with the 2016 U.S. elections. My fellow Forbes contributor Arlene Weintraub covered this study nicely so you can read her article for more details.

So why would Russian bots and trolls send both anti-vaccination and pro-vaccination messages? Because they are indecisive, wishy-washy, or wondering to bot or not to bot? Nah, there's a good chance that they realize that our country is susceptible to being influenced, being divided, and overlooking established science. Routine childhood vaccination was a settled issue two decades ago. Vaccines have been among the greatest of public health triumphs. Without vaccines, many people would not be surviving long enough to get on Twitter or Facebook. Vaccines helped effectively eliminate measles from the U.S. back in 2000.

Yup, it’s Russia again. Which makes us wonder whether or not Russia should just be banned from the internet – they offer nothing but bad ideas. That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
[br] [/font]

Let’s spin the wheel shall we? And it lands on… oh hey it’s a clip without context!

Oh yeah because an extinction level event is just so damn funny isn’t it? Well… spin it again! Oh hey it’s time for Holy Shit! Gather around, my fair brothers and sisters of Phoenix, it’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For the Holy Church of the Top 10 has convened and it’s our weekly duty to remind you why the holiest among us are also the most full of:

My fair congregation! You know in my quest to understand supporters of the Dark One, whose name shall not be spoken in my church, I came upon a stark realization. And that is that they have a warped view of what is satanic or not. Because the man who they put on a pedestal as a shining example of GAWD himself is actually a DAYMON!!! And apparently there are organizations with views that one might call “satanic”.

End Times broadcaster Rick Wiles weighed in on the news that CNN’s Jim Acosta had his press credentials temporarily restored on Friday by declaring that CNN is part of a demonic effort to destroy freedom in America.

“CNN is consumed with the spirit of rebellion and sedition, which is witchcraft,” Wiles said on his “TruNews” program on Friday. “Let’s not make any mistake about identifying what this is.”

“And the source of witchcraft is the mouth of hell itself,” agreed co-host Doc Burkhart.

“This is a fight for survival and he has got to resist them,” Wiles added. “Mr. Trump needs to publicly state that he is calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ to defend him. That is my prayer, that is my hope, that I hear Donald J. Trump publicly say, ‘I am calling on the name of Jesus Christ to fight my battles. My enemies are too great and too big and only God can help me.'”

Trump is “not fighting flesh and blood,” Wiles warned, but rather “demonic powers.”

“If they win,” he continued, “there will be no freedom in this country, perhaps for centuries. That is what this fight is all about, the elimination of freedom. Because it is a thoroughly corrupt, evil, wicked regime. They kill babies. They promote homosexuality. They promote sorcery and witchcraft. They’re evil. They’re wicked. Their wickedness is beyond our comprehension. That’s what we’re up against and that’s what’s trying to destroy President Trump. And if they succeed, the rest of us are going to be devoured by them. That is a fact.”

No, Rick, that is not a fact, that is well, it’s whatever the opposite of a fact is! So apparently CNN is something that someone might call “Satanic”. But no! Let me show you what real SATANISM is, ladies and gentlemen! But yes these people really do think that CNN is the spawn of the devil himself!!!

Religious Right radio host E.W. Jackson said on his “The Awakening” program yesterday that he will not believe anything reported by CNN because founder Ted Turner has said negative things about Christianity.

Turner, who once called Christianity “a religion for losers,” has reportedly softened his view in recent years, but Jackson still refuses to trust anything that CNN reports because he believes that the network is in league with Satan.

“CNN was founded by a renowned, convinced, convicted atheist,” Jackson said. “That spirit, that anti-Christ anointing is still on that thing, which is why their lead anchor is how he is. I don’t need to go any further than that, but he’s a confused young man and it’s because that spirit of atheism and anti-God and anti-Christian mindset just permeates that thing. So they’re not going to get anything right because when you’re that off—see, I really believe this—when you’re off spiritually like that, it’s very hard to get anything else right.”

Likewise, Jackson went on to say that he would refuse to be operated on by a surgeon who is an atheist.

“I’m serious,” he said. “I don’t care how good he is supposed to be because I believe when you’re that off about the fundamental nature of life, I can’t trust you with anything else. That’s it. Sorry. I can’t trust you with anything else because, to me, you are in league with the spirit of Satan. Why would I want to entrust my life to you and give the devil a shot at me? No, thank you.”

