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Mon Jun 11, 2018, 11:06 AM

Top 10 Conservative Idiots: The Complete 5th Season

Last edited Wed Jan 2, 2019, 08:07 PM - Edit history (123)


Top 10 Conservative Idiots: The Complete 5th Season

Season 4: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100210083764
Season 3: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100210008235
Season 2: https://www.democraticunderground.com/10029078791
Season 1: https://www.democraticunderground.com/1016169212

Welcome back to the Complete 5th season of the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Like previous seasons, this season will serve as a handy guide to all the wacky things conservatives are talking about. And of course in the Trump world any time we take a break it feels like an eternity since batshit crazy stuff not only happens on a daily basis, it seems like it happens on an almost hourly basis! Of course our regular features like Top 10 Investigates, This Fucking Guy, People Who Somehow Got Elected, How Is This Still A Thing, and Holy Shit are there, but we are debuting plenty of new features including Deep State Diaries, Profiles In #Civility, and Beating A Dead Horse. Plus we have the relaunch of the new, verified Top 10 Twitter feed ( @10Idiots), the Top 10 G-Mail account (Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com), and we will be featuring plenty of mischief and mayhem throughout the remaining half of the crazy year that is 2018. Not to mention all the great music that we’ve previously and currently feature on the Top 10. And like previous seasons, this one will be updated weekly until the entire thing is complete at the close of our season on 12/19/18 with our second ever year in review edition. So without further adieu, here is the guide for the next season of the Top 10 – season 5! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

**NOTE** THIS IS AN INCOMPLETE LIST. IT WILL BE UPDATED WEEKLY AND THE FULL SEASON LIST WILL BE POSTED AT THE CONCLUSION OF THIS SEASON ON 12/19/18

Edition #5-1: Fake News Freak Out Edition (6/13/18)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100210729356

We play catch up on things that we might have missed during the exhausting 2 week break we took after Memorial Day which includes the Roseanne cancellation and Trump supporters coming up with insane excuses as to why they still support him. Sean Hannity commits multiple on air felonies when he tells people indicted by Mueller to smash their hard drives and destroy their cell phones and SIM cards. Meanwhile in Washington, Trump disinvites the Eagles to the White House after Fox News told him to do so because, anthem. We also recap the insane meeting between Trump and Kim Jong Un which accomplished, well, exactly nothing. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, we take a look at the city of Las Vegas and how a gigantic worker’s strike could affect the city. In our weekly sermon of all things holy, Holy Shit, our resident pastor asks his congregation for money to buy a private jet. We bring back "Beating A Dead Horse" to discuss alt right trolling among Star Wars fans, mainly aimed at "The Last Jedi" star Kelly Marie Tran. We debut a new segment called "Explaining Jokes To Idiots" (apologies to Bill Maher) where we discuss the consequences of what happened when punk rock band NOFX decided to joke about a mass shooting and got kicked out of their own festival. We have a new installment of People Are Dumb, which includes lots of misuse of marijuana and a zoo employee getting caught taking a bear through the drive-thru. And finally it’s time to debut our new segment that goes deep within the Deep State, called “Deep State Diaries” and we’re going to explore all the organizations that make up the government of the United States. This week we’re debuting by taking a look at the organization headed by Betsy DeVos, the Department Of Education!
Live Musical Guest: Judas Priest (LGBT Pride Month!)

Edition #5-2: Make A Run FROM The Border Edition (6/20/18)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100210763459

America has truly hit rock bottom as Trump's ICE is up to some Hitler-esque activities, and they are shockingly evil. So rather than make fun of it, which we can't, we'll instead make fun of the right wing reaction to us getting in the way of their evil plans. We discuss the insane plan to split California in 3 states, which actually made it on the ballot this year. In the latest edition of the Trumper Games, we discuss the jailing of former campaign strategist Paul Manafort. Trump doubles down on his evil plans along the border. We also discuss the insane plan Trump has to create a 6th branch of the military to fight wars in space. In our weekly investigative segment "Top 10 Investigates" we examine Sinclair Broadcasting's attempt to take over your local station and replace it with state run TV - a staple of the modern dictator. And for our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is going to put on his tin foil hat and delve into the world of Christian conspiracy theories! We have a new segment of "Beating A Dead Horse" in which we examine why conservatives are so afraid of getting banned on social media sites (hint: it's them!). The Alt Right is up to its' usual bag of tricks which includes endorsing candidates and lying about things they did. We have a new installment of "I Need A Drink" in which we get drunk and show you ways that you can make money off the World Cup. And finally it's the second round of Deep State Diaries and this time we're going to do a deep dive into how our government treats returning soldiers and examine the Department Of Veterans Affairs.
Live Musical Guest: Imagine Dragons

Edition #5-3: Let Them Eat Flan Edition (6/27/18)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100210798615

