Merkel Asks Mueller If There's Anything She Can Do to Help (Borowitz)

[Stonepounder]

https://bit.ly/2N7GU80

Merkel Asks Mueller If There’s Anything She Can Do to Help

BRUSSELS (The Borowitz Report)—The German Chancellor, Angela Merkel, took a break from the nato summit in Brussels on Wednesday to ask the independent counsel, Robert Mueller, if there is anything she can do to help.

According to those familiar with the phone conversation, Merkel told Mueller that she would take a leave of absence as leader of the German government and move to Washington to work full-time for Mueller “if that would be of assistance.”

Touting her credentials, Merkel told Mueller that she was fluent in Russian and could be helpful in translating the thousands of Russian-language documents that the special counsel has in his collection of evidence.

“I will work for free and pay my for my own food,” Merkel said. “I just want to make this stop.”
Mueller reportedly thanked Merkel for her offer but told her he had to wrap up their conversation because he had “Emmanuel Macron on the other line.”

[Cha]

1. Yeah, buddy!!

Mahalo, Stonepounder

[Louis1895]

2. God, I love Borowitz!!

He is helping to keep me from going off the deep end these days!

[Gothmog]

3. I love good satire

[calimary]

4. Andy Borowitz!!!

Wouldn’t surprise me if a few key people have had similar daydreams tiptoe across their minds.

[Wounded Bear]

5. I expect the RWers to jump on this a run with it like it's real...

[JohnnyRingo]

6. "I just want to make this stop"

Hilarious.

[SunSeeker]

7. ...he had to wrap up their conversation because he had "Emmanuel Macron on the other line."

And Justin Trudeau was on line 3. And Theresa May was on line 4.....

[eppur_se_muova]

8. I'm sure the BND has shared what it has on Deutsche Bank's dealings with 45 ...

... so Merkel's done her share already.

[dalton99a]

9. Good one!

[lindysalsagal]

10. Manages to make this disaster funny, every time.