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Wed Jul 18, 2018, 04:20 PM

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #5-5: Diary Of A Wimpy Trump: Nyet Rules! Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #5-5: Diary Of A Wimpy Trump: Nyet Rules! Edition

Ed. Note - due to a scheduling conflict at our host venue, the Top 10 will be early tonight! Enjoy!

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! What’s up New Orleans? Man we had a great time in Austin but now we are continuing this show on the road. We’re hanging out here at the lovely Café Istanbul. Man I love New Orleans food, and you guys are drunk too! For those of you at home there’s a lot of drinking going on in NOLA! You got French food, you got Cajun food, you got creole food, you got fried chicken, you got Po’Boys, and it’s really a crazy mix. Not to mention the beer, wine, and booze flow pretty freely here! Seriously I am going to get fat by the end of this trip. Well, OK… fatter, because the food here in NOLA is so damn good! Do we have time for the thing? OK so we got to talk about Blake Shelton for a minute. I love this story. So Blake was doing a show at a festival in Oregon, and he admitted that he had quite a bit to drink before the show, after all, it was Pendleton Music Whisky Festival in Oregon, so I can imagine that was flowing pretty freely backstage. But rather than apologize, Shelton actually asked fans for video of it! To which of course the social media gods provided in droves, and the even funnier thing is that Shelton blamed it on Pitbull as a joke, because why wouldn’t you? And then someone tweeted at Blake “Oh so that’s the kind of show you put on? For people who spend their hard earned dollars for you to show up drunk?” to which Blake responded “Oh sorry ma’am, this account is for people with a sense of humor! No cry baby tweets! Try again tomorrow!”. Ah, that was the best part. Got to love it when stars have a sense of humor about themselves! OK enough of the intro. We got a lot of idiocy to cover this week. But first I got to play this clip from Jim Jefferies where he destroys the now former head of the EPA, Scott Pruitt:

There is so much idiocy to cover this week, where do we start? How about we start in the first slot with recapping the insane interview that was the Congressional hearings of Peter Strzok (1). Holy crap that was insane. In the second slot this week is Donald Trump (2) and we’re going to recap his visit to the UK because it is quite frankly one of the most insane things ever, and the amount of protestors there was about 3 Trump inaugurations. In the third slot this week is also Donald Trump, and once again, the trouble making kid gets sent to the principal’s office for a third time in another episode of Diary Of A Wimpy Trump: Nyet Rules! (3). In the fourth slot this week we have some more “Profiles In #Civility” to tell you about which includes a lot of racism and Trump supporters being, well, Trump supporters. In the fifth slot this week is our weekly arm chair investigative piece Top 10 Investigates (5) and this week we’re going to tackle the tricky subject of Micro Cheating (5) – are you guilty of it? Spoiler alert! Probably! And in the sixth seed is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” and this week our resident pastor is going to tell you some of the more batshit crazy reactions to the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh coming from the Christian right. At number 7 is the CEO of Papa John’s Pizza, John Schnatter (7) and we’re going to ask: “Papa John’s Pizza: How Is This Still A Thing?”. In the 8th slot this week is the Alt Right (8) and we’ve got a lot of news to cover including the Proud Boys attracting an unruly crowd in Los Angeles, while Alex Jones is the go to guy on internet censorship. Yes, really. And in the number 9 (NEIN!) slot this week we have a new installment of “I Need A Drink” and this week we’re going to get drunk and discuss the end of Blockbuster Video. No, for real this time! Finally this week we’ve got a new edition of Deep State Diaries and this week we’re going to show you the inner workings of the food industry by exploring the US Department Of Agriculture (USDA) and we’re here to tell you this list is USDA certified fresh! Plus we’ve got some live music for you from San Diego’s Slightly Stoopid! They have a great new album called “Everyday Life Everyday People” that you should really check out. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]The Peter Strzok Hearing
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OK so we need to do some flashbacks here for a minute. You know that thing they do in movies that catches the audience up to speed on what was previously going on with the characters. So remember back during the 2016 election when FBI agent Peter Strzok sent text messages proclaiming that Trump was going down in the November general election? Well that didn’t happen. Now this week, our right wing Congress, in its’ infinite wisdom, decided to investigate these texts last week. Because you know, there’s nothing else pressing at the moment.

Last week, FBI agent Peter Strzok sat before two House committees for 10 contentious hours as Republican lawmakers accused him of partisan bias in his work in the FBI. Observers of all political stripes — Republican, Democrat, neither — derided the hearings as a “made-for-TV spectacle” rather than a serious congressional inquiry. Even Rep. Trey Gowdy (R-S.C.), the chairman of the House Oversight Committee — well known for conducting long-running hearings into the 2012 attack on a U.S. compound in Benghazi — lamented on “Face the Nation” that the hearings are a “circus” and a “freak show.”

And yet sensationalist congressional hearings are on the rise. Why?

The answer, in part, is that control of Congress shifts back and forth much more frequently than in the past — and so parties now focus on party branding and messaging as much as on lawmaking. As a result, committees spend a rising share of taxpayer funds on communications staffers at the expense of fewer aides with policy or investigatory responsibilities. No surprise, then, that recent investigations seem more like the circus than genuine policy or oversight work.

Yup – Congress is fast becoming a literal 3 ring circus. Can’t wait for the lions, tigers, bears, and bearded lady to show up! But this entire thing was easily a category 5 shit storm. Could easily venture into category 6, where you will see thunder and lightning accompany said shit! But of course you know he had to weigh in!
On the verge of his meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin, US President Donald Trump railed against the Russia investigation and embattled FBI agent Peter Strzok, calling the agent "a disgrace to our country" and saying the probe "hurts our relationship with Russia."
Asked about the tone he expects at his upcoming summit with Russian President Vladimir Putin, Trump shifted topics, saying in a CBS News interview excerpt that "we're greatly hampered by this whole witch hunt that's going in the United States."
Trump also said he watched Strzok's House testimony last week. The President said Strzok, who had sent texts critical of Trump, was "a disgrace to our country" and "a disgrace to the FBI."
"I thought (Strzok's testimony) was an absolute disgrace. Where he wants to do things against me before I was even, I guess before I was even the candidate. It was a disgrace," Trump said during the interview at his resort in Turnberry, Scotland. "And then he lied about it. And you know, talking about shutting it down and 'we, we.' And he says, 'Oh, I meant the American people' all of a sudden, you know, he came up with excuses, I guess, given to a lawyer, but everybody laughed at it."

Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. So the guy who sent a couple of text messages is a disgrace? This fucking president has been a national disgrace!!! Thank you, New Orleans! But we’re still not done with this story. This whole administration so far has been like peeling an onion – each layer reveals something new, and when it does, it stinks, and you’re more likely to cry as a result.

Embattled FBI agent Peter Strzok told lawmakers Wednesday in a marathon, closed-door interview that the anti-Trump text messages he exchanged with an FBI lawyer were part of an "intimate" conversation and he did not intend to act on any of the missives, according to Democrats in the meeting.
But Republicans argued that Strzok's claims about the messages after the fact were simply not credible, and one lawmaker claimed to have learned new information from his interview Tuesday with the House Oversight and Judiciary Committees.
Strzok's interview -- which stretched more than 11 hours and included unclassified and classified sessions -- was just the latest instance where Republicans and Democrats came away with dueling assessments over the FBI's actions during the 2016 election.
Wednesday's interview was the first chance for Congress to grill the FBI agent at the center of the controversy over the FBI's handling of its investigations into Hillary Clinton and Russia.