Conservative snowflakes go apeshit and call for liberals to be civil after Sarah Huckabee Sanders gets kicked out of a restaurant in Virginia called "The Red Hen". Trump fans retaliate with death threats and threats of destruction as expected, while Stephen Miller and Kierstjen Nielsen also get kicked out of establishments. Trump uses Twitter to trash the restaurant and talks about how dirty it is, while ignoring the nearly 100 safety inspections and health code violations slapped on Mar-A-Lago in the last 3 years alone. Meanwhile, Melania goes to visit one of the camps where children are detained and wears a jacket that one would claim is in very poor taste. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, we're going to take a look at Trump's attacks on one of the most American corporations there is - Harley Davidson and how his tariffs could sink the iconic brand. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is going to take a look at some of the more "godly" candidates running in 2018 because, Jesus. After Maxine Waters calls for protest against the administration, a dialogue has broken between both sides about "civility" and we show you some of the ways the right wing wants to be civil. We have a new installment of People Are Dumb, includes Burger King Russia getting caught in a bizarre advertising scandal, bad World Cup merchandise, a Georgia Wendy's customer getting a side of meth with his burger, a Kansas man having sex with a car, and some firefighters in Ohio using their workplace to film porno movies. And the next installment of our ongoing series "Deep State Diaries" is going to take a look at the FCC and in particular Trump appointee Ajit Pai!
Live Musical Guest: Chromeo

***TOP 10 Takes A Week Off For July 4th***

Top 10 Best Of: Civility Edition
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100210829131

From Idiots 4-18 we take a look at what happened when Trump opened the new US embassy in Jerusalem to a violent and gritty welcome. From Idiots 4-19, Texas LT Governor Dan Patrick and Gov Greg Abbott offer some stunningly stupid solutions to end mass shootings after one happens just outside of Houston. From Idiots 4-14, Michael Cohen cements Trump's horrible taste in attorneys when he squeals that his third client is Sean Hannity. From Idiots 4-15 our president Donald J Trump attempted to combine his two favorite hobbies - golf and angry toilet tweeting - while Melania was at Barbara Bush's funeral. From Idiots 4-16, Top 10 Investigates the terrifying NXIVM cult made famous by Smallville actress Allison Mack. From Idiots 4-16, Holy Shit takes a look at all the wacky doomsday prepper products being offered by professional huckster Jim Bakker. From Idiots 5-2, "Beating A Dead Horse" takes a look at the eternal struggle between conservatives and social media sites. From Idiots 4-19, Alex Jones wants to take Infowars on a 24/7 news cycle. Conspiracy theories all day every day! From Idiots 4-16, People Are Dumb takes a look at a preacher in California who picked the wrong time to try to convert people to his flock. And from Idiots 4-9, our 2nd annual Stupidest State contest presents you with Selection Sunday - which gives you all the teams, stats, odds, and info that you need to fill out your brackets!
Live Musical Guest: Imagine Dragons

Edition #5-4: Wheel Of Corruption & The Goblet Of Fire Edition (7/13/18)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100210856087

Live From Austin! Another shake up in the White House means another installment of the Trumper Games! And this week, we take a look at Tribute Pruitt's decision to resign from the Trump White House, and he's quickly replaced with former Fox News host Bill Shine. We add Ohio representative Jim Jordan to the growing list of People Who Somehow Got Elected. We take a look at what happens when Trump supporters and administration employees go out in public in a new segment called "Profiles In Civility". Trump also goes to Montana for a rally and we attempt to recap his speech and break out our English to Trump translator, and find that it doesn't work. In our weekly investigative piece "Top 10 Investigates", we take a look at white supremacists running for office at state and local levels in a segment we're calling "Backyard Nazis". And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is going to tell you what he did on his summer vacation by visiting Kentucky's Ark Encounter theme park. We bring back "Explaining Jokes To Idiots" to tell you how humor actually works after Alex Jones declared that Civil War II was going to start July 4th. In a new installment of "Beating A Dead Horse", the Alt Right has got to let go of Pizzagate, and their theories are getting weirder and weirder. Plus we may or may not have some food porn images of pizza for their enjoyment. We have a new installment of People Are Dumb, which includes the Flat Earth Society, a guy who really loves getting arrested over and over, gay swans, a Montana man who threatened to go on a murder spree if he didn't get free gas, and a Wisconsin woman who hid her drugs in a very uncomfortable place. And finally in the latest episode of our ongoing series "Deep State Diaries" we go inside the White House to take a look at the White House Press Corps!
Live Musical Guest: The Interrupters

Edition #5-5: Diary Of A Wimpy Trump: Nyet Rules! Edition (7/18/18)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100210892847

Live From New Orleans! The congressional hearings into Peter Strzok's anti-Trump FBI texts prove to be a category 5 shit show and we will have all the juicy details of the investigation. We recap Trump's trip to the UK where he told Theresa May that he could have handled Brexit better. In the latest edition of Diary Of A Wimpy Trump, Trump gets sent to Putin's principal's office at the summit in Helsinki that has the whole world watching and it could go either way. We have some more Profiles In #Civlity to tell you about which includes a lot of white people calling the cops on black people. In our weekly investigative piece "Top 10 Investigates" we're going to take a look at a new concept called "micro cheating" - are you guilty of it? And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is going to tell you some of the crazier right wing reactions to the selection of Brett Kavanaugh. After yet *ANOTHER* scandal involving their controversial founder, we ask "Papa John's Pizza: How Is This Still A Thing?". Alt right activists are planning a new rally in Charlottesville after how well the last one turned out. We have a new edition of "I Need A Drink" in which we're going to get drunk and tell you about Blockbuster Video's impending doom. And the next edition of Deep State Diaries explores how our meat is processed and handled as we take a look at the USDA.
Live Musical Guest: Slightly Stoopid

Edition #5-6: Dennis & Kanye Go To Pyongyang Palace Edition (7-25-18)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100210924111

