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Wed Aug 22, 2018, 04:00 PM

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #5-9: Space Nazis Coast To Coast Edition


Top 10 Conservative Idiots #5-9: Space Nazis Coast To Coast Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! What’s up Detroit??? The Motor City! Motown! Yes, we are back!!! Had a nice little vacay last week. But let’s get back to it and show you just how stupid our conservative leaders are! You know I hope there’s a place where I can get a good chili cheese dog around here, is there? Have you seen that chili? That shit looks lethal. When it cooks it’s like a giant radioactive glob of grease. Death by chili. Hey if there’s any musicians in the audience there’s a great band name for you – Death By Chili. Do we have time for the thing? Good. So the new movie that came out this week – “Billionaire Boys Club” is officially the biggest box office bomb of all time. So the movie made… any guesses? You sir, you said $1 million? Higher or lower? Lower? Yeah how about $287. Yeah there’s no billionaires being made off of this movie. So I had to do some digging on this movie – it stars Taron Egerton (Kingsman: The Secret Service) and Ansel Elgbort (Baby Driver). Now the movie had a budget of $15 million and grossed exactly $56 on a per screen average. Oh and did I mention that it stars Kevin Spacey? Yeah that might have been your problem right there. Yeah I know I buried the lead there, but really… it’s 2018! Who thought this was a good idea? Seriously. Oh oh…. Do you see that, my fair audience? Beep… beep… beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. That right there marks the death of Kevin Spacey’s career. 1993 – 2018. You will… not be missed. OK that’s enough of the intro. We got a lot of idiocy to get to but first John Oliver spells out our trade system in a language even our president can understand:



Holy shit, there was a lot of idiocy this week. In the first slot we have some late breaking news – Paul Manafort and Michael Cohen are going to prison! Trump really does have the worst attorneys, you guys! And they’re going away for possibly a very long time and we’ve got the inside scoop! Taking the second slot, while all that was going on, Trump instead decided to hold a MAGA rally in West Virginia where he sounded even crazier than usual, probably forgot what he was talking about, and instead decided to focus on his favorite subject: clean coal! At number 3 this week we lost an icon, a legend when Aretha Franklin passed away. But that didn’t stop Trump and conservatives (3) from making total asses of themselves when it came to paying tribute to the legendary R&B singer. At number 4 this week we’re going into outer space and telling you about the latest developments happening in the new 6th branch of the military in a piece we’re calling “Space Farce & The 24th & A Half Century!”. At number 5 this week we’ve got a new installment of Profiles In #Civility, and this week we’re going to play along as we found a game of N-Word Bingo and we’re going to use it to our advantage. Taking the 6th slot is our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates (6), and we’re going to take a look at the city of San Francisco, and they’ve got a massive poop problem that needs to be dealt with. At number 7 this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (7) and this week our resident pastor is becoming increasingly alarmed that his fellow religious zealots might be turning on each other. At number 8 we’ve got a new installment of “This Fucking Guy” and we’re going to be looking at dueling Christian conspiracy theorists Lance Wallnau and Rick Wiles.They’re crazy. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week we have a new installment of People Are Dumb (9) and whew, there were some doozies this week! Finally this week we’ve got the next installment of our ongoing series Deep State Diaries and this time we’re going to take a look at the inner workings of America’s legal system as we visit the venerable Department Of Justice! Plus to end the show this week we’ve got the great California reggae rock band Rebelution stopping by! And if you kids play your cards right they might play something off their new album “Free Rein”. So don’t make me turn this show around! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"] Michael Cohen & Paul Manafort
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Hey everyone guess what? There’s a lot of crooks in this administration and they’re all going to be going away for a very long time! You know anyone remember when Trump said he was only going to hire “the best people”? I only hire the best people, OK? Nobody hires anybody better than I do! So this week Mueller dropped the big one – and you might want to stock up on the popcorn because this is going to get good!

Michael Cohen, the former personal lawyer and fixer for President Donald Trump, pleaded guilty on Tuesday to eight counts related to tax fraud, excessive campaign contributions, making false statements to a financial institution, and unlawful corporate contributions at a court hearing in New York on Tuesday. He could face more than five years in prison.

Two of the counts that Cohen pleaded guilty to appear to relate to Trump directly. Cohen admitted on Tuesday to making payments to two women at the direction of an unidentified candidate for political office who appears to be the president. Those payments, Cohen said, were made to influence the outcome of the election.

While Cohen didn't name Trump directly during the hearing, his attorney Lanny Davis said shortly afterward that "Donald Trump directed [Cohen] to commit a crime by making payments to two women for the principal purpose of influencing an election." The Justice Department confirmed late Tuesday that Trump was the unidentified candidate.
https://www.cnbc.com/2018/08/21/trumps-ex-lawyer-michael-cohen-strikes-plea-deal-nbc-news.html




Somewhere I can totally picture Trump saying that. But then… oh it gets better! So much better! So Cohen is flipping and turning on Trump. Oh can we throw that tweet up there?




Yeah that might be the worst legal ad ever – rejected by your own boss! You’re fired, OK? And by the way, don’t retain your services! So here’s what happened next.

A federal jury in Virginia found former Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort guilty on eight counts of financial crimes, marking the first major prosecution won by special counsel Robert Mueller in his investigation of Russian meddling during the 2016 election.

Manafort was found guilty on the eight counts of the special counsel's 18-count indictment. Each count carries a hefty prison term - when combined, he is facing a maximum of 80 years behind bars, but at sentencing, the total will likely be less. The federal judge declared a mistrial in the other ten counts after jurors could not reach consensus.

Manafort showed no emotion as the judge told him to stand and face the jury, and the judge's clerk declared him guilty on a succession of counts. His wife, Kathleen Manafort, also remained stoic, displaying no response to the verdict was read.

Leaving court on Tuesday afternoon, Manafort's lead counsel, Kevin Downing, told reporters that his client was "disappointed" and "weighing his options."
https://abc11.com/manafort-found-guilty-on-8-counts-in-tax-fraud-trial-/4021375/




Damn straight! So this has been the last 24 hours. It’s going to take a lot to unpack everything that’s been going on so bear with us. But even Paul Manafort himself is realizing the dangers of this administration! I mean come on Michael, it’s taken you that long?

Paul Manafort had just been convicted on eight felony counts of tax and bank fraud. His lead defense lawyer walked up to a bouquet of microphones outside a Virginia federal courthouse and spoke with studied calm and world-class understatement: “Mr. Manafort will be evaluating all of his options at this point.”

He sure will, and quickly. Never mind the spin that Manafort was found guilty on fewer than half of the charges—Tuesday afternoon’s guilty verdicts mean that Donald Trump’s former campaign manager could be sentenced to a maximum of 80 years in prison. “These are all significant felony convictions,” says Mimi Rocah, a former federal prosecutor in New York. “It’s a big win for the special counsel.” That’s not simply because prosecutors were forced to explain complicated financial documents or overcome the admitted thievery of their star witness, former Manafort aide Rick Gates; or because Judge T.S. Ellis III seemed to delight in hectoring them. The case was the first courtroom test of Robert Mueller’s work in the ongoing Trump-Russia investigation, and it took place under extraordinary political and media pressure. “It’s important in a symbolic way, too,” Rocah says. “Some people who right now think that Trump is ruining all these institutions will get some faith back that he can’t corrupt everything.”