You know what guys, who hurt you? I don’t think that question has been asked enough about this administration. Who hurt them? I could talk about this hearing all day but I will tell you my favorite part of this whole thing. So according to New York representative Hakeem Jeffries, well.. .

Rep. Jefferies Blasts ‘Kangaroo Court’ Strzok Hearing: Not Worthy of an Ace Ventura Investigation (Mediaite)

Adding to mounting backlash from some lawmakers against criticism of Peter Strzok, Rep. Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY 8th District) railed against Thursday’s hearing about the former FBI agent’s work, saying it wasn’t even worth the an investigation by fictional pet detective Ace Ventura.

“This investigation is a joke. It’s a fraud,” Jeffries said. “This hearing is a kangaroo court. It is a three-ring circus. It is not even meritorious of an investigation by Ace Ventura pet detective, let alone 75 members of the United States Congress.”

Jeffries contended the hearing was nothing but a distraction tactic to divert attention from Special Counsel Robert Mueller‘s investigation into President Donald Trump‘s campaign, and possible collusion with Russia during the 2016 election.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Well, Trump didn’t save the noble queen. Instead, he snubbed her. Of course unless you’re living under a rock, you know last week that Trump went to England, and turned Picadilly Circus into an actual circus, because that’s what he does everywhere he goes. In fact the Top 10 is going to London on December 12th at the 99 Club, Leicester Square. Just thought I’d plug that for ya. But getting back on topic, we got to talk about what happened when Trump met the Queen.

No one decent wants to watch a trapped animal endless in agony. So it was a relief this morning to find the prime minister relishing the sort of mischievous delight to which she’s been a stranger since she ran through a field of wheat.

If only for a couple of seconds, the pulverising stresses of her situation melted away as she revealed to Andrew Marr that Donald Trump’s advice, in the vexatious matter of Brexit, was to sue the EU.

For all its mesmerisingly imbecility, we probably should have guessed. Litigation has been such a reflex response to the thwarting of his will for so long that his unofficial signature tune is Johnny Cash’s “A Boy Named Sue”.

And on that bombshell, the comic portion of Trump’s diplomatic tour ended. In a few frantic days, he insulted May about Brexit, pushed Boris Johnson’s outlandish claim to replace her; insulted the leaders of Nato states about low defence spending; praised the Queen as beautiful “inside and out” during an outpouring of gibberish to Piers Morgan; claimed that many protesters gathered at his golf course were protesting for him ... and far too much more to be catalogued in such a limited space.

Right. I swear even the best sitcom writers on the planet couldn’t make up a character as crazy as Donald J. Trump is. He literally does the wrong answer for everything. You could ask him “where do babies come from?”. He’d answer “pancakes?”. You could ask him what color the sky is. He’d answer “Yellow?”. But the thing is you know what Britons really saw? They didn’t see the President Of The United States. They saw an infomercial.

GLASGOW — On Monday, President Trump will have a closely watched meeting with President Vladimir V. Putin of Russia, just days after the announcement that 12 Russian military intelligence officers had been indicted on charges of hacking Democratic organizations in an effort to affect the 2016 election.

But first, a bit of golf.

Mr. Trump was shielded from members of the American news media who traveled with him here to Trump Turnberry, the luxury Scottish resort where he is staying — but not from British journalists who captured protesters on a nearby beach shouting, “No Trump, no K.K.K., no racist U.S.A.” as he teed off on Saturday.

The group chanted across windswept grasslands and a protective buffer of dozens of law enforcement officials, some of them on horseback. According to footage captured by the BBC, the president appeared to wave at the crowd before turning back to his golf game.

But wait! There’s more! Did you see that previous article that Trump took a golf cart out on one of the world’s oldest and most traditional golf courses? Seriously, that guy is such a fat lazy fuck that he couldn’t even walk that golf course. But the sad thing is if you’re American and you plan on visiting the UK or living there any time soon, Trump just fucked things up.

President Donald Trump's catastrophic visit to Britain began with a political scandal of his own creation. In an interview with the Sun, a British tabloid, the US president slammed the British prime minister, Theresa May, and supported her rival. He criticised her conduct of Brexit, the most contentious issue in British politics, and used inflammatory language about immigration, the second-most-contentious issue in British politics.

The story appeared just as Ms May was hosting a black-tie dinner for him at Blenheim Palace. Mr Trump then took it all back, dismissing the journalists who had accurately reported his words as "fake news" and offering some flabby support for Ms May. In response, the Sun published the full audio recording of the interview online - and loudly supported its original story with the front-page headline "FAKE SCHMOOZE."

The interview seemed like a diplomatic fumble. But it was not. All of the views Mr Trump expressed were in fact consistent with the previous actions of his administration. John Bolton, Mr Trump's national security adviser, has recently met with pro-Brexit members of Parliament - in effect, a party within the Conservative Party - to ask how he could help their cause. Behind the scenes, Mr Trump's team has lobbied Britain on behalf of Tommy Robinson, a violent white nationalist and co-founder of the fringe English Defence League, who is now in prison.

Thank you Susie. My sentiments exactly! I mean even the Royals are pissed at Trump. William and Harry didn’t even come to Trump’s visit at the Palace. I mean really remember when we used to have a president that was loved and respected around the world? I miss those times!

Prince Charles and Prince William refused to meet Donald Trump during his four-day visit to Britain, according to reports.

The royals, who are first and second in line to the throne, declined to take part in the trip and left the Queen to meet the US President alone, it is claimed.

Instead, the Prince of Wales, 69, attended a board meeting at Highgrove and an event with Gloucestershire Police while the Duke of Cambridge, 36, played in a charity polo match.

“This business of Prince Charles and Prince William not being there for the Trump visit was a snub,” an insider told the Sunday Times.

“They simply refused to attend. It’s a very, very unusual thing for the Queen to be there on her own.”

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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So Trump’s trip to England was a swing and a miss. But now we go to Helsinki where Trump takes the shit storm with him to meet the real president of the United States – Vladimir Putin! Yes, which means once again we have an episode of Diary Of A Wimpy Trump. Thank you graphics department! Seriously every time Trump meets with Putin I feel like he’s the trouble making kid who repeatedly gets sent to the principal’s office. Trump’s got some ‘splainin to do!

US President Donald Trump, in a stunning rebuke of the US intelligence community, declined on Monday to endorse the US government's assessment that Russia interfered in the 2016 presidential election, saying he doesn't "see any reason why" Russia would be responsible.
Instead, Trump -- standing alongside Russian President Vladimir Putin -- touted Putin's vigorous denial and pivoted to complaining about the Democratic National Committee's server and missing emails from Hillary Clinton's personal account.

"I have great confidence in my intelligence people, but I will tell you that President Putin was extremely strong and powerful in his denial today," Trump said during a joint news conference after he spent about two hours in a room alone with Putin, save for a pair of interpreters.
Trump's statements amounted to an unprecedented refusal by a US president to believe his own intelligence agencies over the word of a foreign adversary and drew swift condemnation from across the partisan divide.


Oh… oh! Trump’s got some ‘splainin to do! I mean while he bemoans NFL players for disrespecting the flag, Trump took a giant shit on it! And I mean come on, given his diet, that shit will definitely stink up the joint! Thank you, New Orleans! Ah, I’ll drink to that! But you know who won? It aint Trump, that’s for sure!