Live from Kansas City! Trump uses his favorite medium, Twitter, to threaten nuclear war with Iran after a fiery speech by Iran's president. Dennis Rodman gets a +1 to North Korea and really wants to invite Kanye West to come along with him, because reasons. Alex Jones threatens to murder Robert Mueller live on the air among other atrocities Infowars recently committed. We have new Profiles In #Civility which includes a CVS pharmacist denying a transgender woman her hormone medication, while Mike Cernovich gets James Gunn fired from Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 3 over his favorite subject - pedophilia. After the Trump promoting supermarket tabloid is caught in a massive scandal, we ask how the National Enquirer Is Still A Thing. Our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, takes a look at the Honey Smacks recall and discusses death by breakfast cereal. In our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10, our resident pastor is in crisis mode as he attempts to explain how the religious right is going to erode your rights. We have a new installment of "Beating A Dead Horse" which discusses something called "Trump Derangement Syndrome". The latest edition of "People Are Dumb" includes an insane excuse for drinking and driving, a Florida tourist getting stabbed by an armless man, a guy who takes Planet Fitness' "judgement free zone" policy way too literally, a guy getting trapped in an escape room, and a stabbing during a screening of "The First Purge". Finally the next installment of our ongoing series "Deep State Diaries" discusses how our food and drugs are handled as we look at the FDA!
Live Musical Guest: AWOLNATION

Edition #5-7: Yachty McYachtface Goes On A 3 Hour Tour Edition (8/1/18)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100210950860

Live From St. Louis! In a country where there's more guns than people, the NRA is intervening in a stunningly evil plot to allow people to make their own untraceable, undetectable, 3-D printed guns at home and we tell you the dangers of using these weapons. A group of thieves and vandals set one of Betsy DeVos' $40 million yachts afloat in Lake Huron and it causes mere pennies in damage. Jeff Sessions is under fire for giving a talk at a high school and laughing at colleges and "snowflake culture". We have more profiles in #Civility which includes a ton of stories of white people calling the cops on black people. After getting destroyed a second time, we ask how Donald Trump's star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame is still a thing. In our weekly investigative piece "Top 10 Investigates", we investigate the Looksmax movement - it's an offshoot of the Incel movement with an added bonus of self superiority. In our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor examines the dangers of state sanctioned religion in Jeff Sessions' proposed Religious Liberty Task Force. We have a new edition of "Explaining Jokes To Idiots" where we examine the outrage machine's latest tirade surrounding the Netflix series "Insatiable" - is it a quirky revenge comedy or insufferable fat shaming? You be the judge! In the latest installment of "I Need A Drink", we get drunk and tell you about the guy who took the McDonalds Monopoly game for millions of dollars. And the latest installment of Deep State Diaries takes a look at the inner workings of the food industry with the USDA!
Live Musical Guest: Social Distortion

Edition #5-8: Wheel Of Corruption & The Order Of The Phoenix Edition (8/8/18)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100210979540

Live from New York City! The conspiracy theory known as "Q Anon" comes out of the tin foil hat closet and 4chan basement and has hit mainstream media big time. We present a Tale Of Two Rallies. The first is the upcoming rally in Washington DC spearheaded by the same guys who brought you last year's Unite The Right rally, only this one promises to be bigger and bloodier, and some won't have any of it. The second is a takeover of downtown Portland by white supremacists that turned into the usual shit show that we should come to expect at this point. Alex Jones has his worst week ever when he whines about a possible Spotify boycott and gets banned from Facebook. After Trump's latest insane 3:00 AM toilet tweet storm we decide to do some fact checking into his wildly absurd claims. In our weekly investigative piece "Top 10 Investigates", we're going to take a look at the funeral industry and specifically an extremely disturbing new funeral trend called "Extreme embalming". And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is going to explore the religious angle of the conspiracy theory known as Q. We ask how the extremely controversial, once failed Tim Allen sitcom "Last Man Standing" is still a thing. We have a new installment of "People Are Dumb", which includes an alligator tossing incident, a guy throwing poop into a 7-11, a man who left food in his expensive sports car that turned into bear bait, and a white Michigan police officer who told people he was part black. And the latest installment of our ongoing series "Deep State Diaries" is going to take a look at the surveillance side of government as we explore the NSA!
Live Musical Guest: Blackberry Smoke

**Top 10 takes a week vacation**

Edition #5-9: Space Nazis: Coast To Coast Edition (8/22/18)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211034780

Live From Detroit! Mueller drops the big one as Trump's campaign manager and head attorney both turn on him and are probably going to prison for a very long time. Meanwhile, in West Virginia, Trump holds a MAGA rah rah campaign rally and goes way off the rails while openly discussing his plan to destroy the environment involving clean coal. The queen of soul, Aretha Franklin, has passed away and conservatives including Trump show just how much they care when they attempt to pay their R-E-S-PECTs. We talk about the latest developments happening with the creation of Space Force, the 6th branch of the US military. We have a new installment of Profiles In #Civility and we have a game of Bingo that you can play along with at home as we discuss the latest ways white people have called the cops on black people. In our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates, we're going to take a look at the city of San Francisco. The wealthiest city in the country apparently has a massive poop problem that they need to deal with, and are doing so very poorly. In our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is becoming increasingly alarmed that his fellow religious zealots might be turning on each other. We profile insane ultra far right Christian conspiracy theorists Lance Wallnau and Rick Wiles in a new installment of "This Fucking Guy". We have a new installment of our favorite segment "People Are Dumb" which includes a Florida woman stripping naked, a guy who stole booze and left a bag of marijuana, a guy getting arrested for DUI twice in one day, and a Florida man performing a striptease in a Japanese steakhouse. And the next installment of our ongoing series "Deep State Diaries" is going to take you deep inside our legal system as we explore the DOJ!
Live Musical Guest: Rebelution

