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Wed Sep 19, 2018, 05:00 PM

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #5-12: Rave Un 2 The Debt Fantastic Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #5-12: Rave Un 2 The Debt Fantastic Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! What’s up Oxnard??? So our tour around the country for the first half of season 5 is complete! We go back home next week for two weeks at our home at the UCB Theater in Hollywood, then we get to head back out on the road! We’re heading to Lexington, Nashville, Boston, Philly, Pittsburgh, and Denver among other places! So Mark Wahlberg’s daily routine is the stuff of insanity. So while you’re sleeping off an all night whisky and cheeseburger bender, Marky Mark hits the gym at 2:30 AM for an hour and a half workout sess. Then he has a half hour of prayer time, because, why not? So in the interest of time let’s skip ahead a bit. Here’s my favorite is that there’s a half an hour for “cryo chamber recovery”. He’s literally Mr. Freeze! And then some of the other things on his daily agenda include things like 2 hours a day from 11:00 – 1:00 for “family time and work calls” but what if his work calls take up all 2 hours? Or he has to sit through his kids’ elementary school recitals and I know those can take forever. But at 3:30 while you’re sitting away at your desk typing your response to your 500th e-mail about why you can’t attend the workplace training seminar, and reminder that Janice in HR don’t give a fuck, Marky Mark is already on his 3rd workout and 8th snack. Whew, I’m exhausted just telling you about this thing. Oh and then he’s in bed lights out at 7:30. Dude, whatever happened to downtime? Can we get that back? I miss those times! OK enough of the intro we got a lot of idiocy to get to but first Jim Jefferies is back and he is pointing out that your boycott is bullshit - Nike's Kaepernick ad isn't about taking a stand, it's about hawking products and making money:

Number one this week is potential SCOTUS justice Brett Kavanaugh. Yes, he is an absolute slimebag and we are going to tell you all about his dirty deeds, and no they’re not done dirt cheap. At number 2 this week is also Brett Kavanaugh and we have to talk about his sexual assault accusations, among other things. At number 3 is of course our Dear Leader Donald J. Trump (3) and we’re going to preview his emergency broadcasting system – which will take over your phones this week! At number 4 this week – is also Donald Trump. So… Stormy Daniels’ latest allegations, yeah, that definitely needs some further explanation. Taking the 5th slot this week is our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates and this week we’re going to investigate Trump’s claims about the Puerto Rican death toll – is it a hoax like Trump claims or is it legitimate? At number 6 is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” and this week our resident pastor has a beef with Pat Robertson and we are going to challenge his claims that you can simply pray away the hurricane. Taking the 7th slot – we’ve been getting a lot of requests for this one but we’re finally going to add California (and the OC) representative Dana Rohrabacher to the ever-growing list of People Who Somehow Got Elected. At number 8 we’ve got a new installment of “How Is This Still A Thing?” and this week, after the latest shocking allegations, we’re going to ask – “Woody Allen’s Career – How Is This Still A Thing?”. Yeah he’s a creep! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week it’s the return of one of my favorite segments in “I Need A Drink”, and this week, we’re going to tell you about the curse of our good friend Post Malone, you know he’s had a string of bad luck lately but there might be a reason why! Finally this week we’ve got a new edition of Deep State Diaries! This week we’re headed into the Pentagon to check out the first of 5 military branches as we explore what the US Navy has been up to recently. Plus we’ve got some live music for you from one of my favorite musical acts, Gorillaz featuring the legend himself, Snoop Dogg! Really, if you don’t have their new album “The Now Now” by now, get out of my audience and go buy it. And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Brett Kavanaugh
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Ever hear the term “kakistocracy”? It’s a term for an insane system of government that is run by the worst, least qualified people out there. Hey let’s make an unqualfied, uber religious billionaire head of the Department Of Education. Let’s make a child rapist the new senator from Alabama. And remember that guy from the TV show where he wanted to fire everybody? Let’s make him the president of the United States! Well the kakistocracy might be expanded because Trump nominated a dangerous, Clinton hating lunatic to the Supreme Court!

President Donald Trump said Tuesday that Brett Kavanaugh "is not a man that deserves" to be facing a sexual assault allegation at this point in his confirmation process, saying that he feels "so badly" for his Supreme Court nominee.

"I feel so badly for him that he's going through this, to be honest with you," Trump said during a press conference with Polish President Andrzej Duda. "I feel so badly for him. This is not a man that deserves this."

Christine Blasey Ford has accused Kavanaugh of assaulting her when they were both in high school. The judge has denied the allegation.

Read more: https://www.politico.com/story/2018/09/18/trump-kavanaugh-is-not-a-man-that-deserves-this-828004

Actually you know what? This needs the crying baby!


So what did Brett Kavanaugh do to deserve this kind of shabby treatment? Well, he’s a pig, a crook, and a liar. And that’s just for starters. You what, know for the record let’s call this piece “Brett Kavanaugh’s debt”. Ah, fuck it, it needs some sprucing up. Let’s give it a Prince reference and call it “Rave Un 2 The Debt Fantastic” because that will make it less fucking insane. And I’ve been listening to that album a lot lately. So what is in this new allegation?

Supreme Court nominee Brett M. Kavanaugh incurred tens of thousands of dollars of credit card debt buying baseball tickets over the past decade and at times reported liabilities that could have exceeded the value of his cash accounts and investment assets, according to a review of Kavanaugh’s financial disclosures and information provided by the White House.

White House spokesman Raj Shah told The Washington Post that Kavanaugh built up the debt by buying Washington Nationals season tickets and tickets for playoff games for himself and a “handful” of friends. Shah said some of the debts were also for home improvements.

In 2016, Kavanaugh reported having between $60,000 and $200,000 in debt accrued over three credit cards and a loan. Each credit card held between $15,000 and $50,000 in debt, and a Thrift Savings Plan loan was between $15,000 and $50,000.

The credit card debts and loan were either paid off or fell below the reporting requirements in 2017, according to the filings, which do not require details on the nature or source of such payments. Shah told The Post that Kavanaugh’s friends reimbursed him for their share of the baseball tickets and that the judge has since stopped purchasing the season tickets.

So not only did he accrue a ton of debt, the question on the table is who paid it off for him? I mean if you know any accountants ask them how easy it is to make $200K in debt simply disappear. There’s no way you or I could do that. So why could he?

Before President Donald Trump nominated Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court, he had a lot of debt. In May 2017, he reported owing between $60,004 and $200,000 on three credit cards and a loan against his retirement account. By the time Trump nominated him to the high court in July 2018, those debts had vanished. Overall, his reported income and assets didn’t seem sufficient to pay off all that debt while maintaining his upper-class lifestyle: an expensive house in an exclusive suburban neighborhood, two kids in a $10,500-a-year private school, and a membership in a posh country club reported to charge $92,000 in initiation fees. His financial disclosure forms have raised more questions than they’ve answered, leading to speculation about whether he’s had a private benefactor and what sorts of conflicts that relationship might entail.