The same principle applies to CNN, Jackson said. “When the root is poison, guess what? The fruit is poison.”

Yes, the DAYMON hellfire is everywhere and the scourge of the wrath of GAWD shall not go unnoticed, can I get an amen!!! For it says in our good book “judge not lest ye be judged”, does it not? And I can prove it, I have it right here. But that’s not real SATANISM. Nothing is, at least how they are describing it! Here’s some real Satanism at work!

A group of Satanists that sued Netflix for $50 million for allegedly copying the image of its goat-headed deity has "amicably settled" its lawsuit with the video streaming giant.

The Satanic Temple organization claimed Netflix and Warner Bros. had copied the image of Baphomet -- a winged, half-man, half-goat figure that has been worshiped by various occult groups -- in its program "The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina."

A reproduction of the figure appeared in four episodes of the show without the group's permission, the group claimed.

But the group's leader said the suit has now been settled, and that "the unique elements of the Satanic Temple's Baphomet statue" will be acknowledged in the credits of the show's episodes.

"The Satanic Temple is pleased to announce that the lawsuit it recently filed against Warner Bros. and Netflix has been amicably settled," Lucien Greaves wrote in a statement.

So the DEVIL is all around us, as you can clearly see! If not in our news networks then it’s in our network shows! I mean it’s all well and good but what does the Church Of Satan really think?

There are two prominent Satanic organizations, and only one of them has a problem with Netflix's Chilling Adventures of Sabrina.

The Satanic Temple filed a lawsuit against Netflix and Warner Bros. last week, alleging the statue of the Dark Lord in Sabrina's Academy of Unseen Arts infringes on the copyright of the organization's own statue of Baphomet. However, the Satanic Temple shouldn't be confused with the Church of Satan, which doesn't have a beef with the new Netflix series.

In a statement, the Church of Satan distanced itself from the Satanic Temple, which it says is known for "childish PR stunts" that "are not in anyway representative of the apolitical, individualistic and atheistic religion of Satanism."

The Church previously assessed FX's American Horror Story: Apocalypse and Sabrina, and noted, "Our members are watching these as many are horror fans and, as might be expected, some enjoy them and others find them not to their tastes—mileage varies amongst our folks who care enough to view it. We aren’t a collective, but a varied cabal of individuals, so to each his own!"

Yes, because apparently the devil works more among us than GAWD and JAYSUS do! Now in the Good Book does it not say that the dark one shall appear as creature of light? Yes, yes, it does I have it right here in front of me, sir! I mean even the church of SATAN says that DEMONIC forces are far more at work than an organization reporting on the news!

Satanic graffiti found in old bunkers is the work of "pranksters" rather than devil-worshippers, says an expert.

The symbols found in the warren of tunnels under Fort Austin in Plymouth are linked to Satanism, Church of Satan high priest Peter Gilmore said.

But he dismissed them as the work of teenagers "to upset the people who discover them" and said Satanists would have their "own home ritual spaces".

Police said the site was dangerous and the council pledged to block it up.

There you have it folks, the DEVIL may not be working in CNN but he is definitely working in our media and our graffiti! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse
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Let’s spin the wheel shall we? Wheel goes round, and it lands on… what? Bankrupt? NO!!!!!

Spin it again. Oh hey it’s time for Beating A Dead Horse!

You know there are guarantees in America. Like you can guarantee that Trump is going to wake up, that is, assuming he sleeps at all, thinking “how can I be a dick today?”. You can also count on the internet outrage machine to crank it up way past 11 any time there’s a homosexual kiss on TV. And by outrage machine, I mean conservative Christian snowflakes who call themselves “family organizations” can really turn on the tears. So after the kiss seen ‘round America between two lesbian lovers on national TV, guess how they reacted? Well… very predictably as you might imagine!

A conservative group faced backlash on Twitter after it claimed the same-sex kiss televised live from the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York had broken the innocence of “millions of small children.”

ForAmerica ― whose mission is to “reinvigorate the public with the principles of American exceptionalism: freedom, prosperity and virtue” — accused Macy’s and NBC of blindsiding parents Thursday by airing the kiss between actresses Caitlin Kinnunen and Isabelle McCalla during a rendition of musical “The Prom.”

