If you harrass/berate/shit on someone in the service industry because you feel like doing it...

[WilliamPitt]

...you suck at life.

Period. End of file.

[Scuba]

1. My daughter works in retail and the abuse she and her co-workers take from customers is repulsive...

.... following store policy gets them yelled at, cursed at and threatened (the latter will result in a call to the cops).

After a long time dealing with a customer trying to return a non-returnable cell phone, the man told my daughter to "stick it up your ass". She was very distraught by this abuse and cried when she got home.

She's feeling better now; I gave her a strategy for next time someone suggests she "stick it"....














"I'm sorry sir, but there's and extra charge for that."

[Whisp]

48. there's something mean lurking in us

too many think you can abuse someone just because you can. And this is not reserved only for the rich.

I have a relative that is really nasty sometimes with people that don't serve her 'properly' - whatever that means, and we get into words over that because I just can't stand hearing that kind of shit like she thinks she's queen decider how someone should be at their work at minimum fucking wage yet.

and she is infecting other people close to me with that poor attitude so I have lots of 'balance' talking to do to negate that stupid shit.

[flamingdem]

133. I think some people learn this behavior from their parents

and maybe they've never had to wait tables, etc. I can't stand it but see the behavior in otherwise well mannered people. They don't seem to be able to recognize that the importance of having everything their way looks ridiculous when there are many to serve and an underpaid worker.

[Smarmie Doofus]

126. +1 Tee-hee. n/t

[FBaggins]

2. *Regardless* of the reasons behind it.

Behavior like that is inappropriate even if the motivation for your anger is justified.

[DCKit]

3. More than half the people I ever worked with in service jobs were going to college.

It never ceased to amaze me how many people didn't realize that we were, someday, going to be their bosses.

[gkhouston]

64. What amazes me is how many people don't seem aware that others will judge you by how you

treat someone you perceive as vulnerable.

[raccoon]

96. To me, that's a litmus test of a person's character. How s/he treats

people they perceive as vulnerable.

And if s/he treats them poorly, that lowers my opinion of him/her a lot.

[Trunk Monkey]

101. I used to have a boss that would call his wife and just SCREAM at her

and when she'd had enough and hung up on him he'd call her back and scream about that.

The fact that he did so in front of me let me know that
A.) He had zero respect for my opinion of him and
B.) he thought that behavior was completely OK.

[raccoon]

110. Poor woman. nt

[Trunk Monkey]

114. I ride by his home every day on my way home from work

and wonder if she still puts up w/ his shit

[NightWatcher]

5. never screw with someone who touches/serves your food

think Clerks plus Fight Club.

[WilliamPitt]

9. ...with a side of 'Waiting'

If you haven't seen it, see it.

You will never ever ever ever ever ever EVER be a dick to a server again.

[canuckledragger]

24. I found the best scene...hold your stomachs folks.

& never EVER mistreat the people that handle your food!

&feature=related

[arely staircase]

70. yeah in my case it was drivethrough window experience

I have all the sympathy in the world for anyone doing that.

[Kurovski]

10. While generally a fine theory to keep in mind, gracing food with DNA is not as common as the public

Thinks.

People who serve food can handle the indignities without resorting to the low behaviour they are confronted with. Or else they turn in the apron.

[Walk away]

26. Thanks but I won't be testing that theory anytime soon!

[99Forever]

33. Keep right on telling yourself that.

[Kurovski]

36. I worked in the business for seventeen years.

Sometimes working three jobs at once. My experience is that servers are kinder than the Average person and genuinely like people. They do not find it demeaning to serve others.

Maybe things have changed in the past decade or so.

[Tunkamerica]

88. yeah. never saw anything gross in years of working in kitchens. mostly just...

"she wants more pepper? here's some more pepper...." and then put half the shaker on the dish. Never anything gross like in the previous video clip.

[Gormy Cuss]

136. Thank you.

The servers who do something like that are just as warped in the head as the customers who treat people like dirt. I think perpetuating this myth that the servers will contaminate the food as payback makes people LESS inclined to treat their servers with respect.

[Kurovski]

137. That is a good point, i suppose it's in keeping with the current mentality that there are always

Two sides in competition. ( such 1percent-er mentality!)

It is not a battle between two factions, it's about pleasure, company, and nourishment. Two groups should have the same goal.

[-..__...]

42. "This tastes like piss and flies, doesn't it"?

[valerief]

43. Yep or has scissor at your head. nt

[Odin2005]

76. I once read a hilarious web page with stories by waiters fucking with asshole customers...

...and their food. JUSTICE is served. Literally.