No other recent Supreme Court nominee has come before the Senate with so many unanswered questions regarding finances. That’s partly because many of Kavanaugh’s predecessors were a lot richer than he is. Chief Justice John Roberts, for instance, had been making $1 million a year in private practice before joining the DC Circuit as a judge. The poorer nominees had debts, but explainable ones, such as the $15,000 Sonia Sotomayor owed to her dentist. Neil Gorsuch came the closest to financial scandal when he disclosed that he owned a mountain fishing lodge in Colorado with two men who are top deputies to the billionaire Philip F. Anschutz, who had championed Gorsuch’s nomination.

But now the mystery is delving further into insanity. So Kavanaugh had racked up an insane amount of debt spent on nothing more than to feed his baseball addiction. And the question remains did he have a subscription to Draft Kings or not?

Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse (D-R.I.) wants to know if Judge Brett Kavanaugh, President Donald Trump’s nominee to the Supreme Court, has a gambling problem.

“Have you ever sought treatment for a gambling addiction?” Whitehouse asks pointedly as part of a series of questions submitted this week about Kavanaugh’s unexplained personal debts.

In 2016, Kavanaugh reported credit card and personal loan debts of between $60,000 and $200,000. The Trump White House said these debts were the result of Kavanaugh buying baseball tickets for friends who later paid him back, as well as some spending on home improvements. The 2016 debts did not appear on Kavanaugh’s 2017 disclosure form because they were either entirely paid off or fell below the reporting threshold. Kavanaugh also reported between $60,000 and $200,000 in debt in 2006.

The fact that Kavanaugh accrued such high debts through baseball tickets attracted notice, but surprisingly, not a single senator asked him about the issue during his televised judiciary committee hearings last week.

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[font size="8"]Brett Kavanaugh
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Why is such a shady character like Kavanaugh being brought to eventually judge the highest law in the land? Well we have an equally shady character sitting pretty in the Oval Office right now. And these types definitely think alike. Remember during the campaign when all the sexual assault victims came forward against Trump? Well, think of this as same shit, different year! Because, well, assuming he gets chosen, Clarence Thomas is about to have some company on SCOTUS.

The woman who has accused Brett M. Kavanaugh of sexual assault decades ago wants the FBI to investigate her allegation before she testifies before the Senate Judiciary Committee — a demand that came as President Trump and Senate Republicans increasingly rallied to the defense of the embattled Supreme Court nominee.

“A full investigation by law enforcement officials will ensure that the crucial facts and witnesses in this matter are assessed in a non-partisan manner, and that the committee is fully informed before conducting any hearing or making any decisions,” lawyers for the woman, Christine Blasey Ford, said in a letter to the panel late Tuesday.

The committee had invited Kavanaugh and Ford to testify at a public hearing Monday, but Ford’s response raises questions about whether the GOP will proceed with the session and ultimately the vote on Kavanaugh, who was nominated in July to replace the retired Justice Anthony M. Kennedy. The two-page letter does not explicitly say she will not attend if there is no FBI probe.

Many Republican officials maintained Tuesday that such a hearing would be Kavanaugh’s best chance at preserving his nomination to the high court, since it would give the judge — who seems determined to fight the allegation — an opportunity to respond to the claims. But Democrats, like Ford, argued that the scheduled Monday session should be delayed until the FBI further investigates her allegation.

Yes holy shit indeed! See Republicans and Trump fans, we have this thing called the Constitution, and it clearly lists the qualifications for sitting on the Supreme Court. See, if you’re convicted of a crime or had any grievances listed against you, you can’t judge the highest law in the land! Oh and it gets worse, so so much worse! Remember Anita Hill from back when Clarence Thomas was confirmed? Even she’s saying the investigation is a good idea!

Anita Hill, who accused Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas of sexual misconduct prior to his confirmation to the bench, is pushing for an official investigation into the claims made against President Donald Trump’s SCOTUS nominee Brett Kavanaugh.

“Absolutely, [an FBI investigation is] the right move. The hearing questions need to have a frame, and the investigation is the best frame for that; a neutral investigation that can pull together the facts, create a record, so that the senators can draw on the information they receive to develop their question,” Hill said to George Stephanopoulos while on ABC today. “Also helpful would be bringing in expert testimony or experts who can help them shape the questions that they’re going to ask.” She added that these measures — including the FBI investigation, which Kavanaugh accuser Christine Blasey Ford is calling for — can’t be avoided if lawmakers really want to find the truth.

Hill also expressed concern about Ford testifying before Congress on Monday, as it could be “a sham proceeding so that the senators can say we gave her a chance to talk and then move on to doing exactly what they were intending to do before she came forward.”

“My advice [for the Senate] is to push the pause button on this hearing, get the information together, bring in the experts and put together a hearing that is fair, that is impartial, that is not biased by politics or by myth and bring this information to the American public,” Hill added.

Read more: https://www.mediaite.com/tv/anita-hill-calls-for-fbi-to-investigate-new-kavanaugh-allegations-its-the-right-move/

So of course Donald J. Trump is in full denial mode. Of course you know republican pussy grabbers like Trump always back their own, and they are in a constant state of denial. Of course one day they’ll have to answer for their crimes but still… until that happens there’s this.

President Trump praised Brett M. Kavanaugh, his Supreme Court nominee, while leaving the White House en route to the Carolinas, but said Christine Blasey Ford deserves to be heard about her claim that she was sexually assaulted while both were teenagers.

“If she shows up and makes a credible showing, that will be very interesting and we’ll have to make a decision,” Trump said.

Read more: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/politics/wp/2018/09/19/trump-says-it-is-very-hard-for-me-to-imagine-anything-happened-between-kavanaugh-and-his-sexual-assault-accuser/

Of course they’ll make a decision! The right wing wants absolute power and they’ll support any worthless asshole who will give it to them! Thank you Oxnard! But even Kavanaugh himself is in full denial mode right now. Completely false! Rigged witch hunt! Sad!

Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh on Monday said an allegation he sexually assaulted a woman when they were in high school is "completely false" and said he'd be willing to testify on the accusation to the Senate Judiciary Committee.

"This is a completely false allegation. I have never done anything like what the accuser describes — to her or to anyone," Kavanaugh said in a statement.

Kavanaugh further said that "because this never happened" he had no idea who the accuser was until she identified herself over the weekend.

"I am willing to talk to the Senate Judiciary Committee in any way the Committee deems appropriate to refute this false allegation from 36 years ago, and defend my integrity," Kavanaugh added.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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This week we’re going to see something unprecedented. Remember that movie the Dark Knight where Bruce Wayne took over all the cell phones of Gotham and unleashed this massive surveillance ring in an effort to find the Joker? Well, it’s kind of like that except that only it’s going to be a message piece for the Trump White House. Trump will be able to use America’s cell phone towers to broadcast a text message alert. Which we can only suspect will be something along the lines of “rigged witch hunt from the 17 angry democrats! Sad!”. Well here’s more.

On the afternoon of Thursday, Sept. 20, FEMA will send two alerts to cell phones across the nation, both of them tests of its Integrated Public Alert and Warning System (IPAWS). At 2:18 p.m. ET, there will be a test of the Emergency Alert System (EAS) which will be followed at 2:20 p.m. ET by the first ever national test of the Wireless Emergency Alert (WEA) system.