The group also accused the network and department store of trying to “push their agenda on little kids.”

In response, many tweeters noted that “love is love” and not “a political agenda.” “It was a family program. Not all families look the same. It’s good that all children see that,” wrote one. “Love is a family program,” added another.

Others claimed the innocence of American children had been more likely taken by the country’s gun violence epidemic and mass shootings:

You know what? Let’s throw that twee t up there for a minute.

Yeah well hey, if these children’s parents had Fox News on this weekend, they probably also saw their fellow children get tear gas lobbied at them by a government who’s declared them second class citizens simply because they’re not from around here! Which is more horrifying? Thank you audience! But the details are even more horrifying! Who is the group behind the outrage? Why it’s ForAmerica – a Christian conservative group dedicated to fighting those godless heathens on the left!

Amid the multitude of objectively offensive occurrences on the Thanksgiving holiday — for instance President Trump spent Thursday at Mar-a-Lago threatening to close the border between U.S. and Mexico, dismissing the CIA’s reports on the killing of journalist Jamal Khashoggi, and thanking… himself — one conservative organization was scandalized by that polarizing, controversial annual event: The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

ForAmerica is a conservative organization founded in 2010 that decries the rise of the “radical Left” and aims to use social media and pop culture to “capture the public’s imagination” and “educat[e] a new generation of conservatives.” Thursday morning, their account tweeted a still from the Macy’s Parade of two women kissing along with their horror at the sight:

Actresses Caitlin Kinnunen and Isabelle McCalla were performing a number from the musical The Prom when the kiss — destroyer of innocence, ender of childhoods — was aired on NBC.

It would appear that ForAmerica’s efforts to educate the masses via social media are, thus far, unsuccessful: They were swiftly ratio’d. Over 4,000 people responded to the post, mocking the group for their outrage over a very PG expression of same-sex love.

Yeah even if the plan is horrifying, like two actresses getting a PG kiss on the lips. And if you want to see the negative reviews for such an event, look no further than what the twitter reviews are saying. They hate us, they really hate us!

Not everyone was pleased, though:

“Why do these networks feel the need to make sure they show their support for the gay community,” one Twitter user asked. “Not something kids need to see.”
“You really think a dance routine ending with a lesbian kiss is appropriate FOR A THANKSGIVING PARADE?” another user asked. “Thanks for all the unexpected, uncomfortable, INAPPROPRIATE conversations that now have to take place w kids before anyone can eat.”
“NBC and Macy’s should be ashamed at this years broadcast,” another user said. “Stunning[.] Children and families were watching this. No business on TV.”
“Perhaps next yr, Macy’s [will] celebrate diversity by saluting gender fluid couples or polyamorous relationships,” another user observed.
“It is terribly sad,” another user said. “We can’t even turn on an iconic piece of Americana any more without having our children have this shoved down our throats.”
“My still fairly young children were all very excited to watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade,” anther user opined. “We turned it on and within a few seconds the camera focused in on a prominent lesbian kiss in one of the dance numbers. My daughter’s face fell.”

Oh boo fucking hoo! And hey, the 1950s called, they want their talking point back. You know what? Let’s show the clip!

Think of those poor people crossing the border who literally have nothing, and you’re outraged by that? Turn your damn TV off and get outside once in a while and go see how the real world works! And anyone else really surprised that they are calling for a boycott? If you’re keeping score at home, that’s #320 for Trump fans, and maybe one or two for us!

Linda Harvey, the anti-LGBTQ activist who leads the group Mission America, called for a boycott of Macy’s after it allowed a same-sex kiss in the Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Caitlin Kinnunen and Isabelle McCalla, lead actors in Broadway’ The Prom musical, made Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade history on Thursday by sharing its first same-sex kiss, broadcast to millions of viewers across the U.S..