[Posteritatis]

83. Even without that, people who do so are just assholes. (nt)

[Redford]

6. My daughter works in retail at an outlet store

She was told by an obnoxious woman that she was going too slow in ringing her up and she was going to come over the counter and knock her in the head.

[sibelian]

7. It's an incredibly obnoxious thing to do

It's always made me hideously embarassed to watch it happen...

[Skittles]

15. NEVER simply WATCH it happen!

the way I see it is as a customer, I have the right to say to the offender the things the poor clerk cannot - I almost salivate when I see it happen - I jump right in!!!!

[magical thyme]

29. I remember once standing in line behind an exec at our office cafeteria

He was berating the young woman at the register, who was on her first day, for being too slow.

I accidentally kicked him in the shin, and then apologized to him before berating him for berating the young woman. As in, "oh, I'm soooo sorry, I didn't see you standing there...."

[sibelian]

35. I'm obviously too British...

[Skittles]

61. me and my brother as English school kids

Peterborough!



no excuses!

[sibelian]

82. Oh, which of you is in the kilt?

[Skittles]

130. yeah, me in the kilt

[sibelian]

144. YAAAAAAYYY!!!

I'm Scottish.

[Skittles]

145. I LOVED the kilt pin

I used to stick little Brit boys in the bum if they picked on me

OOH let me tell you my Scot story - there was a bunch of Scots in town for some kind of Scotland/England game - me and a girlfriend - - on a doubledecker spotted a Scot man in kilt - giggling, we asked him if it was true they wore nothing underneath - he started to lift the kilt, then stopped and asked how old we were - SIXTEEN we said - actually we were 13 ....he looked at us and said, "I don't think so" and lowered his kilt - thereby denying us a peek!!!!

[raccoon]

97. I thought you were American. You talk like one.

[Skittles]

131. I am indeed American

child of a military dad and an English mum. Growing up, I moved back and forth between England and America.

[Cooley Hurd]

98. What a great photo, Skittles!

Is your hand about to pull out a can of Whoop-ass from your pocket?

[Skittles]

132. I don't know what is in my hand in that pic

I do remember I used to stick the Brit boys with the kilt pin if they annoyed me

[annabanana]

71. When you catch someone out behaving badly to clerks

and wait staff, it is VERY satisfying to knock them off their high horses.

[Skittles]

135. yes it IS!!!

and OMG the waitstaff will WORSHIP YOU!!!!

[Quantess]

95. And I can bet you crack open the proverbial can of whoopass on them.

Just a guess, going by some of your previous DU posts.

[Skittles]

134. CORRECT!!!

[Populist_Prole]

8. Good thread. Nothing makes me madder

When I'm with somebody who acts that way to a service or retail employee, I take it as a personal insult as on behalf of the working class and let the speaker know my displeasure in a very pointed manner.

There's nothing worse than a self-appointed sore winner. Nothing.

[freshwest]

28. +1

[smirkymonkey]

127. Same here, and interestingly enough my kindness is usually returned. I also stick up for them when

they are confronted by an a**hole patron and if I go on a date who treats the waitstaff or other "little people" rudely, that is the last date with him. Period.

[Populist_Prole]

129. Actually that's a good way to test a person

If you dine out with a date and he or she treats the waitstaff with contempt, that's a sign to call it quits with that person, as they'll be even worse as relations progress and they feel more comfortable.

[smirkymonkey]

141. Because, eventually, they'll end up treating you that way.

[Marrah_G]

11. I worked for a year at a well known pharmacy chain part time

I can tell you, the extra money was barely worth the crap we had to deal with- I finally quit, not only because I was moving, but because to be honest, minimum wage was just not worth the working conditions and putting up with people's crap.

[TheFarseer]

103. I used to work at Walgreens

I was in cameras but had to help in Pharmacy sometimes. OMG, no one's god damn insurance was ever right so we had to figure that crap out with almost every customer and if their insurance wouldn't pay for enough, in their opinion, then we had problems, sometimes over a single dollar.

[HappyMe]

12. Sometimes I wonder if people do

this because they know they can get away with it.

This kind of behaviour is just pathetic asshatery of the highest order.

[darkangel218]

16. Yes they know they can get away with their power trips, so they do it.

I am planning on going back to school for nursing, and from what I heard its even worse. I guess we just have to grow a thicker skin and not let it get to us.

[HappyMe]

19. If a patient loses it,

they at least have the excuse of pain, illness and may be just plain afraid.