The tests themselves aren't new but, until now the WEA has been focused regionally. The system launched in 2012 thanks to the Warning, Alert and Response Network (WARN) Act.

For instance, every time your iPhone blares a local Amber Alert, that's the WEA in action.

The FCC has a pretty helpful FAQ that explains, among other things, that, no, you can't be tracked via this system. Dozens of mobile carriers, including all of the major carriers, are part of the system meaning you'll likely receive the alert.

And the EAS itself has been tested nationally three previous times: twice under president Obama (Nov. 2011, Sept. 2016) and once under President Trump (Sept. 2017).

What's gotten people's attention is that these alerts allow direct communication between the president and the nation in case of an emergency, like a natural disaster or terrorist attack. So, yes, that means that President Trump will be able to send an emergency alert directly to your phone using a system you can not opt out of.

Oh come on, do you really want that guy sending you alerts that say “no collusion”? I know I don’t! But apparently they must be used for storm warnings. Or other emergency disasters, and I’m not talking about the disaster that we currently have serving in the White House. Thank you!

Contrary to public concern, the Federal Emergency Management Agency is not handing President Donald Trump a direct line to send personalized messages to American citizens.

He would be breaking the law if he did.

Last Friday, the Federal Communications Commission and FEMA announced plans to test a system that would allow the president to send a message to mobile devices across the U.S.

The announcement of the Wireless Emergency Alert (WEA) test caused some concerns that it could be used by Trump like he uses Twitter. But in 2015, Sen. Ron Johnson, R-Wis., introduced a bill to prevent any president from abusing the system.

"Except to the extent necessary for testing the public alert and warning system, the public alert and warning system shall not be used to transmit a message that does not relate to a natural disaster, act of terrorism, or other man-made disaster or threat to public safety, " states the Integrated Public Alert and Warning System Modernization Act of 2015.

Oh come on, when has something being illegal ever stopped this administration? I mean we’re talking about the guy who went into a women’s dressing room and watched underage girls changing clothes just because he could! So what is the real reason behind this? What are they going to actually use this system for? I mean even actual security experts are worried that Trump will abuse his power!

In theory, there is nothing objectionable about the White House's plan to send a message from President Trump to virtually every cell phone in the country. The message is a test of a warning system -- created under President Barack Obama in 2016 -- designed to alert the public about national emergencies.

There is no opting out. Most people with a cell phone — turned on and within range of a cell phone tower -- will receive a "presidential alert" text at 2:18 p.m. ET on October 3.
As broadcast TV and land-based phone lines become obsolete, our homeland security apparatus needs to keep up with current technology. This test should be seen as a positive step, bringing crisis communications into the wireless era.

But some are not seeing it that way -- and it's the Trump administration's fault. By continually and bitterly politicizing things that shouldn't be political, like natural disasters, journalism, the criminal-justice system, you name it -- Trump and his followers have fanned growing fears that everything they do is about partisan advantage. It's understandable that people believe this cell phone test is just another authoritarian attempt by Trump to bully his way into our daily lives.

Actually you’re probably not wrong about that one, sir. OK he can have his text messages, but for the love of god, keep him away from the Twitter direct messaging system!

“Executive time” was set to take on a whole new sinister dimension this week, as FEMA had announced a test of its wireless emergency alert (WEA) system allowing the president to send text messages about developing disasters directly to the American people — no opt-outs! — was to be scheduled this week. The system test has since been pushed back to October 3, either because the federal agency is dealing with the “ongoing response efforts to Hurricane Florence,” as it announced, or because there’s no disaster plan in place for the volcanoes of vomit the American people have threatened to unleash if Donald Trump is allowed to slide into their DMs any time the spirit moves him.
Click for Sound

"I think it is an outstanding tool in the toolbox," Nick Crossley, president of the International Association of Emergency Managers in the U.S., told NBC. "It is a great way to get notification to anybody who has a cellphone."

Nick — can I call you Nick? — I hope it doesn't dampen your enthusiasm for emergency management, for which we are all very grateful, but I don't think you've thought through what could happen here.

I'll make a deal with you, Nick. You spend a year as the sole participant in this pilot project and get back to us after the seventeenth "LOCK HER UP!" sends you shooting straight up in bed at 3 a.m.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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So yeah if you woke up yesterday and turned on your phone and saw Twitter, you might have seen Mario Kart trending. You remember the game if you’re a 90s kid like I am. It’s the game where your goal was to drive as fast as possible to lap your opponent and if you didn’t, just even screwing around on the game was fun. In fact here’s a scene of the game being played.

Now here’s where it gets disturbing. It of course involves Stormy Daniels and Trump, because, why wouldn’t it? And Stormy makes a particularly disturbing revelation that makes us never want to play Mario Kart ever again.

Millions of Nintendo fans on Twitter were horrified earlier today when they learned precisely why Mario Kart was trending on the popular social media platform, and that it had nothing to do with a new edition of the popular racing video game series.

It all began with an appearance by adult film actress Stormy Daniels on The View to promote her upcoming tell-all book Full Disclosure. Daniels became a national name following a federal investigation into claims that she had an affair with President Donald Trump, and that his lawyer, Michael Cohen, had violated campaign finance laws by paying Daniels $130,000 in hush money in order to keep the story quiet leading up the 2016 election. Trump initially denied advance knowledge of Cohen's payment to Daniels - although a conversation recorded without his consent by Cohen would later prove otherwise - and says the affair didn't happen. Daniels contends that the affair did happen, and is currently suing Trump for defamation of character after he called her a liar.

Huffington Post reported on Daniels' interview, and the resulting turmoil online after she compared a portion of President Trump's anatomy to “the mushroom character in Mario Kart.” The site also re-posted the colorful responses of many other Twitter users, and their horrified reactions after they discovered why Toad and Mario Kart were trending topics. Making this all the more darkly comedic was the amusing response from Nintendo Life's Twitter account, which can be viewed below.

Yes, no indeed! But come on, Nintendo’s lovable mascot doesn’t deserve this! I mean what did Toad do to deserve that comparison? All he does is travel the Mushroom Kingdom and give you things. Come on, Stormy. Seriously, don’t mess with the Toad Brigade!

However, if you already have an inkling of why Toad is suddenly trending and you need a little more context, well, we’re sorry, but we’re here for you.

This story begins with the Guardian publishing excerpts from porn actress and director Stormy Daniels’s forthcoming tell-all book, Full Disclosure, about her alleged past affair with Donald Trump. The book apparently contains a graphic description of a sexual encounter with Trump, including a detailed description of the president’s penis.

I’m about to quote it. You’ve been warned.

“It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool,” Daniels writes. “I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart.”

Though the book also contains mentions of Daniels’s impression that Trump never wanted to be president, and of her $130,000 hush agreement, it’s the description of Trump’s genitalia that has dominated the discussion around the excerpts.

For those of you who have never touched a Nintendo console in your life, Toad is indeed a little mushroom man, whose mushroom cap (ugh) was confirmed to be part of his head and not just a hat by Super Mario Odyssey producer Yoshiaki Koizumi earlier this year.