Russia may have already won the first point in the historic summit between US President Donald Trump and Russian President Vladimir Putin — before the two leaders even shook hands.

About four hours before the meeting in Helsinki was set to begin on Monday, Trump tweeted that “Our relationship with Russia has NEVER been worse thanks to many years of U.S. foolishness and stupidity and now, the Rigged Witch Hunt!” — referring to special counsel Robert Mueller’s probe into possible Trump campaign collusion during the 2016 presidential election.

The main point of his message was clear: America is to blame for bad Washington-Moscow relations, not the Kremlin. And 40 minutes before the meeting, Russia’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs responded to Trump’s tweet with two words: “We agree.”

That’s stunning. Trump and Russia are now — very publicly — on the same page about why they believe ties between the two countries are so poor. That could serve as a huge propaganda win for Russia, which has spent decades bashing the US for Moscow’s economic and political problems.

That graphic always kills me by the way! So Trump not only swang and missed hard, he also admitted that yeah, he might have committed some light treason. Or maybe it’s some full on, full bore complete treason!

Following a day of discussions between Presidents Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin in Helsinki, Finland, Mr. Trump left Monday's summit neglecting to hold Putin accountable for Russia's role in interfering in the 2016 presidential election -- saving most of his criticism for America itself.

"I hold both countries responsible. I think that the United States has been foolish. I think that we've all been foolish. We should have had this dialogue a long time ago, a long time, frankly, before I got to office," Mr. Trump said during a joint press conference with Putin.

Offered multiple chances to denounce Russia's actions, Mr. Trump instead placed blame on the FBI and said that he had "confidence" in both parties -- the intelligence community and Russia.

"All I can do is ask the question - my people came to me, Dan Coats came to me and some others, they said they think it's Russia. I have President Putin he just said it's not Russia. I will say this, I don't see any reason why it would be but I really want to see the server but, I have confidence in both parties," Mr. Trump said.


You know this whole meeting is like as if Trump is the unruly middle school student who constantly gets sent to the principal’s office. So this is like those movies Diary Of A Wimpy Kid, and this is Diary Of A Wimpy Trump. For the sake of subtitling, let’s call it “Diary Of A Wimpy Trump: Nyet Rules!”. Thank you graphics department! So what’s it going to take to charge Trump with treason, guys? Or are you all in on it?

Shortly afterwards, Brennan appeared on MSNBC to demand that Trump officials resign in protest. Brennan has long been a vocal opponent of Trump, and has been one of the loudest voices supporting the unproven theory that the Trump campaign colluded with Russia in the run-up to the 2016 election.

Trump has accused Brennan of knowingly using a dossier of salacious and false allegations against him (Trump) to jump-start Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s ongoing and fruitless ‘Russiagate’ probe. Trump said that Brennan “disgraced himself...and the entire Intelligence Community” in doing so.

At the conference, Trump and Putin both emphatically denied accusations of collusion in the runup to the 2016 election, with Trump saying he “beat Hillary Clinton easily” without Russian help, and Putin calling the claims “nonsense” and challenging the press to show “a single fact that would prove” any collusion occurred.

Trump said that he “brought up” allegations of election-meddling with Putin, and said that Putin “may well want to address it,” but did not elaborate further on the subject.

This is insane. Trump can never claim anyone is disrespecting the flag or our country ever again if he took a giant dump on it. I mean even George Bluth is going “hey! I’m off the hook now!”. But you got to know that Russia are not our friends!

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and several other Kentucky representatives said they agree that Russia interfered in the 2016 presidential election, breaking with Donald Trump's comments after his friendly meeting with Vladimir Putin.

“As I’ve said repeatedly, the Russians are not our friends and I entirely agree with the assessment of our intelligence community," McConnell said in a statement to the Courier Journal on Monday.

Trump received immediate backlash from politicians on both sides of the aisle when he met with Russian President Putin. During the meeting, he accepted Putin's claim that the Russians did not interfere, contradicting the U.S. intelligence community's research.

"The role of the Intelligence Community is to provide the best information and fact-based assessments possible for the President and policymakers," Director of National Intelligence Dan Coats said in a statement to USA TODAY. "We have been clear in our assessments of Russian meddling in the 2016 election and their ongoing, pervasive efforts to undermine our democracy, and we will continue to provide unvarnished and objective intelligence in support of our national security."

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[font size="8"]Profiles In Civility
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Folks, last week we debuted a new segment in which we touched on the fact that despite calls for something called “civility” – something unheard of in this day and age of Trump, there are a lot of these kinds of stories that have been coming out lately. Which is mainly white people calling the cops on black people. But this week there’s just one Profile In #Civility that I want to expand on – someone famous got the cops called on them for doing the very thing they’ve done 100 times before. Yup, that’s right, we have to talk about it!

Adult film star Stormy Daniels, who is involved in an ongoing legal dispute with President Donald Trump and his lawyer Michael Cohen, was arrested early Thursday morning at a strip club in Columbus, Ohio, according to her lawyer, Michael Avenatti. Police say Daniels touched patrons while performing onstage, which is a violation of Ohio state law. She was charged on three misdemeanor counts.

Daniels, whose real name is Stephanie Clifford, posted a $6,054 bail on Thursday and was scheduled to be arraigned on Friday morning, July 13, according to court records. The charges against Daniels were subsequently dropped Thursday afternoon, according to Avenatti.

Police said undercover cops witnessed Daniels violating Ohio’s Community Defense Act. The law says that nude employees cannot touch or be touched by patrons other than family members while on the premise of a “sexually oriented” establishment where they appear on regular basis. The Columbus Dispatch found that the law is rarely enforced.

Avenatti believes that Daniels’s arrest was a part of an elaborate “sting operation.” Daniels is suing Trump for defamation following comments he made after revelations of an alleged affair between the two went public.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! So the question is – was this a political setup or not? That’s where the #Civility question comes into play. I mean come on if you go to a strip club and you don’t get motorboated, you fail at life! At least make it rain, man! Not rainman, sir! And you are at a strip club called “Sirens” you know there’s got to be cops that hang out there on a daily basis!

Ohio prosecutors dropped charges against Stormy Daniels on Thursday — hours after she was cuffed for allegedly violating an arcane state law by “smacking” an undercover cop’s face “with her bare breasts” during a performance, authorities said.

The 39-year-old porn star — who is suing President Trump in a case involving an alleged tryst — was arrested while performing at the Sirens strip club in Columbus on Wednesday night.

Less than 10 hours later, Daniels’ attorney, Michael Avenatti, tweeted the charges had been tossed “in their entirety.”

Prosecutor Joseph Gibson confirmed to the Daily News he had granted Avenatti’s motion to dismiss the charges, which were filed under Ohio’s little-enforced Community Defense Act.

Avenatti previously said his client, who was paid $130,000 by Trump’s ex-fixer Michael Cohen to keep mum about allegedly sleeping with the President in 2006, was arrested while “performing the same act she has performed across the nation at nearly a hundred strip clubs.”

Yeah… excuse me a minute… it was kind of like that! I mean really you bought the ticket, you attended the show, what did you expect was going to happen at a strip club? I mean I’ve been to a few of these in my life, I knew what to expect. But here’s where it gets weird.