There's nothing that justifies what this guy did.

[azurnoir]

52. yep

I'm a CMA and have had weird things happen such a young women who was in clinic for an every 3 month shot that has to be given in a large muscle tell me "you better make it not hurt-bitch" now she's bare butted bent over an exam table and I have a 21 gauge 1-1/2" long needle and she's going to address me as "bitch'?!!?! But this "bitch" has ethics and really doesn't want to hurt anyone so of course I did my best to make it not hurt, but depending on where you are working be prepared

[eilen]

102. I particularly enjoy giving shots to assholes. I would find an 18 gauge for that one. nt

[CrispyQ]

31. A lot of these people get pushed around at work, at home, where ever,

& when they finally have a chance to do the same to someone else, without repercussion, they do.

It is also the same mindset that wants to destroy unions instead of fighting for better wages for everyone. They are oppressed, they know they are oppressed, & yet they do not fight their oppressors, but rather crap on others who are also oppressed.

Can one even reason with people like this?

It truly is "pathetic asshatery of the highest order."

[femrap]

62. h

Last edited Tue Aug 21, 2012, 07:11 PM - Edit history (1)

[CrispyQ]

63. "I just want to be a hermit."

~lol! Hubby & I are like that too!

You are so spot on about the meanness. And the rudeness. It's unbelievable. The grocery store is one of my least favorite places to go. An ideal weekend for us is to have everything we need so we don't have to go out except to walk the dog & exercise. I try to do all errands on Friday morning to avoid the Saturday madness.

[noamnety]

106. I feel like I'm living in a different universe than you guys.

I'm generally an introvert but lately it seems like everyone is super chatty in the lines at stores, and in a nice way - I've been enjoying conversations there. At Aldi's last time we were trading workout stories - and also at Aldi's sometimes I've covered a few bucks in groceries when the person ahead didn't realize they needed a debit card (they don't take credit there), and once when I asked about the price of a tomato then said I'd skip it because it was too high, the person behind me insisted on buying it for me.

It's across the board though - Aldi's which is a chain, the local independent fruit and veggie market, salvation army, free tuesdays at sears - and it seems just like the longer the line, the more people start talking to each other and it ends up being a social outing.

[Sherman A1]

85. Precisely

Just went through 4 hours of training yesterday on how to "Wow" the customers and this was one thing brought up (of which we have all known for a very long time). "Kick the dog" is the my name for it as well.

[FSogol]

13. Whenever I was dating, I'd see how my date treated busboys, waiters, cashiers, etc.

Bad to the help? See you later.

[CrispyQ]

34. Me too.

I think it's a great glimpse into someones character.

[Freddie]

39. Someone who is rude to a waitress

Is just a bad person, period. Test of character.

[BrendaBrick]

47. Yep. Very Telling. n/t

[uponit7771]

55. +1

[Tunkamerica]

89. A well known test that assholes make sure to pass

[IndyJones]

139. I did that, too! I thought it was a great test of character to see how they treated service

industry workers.

[Skittles]

14. NOT ME

my favorite example happened around Christmas time:

I was behind a woman in line at a Kohl's checkout counter - this woman was SCREAMING at the clerk...so I asked her, "SO - are you always a bitch, or just around the holidays?" She was shocked and said to me, "WELL I NEVER!" so I replied, "MAYBE THAT'S THE REASON." She stormed out and the clerk looked at me with undisguised admiration and cooed, "YOU'RE MY HERO!!!"

[agent46]

17. You have also failed...

to learn the lessons of fight club.

[Major Nikon]

18. The reason people do it is because they know the employee can't talk back to them

It's really pathetic if you think about it.

[LooseWilly]

87. Sure the employee can talk back... problem is, most of the employees don't realize it.

They buy the bullshit of the managers/supervisors... and they make the mistake of thinking that it'll be hard to get another retail job if they tell a customer to go fuck themselves (assuming the customer thinks to complain to someone who cares enough to do shit about it).

A friend, working as a barista once upon a time, had an obnoxious a-hole talking shit to him... and he just looked Dude in the eye and said "You know, it's really just a fiction, the notion that I can't come around to the other side of this counter and beat the shit out of you... so, would you like to re-phrase that?"

Don't make the mistake of thinking all us retail/service employees buy into the hype of our powerlessness in the face of the douche bags. The ones worth the effort, will get some treatment at some point... Maybe not at the hands of the 19-year-olds working a summer before going to college... but a grizzled old asshole whose locked out of other job prospects because of offshoring and health insurance expenses associated with possibly hiring him/her... fuck with us at your peril, we haven't much to lose.