Edition #5-10: Rabbit Rewards Program Edition (8/29/18)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211069056

Live From The Twin Cities Podcast Festival In Minneapolis! John McCain has passed away. We delve into the (mostly) insensitive comments about his life and legacy coming from the conservative right. We also talk in great detail about Trump's refusal to fly flags at half mast until he was actually told to do so, and the insane reason behind his decision not to attend McCain's forthcoming funeral. Meanwhile, Trump's administration is about to be brought down by a stripper named Stormy and a sleazy tabloid journalist named Pecker. Betsy DeVos wants to throw more guns at a gun problem while the NRA comes up with some truly asinine solutions to stop the latest mass shootings after one happened at a gaming tournament in Florida. After getting smacked down by a judge, we delve into the insane spending habits of California Rep. Duncan Hunter. Rudy Giuliani needs a good, solid dose of STFU. In our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates, we delve into the claims made by white nationalists about South Africa after Trump retweets Tucker Carlson. What's really going on there? And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is furious at Liberty University for silencing their school newspaper. We also have a new edition of "I Need A Drink" in which we're going to get drunk and tell you about the biggest Tinder dating hoax of all time! Yes, that's a thing that happened! And we end this week with another edition of our ongoing series "Deep State Diaries" and this week we're going to take a look at the auto industry and the Department Of Motor Vehicles! Do your best Patty & Selma impression here.
Live Musical Guest: Bishop Briggs

**Top 10 was forced to cancel and replaced with a guy with a talking puppet**

Edition #5-11: Pumped Up Fists Edition (9/12/18)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211125525

Live from San Jose! Trump is currently running the greatest shit show on the planet earth when he nominates an extremely controversial professional Clinton hater to SCOTUS and the backlash that follows is incredible. New books are coming out that might show that Trump is the absolute worst boss of all time. Meanwhile, after nearly getting into an actual fist fight with Alex Jones outside of the hearings, we add Florida senator Marco Rubio to the growing list of People Who Somehow Got Elected. Roy Moore sues Sascha Baron Cohen over his appearance on the show "Who Is America" for an absolutely absurd amount of money. In our weekly investigative piece "Top 10 Investigates" we're going to take a look at a growing beef between Tesla founder Elon Musk and the heroes from the Thai cave rescue a few months ago and find out what's really going on between them. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10, our resident pastor is growing increasingly concerned about his fellow zealots' support for the Dark One's SCOTUS pick. We have a new edition of "Beating A Dead Horse" which is examining the beef between Trump fans and Nike over their selection of Colin Kaepernick to be the new face of their "Just Do It" ad campaign. Also we have a new segment debuting called "We're All Gonna Die" in which we're discussing how a sold out A380 flying from Dubai to JFK got quarantined. And Vanilla Ice may or may not have been on said flight. We also have a new edition of People Are Dumb, because, well, people are dumb. And the latest installment of our ongoing series Deep State Diaries takes a look at our government's creative side as we explore the National Endowment For The Arts!
Live Musical Guest: Coheed & Cambria

Edition #5-12: Rave Un 2 The Debt Fantastic Edition (9/19/18)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211154114

Live from Oxnard! We delve into the crimes of SCOTUS nominee Brett Kavanaugh and probe the mystery of what happened to his outrageous debt that he racked up buying Washington Nationals tickets. He's also been accused of sexual harassment and assault, and his accuser is afraid to come forward after being doxxed and receiving death threats. Donald Trump gets to test out the "warning" part of the W.A.R.N. act and send out an emergency alert to everyone's cell phone, and we predict what those alerts are going to be like. Meanwhile, Stormy Daniels' latest disturbing revelation ruins our collective childhood more than George Lucas ever would or could. In our weekly investigative piece "Top 10 Investigates", we challenge Trumps' wild accusations and falsehoods about the death toll from Hurricane Irma (which are false) and we've apparently learned nothing to prevent the next one. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is going to challenge Pat Robertson's claims that he can pray away the hurricane. We add "Putin's Favorite Congressman" - Orange County representative Dana Rohrabacher to the growing list of People Who Somehow Got Elected. After the latest allegations from his wife Soon Yi Previn, we ask how Woody Allen's career is still a thing. And in "I Need A Drink", we delve into the mystery of why our good friend Post Malone has had a recent string of bad luck - because - wait for it - he's cursed! Finally we end with the latest installment of our ongoing series Deep State Diaries with our first visit to the Pentagon as we check out the US Navy!
Live Musical Guest: Gorillaz

Edition #5-13: Wheel Of Corruption & The Half Blood Prince Edition (9/26/18)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211186385