Politics did not play a role in the arrest of porn actress Stormy Daniels, according to the head of the police union in Ohio’s capital city where Daniels was briefly charged with interacting too closely with patrons who turned out to be undercover police officers.

Officers applied an illegal sexual contact law indiscriminately at Sirens night club during a performance, arresting two other women in addition to Daniels, said Jason Pappas, head of the FOP Capital City Lodge #9.

“The suggestion that this is politically motivated is absolutely untrue,” Pappas said Friday.

Prosecutors on Thursday dropped charges against the porn star hours after she was accused of illegally rubbing undercover police officers’ faces against her bare breasts during her performance.

Because of course they didn’t! But they did, or did they? I mean this is the Trump administration we’re talking about here. You know somewhere there’s a kid asking their parents right now “Mommy what’s a golden shower?” or “what does grab them by the pussy mean?”. So much better than her e-mails. Back on topic this might be the strangest thing about the arrest is that it is paying attention to all the strange laws the stripping and exotic dancing community has to follow.

The recent arrest of Stormy Daniels during a performance at the Sirens gentlemen’s club in Columbus, Ohio, started with a dropped bikini top and ended with dropped charges. Undercover city detectives — some female — took it upon themselves to come to the club where Daniels was performing, tip her and a few other dancers, then arrest the women for violating local statutes that forbid contact between strip club dancers and patrons. Daniels, specifically, was cited for some brief fondling as well as drawing the detectives’ face between her breasts and shaking them. Yep, it’s exactly what it sounds like: motorboating as legally actionable offense.

In many strip clubs around the country, it’s commonplace for a dancer to offer a customer a quick hug, squeeze or cleavage snuzzle as a thank-you for a tip. (I’m so tempted to make a tit-for-tat pun right now. Stripper Jesus, stay my hand.) Whether it’s considered legal or not varies from municipality to municipality. Arbitrariness is the lay of the land. When it comes to strip club regulations, ’twas ever thus.

Upon news of Daniels’ arrest, former exotic dancer and headmistress of the New York School of Burlesque, Jo Weldon, started some rollicking threads on Twitter and Instagram inviting exotic dancers, past and present, to share the most ridiculous regulations they’ve encountered in their work.

Now all the stupidity of this arrest and the absurdity of #Civility, it’s not going to stop Stormy from performing her act, even in Ohio where the arrest took place! I mean you can’t keep a good stripper down!

Stormy Daniels, who has made headlines for her alleged affair with President Donald Trump, was arrested Wednesday night after allowing patrons of a gentleman's club touch her.

Daniels is still expected to appear at a Wayne gentleman's club in August.

Michael Avenatti, Daniel's attorney claimed the arrest in Columbus, Ohio was "politically motivated" and "reeks of desperation."

"She was arrested for allegedly allowing a customer to touch her while on stage," Avenatti later tweeted, adding: "They are devoting law enforcement resources to sting operations for this? There has to be higher priorities."

Daniels' Thursday night performance will go on as schedules despite her arrest.

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Micro Cheating
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

If you’re in a relationship, whether it’s a short term relationship or a long term relationship, or you’re married or single, you probably don’t think about the number of ways that relationship could end. But as it turns out, it could end way faster than you would think. Because as new science and research has pointed out, there’s plenty of possible ways a relationship could end. This is the new concept and phenomenon known as “micro cheating”. Here’s how this is defined.

Have you heard about the latest trendy term that's sparking quite an uproar on the Internet? It is yet another form of cheating we should all be informed about, no matter your relationship status. And while the last thing I want to be is the bearer of bad news, I encourage you to keep reading so you, too, can be well-versed on the ins and outs of micro-cheating.

So what exactly is micro-cheating?

Australian psychologist and consultant Melanie Schilling recently defined micro-cheating as "a series of seemingly small actions that indicate a person is emotionally or physically focused on someone outside their relationship."

According to Schilling, this form of infidelity essentially stems from secrecy and deception. It ultimately comes down to trivial behaviors that might indicate your partner is no longer totally committed to your relationship.

Or, as Urban Dictionary defined this term back in 2008: "when someone cheats on a partner, but just a little bit."

But is it creeping? Is it cheating? Or is it a combination of the above? Most likely it is a combination of all of the above. But you could be cheating and not know it. In fact there’s a whole list of warning signs of the possibility of micro cheating. Apparently you could be guilty of it and not know it.

It's called "micro-cheating": the small, seemingly innocuous acts of flirtation that don't necessary qualify as cheating but might be considered a little sketchy by your partner.

Many of us have experienced flirtatious relationships with friends and never acted on them sexually. Are these friendships signs of infidelity? Should you be worried if your significant other is attracted to someone else? Or could a little harmless flirtation actually be good for your relationship?

Flirtation is normal, sex therapist Tammy Nelson said. "Why shut down your natural feelings of attraction for someone just because you are in a monogamous relationship with someone else?" she asked. "You might be married, but you're not dead."

A flirty friendship could help feed the flames of your relationship, but it depends on the couple. "In some cases, flirting outside the relationship enhances the primary relationship, and in other cases, it siphons energy from the primary relationship," marriage and family therapist Nicolle Zapien explained. The key is to know your partner and to communicate about the friendship before it becomes a problem in your relationship.

This is where you might start to actually question whether or not this is a thing. Seriously, if you think about it – James Bond is a notorious micro cheater. Especially on Moneypenny. But how do you know, would you believe there are warning signs? Why yes there are warning signs!

We spend a lot of time with our colleagues. In fact, we probably spend more time with the people we work with than almost anyone else. Since you're likely also surrounded by people you have things in common with, it's not all that surprising that people fall in love at work.

Proximity is a funny thing. Research has found it takes around 200 hours for people to become close friends, because the more time you spend with someone, the more chance their positive and attractive qualities shine through. This is fine for people who are single, but if you're in a monogamous relationship and you start having feelings for someone at work, things can get messy.

In some cases, a work spouse relationship is born, where you share the trials and tribulations of the workplace with each other, have lunch together, and emotionally depend on one another. In other cases, the people involved may not have put strong boundaries in place, and they can start to behave inappropriately.

Monogamy is hard, according to Tammy Nelson, a consultant sex therapist for adult infidelity dating site Ashley Madison.

Yes, monogamy is hard, although somehow we think Ashley Madison may not be the best person to ask on this subject. That would be like asking Trump about his love of fine dining. So apparently you can subtly cheat on your partner without knowing it. Even cheating on social media is still cheating.

Cheating: it's nothing new. It's the subject of some of the most popular books, TV shows and movies in America. Media typically depicts cheating as physical affairs, but WSFA recently spoke with a relationship expert about a different kind of beast.

"Micro-cheating" is on the rise, and it's a term for a series of seemingly small actions partners can do that could have whispers of infidelity— without even being physically unfaithful. This can include flirtatiously texting or messaging another person on social media. Thanks to online dating apps like Tinder and Bumble, it’s easier to connect with others, including people in committed relationships.

Reporter Rosanna Smith talked to Montgomery counselor Sandra Segall about the dangers of micro-cheating for couples, and the signs they should look for to know their significant other is being unfaithful, but we decided to dive deeper. We wanted to know what the third party, the person being cheated with, should do in the situation.

The obvious answer is, of course, to not get involved with someone in a committed relationship, and Segall, a licensed professional counselor, said as much, advising the person to find out if the person they are talking to is in a relationship before messaging them flirtatiously or dating them. According to the Associated Press and the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 22 percent of men say that they've cheated on their significant other at least once during their marriage, and 14 percent of wives admit to it.