And while he’s a bit gormless, Toad doesn’t deserve to be a part of this discourse: He is a perfectly fine playable character in Mario Kart, he runs Mario Party, and he generally tries to help out in every other Mario franchise game, going all the way back to 1985’s Super Mario Bros.

Thanks Stormy, while we’re all rooting for you to take down this horrible regime currently occupying the White House, you forever ruined one of our favorite video games. I can’t even think about Mario now without picturing Toad looking like a penis. And I was playing Mario Odyssey last night. So if you’re playing Mario Kart, who should you pick now that Toad has been ruined forever?

Tuesday began like any other in the Mushroom Kingdom: With Princess Peach presiding over her loyal subjects, and a collection of troublemakers wreaking havoc. But for once, it's not Bowser drawing up the negative headlines that usually accompany his hijinks in the Mario universe, because the formerly innocent Toad was compared to the the President of the United States' dick by Stormy Daniels.

This stunning revelation has been devastating for Toad fans, including our very own Kevin Nguyen:

Toad has long been an ideal selection in Mario Kart, since he's both adorable and speedy as hell. Do not despair, though. We've compiled a brief collection of suitable replacement characters to choose from if the phallic imagery Toad now inspires has you questioning your Mario Kart-playing experience/entire childhood. (To be clear, this isn't a boycott of Toad. It's an exercise in self care.)

Princess Peach

She's one of the few characters who's appeared in every iteration of Mario Kart, and many of the other mainstays either don't have similar driver characteristics to Toad, or have disqualifying mustaches. Her Mario Kart Wiki page notes that her "performance is notably on par with Toad." That's more than enough empirical evidence from a trusted source to make the switch. Another worthy reason: In Super Smash Bros, Peach has long been using Toad as a shield/attack counter, so clearly she realized a while ago that he's expendable. That foresight deserves to be rewarded.

Yeah next time you play Mario Kart, choose Princess Peach before someone else does! After all, she floats in the air! Assuming that giant hoop skirt doesn’t get in the way! But really this is one of those things that’s better left where we don’t want to know why it’s trending. Excuse me, I need to go take a cold shower after reading this.

In a tell-all memoir, the pornographic actor Stormy Daniels details salacious descriptions of her time with Donald Trump, wonders if he is fit to be president and claims that he offered to cheat for her in his reality TV show.

A copy of the book, Full Disclosure, was obtained by the Guardian. In it, Daniels describes her mounting disbelief as Trump began to win primary contests in 2016 for the Republican presidential nomination. Former castmates whom she had not heard from in years, but who had heard her story about sleeping with Trump in 2006, would call her up to marvel at the news.

“It will never happen, I would say,” Daniels writes. “He doesn’t even want to be president.”

But as Trump kept winning, she writes, she began to think she might be in danger. The story she had to tell about Trump seemed more sensitive the more he won. And she had already been threatened once, years earlier, and warned never to tell the story about Trump, she has claimed.

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: The (Previous) Hurricane
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Oxnard it’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

The Puerto Rican Hurricane – Hurricane Irma – was one of the largest and deadliest in modern history, and America is working hard to prevent the same devastation by preparing for the latest hurricane, Hurricane Florence. Or are they? One person in particular is making some absolutely absurd claims about the previous hurricane that have been, well, less than truthful. That person in question also happens to be the 45th president of the United States, Donald J. Trump.

President Trump patted himself on the back Tuesday for an “incredibly successful” job done in Puerto Rico, where the government estimates that nearly 3,000 people died as a result of Hurricane Maria last year.

Speaking from the White House, Mr. Trump sought to assure the public that the Federal Emergency Management Agency was ready for Hurricane Florence, which is currently heading toward the Carolinas, saying, “We are as ready as anybody has ever been.”

He boasted that the federal government got excellent grades for its disaster response in Texas and Florida, but he complained that the even better job done in Puerto Rico had been ignored. “I think that Puerto Rico was an incredible, unsung success,” Mr. Trump said.

He noted that the United States military sent a “tremendous military hospital in the form of a ship” to the island. That ship, however, was largely underused. Prepared to support 250 hospital beds, it admitted an average of only six patients per day, or 290 in total, over its 53-day deployment.

Well as a matter of fact he is wrong. In fact investigative journalists have been working overtime since the announcement to prove the president wrong. And as a matter of fact the numbers might actually be worse than you would think. Which begs the question – did we learn anything from Irma? Answer: probably not.

Tropical storms are once again ravaging large parts of the world from North Carolina to the Philippines. These vast natural weather systems are confusingly named differently according to their region. In the Americas the term “hurricane” is used while in East Asia they are called “typhoons” and across South Asia and the South Pacific they refer to “cyclones” . This naming system can sometimes mislead the public away from connecting the causes of these weather events. But as the oceans become warmer, the science shows that we can expect these extremes to occur more frequently and with greater ferocity. The severity of this week’s Hurricane Florence and Typhoon Mangkhut are further evidence of that fact.

Regardless of the term used, hurricanes, typhoons or cyclones (which I’ll just refer to as “hurricanes” from now on, for simplicities sake) clearly cause material damage and loss of life when they occur. Last year across the Caribbean, several islands faced severe destruction followed by months without a power or water supply. The impact is even more catastrophic for small islands from where the inhabitants have no place to evacuate to in the event of an oncoming hurricane, and where a single event can wipe out an entire country’s economy. After being hit by the eye of Hurricane Irma last, the island of Barbuda was completely evacuated and almost one year later many have still not returned home. Two weeks later, Hurricane Maria smashed into Dominica, wiping out 225% of GDP and went on to hit Puerto Rico resulting in the deaths of at least 2,975 people.

In fact the president is wrong and death tolls often get worse after the hurricane hits as the numbers keep growing – many people die due to lack of resources like electricity and clean water.

More than six months after Hurricane Irma's catastrophic rampage across the Caribbean and the southeastern United States, the number of deaths attributed to the storm increased to 129 — more than twice the amount reported at the end of the storm.

It took years for Hurricane Katrina's death toll to become fully known. That number is still debated today with figures used by disaster agencies varying by as much as 600 deaths.

And while the change in the number of dead from Hurricane Maria is perhaps the most dramatic — rising from 64 to a 2,975 after the Puerto Rican governor commissioned university researchers to review the count — it's common for death tolls in natural disasters to escalate weeks and months later because of deaths indirectly caused by a storm.

Those can include things like infections from contaminated water, electrocutions from downed power lines and failure to receive dialysis because of power outages. Deaths directly linked to a disaster include drownings from a storm surge or being crushed in a wind-toppled building.

Well the coffee may be the least of your problems. But as far as the current hurricane goes – there are multiple scenarios that will play out over the course of the next few months. But one thing is clear is that people are going to die. We just don’t know how many.

The final death toll of storm Florence may not be known for many weeks because of indirect deaths long after it has passed.

The hurricane, which struck the south east on Thursday before being downgraded to a tropical storm, has so far left 17 confirmed fatalities.