“I don’t want to overstate the impact, given the news cycle and the way in which the Trump administration has been very good at finding new ways of refocusing the press,” says Renato Mariotti, a former federal prosecutor in Chicago. “But this verdict cuts against Trump’s narrative that there is nothing to what Mueller has been doing—that it’s all phony, a witch hunt. Rudy Giuliani recently said that Mueller needs to ‘put up or shut up.’ Well, Mueller is putting up, right? He’s going to court and getting convictions.”
https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2018/08/conviction-for-paul-manafort-and-a-defeat-for-donald-trump-narrative-mueller




And in case you’re wondering just how corrupt Trump and his administration are – look no further than Michael Cohen! So Trump’s obviously got a few tricks up his sleeve – and one being the presidential pardon. So far he’s used it to clear Joe Arpaio of using his prisons for America’s Next Top Convict, and shitty documentary filmmaker Dinesh D’Souza. So will Manafort be joining those…. prestigious (?) ranks?

WASHINGTON – Michael Cohen, the president's former lawyer and fixer, doesn't want a pardon from President Donald Trump and, rather, is hoping to open up about what he knows to investigators with the special counsel Robert Mueller, his lawyer said.

Speaking with NPR Wednesday morning, Lanny Davis, Cohen's attorney, said his client wasn't interested in being pardoned.

"Under no circumstances would he accept a pardon from Mr. Trump," Davis said, adding that the president "not only directed a crime, he's part of a cover up."

Cohen pleaded guilty to eight counts Tuesday in a surprise hearing in New York that happened within an hour of a jury dropping a guilty verdict on eight counts in the trial against Trump's former campaign chairman, Paul Manafort.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2018/08/22/lawyer-michael-cohen-doesnt-want-pardon-president-donald-trump/1060199002/





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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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You might be asking yourself “where was Trump in all of this when his attorney and campaign manager were being indicted?” Well I answer you, sir or madam, with this. He was in West Virginia, completely forgetting the fact that his corrupt administration is going down. Instead he was there stumping for a… candidate? Ah, who am I kidding! He was stumping for himself! And he’s going off the rails at quite an alarming rate. At this point, picture the lowest point on earth, and then picture the bar going even lower than that.

WASHINGTON – President Donald Trump made only the most passing mention of the political and legal troubles rapidly enveloping his presidency during a rally of West Virginia Tuesday night, saying there's still no proof his campaign worked with Russian agents to win the 2016 presidential election.

"Fake news. How fake are they?" he said, pointing to news cameras at the back of the Charleston Convention Center. "Fake news and the Russian witch hunt. We've got a whole, big combination. Where is the collusion? You know, they're still looking for collusion! Where is the collusion? Find some collusion. We want to find the collusion."

Trump's rally in West Virginia came scarcely three hours after nearly simultaneous legal developments that threaten his presidency: A guilty verdict against former campaign chairman Paul Manafort on tax and bank fraud charges, and a guilty plea by his former personal attorney Michael Cohen for tax evasion bank fraud and illegal campaign contributions.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2018/08/21/donald-trump-west-virginia-rally-where-collusion/1057298002/




Hey! Trumpy is back everybody! No collusion!!! So where is the collusion, sir? Um… it’s happening RIGHT IN FUCKING FRONT OF YOU!!!! Just… ahh!!!!! You know Trump is this guy:



But then of course Trump went into his favorite talking point – himself and the results of the 2016 election. Really, I don’t think Trump knows the definition of the phrase “beating a dead horse” because that’s certainly what he’s doing here.

When President Donald Trump last visited Charleston, it was as a candidate for the office he now holds.

It was May 6, four days before the primary election. Texas Sen. Ted Cruz and Ohio Gov. John Kasich dropped out of the race days before, making Trump the presumptive GOP nominee. Around 12,000 people attended a campaign rally held at the Charleston Civic Center, in which Trump touted his goal of revitalizing the coal industry.

“You will look back and you will say it was the single greatest vote you ever cast. America will be great again. We’ll be America first. We’ll start winning, winning, winning, and you are going to be very proud,” he said. “And for those miners, get ready because you’re going to be working your asses off.”

Trump will return to Charleston Tuesday for his sixth visit to West Virginia since taking office and his first to Charleston since that rally.

The night before the visit, Trump tweeted a couple of times about the two most likely topics of the rally — a new proposal to regulate coal plant emissions and the U.S. Senate candidacy of West Virginia Attorney General Patrick Morrisey.
http://wvmetronews.com/2018/08/21/trump-expected-to-tout-coal-morrisey-at-charleston-rally/




Clean coal!!!! Clean coal!!! When will they realize that clean coal is an oxymoron? I mean they don’t call the disease you get from coal mining “clean lung”! But then Trump of course goes even further off the deep end when describing the wonders of clean coal:

Last night, the Trump administration unveiled its replacement for the Obama administration’s Clean Power Plan, which gave states targets to reduce the greenhouse-gas pollution emitted by their power plants. The Trump policy is designed to freeze in place the rapid changes in energy of the previous eight years. Trump is promoting his new policy in a speech in West Virginia today. But the most revealing explication of his policy came in little-publicized remarks to donors a few days earlier.

In his comments, which drew appreciative laughter and applause, Trump ranted bizarrely against wind energy, which he associates with his liberal elitist enemies, and in favor of coal, which he sees as infused with MAGA-ness. The short rant reveals more about the energy agenda of the new administration, and the diseased mind of its leader, than any other manifesto.

Coal, Trump told his audience, is “a tremendous form of energy in the sense that in a military way — think of it — coal is indestructible,” he declared. The president continued:


http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2018/08/trump-gives-his-craziest-climate-speech-ever.html




We got to play the video for this one because it’s truly spectacular. Yeah that happened! So when are we going to get the coal out of Trump’s head? You can’t get enough miners for that job, sir! Ah don’t you hate it when audience members are funnier than you sometimes? But this might be one of Trump’s most absurd claims yet! Guess what he said about windmills. Fucking windmills!

President Donald Trump criticized windmills as a source of energy at a New York fundraiser last week, saying they “kill so many birds,” amid escalating efforts by the Trump administration to revive the fading coal industry.

On Monday, Trump boasted that coal was an “indestructible” form of energy and ridiculed windmills at a private fundraising event in Utica. “Coal is indestructible. You can blow up a pipeline, you can blow up the windmills.

“They kill so many birds. You look underneath some of those windmills, it’s like a killing field. I said, ‘What happens when the wind doesn’t blow?’ ‘Well, then we have a problem.’”

Trump’s remarks came amid new plans to replace Obama-era climate policies with new regulations devised to ensure coal-burning plants run harder and operate for longer, leading to more harmful emissions.
https://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-says-windmills-are-bird-killers-he-tries-revive-coal-industry-1079910






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[font size="8"]Conservatives Pay Tribute To Aretha Franklin
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This week we lost a living legend. An icon of American arts, music and entertainment, and champion of civil rights, freedom, and diversity. I’m of course talking about Aretha Franklin. So the question arises – how do you honor a goddess among mere mortals? Well, there were lots of amazing tributes to Ms. Franklin, but that’s not what we are here to talk about. Instead we’re going to talk about the less sensitive ones coming from conservatives who don’t know how to pay R-E-S-PECT (see what I did there?) to one of the all time greats. Like our president for instance.

Trump reacted to news of the singer’s death during a Cabinet meeting the same day, offering his condolences to her family.

“She worked for me on numerous occasions,” he said. He also celebrated the “extraordinary legacy” of the soul, pop and R&B virtuoso, calling her “terrific.”

Trump’s comments proved, as ever, controversial, and not simply because her appearances at his properties hardly amounted to a sustained employment relationship. More pointedly, even if she had worked for him, some asked, what was the relevance of that fact on the day of her death?