Live from Hollywood! More accusers are coming forward against SCOTUS nominee Brett Kavanaugh and we detail all the horrifying allegations against him and see if we can locate our high school schedules. Trump's golf habits are getting him into some major trouble while a new book detailing his habit of cheating at the sport is going to bite him in the ass hard. We introduce you to Washington, DC based sandwich chain Taylor Gourmet, which gets Trump's signature "Art Of The Deal" treatment (read: they went out of business). Paypal delivers what may be the final blow to Alex Jones and his Infowars empire. In our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates, after a recent series of horrifying electronic data breaches, targeting some of the internet's biggest retailers, we are going to ask the question - "is your purchase history safe?" (spoiler alert! No.). And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is going to go over his list of the wackiest things said by evangelicals at the annual Values Voters Summit. We have a new edition of "Explaining Jokes To Idiots" in which we school the outrage machine about what constitutes as an inappropriate Halloween costume or not. And after Youtube announced that it was cracking down on hate content, one Neo Nazi channel remains unscathed and allowed to monetize, and we're going to ask the question - "Red Ice Media - How Is This Still A Thing?". We have a new edition of People Are Dumb, because, of course People Are Dumb. Finally this week we've got the next installment of our ongoing series Deep State Diaries and we're continuing to explore the Pentagon as we check out the United States Coast Guard!
Live Musical Guest: Jack White

Edition #5-14: Blurred Crimes Edition (10/3/18)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211228059

Live from Hollywood! Trump stoops to an all time new low of insulting a sexual assault victim during the latest MAGA rally and well, it doesn't end well for him. We delve into more insanity surrounding Brett Kavanaugh's "Blurred Crimes" and well, the more you peel back the layers, the more it stinks. Meanwhile, Trump Jr. needs "#MeToo" explained to him after an interview where he says he is more concerned about his son's safety than his daughter's safety. We add South Carolina's fire and brimstone senator Lindsay Graham to the growing list of "People Who Somehow Got Elected". Kanye West is the musical guest on SNL and wears a MAGA hat and gives a lecture on "getting along" before going off the rails. In our weekly investigative piece "Top 10 Investigates" we explore the pending bankruptcy of Sears, Roebuck and Co, and whether or not we can prevent another Toys R Us. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10, our resident pastor is going to preview the Liberty University created documentary movie called "The Trump Prophecy" featuring Christian conspiracy theorist and "Firefighter Prophet" Mark Taylor. We profile Trump's resident pastor and guy who is hellbent on turning the White House into a church - Robert Jeffress. We also have a new edition of "I Need A Drink" in which we get drunk and tell you about an ugly incident which involved Lindsay Lohan, and we will definitely need a few drinks to tell you about this one. And the next installment of our ongoing series Deep State Diaries will take us above and beyond as we explore the US Air Force!
Live Musical Guest: The National

Edition #5-15: All About That Kav (No Pedo) Edition (10/10/18)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211264963

Live from Lexington, KY! Unfortunately, the republicans screamed like spoiled children and got Brett Kavanaugh confirmed to SCOTUS whether we wanted it or not, and we have all the details. Trump goes full MAGA conspiracy theory when talking about Kavanaugh's protestors. We add Maine senator Susan Collins to the ever growing list of "People Who Somehow Got Elected". Another shake up in the Trump administration means another edition of the Trumper Games! This time the casualty is Tribute Hayley from the 5th District and we will tell you all about the details of her stunning departure from the games! In our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates, we tell you about a controversial new plastic surgery procedure that can give you a nice butt, but also can possibly kill you! And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is going to tell you about some of the crazier conspiracy theories coming from the religious right in regards to Kavanaugh. There's also a new edition of "Beating A Dead Horse" in which Taylor Swift came out swinging against Tennessee republicans - and lost her popularity among her Neo Nazi fanbase. We also have a brand new feature to debut for you called "What's Up With India?" in which we are going to find out how crazy the former subcontinent is, and how it has the potential to kill us all! There's also a new People Are Dumb which includes a gender reveal party gone horribly wrong, a robot brothel getting shut down in Houston, a homecoming queen candidate bribing voters with pot brownies, a Florida convenience store being used for an unfortunate reason, and a guy overdosing on generic Viagra with some unusual results! Finally the next installment of our ongoing series is going to continue our military tour as we check out the unsung heroes of the military - the US Coast Guard!
Live Musical Guest: Umphrey's McGee

Edition #5-16: The College Dropout Edition (10/17/18)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211290533

Live from Boston! While Florida drowns, Kanye West, fresh off his recent stint berating the SNL audience, does a 10 minute unhinged, expletive filled rant from the Oval Office. Meanwhile, Trump goes around doing MAGA rally after MAGA rally while ignoring the catastrophes in Florida and Virginia. Melania Trump goes to Africa to promote her bizarre anti-bullying campaign "Be Best" while making some unsubstantiated claims. Back at home, Trump's BFF Alex Jones may be finding Infowars on its' last legs, but it's entirely possible that someone is keeping him afloat, but who? In our weekly investigative piece "Top 10 Investigates" we're going to take a look at the new record for the world's longest flight - SQ22, which flies from Singapore to Newark, and what it's like to fly for 17 hours straight. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is going to go over one of the Christian right's favorite topics - the apocalypse! And some of the crazier things being said this week. Plus we are going to ask how the controversial Simpsons character Apu Nahasapeemapetilan is still a thing. And we are also going to ask "What's Up With Brazil" because while you weren't looking, Putin is about to flip another country toward racism and white supremacism and it's no bueno. And in "I Need A Drink" - we're not at all surprised that Kanye's passcode for his iPhone is 000000, but apparently there's more to it than you would think! And the latest installment of our ongoing series "Deep State Diaries" is going to finish off our tour of the Pentagon and take a look at the few, the proud, the US Marine Corps!
Live Musical Guest: The Mighty Mighty Bosstones

Edition #5-17: Lock, Stock, And Two Smirking Grins Edition (10/24/18)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211316678