But it's common for death tolls in natural disasters to increase weeks and months later because of deaths indirectly caused by the storm.

Indirect deaths can be caused by infections from contaminated water, electrocutions from downed power lines and failure to receive dialysis because of power outages.

For example, more than six months after Hurricane Irma's catastrophic rampage across the Caribbean and the southeastern US, the number of deaths attributed to the storm increased to 129 - more than twice the amount reported at the end of the storm.

Yes that is the current weather report. But the take away is that the president is wrong, again, and on yet another issue. This has been Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of Oxnard! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

Now my fair congregation, it seems to me that Mother Nature is not a force that one should reckon with because she can be quite the handful if she gets way too out of control! And of course in these trying times when it seems that we have one extreme weather event after another, people often turn to the LAWRD our GAWD for inspiration. Or in many cases they tend to turn to the power of prayer, and one individual has been making the news lately for just such an occasion!

Televangelist Pat Robertson broke out a prayer that sounded more like a wizard’s spell as he attempted to block the approach of Hurricane Florence.

The massive storm is on a path to strike the Carolinas later this week, prompting mass evacuations in coastal areas.

Speaking in Virginia, home of his Christian Broadcasting Network and in the potential path of the storm, Robertson cited a Bible passage in which Jesus commanded the wind and water on the Sea of Galilee to “be still.”

Then the preacher said he and his followers could accomplish the same “if we are together with one accord.”

In a clip posted online by Right Wing Watch, he asked followers to “put a hand out toward the Atlantic” and repeat an incantation.

But well now when you come to use that kind of method to protect your property – and why wouldn’t you, you can expect a certain amount of, shall we say backlash. But our good brother Pat is probably used to that sort of thing by now. He just don’t care.

Televangelist Pat Robertson has commanded Hurricane Florence to stay away from land.

In particular, Robertson said at a Monday prayer service, he doesn’t want what is now a Category 4 hurricane still at sea to “hurt” Regent University and the Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN) — both founded by Robertson in the Virginia Beach area.

“We declare in the name of the Lord that you shall go no farther, that you will do no damage in this area,” said the 88-year-old host of “The 700 Club” on CBN. “We declare a shield of protection all over the Tidewater (in Virginia) and ... over those innocent people in the path of this hurricane. In Jesus’ holy name, be out to sea!”

Robertson told his congregation that his prayers have stopped a hurricane before.

He claimed it was prayers by him and a group of Christian businessmen that halted Hurricane Esther in its path in September 1961.

Robertson has a history of making comments that have brought him scorn. He tied the 2010 earthquake in Haiti, for example, to what he called a “pact with the devil” made by Haitians in the 18th century to get rid of their French colonizers.

But that didn’t stop Balrog, now, did it? And does that really work in real life? No it doesn’t and if you do believe that, I’ve got this book of fables to sell you in the lobby for $24.99! OK I don’t really have a book to sell you but still. But now we are going to cast our own “SHIELD OF PROTECTION” around our own church! Everyone, if you would join hands… it’s OK! Can we turn down the lights please? Oh LAWRD… if you may please guide our dear children of the church and protect their houses, their stuff, and their loved ones throughout this devastating hurricane. Wait, that didn’t work? Damn it!

“I don’t want that thing to come in,” Robertson said. “I don’t want it to hurt Regent, I don’t wait it to hurt CBN, I don’t want it to tear up the beautiful campus, I don’t want it to tear these trees down, I don’t want to see any damage, I don’t want a bunch of glass flowing, and I don’t want [damage] all over this area that is counting on us to pray for them.”

Televangelist Pat Robertson spoke at a special prayer service at his Christian Broadcasting Network today, ordering Hurricane Florence not to harm any of his facilities and to turn back out to sea.

At the moment, Hurricane Florence is a Category 4 storm that is expected to hit the eastern coast of the United States sometime later this week. In preparation, Robertson is declaring a “shield of protection” over his CBN network and Regent University and calling on God to intervene and turn the storm away from land.

Robertson claimed that when he first arrived in Virginia in 1961 to establish CBN, the region was threatened by Hurricane Esther, which he feared would destroy his fledgling network. As such, Robertson and his staff gathered in prayer and commanded the storm to shift course, which he claims miraculously happened because God stepped in to save CBN.

With another storm approaching, Robertson again gathered with CBN staff today to order Florence to veer away from land and produce no damage.
“I don’t want that thing to come in,” Robertson said. “I don’t want it to hurt Regent, I don’t wait it to hurt CBN, I don’t want it to tear up the beautiful campus, I don’t want it to tear these trees down, I don’t want to see any damage, I don’t want a bunch of glass flowing, and I don’t want [damage] all over this area that is counting on us to pray for them.”

Oh LAWRD please protect brother Pat from his own insanity! Thank you! But Pat Robertson’s claims about this hurricane are about as vile as he is! And he is the one who really needs saving!

He’s a magic man: Prominent televangelist Pat Robertson celebrates his magic powers, claims his prayers sent Hurricane Florence away from Virginia.

Earlier this week Robertson tried to establish a “shield of protection” ahead of Hurricane Florence, and now the televangelist is celebrating, claiming victory because he believes Hurricane Florence will not strike his properties in Virginia because God has responded to his prayers.

Right Wing Watch reports:

Today on “The 700 Club,” televangelist Pat Robertson continued to credit his prayers with changing the path of Hurricane Florence away from his properties in Virginia and toward states farther south.

There you have it folks! Pat once again talks out of his ass about the good LAWRD JAYSUS and thinks that he can simply pray away the hurricane! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]People Who Somehow Got Elected
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Politicians at the state, national and local levels who are so toxic that you ever wonder how they were able to get into office, much less stay there. This is:

This week Orange County, California representative Dana Rohrabacher. In a city next to Los Angeles, in an area known for diversity, it’s really the old white men who are calling the shots. And one of the oldest white men who continues to represent the county is Dana Rohrabacher. If you were to put up a profile shot of “Mr. Conservative”, he would probably win every time. But now in the era where Donald J. Trump is president, he’s known for something else. He’s known for being the most pro Trump, pro Russia candidate that’s ever been elected.

Dana Rohrabacher, the embattled Orange County congressman known for his close ties to the Kremlin, said Friday that Atty. Gen. Jeff Sessions should resign after showing disloyalty to President Trump by refusing to shut down the Russia investigation.

For a Republican incumbent already in danger of losing his seat in a district that favored Hillary Clinton over Trump in 2016, the remarks carried the risk of serious political damage.

In most of the nation’s hotly contested House races, the Russia scandal has not been a big focus. But Rohrabacher’s friendly posture toward Russian President Vladimir Putin has caused trouble in his run for reelection.

His latest comments came a day after Sessions responded to Trump’s extraordinary attacks on his own attorney general by saying the Justice Department “will not be improperly influenced by political considerations.”


So what does Congressman Rohrabacher have to do with Russia and Trump? He must be vying for that Attorney General spot in Trump’s cabinet should he eliminate Sessions – and we all know that day is coming. He’s just stalling the inevitable. But did you also know that Rohrabacher is a raging racist? Yeah we’re not surprised either.