“I find it disturbing and sad, and a reflection of his endless narcissism,” said David Ritz, who spent years with Franklin seeking to understand the guarded performer for his 2014 biography, “Respect: The Life of Aretha Franklin.” He also worked with Franklin on her 1999 autobiography, “Aretha: From These Roots.”
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2018/08/17/aretha-franklin-worked-for-me-claims-trump-did-she/?utm_term=.0c36ef25254e




Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! So that happened. But let’s expand on that – only in white conservative America could a white supremacist like Trump ever claim that one of the most prolific black female singers of our time – was one of his employees!

Donald Trump isn’t particularly nice to anyone. His standard demeanor and language in disagreement or debate resemble the union of a road-rage incident and a bad game of the dozens. Even in agreement, he’s not a person for whom respect—of others or of the office he holds—is necessarily a guiding light. He does not run out of venom for opponents, and rarely has a word of unqualified praise for people who haven’t praised him first.

But if one pattern in his remarks about other people has crystallized in the past few months, it’s that the president employs a particular species of dismissive language when he’s talking about black women. After spending a good chunk of his first year in office attacking black men, his sophomore year has involved high-profile verbal attacks against high-profile black women. And, as evidenced by his recent remarks on the death of the Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin, his need to subordinate black women, even without enmity, is a primary drive.

“I want to begin today by expressing my condolences to the family of a person I knew well,” Trump said Thursday during a Cabinet meeting. “She worked for me on numerous occasions. She was terrific—Aretha Franklin—on her passing. She brought joy to millions of lives and her extraordinary legacy will thrive and inspire many generations to come.”
https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2018/08/aretha-franklin-trump/567760/




Nah, there’s no holding or waiting. Trump was a dick and he’s so senile that he actually thought that Aretha worked for him. And here’s where it gets horrible. Aretha *HATED* Trump with the fiery passion of 1,000 suns. So he definitely ain’t giving her any R-E-S-PECT. R-E-S-PECT this, Trump!

Aretha Franklin made her feelings on President Donald Trump crystal clear behind closed doors.

The Respect singer, who died on Thursday after a battle with pancreatic cancer, was reportedly invited to perform at Trump’s inauguration ceremony in January 2016 but declined the offer as she didn’t agree with his political agenda.

According to the Daily Beast, Aretha told friends privately that ‘no amount of money’ could have persuaded her to perform at the inauguration.

Another source told the website that Aretha ‘despised’ everything Trump stood for and placed her support in his Democratic rival, Hillary Clinton, during the presidential race.

Weeks before Trump was sworn into the White House, The Hill asked Aretha if she would provide the soundtrack, to which she replied: ‘That’s a good question. That’s a very good question. We’ll see.’
https://metro.co.uk/2018/08/17/aretha-franklin-despised-president-trump-and-rejected-invite-to-perform-at-his-inauguration-7853545/




Oh and here’s where it gets weird, because, why wouldn’t it? Apparently Trump was begging Aretha to perform at his inauguration, and well, she turned it down. Shit, Trump couldn’t even get an Aretha impersonator!

As we all have learned, Aretha Franklin wasn’t just the Queen of Soul, she also fought for justice. Ms. Franklin was close to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and sang at his funeral. She offered to post bail for Angela Davis in 1979, saying, “I’m going to see her free if there is any justice in our courts, not because I believe in communism, but because she’s a Black woman and she wants freedom for Black people.” Franklin also sang at three inaugurations: Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton and Barack Obama. However, there is reportedly one inauguration she refused to lend her voice — Trump’s. And a new report claims he was begging the Queen of Soul.

Franklin “hated” the rise of Trump. Tom Barrack, the chairman of the Presidential Inaugural Committee, was attempting to book Aretha, The Daily Beast reports, writing, ” Trump had long considered the legendary singer a friend, and wanted the offer framed as an opportunity to help bring the country back together after a brutal, bruising presidential election.”

A “source” told The Daily Beast that Franklin said “no amount of money” would persuade her to perform for him at the inauguration. Also, “Another knowledgeable source described her as ‘despising’ everything he stood for, as an avowed Hillary Clinton supporter.”

The Daily Beast said Barrack’s spokesman declined to comment on the story.

Of course this should be no shocker. Unlike Omarosa, Ms. Franklin was able to clearly see who Trump was.
https://newpittsburghcourieronline.com/2018/08/19/trump-was-begging-to-get-aretha-franklin-to-perform-at-his-inauguration-and-her-reported-reaction-was-priceless/




And just when you think it couldn’t get any more insensitive, along comes Fox News and they had an even worse tribute for Aretha than Trump did! Yeah can we show that?

Praise poured in for Aretha Franklin Thursday following the news of her death from pancreatic cancer at the age of 76. Fans and fellow artists tweeted about her lasting influence, news channels ran touching retrospectives and a makeshift memorial sprung up at her Hollywood Walk of Fame star.

Somehow Fox News got it wrong.

During a video tribute to the Queen of Soul, Fox featured a graphic with two images of singers. The primary picture on the left was definitely one of a smiling Franklin. The secondary picture on the right, with the words “Aretha Franklin Singer 1942-2018” below it, was definitely Patti LaBelle.
https://www.mercurynews.com/2018/08/16/fox-news-tribute-to-aretha-franklin-mistakenly-uses-image-of-rumored-rival-patti-labelle/


Can we show that?





Wanna get away? You know what? Let’s play some Aretha.




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[font size="8"]Space Farce
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We need some music for this one.



Captain’s log. Stardate 2018822. America might be one step closer to creating a sixth branch of the Armed Forces that would explore (and most likely declare war on) the vast regions of outer space and beyond. But we have a megalomaniacal wannabe dictator at the helm of this country. But of course with anything new, there are obstacles and challenges when it comes to exploring the great beyond. Namely our government because why not?

Vice President Pence laid out an ambitious plan Thursday that would begin creating a military command dedicated to space and establish a “Space Force” as the sixth branch of the U.S. military as soon as 2020, the first since the Air Force was formed shortly after World War II.

Pence warned of the advancements that potential adversaries are making and issued what amounted to a call to arms to preserve the military’s dominance in space.

“Just as we’ve done in ages past, the United States will meet the emerging threats on this new battlefield,” he said in a speech at the Pentagon. “The time has come to establish the United States Space Force.”

But the monumental task of standing up a new military department, which would require approval by a Congress that shelved the idea last year, may require significant new spending and a reorganization of the largest bureaucracy in the world. And the idea has already run into fierce opposition inside and outside the Pentagon, particularly from the Air Force, which could lose some of its responsibilities.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/economy/pence-details-plan-for-creation-of-space-force-in-what-would-be-the-sixth-branch-of-the-military/2018/08/09/0b40b8d0-9bdc-11e8-8d5e-c6c594024954_story.html?utm_term=.f723d108096a




Yeah it’s going to be kind of like that. So what is the biggest challenge of setting up a brand new branch of the military when you don’t even know what it’s primary function is going to be yet?

The Senate has emerged as a major impediment to President Trump’s hopes for a new "Space Force."

While the House GOP has been largely supportive of the idea of creating a new military branch for space, skeptics in the Senate from both parties have raised concerns about its cost — and the potential for adding to bureaucratic overhead at the Pentagon.

There’s a recognition that players like China are increasingly turning to space, leaving a risk that the U.S. could be left behind. But there are also fears that it will turn into an expensive boondoggle.

“There is an absolute threat, and we need to figure out how to counter that,” said Sen. Joni Ernst (R-Iowa). “How do we make sure we're protecting taxpayer dollars and making sure they're most efficiently used while achieving that objective?”
http://thehill.com/policy/defense/402748-senate-emerges-as-obstacle-to-trumps-space-force




So what is the mission of Space Force? And who would be at the helm? Well, Roger Stone apparently has one idea already!



