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Tue Nov 20, 2018, 08:37 AM

I thought it was me: All Hallmark Christmas Movies are Horror Films in Disguise

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My daughters like to watch these movies, and as I would sit in on a few, I came to the conclusion that these are all nasty towns, with many nasty people in them who pretend to be good people.


Here is just a snippet of the article, after which cites three shows as example:

Over the last few years, Hallmark Christmas movies thinly scripted rom coms based around a truth, universally acknowledged in late November through December, that a single woman committed to her career must be in want of a husband, preferably a hometown widower raising a child already out of diapers have shifted from cheap purgatory for formerly bankable prime time stars to quasi-ironic centerpieces of the winter comfort-TV binge-scape.
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Overwhelmingly white and Christian, these movies dramatize the attainment, after the requisite miscommunications and crises of faith, of a specific American suburban fantasy that seamlessly blends the following ingredients: a nonthreatening career that never demands evening and weekend work or relocation; a heterosexual marriage to a handsome employed man who values family, with at least one child guaranteed; and a palatial suburban home located within walking distance of one or both sets of parents, surrogate or real.

And yet a recent episode of the podcast "A Very Hallmark Christmas," hosted by Loree Stark and Medium columnist and former i09 editor Rob Bricken, breaks down the many ways in which the Hallmark film "A Veteran's Christmas" veers into barely concealed horror territory. Consume enough of Hallmark's addictive confections and you start to see the horror isn't a one-off, rather it's baked into the entire enterprise: these films are a smorgasbord of gaslighting, emotional abuse, and passive-aggressive forcible confinement, with entire communities conspiring to sabotage competent women into accepting less ambitious, more domesticized roles in which their considerable gifts are only allowed to be used in service of hot widowers and their small towns, to which they will be permanently bound going forward. If the heroine resists, the narrative suggests, she might find herself joining the parade of dead girls who came before her.

As Hallmark's Countdown to Christmas grows more manic and self-aware every year, it's only a matter of time before the network realizes, due to our collective hunger for psychological horror and crime stories, that the terror lurking beneath their cookie-flavored romances is a feature, not a bug. After all, the ingredients are already there. Here are some stock Hallmark Christmas movie scenarios that show how easy an ominous music cue here, a lingering reaction shot of confusion there the transition will be.




https://www.salon.com/2018/11/19/all-hallmark-christmas-movies-are-horror-films-in-disguise/

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Reply I thought it was me: All Hallmark Christmas Movies are Horror Films in Disguise (Original post)
TheBlackAdder Nov 20 OP
scarletlib Nov 20 #1
mitch96 Nov 20 #8
samnsara Nov 20 #2
scarletlib Nov 20 #3
Pacifist Patriot Nov 20 #7
Dem_4_Life Nov 20 #4
CatMor Nov 20 #5
Brainstormy Nov 20 #6
ismnotwasm Nov 20 #9
get the red out Nov 20 #10
dem4decades Nov 20 #11
JDC Nov 20 #12
dembotoz Nov 20 #13
Blue Owl Nov 20 #14
Wounded Bear Nov 20 #15
riverbendviewgal Nov 20 #16
Cal Tek Nov 20 #17
GreatCaesarsGhost Nov 20 #18
Pluvious Nov 20 #19

Response to TheBlackAdder (Original post)

Tue Nov 20, 2018, 08:41 AM

1. Not just you.

The total lack of diversity in these movies has bothered me for years. Lately they have thrown in a few non-white characters for background coverage or otherwise minor roles.

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Response to scarletlib (Reply #1)

Tue Nov 20, 2018, 09:25 AM

8. "thrown in a few non-white characters for background coverage"

I noticed that.. Very light skinned people..
m

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Response to TheBlackAdder (Original post)

Tue Nov 20, 2018, 08:44 AM

2. hallmark...lifetime...they are all the same story line...hubby was watching...

...one (out of sheer boredom or accidentally I think) and he said something about the movie.. I said 'is the one about the woman in a small town having an insurmountable problem and the guy she hates comes to her rescue (and saves her book store, toy store, or ranch) and they fall in love?' he said 'Yes! have you seen it?'