In newly surfaced footage from a February 2018 interview on Voice of America (VOA) China, the U.S. government-funded broadcasting service, Republican U.S. Rep. Dana Rohrabacher was asked if he wanted to offer a message to the network’s audience, which at the time was celebrating the Chinese New Year. He took the opportunity to riff on the racist trope about Chinese people eating dogs.

“Well, let me just note, coming in is the Year of the Dog,” Rohrabacher said. “Now, there are some people in the United States who don’t like it that Chinese people eat dog. And I want them, the Chinese people, to know, that we eat bunnies over here, and we eat all kinds of little animals. I don’t blame them for eating dog. I mean, if that’s what tastes good, that’s what tastes good.”

This is the interviewer’s reaction to Rohrabacher volunteering his opinion about dog meat, which was, coincidentally, also my reaction.

“We should make sure that we reach out to the Chinese people so they understand us, and we understand them,” Rohrabacher continued. “And we don’t attack their ways, they don’t attack our ways. But in fact, I believe that the Chinese people are America’s and the world’s greatest allies in seeking a peaceful world. Because they don’t want to live under tyranny and they want to live prosperous lives.

“So let them know in China that many people like myself—we don’t like their government, and we think the Chinese government is a real threat to the future of peace in the world—but the Chinese people, we can all be friends and work together for a much better world in the years ahead,” Rohrabacher said.

Yes whoa indeed. That is some pretty strong words there, and an extremely horrible and outdated stereotype at that. So who is funding Mr. Rohrabacher, you might ask? Well, it turns out some very shady people. And it also might surprise you (not) that he had to return that donation.

A jury in Virginia found Paul Manafort, Trump’s former campaign chairman, guilty on multiple counts of felony tax fraud this week. The ripples of those guilty verdicts reached the other side of the country to Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (R-CA).

Rohrabacher recently told the L.A. Times Manafort was one of his “old friends,” and mentioned they first met working together on Ronald Reagan’s campaign.

Both men also have unusually close ties to Russia. According to Roll Call, Manafort worked “on behalf of the pro-Russian political party in Ukraine that held power there from 2010 to 2014.” Manafort met with Rohrabacher in 2013 and discussed matters related to the pro-Russian Ukrainians.

Three days after their meeting, Manafort made a $1,000 donation to Rohrabacher’s campaign, Roll Call reported.

After learning Manafort was a convicted felon earlier this week, Rohrabacher’s spokesperson told Roll Call that the congressman intends to fulfill a pledge to donate the $1,000 to a local charity. The spokesperson said the charity has not be chosen yet.

A jury in Virginia found Paul Manafort, Trump’s former campaign chairman, guilty on multiple counts of felony tax fraud this week. The ripples of those guilty verdicts reached the other side of the country to Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (R-CA).

Rohrabacher recently told the L.A. Times Manafort was one of his “old friends,” and mentioned they first met working together on Ronald Reagan’s campaign.

Both men also have unusually close ties to Russia. According to Roll Call, Manafort worked “on behalf of the pro-Russian political party in Ukraine that held power there from 2010 to 2014.” Manafort met with Rohrabacher in 2013 and discussed matters related to the pro-Russian Ukrainians.

Three days after their meeting, Manafort made a $1,000 donation to Rohrabacher’s campaign, Roll Call reported.

After learning Manafort was a convicted felon earlier this week, Rohrabacher’s spokesperson told Roll Call that the congressman intends to fulfill a pledge to donate the $1,000 to a local charity. The spokesperson said the charity has not be chosen yet.

Yes, a couple of bucks, but it came from such shady sources that Rohrabacher was ultimately forced to give it back. But with the extent of the damage that Russia did to our country in the wake of the 2016 election, is it any wonder that Rohrabacher might not win reelection?

While the investigation into the Trump campaign's ties to Russia and Russia's meddling in US elections has topped the headlines, Democratic midterm candidates across the country have found it difficult to engage swing voters on those topics.

But the contenders challenging Dana Rohrabacher in California's 48th District believe they've got a special case in the quirky Republican congressman, who has persistently advocated for closer US relations with Russia and claims to have once arm-wrestled Russian President Vladimir Putin.

With less than two weeks before California's June 5 primary, Democratic candidate Harley Rouda, who likes to refer to Rohrabacher as "Putin's favorite congressman," is taking a wry look at some of Rohrabacher's odder statements -- highlighting the Orange County congressman's unusual Russia connections with a light touch in a new digital ad featuring former 'Seinfeld' star Jason Alexander.

Rouda enlisted Alexander, who played the infamous George Costanza on "Seinfeld," to serve as his moderator in a mock debate with Rohrabacher, who appears in television clips from an iPad-style screen mounted on the podium opposite Rouda in the mock debate.

There you have it – Rohrabacher loves Putin so much that he actually once arm wrested the Russian dictator. That’s Congressman Dana Rohrabacher – another in the growing list of:

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[font size="8"]How Is This Still A Thing
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Oxnard it’s time to once again ask:

Woody Allen’s career – how is this still a thing? In the wake of the #MeToo movement which took down Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby as two of the most powerful figures in Hollywood, one man who has widely been known as a sexual deviant still has a career. Of course that is the world famous director known as Woody Allen. Woody Allen – even his name is “Woody”. Yes, that is a very immature joke to make given the subject matter. But this week some shocking new allegations have been made that would point to Woody being guilty as ever.

Soon-Yi Previn has broken her silence to defend husband Woody Allen against allegations of molestation and to accuse her adopted mother Mia Farrow of abusing her emotionally and physically as a child.
In a rare and controversial interview published Sunday in New York magazine Vulture, Previn opens up about her relationship with Allen -- who was Farrow's partner for a significant period of time while Previn was growing up -- and says that her mother "was never kind to me, never civil."
Previn, who is originally from South Korea, was adopted by Farrow at the age of 6. Her sexual relationship with Allen, 35 years her elder, sparked global outrage when it was revealed in the early 1990s -- when she was 21 years old.
At around the same time, Allen was facing accusations of molesting 7-year-old Dylan Farrow, another of Farrow's adopted children. He has always denied the allegations and was not charged.

Uh huh sure, Mr. Allen, and we’re sure you have more than that. But this whole thing with Woody Allen isn’t going over too well with proponents of the #MeToo movement, and isn’t even going over well with most members of his own family.

Mia Farrow's children Dylan and Ronan Farrow have hit back at Woody Allen's wife Soon-Yi Previn's claims that she was abused by the actress.

Previn, who caused a scandal worldwide when she embarked on a romantic relationship with Allen, who at the time was in a relationship with her adoptive mother Farrow, alleged in a piece for New York Magazine that the "Rosemary's Baby" star both verbally and physically abused her.

(WENN) — Mia Farrow's children Dylan and Ronan Farrow have hit back at Woody Allen's wife Soon-Yi Previn's claims that she was abused by the actress.

Previn, who caused a scandal worldwide when she embarked on a romantic relationship with Allen, who at the time was in a relationship with her adoptive mother Farrow, alleged in a piece for New York Magazine that the "Rosemary's Baby" star both verbally and physically abused her.