Wow, what a fine, fun loving group of Nazi Space Cowboys! Somehow I don't think Tommy Lee Jones would get involved with this crew. To infinity and... something? For the record let’s call this Space Nazis Coast To Coast. It’s not that crazy, I mean could it be?

The U.S. military hasn’t added a new uniformed service in 70 years, when the Air Force was created in the aftermath of World War II.

If Congress gets its way, that will soon change.

In a bipartisan vote last month, the House of Representatives approved legislation that would direct the Defense Department to build a new “space corps” within the Air Force. Its backers blame the Pentagon for failing to prioritize space security in recent years, a lapse that has allowed rivals like Russia and China the opportunity to catch up to U.S. superiority. The proposal’s fate now rests in the Senate, but its most powerful foe is the military itself, which says Congress should simply send more resources rather than force it to undertake a bureaucratic overhaul during a time of war.

“The military has not done a good enough job looking after space with all its other distracting priorities,” said Representative Jim Cooper, a Tennessee Democrat who has championed the idea of a space corps along with Representative Mike Rogers of Alabama, the chairman of an armed-services subcommittee in the House. “It’s just not getting the attention it deserves.”
https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2017/08/military-space-corps/536124/




That’s probably about the only thing threatening us in space right now. What, is Trump going to build a wall around Mars and make the Martians pay for it? “Mars is not sending us their best people, OK? I mean we need to build a wall and make them pay for it.” You know I just want to see the Flat Earthers’ heads explode, Kingsman style when they see that the earth is indeed round! So let’s ask an actual astrophysicist what he thinks about this. What do you think, Dr. Tyson?

Donald Trump’s proposed Space Force has been ridiculed by many well-known people including celebrities Stephen King and Mark Hamill, talk show host Jimmy Kimmel and even Defense Secretary James Mattis.

But it’s getting tacit support from, of all people, astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson ― sort of.

On Monday, Tyson tweeted that he’s “okay with a US Space Force” but suggested another new branch of the military might be more appropriate.

Some people pressed Tyson that his proposed “Truth Force” might cause more problems than it would solve.
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/neil-degrasse-tyson-space-force-trump-twitter_us_5b7ae09ee4b05906b415fec1





Oh!!!! You know what? Let’s bow out of this one the only way we know how!




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[font size="8"]Profiles In #Civility
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Hey Detroit, I hope that everyone got their bingo cards at the door because it’s time for some:



So I saw this version of Bingo come up on my Twitter feed and I got to thinking this would be great to play when we feature Profiles In #Civility. Now we’re flipping the rules of this Bingo game a bit – see the original premise was to figure out when it’s socially acceptable to use the N word. Now we’re going to use this same game to figure out when it’s socially acceptable for white people to call the cops on black people. Which is also never. But we’ll try. Here’s the game for those of you playing along at home. Unfortunately we can’t give you any prizes if you’re playing at home but here you’ll get our snazzy Top 10 Season 5 tour shirt! Yeah look at that! So here’s the board:



OK now that the rules have been explained here’s our first story. This one took place in Michigan where a patient had a rather unusual request.

A Black nurse is suing her employer for honoring a racist request at a Michigan hospital after a patient asked to be seen by someone of another race.

Teoka Williams claims that Beaumont Hospital in Dearborn violated her federal and state civil rights by accommodating a patient’s demand to remove the Black woman after she overhead a conversation where the patient said she “didn’t want a “Black b—-“ caring for her, Fox 2 Detroit reported. Williams said she was then subsequently barred from servicing the patient and was forbade from even entering the patient’s room.

In the federal lawsuit Williams filed on Monday, the registered nurse claims that she told human resources about the incident but said they told her in reply “patient requests are honored all the time and the next time it happens she would simply be taken off the assignment altogether.”

Beaumont Hospital released the following statement saying that its “highest priority is providing a safe environment that is free from discrimination for both our patients and staff, and delivering care with compassion, dignity and respect.”

Read more: https://thegrio.com/2018/08/20/black-nurse-sues-hospital-racism/




OK so who had… “I – I’m not a racist”? OK… you, sir, ma’am, you, you, you , and you. Next up we have this story out of Washington, DC, and if you’re riding the metro where there’s a bunch of people in public places, maybe don’t say this.

So this is a story about a white woman who thought it was a good idea to call a bus full of passengers “n-------” in Northeast D.C., during Tuesday evening rush hour ... only to find herself an unwilling participant in the time-honored tradition of catching hands.

According to Fox5DC, the woman had to be taken to the hospital after the verbal confrontation turned quickly physical, because you know, she called people niggers in Chocolate City of all places.

Emergency responders were called to a bus stop near 2nd and H streets at around 6 p.m. Apparently two women had gotten into an argument on the X2 Metrobus. It is not clear what started the argument. But it became clear what ended it.
https://www.theroot.com/feel-bold-enough-to-call-black-bus-riders-in-dc-the-n-w-1828391420



OK who had… G – “But black people use it too!!!!” I got you sir, ma’am, you, you, you, you, you, you, and you. Next up we have a pro gun activist (and probable Trump supporter) who used this word in a very unsettling manner.

A Vermont man whose gun activism got him a write-up by Fox News has been arrested for pointing a gun at a black woman while yelling racial slurs — an act that got him charged with a hate crime.

The Burlington Free Press reported that 23-year-old Sheldon Rheaume, a resident of Essex, VT, was jailed without bond early Tuesday morning after on charges of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, reckless endangerment and hate-motivated disorderly conduct.
https://www.rawstory.com/2018/08/gun-activist-profiled-fox-news-gets-arrested-hate-crime-threatening-black-woman-gunpoint/




OK who had… “B- But I didn’t use the hard -er!”? OK you ma’am, you sir, you and you. For our next story – we go to Boston for this story. So a woman parking her bike on the street is a reason to call the cops, right?

A Boston woman says she found herself being accosted by an angry white man simply because she parked her motorcycle on the street where he lived.

In a video posted on her Facebook page, Boston resident NeNe Judge’Mayo can be seen getting screamed at by a white man after she parked her motorcycle in what he described as “his neighborhood” of Dorchester — despite the fact that Judge’Mayo lives in Dorchester as well.
https://www.rawstory.com/2018/08/neighborhood-white-man-melts-seeing-black-woman-park-motorcycle-street/




OK who had “N – freedom of speech”? OK – you sir, you ma’am, you and you. Next up - why of course Florida is involved in this one! And if you’re a doctor you might want to refrain from using racial slurs, especially in a confined space like on an airplane.

A doctor showed up late at the Orlando, Fla., airport for an early morning American Airlines flight to Philadelphia this past Thursday. According to the New York Times, his flight was scheduled to take off at 6:24 a.m. He got to the gate at 6:00 a.m.

Airline employees at the gate told Dr. Jeffrey Epstein, 59, that he was too late to board the flight. Epstein became upset and began berating the employees at the gate, which resulted in police being called.

When the officers arrived, Epstein began yelling at them too, taunting them about their ability (or lack thereof) to de-escalate a situation and demanding that they either find him a flight or arrest him. The officers arrested him, and according to an arrest affidavit obtained by WESH, Epstein was charged with battery on a law enforcement officer, resisting arrest, trespassing after a warning and disorderly conduct.
https://www.theroot.com/white-doctor-in-florida-claims-police-treated-him-like-1828446630




OK who had “I – Ambien”? OK – you, you, you, you and you. Finally this week there is some good news coming out of the state of New York! So the state legislature there is proposing making this type of thing an actual hate crime.

In the past year, numerous incidents have been caught on tape in which white people called the police on black people who were simply sitting in coffee shops, enjoying a barbecue, or eating lunch in their university building. Now, one lawmaker in New York wants to criminalize these unnecessary 911 calls as hate crimes.