I said 'No'

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Response to samnsara (Reply #2)

Tue Nov 20, 2018, 08:45 AM

3. Very funny but oh so true!

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Response to samnsara (Reply #2)

Tue Nov 20, 2018, 09:25 AM

7. Ha ha! So true.

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Response to TheBlackAdder (Original post)

Tue Nov 20, 2018, 08:49 AM

4. I used to be obsessed with these movies and now I can hardly sit through them.

They are all the same. I prefer to watch the old classics or Christmas comedies.

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Response to TheBlackAdder (Original post)

Tue Nov 20, 2018, 09:08 AM

5. No matter what her job is ....

the woman always lives in a new big house nicely furnished has a great wardrobe and is located in a charming town with never a Wal-Mart in sight.

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Response to TheBlackAdder (Original post)

Tue Nov 20, 2018, 09:11 AM

6. they always trigger my gag reflex

but for some reason, my husband likes them. Go figure.

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Response to TheBlackAdder (Original post)

Tue Nov 20, 2018, 09:37 AM

9. Don't watch them

The cringe factor is far too high

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Response to TheBlackAdder (Original post)

Tue Nov 20, 2018, 09:42 AM

10. I have always hated them

My husband likes them, bless his heart. I have never been able to stomach them.

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Response to TheBlackAdder (Original post)

Tue Nov 20, 2018, 09:44 AM

11. That was laugh out loud funny.

Hallmark Christmas is so ridiculous it's almost camp.

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Response to TheBlackAdder (Original post)

Tue Nov 20, 2018, 09:45 AM

12. My 12 yo daughter likes them. Even she mocks them though

She had one on this week and it was actually full of diversity. I was shocked.

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Response to TheBlackAdder (Original post)

Tue Nov 20, 2018, 09:47 AM

13. my cousin loves that channel

i have watched a few....sometimes you just want a happy ending

think of them as perhaps romance novels for those who do not like to read...tho i have never read a romance novel

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Response to TheBlackAdder (Original post)

Tue Nov 20, 2018, 10:56 AM

14. The horror... the horror...

n/t

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Response to TheBlackAdder (Original post)

Tue Nov 20, 2018, 11:07 AM

15. They are flooding the airwaves already...

click through the channels and I see dozens of Christmas movies listed.

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Response to TheBlackAdder (Original post)

Tue Nov 20, 2018, 11:41 AM

16. I consider them to be like

Elevator music or Harliquin books. Feel good with Christmas decorations. I watch them sometimes to pass the time if nothing else is on appeals to me. I rarely watch the movie from beginning to end.

I agree there is a big lack of diversity.

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Response to TheBlackAdder (Original post)

Tue Nov 20, 2018, 12:03 PM

17. They all remind me of David Lynch's "Blue Velvet"

 

The all-American small town where ruddy-cheeked Caucasians frolic as pure white snow decorates their righteous lives.

Except........

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Response to TheBlackAdder (Original post)

Tue Nov 20, 2018, 12:12 PM

18. IIRC Hallmark had a month of xmas movies in July

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Response to TheBlackAdder (Original post)

Tue Nov 20, 2018, 12:13 PM

19. We tried out the 2004 Jamie Lee Curtis / Tim Allen "Xmas with the Kranks" film...

"Skipping Christmas" was the teaser that reeled us in.

As that is exactly what we ourselves do every year

The movie seemed such a refreshing break, at first.

We cheered on the couple with their inspired boycott
of all things Xmas. The (small) town fought back
hard and dirty, we rooted for them to stick to their
brave and noble plan, looking forward to their
tropical cruise getaway from the cold, fake-merriment
of garish Xmas decor laden rows of houses and
the forced fake cheer of the spiteful children
and grim faced adults intent on imposing their
determined will upon the hapless (recently empty
nested) couple.

Then, appeared The Horror, in the form of a simple phone call.

We suddenly realized we'd been had, suckered into
a viewing of something we could not possibly endure
watching any further: A feel good morality lesson on
the true meaning of...

Sorry, I'm gagging. Can't say it.

Besides, Allen's acting chemistry was painfully absent
juxtaposed against the always brilliant ms Curtis' skills.

So...

We switched over to "Kim's Convenience," an
awesome Netflix show. And enjoyed the salvaged evening.

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