So apparently James Bond cheats all the time. In fact Bond cheats so much his cheats have their own cheats. It’s cheating inception. But apparently even the so-called “experts” think this is 100% grade A bullshit:

Staying up to snuff on all of the newest dating trends and terminology can be super tricky, especially when it comes to certain gray areas that can be particularly hard to universally define, like micro-cheating. Upon first hearing the phrase used, I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Even after one of my friends broke it down for me, I still found myself wondering, what is micro-cheating actually? And if it is what I think it is, is it really a legitimate form of infidelity? Well, the short answer is, it totally depends.

"Micro-cheating is inappropriate sexual flirtation via social media from someone who's already in a relationship, NYC relationship expert Susan Winter tells Elite Daily. "And, it may also be an in-person office flirtation that remains verbal, rather than physical."

However, the reason micro-cheating is not a black and white issue is because not everyone defines inappropriate behavior in the same way. Some people consider flirting with other people to be OK in certain situations as long as it doesn't turn into anything physical, or emotional. Oftentimes in relationships, partners don't take the time to specifically define behavior they would consider to be a breach of trust. According to Anita A. Chlipala, a dating expert and licensed marriage therapist, by not having conversations about what each one of us feels is or isn't OK, space is left open for a partner to make assumptions that may not be accurate.

So even the experts aren’t exactly clear on what this is. That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit

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Gather around, my fair brothers and sisters of New Orleans, it’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For the Holy Church of the Top 10 has convened and it’s our weekly duty to remind you why the holiest among us are also the most full of:

My fair congregation, something afoul is afoot! For the Dark One, whose name I dare not speak, might be getting an upgrade to his crumbling administration! Yes, for a second justice has resigned from the highest court in the land. Meaning that the religious right is salivating over the prospect that they will now have the ability to eliminate rights and freedoms that people – mainly the fairer sex – have once had, and it is not a good thing!

Religious Right leaders have joined right-wing pundits and political activists in heaping praise on Brett Kavanaugh, President Trump’s nominee to fill the Supreme Court seat left vacant by Justice Anthony Kennedy’s retirement. Many praised Trump for following through on his campaign promise to pick judges from the list that was pre-approved by the Heritage Foundation and Federalist Society, which puts Americans’ access to health care, women’s ability to choose safe and legal abortion, and legal equality for LGBTQ Americans at risk.

Not surprisingly, the Heritage Foundation’s John Malcolm and Elizabeth Slattery called the choice “another home run” by Trump. Among other things, they praised a dissent in which Kavanaugh suggested that the Supreme Court may want to reconsider its holding in a 1935 case that upheld the constitutionality of independent agencies. They also defended Kavanaugh from a few right-wing critics who said he has not been aggressive enough in promoting the Religious Right’s opposition to abortion and its weaponized interpretation of religious liberty, saying that Kavanaugh “has been playing the long game to advance an understanding of the laws and Constitution that is faithful to the text and original meaning.”

National Review’s Jim Geraghty told conservatives, “Everybody you like loves this guy.”

Here are some excerpts from press statements and messages to activists.

Hey give it up for the Top 10 Gospel Choir – how great are they? Now you know that the cat is out of the bag on how they really feel – you know the Dark One could nominate Hitler and Satan to the Supreme Court and they would be praising how great their choices are. But now you’re going to hear some ridiculously stupid shit coming from the religious right. Yes, we’re allowed to swear in our church, ma’am! But what we are not allowed to say is the name of the Dark One! For he is the most evil being in the world right now! He is the devil incarnate!!! But that wasn’t even the craziest thing that was said!

Right-wing radio host Jesse Lee Peterson reported on his program yesterday that he has concerns about the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court based on the fact that Kavanaugh is “a mama’s boy” and is not a “real man” because both of his children are girls.

Peterson said that while he trusts President Trump because “he has not been wrong yet about anything,” he does have concerns about the fact that Kavanaugh talked about his mother too much during his acceptance speech.

“During his speech, it was all about his mama,” Peterson complained. “He always love his mama. It was all about the impact that his mother had on his life while he was growing up, how she influenced him, even though he was raised by his father too. He gave this big old long speech about his mother and then, right at the end, he said, ‘Oh yeah, I love my daddy too.'”

“So that concerns me,” Peterson said. “He is a mama’s boy.”

“The other thing is he has no boys, he has only girls,” he continued. “Real men make boys first and I notice that most men are not real men anymore and they are making girls.”

Yeah I think the Dude answers that question better than you, Jesse! But apparently this appointment is the best one of the Dark One’s performances so far! Really do these people even hear themselves talking?

Right-wing political operative, author and former speaker of the House Newt Gingrich is calling President Trump’s Supreme Court nomination of Brett Kavanaugh the president’s “best performance so far” and “an example of the way President Trump is brilliantly strategic on the issues that are really important.” Gingrich’s comments were made in an op-ed for Fox News and during an appearance on the network this week. Gingrich said he was in the White House just hours before the announcement to meet with Vice President Mike Pence and other officials, and that he had a chance to spend time with Kavanaugh.

“Since these appointments are for life,” Gingrich said, “President Trump’s influence on the federal court system will last decades beyond his time in office.”

Gingrich praised the remarks made by Kavanaugh at the White House announcement of his nomination as “professionally sound and unassumingly personable,” adding, “I couldn’t help but wonder how the Democrats are going to try to demonize this eminently likable man, who currently serves on the U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia.”

Yes, keep talking sinners! Because lying is a sin!! And it is a sin that is very clearly outlined in our good book right here! For which you can buy copies right after the show! And you can see for yourself where it clearly says that. I know which passage and verse they appear in! Not that passage, good sir! But you know with friends like these, who needs enemies?

Focus on the Family, the massive nonprofit organization that got the IRS to re-classify it as a church in order to avoid government regulation and, it claimed later, to protect the privacy of its donors, sent supporters an email on Friday morning praising Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh and offering a “free resource” on the nominee. “On issues of religious freedom and free speech, among others, his court opinions and dissents portray a judge who deeply values our God-given rights guaranteed by the Constitution,” says Focus.

The “resource” is a webpage containing basic biographical information and a section on “What makes Kavanaugh a good prospect for the Supreme Court?” High on that list is his “originalist and textualist judicial philosophy.” Focus also notes that Kavanaugh has called the late right-wing Justice Antonin Scalia a “hero and a role model.”

“Originalism” is a judicial philosophy grounded in the belief that judges should interpret the language of the Constitution according to what they believe the document’s authors originally meant. Scalia was supposedly devoted to originalism—championed by the Federalist Society and all but mandatory for conservative judicial candidates to embrace—but applied it inconsistently in order to support his favored outcomes. Former Supreme Court Justice David Souter, whose name is used as an epithet by right-wing judicial activists, eloquently denounced originalism in a 2010 commencement address at Harvard.

There you have it! Religious groups are now literally telling their parishoners which way to vote, so much for separation of church and state! But we are not an official church. Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]John Schnatter
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It’s time once again to ask:

Papa John’s Pizza: How is this still a thing? Yes, the company founded by John Schnatter has been in quite a bit of trouble the over some of the founder’s remarks. You might remember when he denounced his employees’ right to health care while he lives in a giant mansion with a private golf course. Or you might remember when they became the official pizza of the Alt Right when Schnatter said some racist remarks about NFL players and anthem protests (see Top 10 #3-21 ). But this week it might have sent them over the edge.