This week, New York State Sen. Jesse Hamilton proposed legislation that, if passed, would categorize 911 calls on law-abiding people of color as hate crimes. His proposal came not long after a Trump supporter reportedly called the police on him while he was campaigning on a Brooklyn street corner.

"That's gonna be a hate crime," Hamilton told Patch. "This pattern of calling the police on black people going about their business and participating in the life of our country has to stop."
https://www.bustle.com/p/calling-the-cops-on-black-people-unnecessarily-could-become-a-hate-crime-in-new-york-10148783




OK who had “O – not all white people”? BINGO!!!!! Come on up here sir! What’s your name? Robert? Where are you from? Dearborn? Great town I’ve been there! Awesome. Robert from Dearborn is our winner tonight! Round of applause! This has been:




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[font size="8"] Top 10 Investigates: San Francisco Poop
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Detroit it’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!



The city of San Francisco has been through a lot in the last few years. It’s the wealthiest city in the entire country. And with being the wealthiest city in the country comes a lot of responsibilities other cities just plain don’t have. The city is in fact dealing with a problem that’s not seen anywhere else in the entire country. San Francisco is dealing with a homeless problem that’s astronomical and only getting worse each year. But with the homeless problem comes a very stinky and smelly situation.

It’s an empirical fact: San Francisco is a crappier place to live these days. Sightings of human feces on the sidewalks are now a regular occurrence; over the past 10 years, complaints about human waste have increased 400%. People now call the city 65 times a day to report poop, and there have been 14,597 calls in 2018 alone. Last year, software engineer Jenn Wong even created a poop map of San Francisco, showing the concentration of incidents across the city. New mayor London Breed said: “There is more feces on the sidewalks than I’ve ever seen growing up here.” In a revolting recent incident, a 20lb bag of fecal waste showed up on a street in the city’s Tenderloin district.

A city covered in poop is so disgusting it has to be almost comical. But the uptick in street defecation is the symbol of a human tragedy. People aren’t pooping on the streets because they have suddenly forgotten what a bathroom is, or unlearned basic hygiene. The incidents are part of a broader failure of the city to provide for the basic needs of its citizens, and show the catastrophic, socially destructive effects of unchecked inequality.

It’s impossible to talk about street feces without talking about homelessness and housing. While there aren’t actually more homeless people than there have been in the past, the gentrification of San Francisco has had a severe effect on the homeless. Development has pushed homeless residents out of secluded spaces, and there is less and less space for them to inhabit as “places where homeless people used to sleep becoming offices and housing”, in the words of a city official. The city routinely clears away encampments, causing people to wander around the city in search of a new temporary space.
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/aug/18/san-francisco-poop-problem-inequality-homelessness




Unfortunately that’s not how it works in real life. But those are some pretty disturbing numbers, and what is the city of San Francisco doing about it? Well, numerous attempts to work out the city’s poop problem have been, well, fecal at best.

San Francisco is launching a “Poop Patrol” in an effort to clean up city streets as it struggles with the persistent issue of homelessness and a lack of public restrooms.

A team of staffers from the Department of Public Works will begin patrolling certain areas of the city to target waste with a steam cleaner, the San Francisco Chronicle reported Tuesday. The initiative comes after the city received more than 14,500 calls reporting feces on sidewalks between Jan. 1 and Aug. 13, according to the Chronicle. While a lot of the waste comes from dogs, an analysis by NBC Bay Area in February found that reports of human waste on San Francisco streets had increased in recent years.

San Francisco — one of the nation’s wealthiest metropolitan areas, where housing costs have skyrocketed — has one of the largest homeless populations in the country.
http://time.com/5368610/san-francisco-poop-patrol-problem/




But a mere poop patrol may not be enough to clean up the city’s massive and growing waste problem, which is compromising of more than just the human kind of waste. There’s other dangers to worry about if you’re wandering about the bay area.

San Francisco's streets are so filthy that at least one infectious disease expert has compared the city to some of the dirtiest slums in the world.

The NBC Bay Area Investigative Unit surveyed 153 blocks of the city in February, finding giant mounds of trash and food on the majority of streets. At least 100 discarded needles and more than 300 piles of human feces were also found in downtown San Francisco, according to the report.

San Francisco's new mayor, London Breed, had proposed adding nearly $13 million to the city's $65 million street cleaning budget over the next two years, according to NBC Bay Area.

"I will say there is more feces on the sidewalks than I've ever seen growing up here," Breed told NBC Bay Area last month. "We have to make sure people who live here, [and] sadly, people who are homeless here, that they are also held accountable for taking care of our streets. This is our home."
https://www.npr.org/2018/08/01/634626538/san-francisco-squalor-city-streets-strewn-with-trash-needles-and-human-feces




So how does the newly elected mayor of San Francisco to clean up this stinky mess? Well there’s if course been numerous proposals. But they instead may be looking at enacting a similar campaign proposed in India.

While the populist voice in San Francisco is to root out the "homeless migrants", a section of the civil society has called it a "flawed and impractical" solution. The latter have, instead, pitched for construction of mass toilets by the state to eradicate the menace.

In India, the Swachh Bharat Abhiyan launched by Prime Minister Narendra Modi in 2014 ensured that 80 million household toilets were built in the nation in the past four years. The construction cost was majorly borne by the government, and partly by the beneficiary.

The success of the scheme could be gauged by the fact that major Indian cities, including Mumbai - which has a population of over 22 million residents - have been declared "open-defecation free".

The success of Swachh Bharat Abhiyan could be a case study for the administration in San Francisco, which is struggling to handle the city's sanitation woes despite a population of 8,70,000.
https://www.latestly.com/world/human-feces-on-rise-in-san-francisco-this-us-city-needs-a-campaign-akin-to-swachh-bharat-abhiyan-332500.html




So the new mayor of San Francisco realizes that there is a truly massive poop problem that needs to be dealt with in a timely manner. And numerous attempts to come up with a simple solution to a complicated problem, have again, been fecal.

San Francisco's new mayor London Breed has lived in the city by the Bay for most of her life — and in all that time, she told a local NBC affiliate that she's never seen as much human feces piled on the sidewalks as she did during a recent stroll through the city.

"I will say there is more feces on the sidewalks than I've ever seen growing up here," Breed told NBC in a recent interview. "That is a huge problem and we are not just talking about from dogs — we're talking about from humans."

Breed's findings are a part of a broader issue affecting San Francisco in which 7,499 homeless individuals live on the city's streets without access to public restrooms and other necessary resources. Due to a variety of factors, including a lack of affordable housing and shortcomings in the mental healthcare system, the homelessness crisis in the city has resulted in drug needles, human feces and garbage riddling the streets to a degree comparable to that in some of the world's dirtiest slums.
https://www.businessinsider.com/san-francisco-mayor-london-breed-more-feces-in-streets-than-ever-2018-7




So there you have it. A problem so stinky that it cannot be corrected overnight. This has been Top 10 Investigates. Good day.




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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of Detroit! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:



My fair congregation! While we were off last week there were certain atrocities being committed at the discretion of our fellow religious zealots. So apparently I’m being told by members of my congregation that the good LAWRD’s supposedly unrelenting support of the Dark One, whose name shall not be named in my church, has us divided! Well mainly more them. But a divided church CANNOT STAND!

Leigh Valentine and Chris McDonald, who regularly host the “Faith & Freedom” program on the YourVoice America network on Sundays, appeared instead on McDonald’s own “Mc Files” program last weekend, where they declared that God will destroy former White House staffer Omarosa Manigault Newman for betraying President Trump.