As well as spanking her with a hairbrush and slapping her round the face, 47-year-old Previn claimed that Farrow held her upside-down for lengthy periods of time and once threw a porcelain rabbit at her.

Previn made the allegations as she responded to Farrow, 73, and her daughter Dylan's claims that Allen sexually abused Dylan when she was a child.

And we’re sure that Woody’s nose grew just as much as Leslie Nielsen’s did. Yes, you can make your own jokes here. Go ahead. But here’s where it gets ugly – and of course it would. So maybe this is a case of this happening “too soon”? But really it’s weird and creepy to say the least.

Soon-Yi Previn, the wife of Woody Allen and the estranged adopted daughter of Mia Farrow, defended her husband against what she contends is unfair treatment in the #MeToo era and attacked her adoptive mother in her first public comments about the relationships in decades.

New York magazine posted on its website Sunday night an in-depth article about Previn in which she talks of a troubled relationship with her mother and tells how she fell in love in 1992 with Allen, who was Farrow’s boyfriend at the time.

The 47-year-old said she and her mother clashed soon after Farrow adopted her and that her mother many times treated her like a maid. She denies being manipulated into a relationship by Allen.

Previn told the magazine that she decided to speak out now because Dylan Farrow, who is an adopted daughter of Allen, is, in her view, unfairly accusing her husband of sexually abusing Farrow when she was a child.

“I was never interested in writing a ‘Mommie Dearest,’ getting even with Mia — none of that,” Previn told the magazine. “But what’s happened to Woody is so upsetting, so unjust. (Mia) has taken advantage of the #MeToo movement and paraded Dylan as a victim. And a whole new generation is hearing about it when they shouldn’t.”


Sure, Woody will apparently join Bill Cosby at some point. Maybe the two of them can share a cell together. One thing is for certain though – even with the recent allegations and family drama, it appears that Amazon has done the right thing and won’t release his latest film.

Woody Allen’s latest film, A Rainy Day in New York, has been left in limbo after Amazon Studios appeared to shelve it indefinitely.

The production company, which was contractually obliged to distribute the film, said on Thursday: “No release date has ever been set.”

Amazon, which signed a five-film deal with the director in 2016, struggled to find wide theatrical distribution for his previous offering, Wonder Wheel, after renewed media focus on a sexual assault allegation made by his then seven-year-old adopted daughter, Dylan Farrow, in 1992

Which is apparently true. Woody Allen has been rejected everywhere, apparently. He even revealed recently that Hillary Clinton did the right thing and returned his campaign donation:

Hillary Clinton returned Woody Allen’s contribution to her presidential run, the controversial director has revealed.

The New York Magazine’s website Vulture were interviewing Allen’s wife, Soon-Yi Previn, when he interrupted the conversation to make a point about the public perception of their marriage.

“I am a pariah,” he said. “People think that I was Soon-Yi’s father, that I raped and married my underaged, retarded daughter.”

Allen underlined the point by claiming the pair’s donation to Clinton’s last campaign was unceremoniously returned, implying it had something to do with his public perception. He did not disclose how much he planned to donate.

No, Woody, we won’t do that. But even Hillary Clinton rejected his donation. That’s enough to make you ask – Woody Allen’s career:

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
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Hey Oxnard it’s time for one of my favorite Top 10 segments. I really need a drink!

So of course you know the idea behind this segment is that we have a few drinks, get drunk and talk about anything in the news as long as it’s not politics. And it’s a good chaser after some of the really dark shit we talk about every week. So tell me bartender, what goes well with a haunted house? Liquid brains? What’s that? Ah fuck it, I’ll just take beer served in a beer bong. It’s been a while since I have done one of these. But why a beer bong? Because our good friend Post Malone – you know him as the singer behind the awesome album “Beerbongs And Bentleys” – has been in a bit of bad luck lately, but there may finally be a reason behind it. Where’s my beer? Thank you. But so you know what happened – Post Malone had a run in with that plane crash, then he was in a car crash. Here’s more.

Post Malone got into a serious car accident on Friday morning.

The wreck comes a little over two weeks after the left tires on a private plane the “Rockstar” singer and guitarist was aboard blew out on takeoff, forcing a scary emergency landing.

Malone, 23, was riding in the passenger’s seat of his white Rolls-Royce Wraith in West Hollywood when the car collided with a Kia, Sgt. Frank Diana of the West Hollywood Sheriff’s Department confirms to PEOPLE. The vehicle, which was being driven by Malone’s assistant, then smashed through a nearby fence before stopping in some bushes.

No injuries were reported from the accident, Sgt. Diana said. He also said no alcohol was involved in the crash.

Yes damn indeed! So that is some really shitty luck and we would like to extend our beerbongs to you, Mr. Malone! But here’s where it gets weird. Because of course it would! It turns out that Mr. Malone might actually be cursed, for real! Now cue the horror music!

At first, it looked like Post Malone had gotten himself caught up in a classic Final Destination scenario. In August, right after the VMAs, the rapper and his entourage boarded a private plane to London, only to have the tires blow off immediately after take-off. The pilot managed to land the plane safely, but the Universe appeared to believe it had been deprived of a soul it was owed; a few days later, armed robbers broke into a house where Malone used to live and demanded to see him. Fortunately, he wasn’t there. Again, he was fine, and again, the Universe seemed to rage. On September 7, the rapper’s Rolls Royce was T-boned by a Kia in West Hollywood. He made it out unscathed. Now, however, it seems this string of misfortune is not the Universe working to correct an accounting error, but the result of a good old-fashioned curse, obtained from a haunted box.

According to TMZ, Malone visited Ghost Adventures host Zak Bagans’s Haunted Museum in Las Vegas back in June. Bagans showed him around while Malone casually sipped a beer, and at one point brought him to see the dybbuk box that inspired the horror film The Possession. “Dybbuk” is Yiddish for “malicious spirit,” and the box is believed to be the most haunted object in the world.

Yeah so Post Malone might actually be cursed. That is certifiably insane. Maybe not so much that he visited a haunted mansion in Vegas but the fact that his Rolls Royce got t-boned by a Kia. Now that is horrifying sir! And we’re not done!

Post Malone‘s old home was burglarized over Labor Day weekend, TMZ reported.

Three men allegedly broke a front window after midnight on Sept. 1 at the house in San Fernando Valley. A new resident of the house was reportedly pistol-whipped.

According to the outlet, one of the burglars shouted, “Where’s Post Malone?” although the musician no longer resides at the address.

The Los Angeles Police Department confirmed to PEOPLE that a burglary occurred last weekend but could not confirm that the home ever belonged to Malone.

So is Post Malone cursed? That is the question that we need to answer. But the real question that we need to answer is are haunted houses still a thing? And why would there be one in Vegas of all places?

Rapper Post Malone has not had the best of luck lately.

Some people believe it may be a result of something that happened during a visit to Las Vegas.

"Ghost Adventures" star Zak Bagans has released video that shows the rapper inside of Bagans' haunted museum in downtown Las Vegas in June.

Bagans is seen touching what he calls the most haunted object in the world -- the Dybbuk Box.