Writes Harvey, writing on the right-wing rag Lifesite: ‘This agenda is like an airborne infection that’s suddenly everywhere. From “LGBT” affirming church youth groups, to “gay”-affirming anti-bullying school lessons, to rainbow “pride” apparel sold at Target and Walmart during the spring and summer, to the obligatory pro-homosexual article in the daily newspaper, to disturbed transvestites reading to preschoolers in libraries. It seems to be critically important to stick it to our children, all in the name of phony “tolerance” and “acceptance,” embracing sins leading to personal disaster, societal destruction and spiritual death’

She adds: ‘God never makes any human to engage in what He has called an “abomination,” and always shows a way out for those who seek His loving, merciful transformation from lives of sin to lives of sanity and virtue. His design for human sexuality and marriage is beautiful and should be celebrated as a tremendous blessing on Thanksgiving. But instead, even this traditional icon of Americana, the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade, is being co-opted by whitewashed depravity….I am grieved for America and all the lost people, especially the young. I mourn the simple sweetness of mom/dad families and uncomplicated friendships, of holidays that cultivated wholesome childhood unmarred by the shadow of hateful, sexual fascism. Despite the victory that is in Jesus Christ and our ultimate destiny, before that glorious appearing, the night is coming.’

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[font size="8"]NO!!!!!
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Let’s spin the wheel shall we? Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! Chance!

Hey all right, my luck is starting to turn! Spin it again! And it lands on “NO!!!!”. That’s right – it’s time for our new segment:

That’s right – NO! Just… fucking no! So America, don’t be fucking Nazis! And don’t be fucking Nazis, either! In an era that we live in where hate crimes, white supremacy, and dare I say it – neo Nazism are on the rise not only in America, but around the globe, is this incident something that we really need right now? I’m of course referring to that disgusting story out of Babaroo, Wisconsin where the senior class, in what’s being called a “yearbook prank”, threw up a good old fashioned Nazi salute. Yeah some casual in your face racism, that's real fucking funny guys! So in short – NO!!!!!, or should I say NEIN!!!!!

A large group of boys at a rural Wisconsin high school prom was photographed displaying what appears to be the Nazi salute, prompting international outrage and a local investigation.

In the photo, more than 50 boys from Baraboo, Wis., pose on outdoor steps. The vast majority are shown hoisting their right arms stiff and straight into the air, fingers pointed out, as Nazis did in Adolf Hitler’s Germany. One boy in the front row has his arms down but his right hand is forming the okay sign, a symbol adopted by the white power movement.

The photo was posted Sunday on Twitter by an account called @GoBaraboo, with the caption, “We even got the black kid to throw it up #BarabooProud.” That account has since been made private.

Lori M. Mueller, the Baraboo School District superintendent, wrote to parents Monday, saying the photo was taken last spring. She said it was not taken on school property or at a school-sponsored event, but others in the community said the photos were associated with the school’s junior prom.

Yes, NO!!!! I mean don’t be fucking Nazis. Nazism isn’t funny, it never was, nor will it ever be. And can we assume that these dudes will vote for Trump at some point? I mean we already know where they stand on the issues. Now here’s where it gets weird, and why wouldn’t it?

More than 6,000 people have signed an online petition calling on a Wisconsin school system to suspend students who appear to be giving a Nazi salute in a group photograph shot before their spring prom in May.

Administrator Lori Mueller of the Baraboo School District has said she is investigating the photo and will take appropriate action, but repeated efforts to speak with her a day after the photo was publicized Monday were not successful.

Regardless of any discipline from Baraboo High School, about 100 miles northwest of Milwaukee, the image could have far-reaching consequences for the young men pictured there, according to a university administrator.

"This could very well have an impact on their ability to get into college," said Stefanie Niles, vice president for enrollment and communications at Ohio Wesleyan University and president of the National Association for College Admission Counseling.

Yeah no shit! I know I wouldn’t want a fucking Nazi sitting next to me while I’m taking multi variable calculus! So really, don’t be Nazis, I cannot stress that enough. I mean if you want to see a real Nazi at work, just check out what Tomi Lahren said over the weekend:

Conservative pundit Tomi Lahren said Monday that the use of tear gas on immigrants who rushed the southern border was the “highlight” of her Thanksgiving holiday as the country “finally” defended its border.

Lahren made her comment on Twitter in a quote-tweet responding to actress Alyssa Milano’s expletive-laden message to President Donald Trump after he said Mexico would be “smart” to hinder migrant caravans before they amassed at the countries' shared border.

“Bum-rushing the border is a CHOICE and has consequences. Watching the USA FINALLY defend our borders was the HIGHLIGHT of my Thanksgiving weekend,” Lahren tweeted in response to Milano.