McDonald claimed that the family of the late actor Michael Clarke Duncan, to whom Manigault Newman was engaged before his death in 2012, “have opened an investigation into her for misusing his money,” which he said is retribution from God for her betrayal of “God’s anointed.”

“When you go out and you try to destroy someone that God has anointed and you go out and destroy God’s appointed person, you better make sure that you know what you’re doing,” McDonald said, “because God has a way, Leigh, of putting the spotlight back on you and you bearing the cost of your own deception.”

“She has sought to destroy President Trump and now she’s going to wind up being destroyed herself,” McDonald declared. “And that should warn every one of us, we better be careful how we talk about people that God has his hand on.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/touch-not-my-anointed-chris-mcdonald-leigh-valentine-say-god-will-destroy-omarosa-for-betraying-trump/




Now really, you know what you did there. You invoked the good LAWRD’s name in vein when discussing his support of the Dark One! Now the LAWRD loves all people, this is true, this is true. You should all know this, it’s in the book! But apparently GAWD works in mysterious ways! And he also moves in mysterious ways. I know that song, sir!

Last week, Rodney Howard-Browne, a right-wing pastor and radical conspiracy theorist who laid hands on and prayed over President Trump in the Oval Office last year, released a “documentary” ostensibly about the need for a Christian awakening in America that was essentially an extended infomercial for his River Church in Tampa Bay, Florida.

In between segments promoting his church, Howard-Browne sought to terrify viewers with nightmarish scenarios about what will happen to this nation if the people do not turn back to God.

“If we have don’t have a great awakening, people are going to have a rude awakening,” he said, warning that this nation is on the verge of total economic collapse and/or at great risk of an electromagnetic pulse (EMP) attack that will destroy the nation’s electronic infrastructure and wipe out half the population.

“I’ve been inside the Congress, I’ve spoken to high-level congresspeople on the Finance Committee and they confirm what I am saying, so I’m not making this up,” Howard-Brown insisted.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/emp-attack-economic-collapse-await-u-s-absent-a-great-awakening-warns-rodney-howard-browne/




By the way how great is our visiting house worship band? Let’s give it up for them! Yes we like to change it up here a bit at the Holy Church Of The Top 10. But apparently even GAWD showed up to tell people that the Dark One wouldn’t be elected! Yes, this was a thing that happened apparently!

Televangelist Billye Brim appeared on “The Jim Bakker Show” today, where she claimed that Jesus had told a former-Muslim friend of hers weeks before the 2016 election that Donald Trump would become president.

Brim said that her friend “Max,” who had been born a Muslim but converted to Christianity after receiving multiple visitations from Christ, called her in September 2016 to tell her that he had been visited by Jesus “who told him that Donald Trump was going to be president.”

“In September, he called me and he said, ‘Jesus appeared to me and he told me that Donald Trump is going to be president of the United States and that He has been preparing him, that he wasn’t ready in 2012, but He had him prepared and he’s ready now,'” Brim said. “And Jesus said to him, ‘He’s closer to me than you know.’ And Jesus said to him, ‘I want him to be president for these reasons: To bless America, to bless Israel, and to bless Jerusalem, but he must have prayer like never before.'”

Brim said that she had been asked to participate in the election night broadcast that was produced by Kenneth Copeland Ministries and so she called Max before her appearance to get some insights into what Jesus was saying about the election.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/jesus-told-billye-brims-ex-muslim-friend-that-trump-would-become-president/




That is a good question, JAYSUS!!! I mean while on the subject of division, do we really need to be reminded that those who don’t support the Dark One need an exorcism? I mean that’s especially cruel to those being exorcised!

Religious Right activist and former Colorado state legislator Gordon Klingenschmitt said on a recent episode of his “Pray In Jesus Name” program that liberals who are suffering from “Trump Derangement Syndrome” are in need of an exorcism.

As Klingenschmitt sees it, since President Trump is being used by God, those who oppose him must be controlled by demons.

“I’m sure those who suffer from Trump Derangement Syndrome look at the president and say, ‘He must be demonized because he makes me feel so anxious inside,'” Klingenschmitt explained. “But, again, these are people who are deranged, so are they properly discerning the evil spirit inside of President Trump? No. Because of their derangement, because of the demons inside them, they project their anxiety on to someone else who might be causing their anxiety. But it’s not inside the president—if anything, he might be influenced by the spirit of God sometimes—the demon is inside of those who welcome this fear and this anxiety.”

“So if God didn’t give you a spirit of fear and anxiety and derangement, but you’re feeling this spirit of fear and anxiety and derangement inside of you, is that coming from God?” he asked. “No, it’s coming from the devil and the demonic spirit of fear inside of these people who have Trump Derangement Syndrome may require an exorcism.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/gordon-klingenschmit-liberals-who-have-trump-derangement-syndrome-may-require-an-exorcism/




There you have it folks! I mean why attempt to bridge the gap when you can simply exorcise their DAYMONS away? Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:





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[font size="8"]This Fucking Guy: Lance Wallnau & Rick Wiles
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It’s time for:



So ultra far right insane propaganda and conspiracy theories have been creeping up and popping up in literally every aspect of our lives now. That’s just the culture we live in. But there’s not one but two guys who are smoking the bad Covfefe 24 hours a day. I’ll start with this fucking guy – Lance Wallnau. And this fucking guy is certifiably batshit crazy, he cooks up more insane right wing theories than Alex Jones ever would or could! Like here’s a perfect example:
Right-wing preacher Lance Wallnau streamed a video on Periscope last night in which he asserted that millions of Americans are too afraid to admit that they support President Trump, which he likened directly to the Jews in the Bible who “all knew” that Jesus Christ was the Messiah and were too afraid to admit it.

“I’m just fed up with the fact that believers have to operate like the Jewish people did,” he said. “They all knew Jesus was the Messiah but nobody actually identified with him for fear of being put out of the synagogue. I mean, Donald Trump is that for me; you’ve got 50 million people that voted for him and you wouldn’t know where they are.”

Wallnau lamented that too many people are afraid of upsetting the “moronic elites who are progressively antagonistic to Donald Trump” to admit that they support the president, but predicted that millions of these voters will turn out in the midterms to support Republicans, resulting in “the first election where the 30 or so seats that are supposed to be lost don’t get lost.”

“In Hollywood and in the entertainment circles, conservatives and Christians cannot openly acknowledge their values and beliefs for fear of being put out of the synagogue,” Wallnau said. “How is this not like Israel at the time when Jesus was here? It’s exactly like that.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/lance-wallnau-people-afraid-to-support-trump-are-exactly-like-jews-afraid-to-admit-jesus-was-the-messiah/




There you have it – he literally just compared Trump supporters to Jews in the holocaust. And hey when racist shitbags start getting executed in the streets, then you can have a reason to complain. Until then, shut the fuck up! Thank you Detroit! Lance is so off the wall batshit crazy that he actually thought that Unite The Right II – the neo Nazi rally in DC last week – was a false flag!

Right-wing preacher Lance Wallnau posted a video on his Facebook page on Saturday, warning that the planned Unite The Right 2 rally in Washington, D.C., was really a left-wing front operation designed to demonize conservatives because “you can’t find white supremacists” in America today.

“These are paid actors,” Wallnau said. “The gift that the left wants is white supremacists and to link it with conservatives because there are no conservative white supremacists. That’s all a fiction.”

“If you really want to take down Donald Trump, to destroy what God’s doing in America, keep dividing people with hate, divide them with race, try to get Trump painted as a racist when he’s not,” Wallnau added, “they’re gonna come back at him with racism.”