John Schnatter—the founder and public face of pizza chain Papa John’s—used the N-word on a conference call in May. Schnatter confirmed the incident in an emailed statement to Forbes on Wednesday. He resigned as chairman of Papa John's on Wednesday evening.

The call was arranged between Papa John’s executives and marketing agency Laundry Service. It was designed as a role-playing exercise for Schnatter in an effort to prevent future public-relations snafus. Schnatter caused an uproar in November 2017 when he waded into the debate over national anthem protests in the NFL and partly blamed the league for slowing sales at Papa John’s.

On the May call, Schnatter was asked how he would distance himself from racist groups online. He responded by downplaying the significance of his NFL statement. “Colonel Sanders called blacks n-----s,” Schnatter said, before complaining that Sanders never faced public backlash.

Schnatter also reflected on his early life in Indiana, where, he said, people used to drag African-Americans from trucks until they died. He apparently intended for the remarks to convey his antipathy to racism, but multiple individuals on the call found them to be offensive, a source familiar with the matter said. After learning about the incident, Laundry Service owner Casey Wasserman moved to terminate the company’s contract with Papa John’s.

Yes, Papa John himself went full racist during an exercise in how to handle public relations events, which suggests that perhaps he didn’t quite get the message. And you never go full racist, even hardcore 1488 white supremacists know that. Shit, even Rand Paul knows that John Schnatter is a racist scumbag. And Rand Paul is also a racist scumbag.

U.S. Sen. Rand Paul said Monday he would not return thousands of dollars in political donations from John Schnatter, who resigned from Papa John's last week after he admitted to using a racial slur.

"I think the language that was said to be used was unacceptable and should not be used, period," Paul said after telling the Courier Journal he would not return the donations.

The Kentucky Republican received $17,000 from Schnatter in political donations from 1996 to 2018, according to a Courier Journal analysis of the pizza baron's FEC filings.

"Perhaps we should ask the same question of all the media covering this story: Are any of the TV stations or newspapers going to give back the advertising money they have taken from Papa John's over the years?" said sokesperson Kelsey Cooper said in a statement.

And that is certainly true. So how is Papa John’s Pizza still a thing if their founder is such a racist asshole and an overall horrible human being? Well even their board of directors is asking him to stop talking.

Papa John's continued to distance itself from founder John Schnatter over the weekend, prohibiting him from talking to the press, removing him from the pizza chain's advertising materials and revoking his office space at the company's headquarters.

"The company has specifically requested that Mr. Schnatter cease all media appearances, and not make any further statements to the media regarding the company, its business or employees," Papa John's said in a press release late Sunday.

The company created a special committee of independent directors to evaluate the ties between Papa John's and its founder after he admitted last week to using a racially charged slur during a May conference call.

The committee terminated Schnatter's "Founder Agreement," which designated him as the face of the company's advertising and marketing, and terminated his sublease agreement for office space at Papa John's Louisville, Kentucky, headquarters.

Yes, Papa John went there, and in this day and age, you most certainly cannot go there. Perhaps it’s time for the Papa John’s company to take a step back and retool its’ image. Even the University Of Louisville dropped their name from their stadium.

A week that began with reports that Papa John’s founder Papa “John” Schnatter somehow worked an overt hard-r racial slur into a conference call with a marketing company is ending with the removal of Schnatter’s name from virtually everything on which it had previously been emblazoned. There are only so many of these left at this point, but the University of Louisville announced on Friday that it would begin the work of prying Papa’s brand off their football stadium and, uh, The John H. Schnatter Center for Free Enterprise at the Louisville College of Business. He had already withdrawn from the school’s board of trustees on Wednesday, and had stepped down from the school’s Athletic Association back in April.

So Papa Johns lost their lucrative corporate sponsorship. And to even kick a man further when he’s down, the Papa John’s Corporation kicked him out of their Louisville headquarters and asked that he not talk to the press:

Papa John’s International Inc.’s board put further distance between the pizza chain and its outspoken founder, John Schnatter, for using a racial slur, agreeing to review all ties to him, evict him from the headquarters and remove him from all marketing materials.

A special committee of independent directors ordered the termination of a so-called founder’s agreement that designated Schnatter as the brand’s face and voice and is requesting he cease media appearances on behalf of the firm, the company said in a statement after a Sunday night board meeting. Though Schnatter resigned as chairman this month and no longer holds a formal management role, he remains on the board and still owns about 30% of the company’s shares.

Schnatter came under pressure after a media report that he used a racial slur and graphic descriptions of violence against minorities in a conversation with the company’s former media agency, Laundry Service. That was months after he exited the chief executive job over critical comments about the National Football League’s national-anthem controversy.

Which just goes to show you – in this day and age, maybe don’t say something racist. Even analysts are predicting that Papa Johns is better off without its’ key ingredient: Papa John.

Papa John's accepted Schnatter's resignation as chairman of the company's board on Wednesday and decided to no longer use his image in any of its advertising or marketing materials. However, Schnatter, who owns a 24 percent stake in Papa John's, remains on the company's board.

"This decision is the first of several key steps to rebuild trust from the inside-out," Ritchie said.

The company's next steps will include retaining an independent expert to audit its existing processes and policies surrounding diversity and inclusion and sending its senior management to its restaurants to hold listening sessions with employees.

"I will personally be leading this effort because there is nothing more important for Papa John’s right now," Ritchie said.
"We want to regain trust, though I know we need to earn it. We will demonstrate that a diverse and inclusive culture exists at Papa John’s through our deeds and actions."

Papa John's shares closed Friday at $53.55, recouping the losses it logged Wednesday, and then some. In the aftermath of the report, the stock hit a 52-week low of $47.80, but is now up about 4 percent for the week as a whole.

Yes, in addition to racism and excess greed, Papa John himself thinks of diversity the same way that Ron Burgundy does. Which makes us think that the company is better off without him. That’s enough to make you ask – Papa John’s Pizza:

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[font size="8"]The Alt Right
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So the Alt Right is finding out that its’ messages of racism, sexism, xenophobia, homophobia, transphobia, and misogyny aren’t exactly welcome in a society that is becoming more free and accepting of these things. Case in point – the Proud Boys. Yes, that group of winners was dining in the Top 10’s hometown of Los Angeles when they attracted unruly crowds on both sides, as was expected, and well, things got really ugly really quickly, as was expected.

Members of the far-right “Proud Boys” were chased out of a Los Angeles bar on Saturday by a group of democratic socialist protesters.

Video from the incident shows the left-wing activists shouting “No Proud Boys, no KKK, no fascist USA” at the group at L.A. bar The Griffin.

The L.A. chapter of the Democratic Socialists of America (DSA) shared video of the incident on Twitter, in which their members and others from anti-gentrification group Defend North East Los Angeles can be heard chanting and yelling “F--- you fascist,” “Get out of here, Nazi” and “Facist pigs, squeal — you’re all swine.”

The Proud Boys are a far-right organization of men that was started by a former founder of Vice Media. They describe themselves as "western chauvinists" who "refuse to apologize for creating the modern world," according to their web site.