Lahren, a major proponent of Trump and his strict immigration policies, was praising the work of U.S. border agents on Sunday when they fired tear gas at migrants protesting at the border in Tijuana. Some of the protestors also reportedly tried to enter the country illegally, sparking the use of the tear gas, according to the Associated Press. Mexico’s Interior Ministry said roughly 500 of the migrants attempted to “violently” cross the border.

Yeah that’s going full Nazi! I mean if the highlight of your Thanksgiving is that you got to see innocent mothers and children being gassed for wanting to live, you’re a psychopath! These are human beings escaping persecution and murderous regimes we’re talking about here, and you’re making them out to be dangerous criminals. That’s going full Hitler. But what you might not be aware of is that free speech does protect these guys. And no woman would do something that stupid, unless said woman happens to be Tomi Lahren.

The Wisconsin students who appeared to make a Nazi salute in a widely criticized photo will not be punished, the school’s superintendent said this week in a letter to parents.

The superintendent, Lori Mueller of the Baraboo School District, said in the letter that the district was “not in a position to punish the students for their actions” because of their First Amendment rights.

“As previously stated, we cannot know the intentions in the hearts of those who were involved,” Ms. Mueller wrote in the letter, which was obtained by The Baraboo News Republic.

The district investigated the episode for about 10 days with help from the police.

And by the way in case you’re wondering what the school’s official stance on this is, they plan to increase education and awareness about what Hitler did in order to prevent future incidents like this. Hey! You’re a school! You should have been educating kids about Hitler in the first place! Maybe sit all the kids in that class except for that one dude who thought that maybe this wasn’t a good idea!

A Wisconsin school district plans to host a community program after a photograph surfaced of high school boys giving what appears to be a Nazi salute.

Baraboo Superintendent Lori Mueller said in a letter to parents Wednesday that the district is in the planning stages with civic, community and faith leaders to host the program. Mueller says details will be "shared as soon as possible."

Mueller says, "We are so sorry that the actions of some of our students so understandably and deeply hurt people around the world."

The photo of about 60 boys was taken outside the Sauk County Courthouse in Baraboo last spring. About two-thirds of the boys have their right arms raised in what appears to be a Nazi salute.

The parent who took the photo says he was simply asking the teens to wave goodbye to their parents before they headed to prom.

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Let’s spin it to win it! And it lands on… no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop!!!! Oh hey it’s a clip without context!

I think even somewhere Jesus is going “You’re doing this wrong”, Lance! Spin it again! Oh hey it’s time for People Are Dumb!

Oh man there was a lot of dumb over the holiday weekend. And there was a lot of dumb particularly in our favorite state. Yes, you know that state – the state that elected Ron DeSantis governor. So I want to start with this story out of Polk County, Florida. Here’s…. here’s my whole thing. If you are buying meth, and why wouldn’t you? It is Florida. And you want to know if your meth is legitimate or not, maybe don’t ask your doctor about quality control.

A Polk County woman was arrested earlier this month after she reportedly brought "her meth" with her to a doctor's office to have it tested.

Barbara Ray, 73, of Polk County, told the staff at the doctor's office that she had been taking meth for about a month, according to the Polk County Sheriff's Office. She said she brought the drugs with her so that she and "her meth" could be tested to make sure all was well.

The Sheriff's Office was called and a deputy responded to the office. The deputy tested the drugs and found it was in fact methamphetamine.

Ray was arrested on November 5. She was charged with 2 counts of Possession of Methamphetamine, and 2 counts of Possession of Narcotic Paraphernalia. She was booked into the Polk County Jail on Monday, November 5, 2018 and released on Wednesday, November 7, 2018.

Next up I want to bring you this cringe worthy story out of Heilongjiang, China. OK, if you want to… yeah cue the parental discretion warning, thank you sound effects guy! So here’s the thing – you’re not Johnny Mnemonic. You don’t have a USB port anywhere on you. And you especially don’t have one in your male organ area. Just… aah!!!!!!!!

For reasons yet unknown, a Chinese boy stuck a USB cable up his penis, which wound itself into a knot (the cord, not the penis), and required surgery to remove.

The 13-year-old from China’s Heilongjiang province was taken to a hospital last month, according to Singapore’s Strait Times, presumably because he couldn’t pull the cable out. How? Why? I have questions!