Live from Philadelphia! The cloud brewing over the disappearance and murder of Washington Post editor Jamal Khashoogi has turned into a category 5 shit storm. Mike Pompeo makes his first diplomatic trip as head of the CIA and it only raises more questions than answers. Back at home, Trump has been watching way too much Fox News for his own good and thinks that war with Mexico may be the only way out of the "border crisis". There's also been new developments in what really went on in that Trump tower meeting. Sheriff Joe sues the New York Times for slander for an insane amount of money after the NYT makes some very unflattering comments about him. In our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates, we're going to lighten things up and talk some football - after extremely sagging attendance numbers and a laughable regular season record, was the NFL's Chargers move to LA worth it? We shall find out! And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is going to do a deep dive into the alt right Christian fight club known as Patriot Prayer. We profile Proud Boys founder and guy who literally thinks that violence is the answer to everything, Gavin McInnes, in a new edition of "This Fucking Guy". We have a new edition of "What's Up With India?" because India has one of the largest populations on earth and so much crazy news coming out of the country. We also have a new edition of People Are Dumb, which includes a man mistaking the exit door on the airplane for a toilet, a woman bringing her emotional support squirrel on a plane, and a guy doing his best imitation of Trump's behavior toward women on a plane. And the next installment of our ongoing series Deep State Diaries is going to take a look at the one, the only FBI!
Live Musical Guest: St. Paul & The Broken Bones

Edition #5-18: Wheel Of Corruption & The Half Blood Prince Part I Edition (10/31/18)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211347667

Live from Nashville! We introduce a new feature called "What's Up With Brazil" and show you what you can expect from Brazil's new ultra far right president and Trump / Putin stooge Jair Bolsonaro. Trump's violent rhetoric causes a lone Florida Man living out of a van to send suspicious packages to literally every democratic politician and celebrity on Trump's "enemies list" and he might be the stupidest criminal alive. It's also revealed that China and Russia have been suggesting that they are listening to calls made on Trump's personal, unsecured iPhone. After NBC's Megyn Kelly gets fired over a controversy involving Halloween costumes and the use of Blackface, we ask "Blackface: How Is This Still A Thing?". In our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates, we're going to investigate tactics of voter intimidation a week before the midterm elections. In our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is going to show you which way God is voting in the midterms and well, they're not helping their arguments. "Beating A Dead Horse" discusses the right's overuse of the false flag conspiracy and how they are quick and very easily predictable they are to bring that out nearly every single tragedy or near-tragedy that happens. rWe also have a new edition of "This Fucking Guy" and this week we're profiling the co-host and co-conspirator of Infowars, Rodney Howard Brown. We also have a new People Are Dumb, which includes a guy trying to kill spiders with a blowtorch, a Belgian crook returning to the scene of the crime, a guy who shot himself, and a pair of Florida Man stories. And the next installment of Deep State Diaries is going to check out the body that monitors our elections, the FEC!
Live Musical Guest: Marilyn Manson

Edition #5-19: The Blue Wave Begins Edition (11/7/18)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211388863

Live from Orlando! The election rumors are true and a blue wave has begin to clear the red poison out of the swamp as the democrats take the house and end Trump's one party rule. Meanwhile, on the campaign trail, Sean Hannity does a huge flip flop and pulls a colossal dick move and appears at a Trump rally after telling his superiors at Fox News that he wasn't going to. We delve into the colossal, stunningly failed plot by two Trump fans - Jacob Wohl and Jack Berkman - to take down Robert Mueller, and their company Surefire Intelligence, was exposed as a fraud - and not to mention it has all the makings of a great Wes Anderson flick, or a marginal Coen Bros flick. Trump's extremely racist ad blaming the democrats for allowing a cop killer to walk free was exposed as bullshit, and deemed too racist for his favorite network, Fox News. In our weekly investigative piece, "Top 10 Investigates", we take a look at the deal that would bring the controversial Foxconn to Wisconsin, but workers looking to get a slice of that pie might be getting a lump of coal instead. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is going to show you what GAWD's plan for America is going to look like because the religious right says so. "Beating A Dead Horse" explains why Trump and his most hardcore fans are always quick to blame George Soros for everything as we look at a new phenomenon "Soros Derangement Syndrome". After some major controversies involving the WWE and Saudi Arabia, we ask how the WWE's Crown Jewel event is still a thing. And we debut our new segment "Ah, It Ain't So Bad" in which we take random, free floating news stories and attempt to look for the silver lining in them. Finally the next segment of our ongoing series Deep State Diaries is going to take a look at the Department Of Defense!
Live Musical Guest: Tenacious D

Edition #5-20: Diary Of A Wimpy Trump: Old School Edition (11/14/18)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211429565