Hell yes it did. And like all things the Alt Right does, they’re quickly finding out that people might be really pissed off at them. But you know there’s crazy and then there’s Alt Right crazy. The difference is that they take your normal crazy and add racism and misogyny among other horrible traits. But here’s the thing about the right wing that you need to know – when you kick them down, they get right back up again. And yes, they are planning a 2nd Unite The Right rally.

Weeks until the anniversary of last year’s deadly “Unite the Right” demonstration in Charlottesville, Va., city officials said efforts are underway to keep a proposed “Unite the Right 2” next month from turning tragic.

Charlottesville officials discussed their plans for the proposed Aug. 12 protest during a public meeting held Thursday in anticipation of a federal judge ruling whether the rally occur can occur.

“We are preparing for worst-case scenarios, that’s our job,” said Andrew Baxter, Charlottesville’s fire chief, WVIR-TV reported. “My goal, my definition of success, will be on Monday, August 13, that the community says to us, ‘you guys were too prepared.’”

Charlottesville resident Jason Kessler, a 34-year-old white nationalist activist who organized last year’s “Unite the Right,” sued the city in March for refusing to let him hold a protest on the event’s anniversary. His case is currently pending in Charlottesville federal court, and a hearing has been set for July 24 regarding whether the city should be forced to grant him a permit, potentially giving officials fewer than three weeks to prepare.

Yes so the Alt Right sends out their best… um… lawyers to deal with the situation. I thought these people hated trial lawyers, did they not? I mean who wants to go hear a bunch of semi-patriotic yahoos who carry around pocket versions of the Constitution yet couldn’t recite one article from it scream about how much they hate everyone who’s not a MAGAhole? Let these assholes speak to empty rooms and eventually they’ll go away. But no…

Jason Kessler, the far-right activist who organized last year’s white supremacist rally in Charlottesville, Virginia, where a counter-protester was killed, said that he thought people “need to separate the alt-right” from real-life events like his upcoming Unite the Right anniversary rally because those people “aren’t used to being out of the internet.”

It was reported yesterday that Kessler and other white nationalist and militia groups had signed consent decrees in which they agreed to discourage “paramilitary activity” in Charlottesville so that they could resolve a lawsuit stemming from last year’s rally. The same day, he also appeared on the alt-right podcast “The Public Space” hosted by white nationalist Jean-François Gariépy, to who Kessler suggested that many alt-right people are ill-equipped to behave properly at “in real life” events such as his rally because their activism largely takes place on the internet.

Gariépy asked Kessler to explain why he is “talking about collaborating with the police, collaborating with the secret services” for his “Unite the Right 2” anniversary rally in D.C., and whether he believed there was merit to accusations that he “encourages people to find themselves in situations where they will get doxed.”

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait. Wait. So you’re telling me that the Alt Right and Neo Nazis shouldn’t mix and that they should welcome doxing? Ok I want whatever brand of Covfefe these guys are smoking. Because this is some truly fucked up logic here. The alt right and the neo Nazis actually have a lot in common. You would think these guys would make natural allies. But here’s where it gets weird. So the good news – they can’t carry guns.

Jason Kessler on Thursday promised to be active in discouraging organized, armed groups from returning to Charlottesville, casting doubt on his ability to hold an anniversary Unite the Right rally this August.

Kessler and Redneck Revolt, an anti-fascist group, signed consent decrees this week, resolving a lawsuit brought by Georgetown Law’s Institute for Constitutional Advocacy and Protection.

The lawsuit sought to prevent nearly two dozen white nationalist groups, militia groups and their leaders from paramilitary activity at demonstrations in Charlottesville.

Kessler and Redneck Revolt were the only two defendants remaining. Under the 19 consent decrees and four additional default judgments expected to be entered by the court, the other defendants already have agreed not to engage in paramilitary-like activity in the city.

So yeah Unite The Right 2: Electric Boogaloo Die Harder is going to be kind of like that. And how is it going to play out? Only time will tell!!!

The lead organizer of the violent Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville was the last defendant to enter into a consent decree, in which he promised not to facilitate organized, armed paramilitary activity at any future rallies in the city.

The decree permanently prohibits Jason Kessler and the others who signed from participating in militias, alt-right organizations and protests in Charlottesville.

The lawsuit was brought against protestors on behalf of the city, local businesses and neighborhood associations for organizing an armed rally.

Redneck Revolt, which describes itself as an “anti-racist, anti-fascist community defense formation,” also entered into a consent decree earlier this week.

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink

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Hey New Orleans, I really need a drink!

And man do I need a drink this week. So you know the idea of this is where we get have some drinks and talk about anything in the news as long as it doesn’t relate to politics because, let’s face it, there’s some pretty dark shit in the news right now. So if you’re between drinks right now this is the perfect time to order another round or two! And it got really dark really quickly. Plus I’m in a city where booze flows freely by the way, is it safe to say that? So tell me bartender, what goes well with a rented DVD? A bottle of Bud Dry? That hasn’t existed as long as… OK fine, fuck it. I’ll just take my usual Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. I call it the “Double Jack”. So a very sad thing happened last week in Alaska. Let’s explain further.

Two Blockbuster video stores are closing in Alaska, leaving just one left in the United States.

A couple franchise outlets in Alaska famously continued to survive long after the parent company of the formerly ubiquitous national chain folded. They were long bolstered by nostalgia as well as remote communities with a lack of high-speed Internet access for streaming video. But now they’re both shutting their doors for the last time Sunday night, the AP reported.

“These are the last two Blockbuster stores in Alaska that survived and it is sad to say goodbye to our dedicated customers,” the managers posted on Facebook. “We have thought of you as family for the past 28 years … Thank you for sticking by us throughout all these years. I can’t tell you how much it means to us. We hope to see you at our stores during the closing, even if it’s just to say ‘Hello.’ What a great time to build your media library and share some Blockbuster memories with us.
We will miss all of you!”

Yes that probably is not a wise investment, Randy, as there is only one last Blockbuster Video in America and it’s in Bend, Oregon. Which makes us wonder – hey what happened to all that crazy movie memorabilia John Oliver bought a while back?

Try as he might, Last Week Tonight host John Oliver will not be known as the man who single-handedly saved Blockbuster.

Back in April, Oliver bought a number of items from Russell Crowe’s divorce auction, including a leather jockstrap from the film Cinderella Man. Pledging to donate the items to a worthy cause, Oliver zeroed in on two of the last remaining Blockbusters, located in Alaska, promising that if one of them contacted the show, they could display the memorabilia in their store.

Unfortunately, the attempted publicity stunt didn’t do the trick and the two Alaska Blockbusters are due to close next week, leaving just one Blockbuster in the entire U.S. The stores, located in Fairbanks and Anchorage, will officially close on Monday, July 16. The last remaining Blockbuster store is located in Bend, Oregon.

Excuse me a minute… And here’s where it gets weird. See, gone are the days when you would actually get in your car and drive to a Blockbuster Video to rent a DVD. Only to find there’s nothing good and then you get back in the car and drive home. Now you can just push a button and have these movies available to you instantly. The really fucked up thing in this day and age is that the last Blockbuster in America has actually seen a resurgence!

A man parked his motorcycle on the sidewalk Saturday morning, ruining the aesthetic of the last remaining Blockbuster in the contiguous United States.

“You can’t park there,” general manager Sandi Harding told the man as he walked into the store in Bend, Ore. “People are trying to take pictures.”

The man paused for a beat. There was confusion in his response.

“Trying to take pictures?”