Apparently, the teenager cut off one side of the USB connecter before inserting it into his urethra, thank god. It measured 10 centimeters-long, and had reached his bladder, causing blood to appear in his urine, doctors said.

The Times reports that he did it all “out of curiosity.”

“From the X-ray, we can see a dead knot hence he could not pull it out himself,” Dr. Xu Liyan told local Heilongjiang Metropolis Channel.

OK now that we got that out of the way, while we’re on the other side of the world, apparently Russia’s Troll Army has been listening to too many American conspiracy theories lately, and they’re going back to investigate whether or not the moon landing was real. Yes, 1982 called, they want their conspiracy theory back!

The head of Russia’s national space agency has proposed a mission to the moon to verify whether the American moon landings really took place.

Dmitry Rogozin responded to a question about whether Nasa’s Apollo programme actually put men on the moon back in the 1960s and 1970s during a conversation with the president of Moldova, Igor Dodon.

He appeared to be joking, as he smirked and shrugged while answering. But conspiracies surrounding Nasa’s moon missions are common in Russia.

In a video of their interaction, posted to his 815,000 Twitter followers, Mr Rogozin says: “We have set this objective to fly and verify whether they’ve been there or not”.


Thankfully it wasn’t like that! Finally this week for People Are Dumb, we go to this story out of Germany. Hey look, everyone knows how awesome it is to finally land your drivers license. But that feeling can literally disappear in an instant as this kid proved in the Märkischer Kreis region of Germany.

A German teenager’s first joyride was fast and furious — until police pulled him over and took away his license.

The 18-year-old driver lost his license after 49 minutes.

“Some things hold for eternity ... some not even an hour,” German police said in statement on Tuesday.

Police clocked him at 95 km/h (59 mph) in a 50 km/h (31 mph) zone, in the Märkischer Kreis region of central north Germany.

The teen, who had been driving with four friends, was seemingly celebrating his successful driving test.

Yes, shit just got real all right! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Deep State Diaries Episode 21: The United States Census Bureau
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Let’s spin the wheel one final time this week. And it lands on… t-shirt cannon! Everyone will be getting our new Top 10 Dems Take The House shirt! Yeah look at that! Spin it again! Oh hey it’s time for Deep State Diaries! Hit it!

It’s time for episode 21 of Deep State Diaries. Yes we’re touring the many, many branches and services that make up the United States government. Everything from the FBI to the IRS to the Pentagon to the CIA to the DPW to the DVA to parks and recreation and all branches and services in between. Of course if you’re here you probably already know more about our government and how it works than your average Fox News loving Trump supporter does. So that’s what this segment is going to address. We are going to do a deep dive into all that makes the United States the United States. Because we here at the Top 10 love to educate as well as entertain. Because we care.

[font size="6"]The US Census Bureau[/font]

So every 10 years the United States takes part in what’s called a census. That census answers a lot of questions about the population of the United States. And the agency that monitors this census is called the United States Census Bureau. And they’ve been in the news a lot lately because we’re two years out from the 2020 census and that is going to be very interesting to see what the end results of this questionnaire are. So why have they been in the news lately?

The number of immigrants in the U.S. without legal status has declined to its lowest level in more than a decade, according to a new report released Tuesday.

The nonpartisan Pew Research Center said 10.7 million immigrants lacked legal status in 2016, down from 11 million a year earlier and from a peak of 12.2 million in 2007 before the U.S. economy slumped.

It is the lowest number since 2004, the report said.

The decline stems largely from a drop in the number of Mexican immigrants living in the U.S. illegally to 5.5 million in 2016 from nearly 7 million in 2007. Some returned to their country to reunite with family, while others were deported.

Yeah sure, facts don’t matter to him! I mean who are we kidding? So why the need for something like this to come along every 10 years? Well there’s a huge story on it that is making everyone really questioning our choices so far as a country.

Lawyers for the U.S. government on Tuesday wrapped up their defense of Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross’ decision to add a citizenship question to the 2020 Census, saying he has broad latitude to run the decennial survey.

The judge hearing the case in federal court in New York promised a quick ruling.