Live from the Colorado Podcast Festival in Denver! Another shakeup in the Trump administration means that another tribute is eliminated and this time it's a big one as Tribute Sessions from the 4th district is eliminated by the president himself in a shocking upset for the Trumper Games! And if you think Sessions was bad, wait until you meet his replacement Matt Whittaker - and whew, that guy is a piece of work, and you ain't seen nothing yet! Meanwhile, Trump goes to France and it is basically one disaster after another until he meets his boss Putin, and just like the kid getting sent to the principal's office, Trump once again takes a "talking to" from Putin. Another week, another mass shooting, this time in Thousand Oaks, California, at a bar hosting a College Country Night, and the NRA's stunning war against gun research will have you cringing. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, we take a look at California's controversial Prop 8 that would impose regulations on dialysis clinics - particularly DaVita - and what that means for the future of health care. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor doesn't like to gloat but he will at the downfall of a hero of the Christian right - Kentucky's Kim Davis. We have a new edition of "Beating A Dead Horse" - libraries across the country are introducing the concept of gender fluidity to children by having a "drag queen story hour", which prompts the sheer hatred of their Christian conservative parents. Is it the worst thing in the world? We will find out! We profile Florida's newly elected governor Ron DeSantis (R-Nazi) in our growing list of People Who Somehow Got Elected. We also have a new edition of People Are Dumb, because, hey, People Are Dumb! And the next installment of our ongoing series that explains how government works to Trump loving conspiracy theorists, Deep State Diaries, is going to take a look at the FAA!
Live Musical Guest: Nathaniel Raetliff & The Night Sweats

Best Of #6: Thanksgiving Edition (11/21/18)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211460237

Best Of! From Idiots #5-8, we take a look at what happens when a conspiracy theory as insane as Qanon comes out of the conspiracy theory basement. From Idiots #5-6, Dennis Rodman gets a rare +1 to North Korea and wants to invite everyone's favorite insane unhinged rapper Kanye West along for a Pyongyang road trip. From Idiots #5-19, the hilariously failed attempt to oust Robert Mueller by Trump superfans Jacob Wohl and Jack Berkman was all the makings of a great Wes Anderson flick or a marginal Coen Bros flick. From Idiots #5-12, if you're a 90s kid, Stormy Daniels has forever ruined your childhood by making an absolutely insane video game reference in regards to Trump's manhood. From Idiots #5-11, our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates takes a look at a growing feud between Tesla founder Elon Musk and those heroes who rescued those children from a cave in Thailand. From Idiots #5-14, for our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor takes a look at an absolutely insane new documentary from Liberty University - and dares to break his one rule. From Idiots #5-13, since it's Halloween time and it didn't take long for a tasteless costume to be pulled from the shelves, "Beating A Dead Horse" examines the appeal of sexy Halloween costumes. From Idiots #5-9, "This Fucking Guy" takes a look at dueling Christian conspiracy theorists Lance Wallnau and Rick Wiles. From Idiots #5-16, is "I Need A Drink" where we're not at all surprised that Kanye West's iPhone passcode is 000000, but what happens when you make that knowledge public? It could be a cyber security nightmare for both him and you, but more you. That's when we need a drink. And finally from Idiots #5-10, our ongoing series that explains government functionality to conspiracy theorists, Deep State Diaries, takes a look at the government agency everyone loves to hate - the DMV! Do your best Patty & Selma impression here.
Musical Guest: AWOLNATION

Edition #5-21: Wheel Of Corruption & The Half Blood Prince Pt 2 (11/28/18)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211484875

Live from Tempe! Trump delves into Hitler territory and starts lobbing teargas at migrants who attempt to come across the US - Mexican border in Tijuana. Trump also decides that the lives of journalists don't matter and begins to court his dangerous new Saudi Arabia First policy, because, deal. The alt-right fight club known as the Proud Boys is imploding after members got indicted for a brew ha ha in Brooklyn and Gavin McInnes decides to jump ship before he goes down as well. We are going to talk about the latest climate change study that is going to be bringing grim, apocalyptic news in a new segment of "We're All Gonna Die". In our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates, we're going to take a look at an alarming chicken pox outbreak in a North Carolina anti-vaccination stronghold and find out where the propaganda is coming from. In our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is going to ask the burning question on everyone's minds - "Is CNN Satanic?". We debut a new segment simply called "NO!" about a high school in Wisconsin where the senior male class gave a Nazi salute. NO!!! "Beating A Dead Horse" explores a controversy at last week's Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and shows what happens when the Christian right takes things too far, like they do. We have a special Thanksgiving edition of People Are Dumb, which includes a Florida woman taking her meth to get it tested, a Chinese teenager experimenting with USB ports, Russia revisiting an old conspiracy theory, and a German teenager who lost his driver's license after 40 minutes. And the next edition of our ongoing series that explains how government works to Trump loving conservatives, Deep State Diaries, takes a look at the US Census Bureau.
Live Musical Guest: Mike Shinoda

Edition #5-22: The Art Of The Squeal Edition (12/5/18) THIRD YEAR ANNIVERSARY!
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211516132

Live from Hollywood! Things get juicy in the Trump / Russian collusion case as it starts to heat up with Paul Manafort's guilty plea while Michael Cohen perfects the art of the squeal. The right's insane Qanon theory gets real as an actual corrupt underground pedophile ring is revealed - only it involves Trump's BFFs Alan Dershowitz and Jeffrey Epstein! We add Mississippi's new senator Cindy Hyde Smith to the growing list of People Who Somehow Got Elected. In alt right news - firebrand and professional democrat hater Laura Loomer has an epic meltdown in front of Twitter headquarters, while it's revealed that Milo might be going broke and Gavin McInnes got denied entry into Australia. In our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates, we take a look at a new, 21st centruy problem of video game addiction and take you inside the world of electronic rehab. In our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is going to tell you about some bizarre things that the Christian right has been up to lately including praying for the midterms. In another edition of "NO!!!", we take a look at Melania Trump's complete lack of taste for the annual White House Christmas decorations, which make it look like a scene from American Horror Story or Dexter. We ask how South Carolina's repeated attempts to secede from the union are still a thing. We have a new segment of "I Need A Drink" which celebrates the 3rd anniversary of the Top 10. Plus our next installment of explaining how government works to Trump loving conspiracy theorists, Deep State Diaries, is going deep in America's intelligence community as we hang out with the CIA!
Live Musical Guest: Nine Inch Nails