[Major Nikon]

94. I think most retail employees realize they won't get away with it without being fired

Even if it's not hard to get another retail job, they are still facing the prospect of going a week or two without pay even if they can get another job right away, which is not a given in this economy with no referral from the last job. Plus there's the hassle of unemployment, looking for another job, etc., when most of them are going to be living paycheck to paycheck. It might be satisfying to bring up the few occasions when an employee did actually talk back, but I just don't see how anyone is going to be worth that effort regardless of how much of an asshole they are. In the end, the asshole wins and they know it.

[Initech]

20. I got insulted by a telemarketer the other day.

And I just answer phones where I work most of the time. The whole thing just left me the rest of the day.

[Booster]

21. Never. Maybe I'm just lucky, but I can't even remember the last time I had bad service from anybody

in the service field. Oh, wait. Not long ago I had a run-in with a guy on the phone when I was trying to cancel a subscription. He wasn't having any of my reasons for cancelling and I finally said "never mind, I'll cancel it through my bank". He said "fine, then go back to your stupid little life". I laughed and said ok. But face-to-face, one-on-one it just never happens. I think it's mainly because I know I couldn't possibly do their job, especially waiters/waitresses.

[reflection]

22. I brought up an incident about this recently

because the story resonated with me

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10021014273

I was surprised at the ending...

http://www.servernotservant.com/2012/07/31/game-over/

[CrispyQ]

38. A most excellent on that restaurant manager/owner!

[Wait Wut]

23. Absolutely.

My DIL works at a sushi restaurant and gets shit from some customers about her very heavy JAPANESE accent and ask her rude questions about why she can't speak better English, why did she move here, why did she marry an American. Although, she did say that some customers are TOO nice and want to know every detail about her life and Japan/Okinawa. "But, they tip good so I answer."

She's the sweetest little thing in the world and I'll damage anyone that hurts her feelings. I almost had to roll an old Walmart cashier because she gave my DIL attitude. It would have embarrassed my DIL, though...so, I waited until next time and just tossed out a little comment...and a big smile.

[freshwest]

25. Agreed. People that seek to aggrandize themselves on the servants this way suck.

I saw an older woman, my age, go off on a young Asian clerk one day shopping with a friend. Over her accent, FFS! She said 'You should learn to speak English if you want a job here.' No one else had any problem understanding her, and she was speaking English!

Everyone in the line stared at this hateful spectacle. The lovely young girl, slim as reed with hair down to her waist, stood there stunned and looked near to tears. The young lady was flinching from every word. We tried to intervene, with a few coughs, but the woman continued her bombast as the crowd's murmurs and comments got louder. And I asked my girl friend, 'It ain't pretty when the estrogen leaves, is it?'

After we got louder in our murmurs, the hateful woman finally left, still huffing. She was in her own little world, like that guy Adam Smith. Then almost everyone in the store went up and complimented the young lady to make up for Her Rudeship.

It's not a crime. Maybe these folks should try standing there on their feet all day long and taking abuse for minimum wage. I don't know how else to teach them empathy, since nothing else appears to have worked.

[susanr516]

59. You all did a wonderful thing

and that clerk will never forget it.

Almost 40 years ago, I worked in a pizza restaurant. A young man came in, ordered a pizza with everything and said, "No hot stuff." So I sent the order in with instructions to cut the jalapenos. When the pizza was ready, I called his number, he walked up to the counter, starts to pick up his pizza and then yells, "I said no fucking hot stuff!" I apologized, took the pizza back and looked at it--not one jalapeno on it. I told him there were no jalapenos on it, and he screamed he could "smell the fucking hot stuff on it." I put the pizza on the counter and asked him what ingredients he wanted removed, because I couldn't determine what he was smelling that was hot. He kept yelling that I was a fucking idiot and all he wanted was a pizza with "no hot stuff." By now, there's 10-15 customers in line and they're not happy about the delay. I told him he had 2 options: I could refund his money, or I could order a new pizza, using my own judgment about "hot stuff," but I couldn't guarantee it would be acceptable to him. He agreed to the refund and stalked out to a chorus of waiting customers calling him "Asshole!" When the door shut behind him, the other customers applauded me. I broke down and cried because everyone else was so nice.

Forty years later, I still remember the kindness of those customers.

[nichomachus]

27. I always judge a person by the way they treat service workers

If I'm I'm having lunch with someone and they treat the waitstaff like servants, I have a very low opinion of that person. In business, it often tells me all I need to know about that person's integrity.