Wallnau insisted that Jason Kessler, the organizer of the Unite The Right rallies, is really “a socialist/Marxist tool of the Obama administration to organize opposition” to Trump.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/lance-wallnau-unite-the-right-was-a-left-wing-false-flag/




Really? The Nazis were paid actors? So who’s paying them? Oh wait, don’t tell me! It was that dirty George Soros! I hear he has deep pockets. And his insurance benefits are pretty good too. As if fucking with people like Lance Wallnau wasn’t enough, there’s this fucking guy, Rick Wiles. Maybe Lance and Rick can cohost a show together – Batshit Crazy and Batshit Crazier! Oh wait, he doesn’t like conspiracy theorists. Except when he is one.

Rick Wiles is an End Times broadcaster and a truly unhinged right-wing conspiracy theorist who believes, among other things, that the Las Vegas massacre was carried out a top secret death squad that answers to the secret “a gay/lesbian Nazi regime” that controls America.

One would think that someone holding such views would be a fan of another equally unhinged right-wing conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, but apparently that is not the case, as Wiles used his “TruNews” television program on Tuesday to insist that “every Christian should disavow Alex Jones” because he is “mentally unstable” and/or demon-possessed.

Wiles was alarmed by a video of Jones going off on a snarling rant against CNN’s Brian Stelter earlier this year and warned that Jones is either demon-possessed or else a deep state “plant” designed to give the government justification to strip conservatives of their First and Second Amendment rights by making them all look insane.

“You need to be shocked by what this guy is saying and doing,” Wiles said. “Every Christian should disavow Alex Jones. You should disavow him until he repents and, quite frankly, until he is delivered.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/rick-wiles-every-christian-should-disavow-alex-jones/




Yeah probably. So Rick Wiles is a conspiracy theorist who doesn’t like conspiracy theorists. Is that the 2018 version of Dadaism? Just crazy against crazy? But apparently it’s all a big lie according to Rick. It’s all the deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep state folks!

To say that End Times broadcaster Rick Wiles is a right-wing conspiracy theorist would be a massive understatement, considering that he believes, among other things, that:

Rachel Maddow recently delivered a secret signal to leftist activists to storm the White House and decapitate President Trump and his family;
Liberal activists will begin killing Republicans before the midterm elections in preparation for civil war;
The government is creating soulless super soldiers and flesh-eating robots;
The Las Vegas massacre was carried out by a gay/lesbian Nazi regime;
A secret government goon squad is beating up politicians, murdered the late Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, and is carrying out mass shootings in order to justify implementing gun control.

Wiles also repeatedly asserted that Barack Obama was literally a demon (and likely the Antichrist) who intended to seize the homes of conservatives and give them to immigrants, intentionally unleash the Ebola virus on the nation in order to round up conservatives, and would permanently seize power in 2016.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/its-a-big-lie-rick-wiles-says-qanon-is-a-deep-state-misinformation-campaign/


There you have it, that’s Lance Wallnau and Rick Wiles. This week’s:




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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Detroit let’s hit it!



We were originally going to do “I Need A Drink” but holy crap we had some unbelievable ones this week and we got to showcase them for you. I want to start with this story out of Iowa, where if you’re going to rob a convenience store, maybe you might want to do that thing that planes encourage you to do and that is check all your surroundings to make sure you have all your personal belongings.

Rodney A. Harderman, 53, of 333 W. 17th St., No. 24, was arrested at 1:20 a.m. today at his residence on a warrant charging second-degree robbery and charges of possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia. He is scheduled to make an appearance this morning in Iowa District Court of Dubuque County.

According to court documents, Dubuque police responded to a robbery at Beecher's Beverage, 1691 Asbury Road. The clerk, Anne Mohammed, said a man came into the store with a green bag at about 4 p.m. Thursday and asked about the prices for Grey Goose vodka.

Mohammed told the man to leave the bag at the counter while he shopped, documents said. The man grabbed two bottles of Grey Goose, worth $87.98 total, and walked out without paying. Mohammed told police that he chased the man and grabbed his shirt, then the man brandished a 10-inch knife and said, "I don't want to go to jail."

Documents said the man gave Mohammed one of the bottles back and fled the area. Authorities searching the store found a prescription bottle with Harderman's name on it in the green bag he left behind. Police confirmed with a photo of Harderman that he was the one who robbed the store.
http://www.telegraphherald.com/news/tri-state/article_09d277cb-0fa5-52f1-b3b5-4dc23cd40c84.html




Next up – we’re going to the state of Maryland. I really bet you thought I was going to say Florida didn’t you? Ha! And you think you’re so smart! Well you know the old saying, as our former president George W. Bush once put it, “fool me once, shame on you, fool me, well, you won’t get fooled again.” And yeah if you’re going out on a bender you might want to keep those words in mind!

The same Maryland woman was arrested twice on the same day by the same state trooper on the same charge: driving under the influence, the Maryland state police said.

In fact, the state police said both arrests were made within 20 minutes on Saturday morning.

Matters began shortly after midnight, according to a statement issued Tuesday by the state police, as the trooper was on patrol in the area of Route 40 in Rosedale, Md. The area is just east of Baltimore City. The trooper saw a vehicle exceeding the speed limit and passing on a shoulder, the police said.

The vehicle was stopped. Its driver was taken into custody, and brought to a Baltimore County police station, the police said. After processing, the police said, she was released to another driver.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/public-safety/driver-arrested-twice-on-same-day-on-dui-charge-md-state-police-say/2018/08/15/1198547c-a04b-11e8-83d2-70203b8d7b44_story.html?noredirect=on&utm_term=.0e0e31146114&wpisrc=nl_buzz&wpmm=1




Yeah maybe don’t do that! Next up yes we are going to America’s most penis shaped state of Florida for this next batch! Yeah you know we’re doing a show in Orlando in November so we might want to watch what we say, but apparently Florida loves Florida Man. But this story in this case is a woman who is channeling her inner Ricky Bobby:

A Florida woman was arrested after she allegedly streaked through a public park earlier this week. When cops managed to chase her down, she had quite the excuse, saying she was running away from a “giant spider” that she thought was on her. Oh, she also allegedly admitted to doing a whole bunch of drugs.

Police said in an arrest report that Danielle Teeples was “acting erratically and rubbing her hair and breasts while screaming and running between two trees,” at approximately 2:15 Sunday afternoon. When they apprehended her, she wouldn’t put her clothes back on right away, cops said, according to local station WFTS.

Cops didn’t mention seeing any spiders or other bugs of abnormal size, but they did say that Teeples admitted to recently partaking in crack cocaine, spice, and crystal meth. Use of spice, also known as synthetic marijuana, has been known to result in bizarre reactions, ranging from “zombie-like” behavior to paranoia and hallucinations.

They arrested her for exposure of sexual organs, a first-degree misdemeanor punishable by up to a year in jail. Teeples, who is 40 years old, was booked at the Pinnelas County Jail. According to Pinnelas County court records, she has an extensive criminal record going back to 2001, including arrests on drug and alcohol-related charges.

https://lawandcrime.com/crazy/florida-woman-runs-naked-because-of-giant-spider-then-admits-to-crystal-meth-use-cops-say/




Next up – sticking with the Sunshine State or America’s penis, we go to the city of Clearwater, Florida for this story. Kobe Japanese Steakhouse is known for fine Japanese steak and seafood, but one thing they’re not particularly known for is pole dancing.

Meet James Dylan Jordan.

A married couple was enjoying a Sunday evening out at a Japanese steakhouse when a tipsy Jordan, 24, “began to undress and dance erotically in front of” the female half of the duo, Florida police report.

Distressed by Jordan’s impromptu striptease, Jami Carpenter (who was accompanied by her husband Christopher) advised Jordan to leave the Kobe Japanese Steakhouse in Clearwater. In response, Jordan “became belligerent and began calling her fat” and threatened to fight her spouse.