Edition #5-23: Anarchy In The UK For Real! Edition (12/12/18)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211543778

Live From London! We attempt to untangle the latest developments in the extremely tangled and complicated web known as the Brexit vote - and there might actually be a way out of this mess but even then that's an uncertain possibility. Meanwhile British journalists are having some fun coming up with a number of some post Brexit scenarios. Back at home, we take a look at what went down during the funeral of the late President George H.W. Bush and there's a lot to unpack including Trump presenting himself as a "godly man" backfired big time. Conservatives also rail against social media conglomerates including Google, Facebook and Youtube, and won't let go of a theory that those sites are biased against them. In our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates, we're going to revisit a previously discussed subject - cell phone spying, which was made even worse after the CEO of Huawei got arrested in Canada on grounds of espionage. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 - it's the start of Hanukkah, but that hasn't prevented or deterred a group of hardcore fundamentalist Christians from holding a Bible conference at Washington DC's new Hobby Lobby sponsored Bible Museum. We have a new edition of "Beating A Dead Horse" and we're going to examine the growing furor over the holiday favorite "Baby It's Cold Outside" - is it finally time to retire the holiday favorite or are there other songs that need to be retired before that? We have a special British edition of People Are Dumb, because even in the UK, people are dumb! And finally the next round of our ongoing series that explains how government works to conspiracy theorists, Deep State Diaries, is going to explore a very British branch of the government - MI:6! That's James Bond's employers, don't you know?
Live Musical Guest: Slash Feat. Miles Kennedy & The Conspirators

Edition #5-24: 2018 Year In Review Edition (12/19/18) SEASON FINALE!
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211568973

Live from Hollywood! In our 5th season finale, we devote nearly the entire edition to recapping the insane year that was 2018. January and February saw Trump at his most frothing at the mouth crazy with shithole countries, stable geniuses, Sean Hannity's epic fail and more. March and April saw one of the worst school mass shootings since Columbine and the aftermath that unfolded with Trump golfing and Alex Jones calling the survivors crisis actors, and the governor and lieutenant governor of Texas making some astonishingly stupid solutions to ending mass shootings. May and June saw Trump attempting to turn around the dialogue on gun control and nearly bringing the world to the brink of Armageddon by moving the US embassy to Jerusalem to please end times conspiracy theorists. July and August introduced us to Space Force (and Space Nazis), Duncan Hunter getting busted by the feds for insane campaign spending, and lots and lots of stories of white people calling the cops on black people. September and October introduced us to Brett Kavanaugh and the concept of "boofing" while the horrifying state sanctioned torture and murder of Washington Post editor Jamal Khashoogi unfolded. November and December saw Trump getting his ass handed to him in the midterms, California under fire, and the death of the 41st president, George H.W. Bush. We have a new edition of "Explaining Jokes To Idiots" - yes the guy who we currently call president literally has no sense of humor about himself, as evidenced by the way he attacked Saturday Night Live. In our last visit of 2018 to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is going to tell you his favorite musings from the Christian right in 2018. We have a special year end edition of People Are Dumb which points out some of our favorite ways people were dumb in 2018 and quite possibly the People Are Dumb stupid person of the century award. And the final Deep State Diaries of 2018 is going to explore the organization that everyone loves to hate, the IRS! Yes, we came all this way just to make an IRS joke!
Live Musical Guest: 30 Seconds To Mars

Best Of #7 - New Year's Edition (1/2/19)
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211615548

Best Of! From Idiots #5-20, we revisit the Trumper Games and it's a huge one as the President simply eliminates Tribute Sessions himself! From Idiots #5-9, after music legend Aretha Franklin passed away, conservatives desperately tried to pay their respects and well, they failed miserably. From Idiots #5-16, while Infowars is tanking everywhere after Alex Jones got banned from social media, someone is still keeping Infowars alive, but who? From Idiots #5-10, after yet another mass shooting at a gaming tournament in Florida, the NRA comes up with some extremely asinine solutions to stop the madness. From Idiots #5-8, Top 10 Investigates takes a look at an extremely disturbing trend in the funeral industry called "extreme embalming". From Idiots #5-17, our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor does a deep dive into a Christian fundamentalist hate group known as Patriot Prayer. We also debut a lost entry held over from Idiots #5-24 in which Beating A Dead Horse takes a look at the growing phenomenon of people having sex with robots, and people, don't do it! From Idiots #5-13, we ask how the neo Nazi Youtube channel Red Ice is still a thing. From Idiots #5-18, People Are Dumb takes a look at some really stupid people including a Fresno man who decided to kill spiders with a blowtorch. And from Idiots #5-12, our ongoing series about how government works, "Deep State Diaries" hangs out with the United States Navy!
Musical Guest: Gorillaz

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Reply Top 10 Conservative Idiots: The Complete 5th Season (Original post)
Top 10 Idiots Jun 2018 OP
malaise Jun 2018 #1
Top 10 Idiots Dec 2018 #2

Response to Top 10 Idiots (Original post)

Mon Jun 11, 2018, 11:18 AM

1. Bookmarking

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Response to Top 10 Idiots (Original post)

Wed Dec 19, 2018, 06:01 PM

2. Season is complete! Here is the full list!

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