Eighteen U.S. states, 15 cities and a slew of civil rights groups sued the administration over the plan, arguing it was intended to frighten immigrants into abstaining from the count, costing immigrant communities political representation and billions in federal aid.

Ross, a Republican, has said that citizenship data from the next census is needed to enforce federal laws against voter discrimination.

No, no, no we don’t. Calm down there, chief. Did you see the previous article? Yeah so there’s been a huge decline in Mexican immigration and why should they come here if the message they’re getting told is “get the fuck out”?

Local governments are collaborating to support an accurate count in the 2020 census, partly based on a concern that the federal government will not provide enough resources to complete the task correctly.

Avoiding an undercount is paramount for myriad reasons, according to Phillip Supino, a long-range planner with the city of Aspen’s Community Development Department who has been leading the initiative.

The decennial census is “the fundamental federal exercise,” he said, with hundreds of billions of dollars allocated each year for infrastructure and essential services based on the demographic data it produces. The reapportionment of congressional and statehouse seats, which also happens every 10 years, is based on the census, meaning that a democracy that is truly representative of the population it serves is on the line.

Yeah probably. I mean accurate, schmacurate. What’s to stop this administration from fucking with the numbers and saying that everyone is white and religious? Oh wait, let’s not give them any ideas! But where else are you going to learn crazy stats about Americans like this?

Utahns are a mobile bunch. One of every six changed residences in 2017, according to new U.S. Census Bureau estimates released Tuesday.

That is higher than the national average — 16.3 percent to 13.7 — and ranks No. 10 among the states. One of the reasons for that is religious: the high number of Utahns who move to serve missions for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

“That is a cultural imperative that is not present in other places” and helps make Utahns among the nation’s most frequent movers, said Pam Perlich, director of demographic research at the University of Utah’s Kem C. Gardner Policy Institute.

Ah, I love “The Book Of Mormon”. Or what about this?

Dating back 2,000 years to the Celtic festival of Samhain, Halloween is an ancient tradition associated with images of witches, ghosts and vampires. Today, Halloween has evolved into a celebration characterized by child-friendly activities like trick-or-treating, carving pumpkins into jack-o’-lanterns, and dressing in costumes.

The following facts from the U.S. Census Bureau are made possible by the invaluable responses to the U.S. Census Bureau’s surveys, according to a Census Bureau news release.

"We appreciate the public’s cooperation as we continuously measure America’s people, places and economy," the release stated.

But nah, in this increasingly white supremacist climate, this is the most alarming news of all! The horror, the horror I tell you!

The graphic was splashy by the Census Bureau’s standards and it showed an unmistakable moment in America’s future: the year 2044, when white Americans were projected to fall below half the population and lose their majority status.

The presentation of the data disturbed Kenneth Prewitt, a former Census Bureau director, who saw it while looking through a government report. The graphic made demographic change look like a zero-sum game that white Americans were losing, he thought, and could provoke a political backlash.

So after the report’s release three years ago, he organized a meeting with Katherine Wallman, at the time the chief statistician for the United States.

[font size="6"]Score Card [/font]

Overall importance: A
How Things Are Going: B
Likely hood To Survive: B+

Overall: B

[font size="6"]Next Week [/font]

Next week we’re heading to Langley, Virginia to hang with the Central Intelligence Agency! I would tell you more, but I might have to kill you.

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Mike Shinoda[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is one of the heads of the band known as Linkin Park, his debut album is called “Post Traumatic” and you can see him at the KROQ Christmas Show December 8th at the Forum. Playing his song called “Running From My Shadow”, give it up for Mike Shinoda!

Thank you Phoenix! We had a great time here, we are back home next week for our third anniversary special edition! See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Tempe Improv, Tempe, AZ
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Reply Top 10 Conservative Idiots #5-21: Wheel Of Corruption & The Half Blood Prince Pt. 2 Edition (Original post)
Top 10 Idiots Nov 2018 OP
Scurrilous Nov 2018 #1
underpants Nov 2018 #2
underpants Nov 2018 #3

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Wed Nov 28, 2018, 07:27 PM

1. K&R

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Wed Nov 28, 2018, 07:29 PM

2. 😳

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Response to underpants (Reply #2)

Wed Nov 28, 2018, 08:40 PM

3. My research shows me that this is Chris Hamrick

NOT one of the Mulkey Brothers

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