I was having lunch with a guy one day -- pretty well off -- and the waiters and waitresses were wearing name tags and introduced themselves. This guy introduced himself to them and explained to me, "If I'm going to call them by their first name, they should know who I am." I thought that was classy.

[Walk away]

30. My business is basically a service business but I am much sought after...

with a long waiting list. If I don't like the way I'm treated I just fire my clients on the spot. Sometimes there is a bit of a backlash but it's worth it. I don't take shit from anyone and my entire client list are the sweetest people in the world. Most are Democrats and the ones that aren't are way too scared to utter right wing bullshit in my presence.

It's good to be the queen!

[Yavin4]

32. The Source for All of Our Economic, Political, Financial, and Social Problems Is....

our consumer based economy. Consumption has made us impatient, impolite, and rude. Some of us feel entitled to berate customer service representatives because we see them as lower status because of their job.

[HiPointDem]

46. huh? you have to consume to live. people have always consumed & traded, i don't think that

has anything to do with why people are rude.

it's the status/class difference, absolutely. people are wary of being rude to equals & superiors -- "inferiors" are safe targets.

[Yavin4]

50. In the past, we had a balance between consumption and production

We made things and we bought things. When we made the things that we bought, we understood how difficult it could be to actually make something. Producing goods gave us a sense of pride and solidarity with our fellow workers.

Starting in the 1980s, when we began this switch to a primarily consumption-based economy, our economy has focused on us being able to buy things instead of making them. We've lost our solidarity with our fellow workers. We look down on people who work at McDonalds.

IOW, we've become disconnected to the things that we buy and the difficulties it takes to make them. We only focus on getting what we want as soon as possible.

[HiPointDem]

51. oh, i see what you mean. not sure "consumption society" is the right term, though.

[stopwastingmymoney]

68. It's similar to this

When you grow food, even just a little, you understand how much effort (and water) it takes.

I find that I appreciate food more and I hate to waste anything.

[HiPointDem]

86. i understand. just saying, 'consumption society' doesn't really express that, imo.

[Tunkamerica]

90. maybe you do. but most people realize they're in the same boat.

I am on the phone constantly with different tech support for different products and we all treat each other pretty much the same. We're all working for less than we're worth and doing jobs we don't enjoy. There's a huge underground society of discontented assholes who are just waiting for a reason or an opportunity to rebel.

[Poll_Blind]

37. I was cleaning my anger while waiting in line at Starbucks- and it just went off! nt

PB

[4th law of robotics]

40. It's bullying plain and simple

you know they have to stand there and take whatever you say because if they don't they will lose a crappy job that they probably depend on.

Not to mention that if you're doing it because you don't like the company you are an idiot. The waiter isn't setting policy.

[Comrade_McKenzie]

41. Spending a night or two in jail for it would correct the problem...

And we could create jobs by building extra holding cells for all the people that make shitty jobs even more unbearable.

[geardaddy]

44. A head waiter recently told me of a story about a customer.

He was trying to budge in line to get a table and the head waiter asked to step back in line. To this the rude customer said, "Fuck you!" To which the waiter said, "Show me the way and I'll go with you."

[Walk away]

77. That's kind of sad and submissive sounding :-(

[Kurovski]

107. Sounds more like a "Power Bottom"

Different strokes, different folks...and all that jazz.

[geardaddy]

142. I think what he was saying was that the guy should go fuck himself.

[-..__...]

45. "Rachel Needs a Vacation" fund raiser...

it worked for the school bus granny, but I have a feeling if these sympathetic fund raising efforts become a trend, people will lose interest real quick, or people will stage/fake incidents...

http://www.indiegogo.com/Chick-fil-A-Rachel

[cecilfirefox]

49. The real trick is being the customer behind them when it happens and SAYING SOMETHING.

If I see stuff like that in the service industry I'll raise hell, and loudly, and I'll tell you something... I got a sharp tongue and I'll be meaner then a snake. No mercy for those people- they are bullies, pure and simple, so when I see them bullying... Well, time to bully them.

[LeftofObama]

56. Same here!

I don't let it slide, or pretend that I don't hear the person in front of me being rude. I go off with both barrels. I've lived too long and put up with enough shit myself to watch someone berate anyone in customer service.

[begin_within]

73. I was in that kind of situation recently...

At a 7-11 convenience store, there was a line of about 10 people, and I was next after this lady with frizzy blond hair, looking about 70, who was buying a money order. She had to count out what must have been about $300 or so and it took a long time. We all just waited and just when they were done, a teenage black girl came in and stood next to her and asked to buy cigarettes.