Somehow he had missed the past decade, when Blockbuster the video rental behemoth became Blockbuster the fallen victim of modernity.

In 2004, at the company’s peak, 9,000 Blockbuster outlets studded city blocks and suburban strip malls nationwide, a onetime indelible fixture of the family movie night. But soon after, Netflix, Redbox and the cold march of digital progress eroded the customer base at each store.

Yeah remember when they would pick like the most bland, G-rated, boring, unoffensive movie to show on the TV monitors? Like Air Bud or Babe: Pig In The City? Although somehow I don’t think Ted would be the movie I would choose, but if you have no customers, fuck it! I mean come on even Arnold jokes about the end of Blockbuster Video!

Former California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, a frequent critic of President Trump, takes fresh aim at his fellow Republican in a new video in which he mocks Trump’s efforts to save the coal industry, saying it makes no more sense than protecting Blockbuster video-rental stores.

The three-minute video opens with Schwarzenegger, an actor well known for his time-traveling title role in “The Terminator” movie series, lecturing a Trump bobblehead.

“So President Trump, I know you really want to be an action hero, right?” Schwarzenegger says. “So take it from the Terminator, you’re only supposed to go back in time to protect future generations. But your administration attempts to go back in time to rescue the coal industry, which is actually a threat to future generations.”

“It is foolish to bring back laughable, outdated technology to suit your political agenda,” Schwarzenegger continues. “I mean, what are you going to bring back next? Floppy disks? Fax machines? Beanie Babies? Beepers? Or Blockbuster? Think about it. What if you tried to save Blockbuster?”

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[font size="8"]Deep State Diaries Episode 5: The USDA
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It’s time for episode 5 of Deep State Diaries. Yes we’re touring the 24 branches and services that make up the United States government. Everything from the FBI to the IRS to the Pentagon to the CIA to the DPW to the DVA to parks and recreation and all branches and services in between. Of course if you’re here you probably already know more about our government and how it works than your average Fox News loving Trump supporter does. So that’s what this segment is going to address. We are going to do a deep dive into all that makes the United States the United States. Because we here at the Top 10 love to educate as well as entertain. Because we care.

[font size="6"]The USDA[/font]

This week we’re going to take a look at how our meat is processed. Not that kind of meat, sir. Go ahead, let all of the jokes out! I’ll just sit here and finish my second double Jack & Jack. I mean come on if you’re going to talk shit about how big your meat is, whip it out! Don’t be shy! You won’t get arrested for public nudity. This is New Orleans! What happens in NOLA, stays in NOLA, am I right about that? OK let’s get back to business here, we got Slightly Stoopid waiting. They’re on a huge tour right now and I’m sure they’d like to get back to it. Back on track. The US Department Of Agriculture oversees the American farming industry. And right now we are in a state with a lot of farms, isn’t that right, Louisiana? But they oversee how all of our domestic animal and vegetable products are produced. To take a look at what they do exactly, let’s see how they are monitoring our fruits that are produced in states like my home state of California.

The U.S. Department of Agriculture has decreased its estimates for California and Texas orange production.

The California orange forecast is 44 million boxes, down 1% from the USDA’s June projection. The Texas orange forecast is 1.88 million boxes, down 11% from June.

The estimate for California valencias has been lowered 5% to 9 million boxes, on par with last season.

The forecast for California navels is steady at 35 million boxes, which is down 11% from the 2016-17 season.

While USDA lowered its estimate for Texas oranges, 1.88 million boxes still represents a 37% gain from last season.

He does kind of look orange doesn’t he? Anyway getting back on topic, and speaking of Trump, who did he nominate to lead this department? After all they do get a cabinet position, and on America’s Next Top President, that position will get quickly eliminated!

A University of Nebraska-Lincoln adjunct professor was nominated by President Donald Trump on Monday to become Undersecretary for Agricultural Research, Education and Economics at the U.S. Department of Agriculture.

Scott Hutchins, an adjunct in the Entomology Department at UNL, would oversee the Agricultural Research Service, the National Institute of Food and Agriculture, the Economic Research Service and the National Agricultural Statistics Service as the USDA's chief scientist.

The current global leader of integrated field sciences for Corteva Agriscience, the agricultural division of DowDuPont, Hutchins lives in Carmel, Indiana.

He holds a bachelor's degree from Auburn, a master's degree from Mississippi State as well as a Ph.D. from Iowa State, and was the president of the Entomological Society of America in 2007.

Professor Gary Brewer, head of UNL's Entomology Department, said Hutchins is "a great strategic planner" with professional development expertise, conducting workshops and planning sessions for the department.


Wow. Just… wow. Just like everything he nominates, Trump manages to pick the absolute worst candidates for the job! I mean the current head of the USDA used to run a giant chemical company that, I don’t know, poisoned agriculture! That would be like nominating the iceberg to lead America’s boating industry! Straight ahead! Cling clang!!! I mean come on, they’re thinking of getting rid of bees! Bees for damn sake!

Bee populations in North America have been in decline since the 1940s. This is of great concern to the agriculture industry because about 75 percent of specialty crops depend on the services of pollinators – of which bees are the most economically important.

In the United States, honey bees and native bees are the most economically important species contributing approximately $15 billion in crop value. USDA’s National Institute of Food and Agriculture (NIFA) invests in research to investigate the reasons for the declining populations, promote pollinator health, reduce honey bee colony losses, and restore pollinator habitats.

Since 2008, NIFA has invested about $49 million in grants on research, education, and extension programs that address bee health. Among these is Michigan State University’s Integrated Crop Pollination project, where researchers and extension specialists have developed sustainable pollination strategies for both wild and managed bees. One of their successes was to develop landscape models to identify where best to establish native plants to enhance crop pollination, such as marginal soil sites near pollinator-dependent crops. Another project went to the University of Maryland, where researchers, extension specialists, and beekeepers refined and validated best management practices to minimize losses from pests and diseases.

You know what before we go we should definitely take a look at what the USDA is doing to help the bee population. This is about as evil as it gets. You might as well appoint Homer Simpson to be head bee guy.

Over the last half-decade, nearly a third of the North American bee population has disappeared. New research suggests in some parts of the United States, climate change could be the reason bee populations continue to shrink.

To better understand how global warming affects bee health, scientists from Northwestern University and the Chicago Botanic Garden exposed bee nests in Arizona to a variety of temperatures. Researchers altered the temperatures by painting the nests black, white and clear.

Black paint caused the nests to absorb more of the sun's energy, replicating the region's future climate, should temperatures continue to rise unabated. The black paint effectively fast-forwarded to the climate of the years 2040 to 2099.

White paint caused the hives to reflect heat, taking bees back in time to climate conditions similar to those observed in the 1950s. Clear paint worked as a control.

Damn it!!!!

[font size="6"]Score Card [/font]

Overall importance: B
How Things Are Going: C
Likely hood To Survive: B

Overall: B

[font size="6"]Next Week [/font]

Next week we are going to show you more of the food world as we visit the Food & Drug Administration!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Slightly Stoopid[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, returning to our fine program, is none other than San Diego’s biggest stoner rock band. They have a new album out called “Everyday Life, Everyday People” and you can see them on the School’s Out For Summer tour running through August! Playing their song “If You Want It”, give it up for Slightly Stoopid!

New Orleans, this was an awesome experience! I love you guys! We’ll be back soon! We are off to Kansas City next! See you next week!


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