Jordan was subsequently arrested by a Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office deputy for disorderly conduct in an establishment, a misdemeanor. He was freed from the local jail after posting $150 bond. Jordan’s rap sheet includes multiple convictions for possession, sale, and trafficking of narcotics (cocaine and Oxycodone).
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/clearwater/kobe-steakhouse-discon-837501




Finally this week for People Are Dumb – we go to my home state of California for this one. Apparently this uber religious crook doesn’t quite get the concept of “Thou Shalt Not Steal”:

WICHITA FALLS, TX -- A California man accused of trying to steal several items from a local Walmart reportedly returned to the scene to retrieve his Bible.

Joshua Jeroma Wilhoit, 27, of Dana Point, Calif., was arrested and charged with theft of property valued at more than $100 but less than $750 – a Class B misdemeanor.

-snip-

The reporting party said a male suspect left the store wearing a black long-sleeve shirt and black shorts.

The man returned while police were en route and was trying to grab an item from a bag of items he allegedly had attempted to steal.

He was able to get by the reporting party to retrieve his Bible and left toward Panda Express.

Read more: https://www.timesrecordnews.com/story/news/crime/2018/08/09/california-man-accused-stealing-wichita-falls-walmart-goes-back-his-bible/947698002/




This has been this week for People Are Dumb!




[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Deep State Diaries Episode 9: The Department Of Justice
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It’s time for episode 9 of Deep State Diaries. Yes we’re touring the 24 branches and services that make up the United States government. Everything from the FBI to the IRS to the Pentagon to the CIA to the DPW to the DVA to parks and recreation and all branches and services in between. Of course if you’re here you probably already know more about our government and how it works than your average Fox News loving Trump supporter does. So that’s what this segment is going to address. We are going to do a deep dive into all that makes the United States the United States. Because we here at the Top 10 love to educate as well as entertain. Because we care.

[font size="6"]The Department Of Justice[/font]




So our journey through the many branches and services that make up the Deep State, we of course have to have to talk about how our criminal justice system is handled. Of course over the years you’ve probably heard of some of the more horrifying aspects of the system, like our for profit prisons that have treated its’ members like free slave labor. Or you might have heard about how elected corrupt local justices are in bringing about good old fashioned fire and brimstone punishments to the masses to your city! But what does the Department Of Justice actually do? We’re going to explore that angle. Yes this is the branch of the government that is currently being led by our Attorney General, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III. As if you couldn’t get a more pretentious name than that.

During my 25 years as a federal prosecutor at the U.S. Department of Justice, I wore my work as a badge of pride.

I felt privileged to be entrusted with some of the most significant criminal investigations and prosecutions that came out of DOJ during my tenure with the federal government.

I also felt honored that DOJ recognized and appreciated my commitment to public service. On two separate occasions I was flown to Washington and personally handed an award by the then-attorney general for my work in the prosecution of international drug organizations, violent criminals, and organized crime. There are three cases on the DOJ special operations division website that represent shining examples of the department’s best efforts at stemming complex criminal activities in the United States. To this day, a case of mine is first on that list.
It was a privilege

The other assistant U.S. attorneys and federal law enforcement agents I worked with were not only my colleagues, but many became my friends. My daily motivation was simple: The work I did took bad people off the streets and made the lives of good people safer and more secure.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/commentary/ct-perspec-doj-jeff-sessions-doj-embarrassment-lock-her-up-chant-0729-story.html#




Yes so Sessions has turned the once smooth running machine into a giant clusterfuck of a cesspool. Whatever that means, I don’t know. But one thing we do know – this is one branch of the government that conservatives have been fucking with for a very long time. And don’t question their integrity.

As a former longtime federal prosecutor, Steve Dettelbach said he's befuddled by the recent incessant conservative criticism of Justice Department leaders.

"We used to joke that whenever you got in an FBI car, as a young prosecutor, that every car came automatically pre-programmed with the radio set to Rush Limbaugh," said Dettelbach, who resigned in 2016 as the U.S. Attorney for Northern Ohio, and who's now running for Ohio attorney general as a Democrat. "These are not left-wing people."

Take Rod Rosenstein, the current deputy U.S. Attorney General, he said. Dettelbach started out as a young prosecutor working with Rostenstein, whom Ohio U.S. Rep. Jim Jordan and other House conservatives recently filed articles of impeachment against as an outgrowth of Rosenstein's role overseeing the special counsel investigation into Russian meddling in the 2016 election.
https://www.cleveland.com/open/index.ssf/2018/08/steve_dettelbach_attacking_the.html




So the thing is don’t attack the people who are trying to defend you. That’s not cool. But that’s what Trump and his anti government form of government are doing – they’re attacking the very foundations that built this country. And look at what happened to guys like Rod Rosenstein. They’re just doing their jobs. But of course even they can’t police Trump.

It isn’t every day that the Department of Justice acknowledges formally that the president of the United States lied in a speech to Congress. But that’s how I read a letter I received a few days ago from the department’s Office of Information Policy in connection with one of my Freedom of Information Act suits against the department.

No, the Justice Department letter does not come out and say what it clearly means: that President Trump, early in his tenure, was untruthful both about the role of foreigners in terrorism and terrorism-related crimes and about Justice Department data on the subject.

But that is what the letter says if you read between the lines.

To understand the significance of this letter, let’s go back to Trump’s first address to Congress, in February 2017. The new president made the striking claim quoted above: “According to data provided by the Department of Justice, the vast majority of individuals convicted of terrorism and terrorism-related offenses since 9/11 came here from outside of our country.”
https://www.lawfareblog.com/justice-department-finds-no-responsive-records-support-trump-speech




Thankfully there aren’t too many Lionel Hutz’ and Barry Zuckercorn’s of the world at least as far as we know here at the Top 10. So what’s the DOJ’s involvement in the Trump administration? Well at least in all the madness about deportations they got one right!

WASHINGTON (Circa) — The deportation of 95-year-old Nazi camp guard Jakiw Palij Monday was a significant development in the ongoing effort to rectify the errors that may have let thousands of war criminals flood into the United States. in the wake of World War II, according to the former director of the Department of Justice office designated with handling those cases.

“The Holocaust was the greatest crime in history and there’s no point at which we can say, ‘Okay, let’s just forget about it,’” said Allan Ryan, who served as the first director of the Department of Justice Office of Special Investigations from 1980 to 1983 and is now an attorney at Harvard University.

This is the first deportation of a suspected Nazi since John Demjanjuk was sent back to Germany in 2009. He was prosecuted there for being an accessory to 28,000 murders, but he died while appealing his conviction.
https://kval.com/news/nation-world/doj-official-nazi-deportation-sends-message-of-deterrence-on-human-rights-crimes




[font size="6"]Score Card [/font]

Overall importance: C
How Things Are Going: B
Likely hood To Survive: B

Overall: B-

[font size="6"]Next Week [/font]

This is going to be a fun one – we are going to explore how our motor vehicles are monitored as we look at the DMV! Someone call Patty & Selma!


[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Rebelution[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen we’re getting some reggae up in this piece! Yeah cue the reggaeton horn. My next guest is a great reggae band from California, their latest album is called “Free Rein”. You can see them August 31st at the Dry Diggings Festival in Placerville, California and October 5th in Maui. Playing their song “Celebrate” give it up for Rebelution!




Detroit, love you guys! We had a great time this week! We are off to Minneapolis next! See you next week!

Credits

Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Renton Theater, Detroit, MI
Special Thanks To: Renton Theater Management
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: Bethel Church Band, Sterling Heights, MI
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