Malone is then seen touching Bagans shoulder and Bagans jumps back. Bagans says that Malone saw a dark figure and it followed them out of the museum.

So Post, the next time you’re back in LA stop by the show and we’ll do some beerbongs because you definitely need to reverse that curse!

Well, all of that bad luck might just make sense now — according to TMZ, Post had messed with "the world's most haunted object" called the "Dybbuk box" not too long ago, and now spirits are after him. Plain 'n simple.

ANYWHO, after cracking open some cold ones with Zak Bagans — the guy from the Travel Channel's Ghost Adventures — the two explored Bagan's Haunted Museum and touched the Dybbuk box.

Post isn't the only one who's felt the wrath of the Dybbuk box though — other people throughout history who have had the box in their possession have also reported ~strange phenomena~.

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[font size="8"]Deep State Diaries Episode 12: The US Navy
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It’s time for episode 12 of Deep State Diaries. Yes we’re touring the 24 branches and services that make up the United States government. Everything from the FBI to the IRS to the Pentagon to the CIA to the DPW to the DVA to parks and recreation and all branches and services in between. Of course if you’re here you probably already know more about our government and how it works than your average Fox News loving Trump supporter does. So that’s what this segment is going to address. We are going to do a deep dive into all that makes the United States the United States. Because we here at the Top 10 love to educate as well as entertain. Because we care.

[font size="6"]The US Navy[/font]

Ahoy mateys! Welcome aboard! We need some music for this one!

OK so you know that our show policy now is that we will never make fun of anyone on active duty or our armed forces. But we can make fun of the situation right? I mean after all, it’s our god given first amendment right damn it! So no journey through the Deep State would be complete without paying a visit to one of the most important buildings in the United States of America – the Pentagon! And of course the Pentagon famously has 5 branches which we will all be exploring. Soon to be a sixth if we create Space Force under the Trump administration. But if you need to know what those are – they’re the Army, the Navy, the Air Force, the US Marine Corp, and the Coast Guard. Of which we will be exploring those later. But here’s what you should know what the Navy has been up to lately.

The U.S. surface Navy is moving rapidly toward buying a new large surface ship that will replace the aging cruisers, a ship that Navy leaders and experts say will need to be spacious to accommodate future upgrades and weapon systems.

The office of the Chief of Naval Operations Director of Surface Warfare, or OPNAV N96, has convened a “large surface combatant requirements evaluation team” to figure out what the Navy’s next large ship will look like and what it will need to do. The goal, according to the N96 head Rear Adm. Ron Boxall, will be to buy the first cruiser replacement in 2023 or 2024.

The acquisition process should kick off formally next year once a capabilities development document is completed, but a few main factors are driving the size requirement, Boxall said.

The fleet is pushing towards designs that can easily be upgraded without a major overhaul. To do that, the Navy thinks its going to need a lot of extra power for more energy-intensive weapons in the future, such as electromagnetic rail guns and laser weapons.

Apparently no boat is big enough for the US Navy. They need bigger boats and bigger boats! I mean what good is the USS Enterprise when the enemy already has a bigger ship waiting for them in the wings here? Yes, I do realize I almost said “shit”, sir, thank you. But what else has the Navy been up to? We have above water but what about underwater?

General Dynamics’ (GD) wholly owned subsidiary Electric Boat has been awarded a $480.6m contract modification to continue development of the US Navy’s next-generation Columbia-class ballistic-missile submarine.

Under the contract modification, the company will be responsible for providing funding for advance procurement, advance construction and long lead time material for the first Columbia-class (SSBN 826) nuclear submarine.

The US Navy intends to develop and deploy a fleet of 12 new Columbia-class SSBNs, with the construction of the lead sea-based strategic deterrent slated to commence at the end of 2020.

Initially awarded in September last year, the complete contract for the production of 12 vessels has a total potential value of $6.1bn.

I really wonder if actual US Navy troops love or hate that song? Hey if you do be sure to leave it in the comments after the show. If you don’t, we’ll post the best hate mail in a future Top 10! So we’ve covered above water and underwater. But what happens when the US Navy rolls out their latest vessel? See how I used Navy speak there?

On the Camden waterfront, the World War II-era battleship USS New Jersey can be found moored as a floating museum. Her fighting days long over, the state’s namesake — which was launched in 1942 — serves as a reminder of an earlier age of naval warfare.

Far to the south in Virginia, meanwhile, another USS New Jersey is slowly taking shape in a sprawling shipyard in Newport News.

Smaller and far deadlier than its hulking predecessor, the nuclear attack submarine SSN-796 will be the next ship to carry the state’s name.

Now about 43 percent complete, the New Jersey will be delivered to the U.S. Navy in late 2021, said a spokesman for Huntington Ingalls-Newport News Shipbuilding.

While only a few photos of the work in progress have been cleared for release, they show workers in tight spaces assembling interior modules of the submarine.

Excuse me a minute… OK moving on. So what is the take away here? The United States loves its’ boats and sea vessels, and the bigger they are the better they are! And the more firepower they can unleash on their wartime opponents! But the challenges that the US Navy faces are some of the more harder ones of the US military to face especially given the challenges of the sea.

The next time we have a big war, I think the Navy will be our armed service that is caught the most flat-footed.

Why? Because it hasn’t had its nose bloodied since 1945. That’s a long time to go without facing a serious combat challenge.

Yes, it has had violent losses, such as aboard the USS Stark. But there is not a single person wearing a Navy uniform that has experienced a full-on attack by an enemy fleet.

What will catastrophe look like? Well, to get a notion, rub together these two sentences from the September issue of Proceedings:

“Two things are certain in the perennial carrier debate—the Navy will have carriers for decades to come, and as long as it does, the argument about their centrality to the fleet will continue.”

[font size="6"]Score Card [/font]

Overall importance: A
How Things Are Going: A+
Likely hood To Survive: A+

Overall: A+

[font size="6"]Next Week [/font]

We’re hanging out again in the Pentagon next week as we are going to explore the impact that Trump’s proposed Space Force has had on the US Air Force!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Gorillaz[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is one of my favorite bands of the last few years. Their latest album is called “The Now Now”. You can see them October 20th at the Demon Days Festival at the Pico Rivera Sports Arena in Pico Rivera, California. Playing their song “Hollywood”, give it up for Gorillaz!

Oxnard we love you! We’ll be back soon! This is the final stop of the first leg of our tour, I want to thank all our amazing hosts, we will be returning to our home at the UCB Theater next week. See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Levity Live, Oxnard, CA
Special Thanks To: Levity Live Management
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: Heritage Church Band, Camarillo, CA
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Articles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
Graphics: Top 10 Graphics Department
Research: Top 10 Research Department
Lighting & Stage Props: Top 10 Lighting Department
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HR: Top 10 Human Resources Department
Initech’s Wardrobe Provided By: JAB Inc.
Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
Gorillaz Appear Courtesy Of: Warner Music Group
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
Follow The Top 10 On Twitter at: @10Idiots
Questions? Comments? Complaints? Hate mail? E-mail The Top 10 at: Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com

Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

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