I didn't say anything at first. Then the clerk half-heartedly mumbled to her, "There's the line" but she insisted she was with the lady who bought the money order. Then I said, "Here's the line, here" and pointed to the line of people. The blond lady said, "She's my daughter! She's with me!" I said to the girl, "no, you just walked in, I saw you." She said, "I just went to the ATM to get the cash!" which was odd, because she could have stayed in line and easily could have paid for her cigarettes with her ATM card.

I felt like saying, "She doesn't look like your daughter" but of course I did not say that, she could have been adopted for all I know. But as the girl was buying her cigarettes I calmly said, "You're a cheater," to which she said nothing. After I completed my purchase I had to pass their car and one of them yelled out at me, "I hope you enjoy your coffee." I got in the car thinking, "well at least I'll never see them again." Then I drove to the Post office, just 2 blocks away, parked and when I got in the post office they were there in the line... so I walked out and went to a different post office.

[Citizen Worker]

53. Reminds me of a story a friend told me years ago. He was on an out of town job as a painter with a

crew of four. They regularly patronized a run of the mill eatery. One day dissatisfied with the service my friend left a 3 cent tip as an insult. A year or two later they were back at the same place and the same wait person was serving. When the crew was done with their meal and as the table was being cleared the wait person took three pennies and slammed them down on the table saying, "I believe you left these here on your last visit." My friend was embarassed and I laughed a good long laugh.

[Tunkamerica]

91. funny

a waiter and a painter mad about pennies.

no further comment.

[DallasNE]

54. Much Of It Is Race Based Too Boot

My daughter has a friend that works part time at McDonalds and there is not a week that goes by that some white trash doesn't shout the N-word at this mixed race friend. Recently one not only shouted the N-word but also gave this person a shove. The streets are mean and getting meaner.

[chknltl]

57. 'Pretty in/Pretty' out. (as opposed to 'garbage in/garbage' out).

Being nice to service industry individuals, especially those in food service can pay back dividends....not that that is the main reason for being nice to them.

I have noticed that being overtly nice in resturaunts often times creates a ripple effect. One example, when your waiter/waitress is about to complete your order ask them how they manage to do such a physically strenuous job, putting all those miles on their feet each day must take a lot out of them. (It is true, endurance is an unsung key attribute to being successful out on the floor). Be genuine when pointing this out and you have just made a friend out of your server with the bonus that their day just got a little nicer. They will remember you in a good way the next time you eat there.

Tiny gestures of verbal kindness like this repeated throughout ones day, every day tends to make the giver and the receiver's day a little brighter and truly makes life as a whole feel more.....well more pleasant. I am serious when I say it, if you need a mood uplift, deliberately go out of your way to uplift the mood of the folks you encounter and watch as your mood changes too.

Another perfect example of the 'ripple effect of being nice' phenomenon, go spend a few moments with fellow DUer California Peggy. She is a world champion when it comes to spreading the 'Pretty'. If you don't come away from that conversation with a smile on your mug, well...you ain't breathing. Now THAT'S what I am talking about when I say: Pretty in/Pretty out.

[stopwastingmymoney]

69. It's karma in the micro

I agree with you about Peggy too, she's so nice!

[Tunkamerica]

92. Almost like they're real people... maybe they'll give you free pie.

[Blanks]

58. I used to work at the county appraisers office; measuring houses in Kansas.

Just for fun sometime - go to a red state, knock on the door at 9:00 in the morning and say "good morning, I'm from the county appraisers office".

Occasionaly folks are pleasant. Apparently, and I didn't know it at the time, but all branches of the government and at every level of the government are working together. This was the early 90's; I'll bet there are even better conspiracy theories now.

I'm never mean to anyone at a counter, or at a register, or cleaning tables; they've just got a job to do. There isn't anything to gain by being mean to them.

[Cairycat]

60. I'm a lunch lady in an elementary school

and it astonishes me when kids are rude and bossy with me. I think "What on earth are they learning from their parents?" I let them know that they are sounding rude and that I expect to hear "please" and "thank you" from them. I figure manners are the little bit of teaching I do.

[BrendaBrick]

66. Sounds like you are on the front-lines there Cairycat,

I'm so glad that you step up to the plate and let them know that they are sounding rude and bossy and that you expect to hear please and thank-you...otherwise, they probably would not have any idea that there is another way in which to behave!

You're an educator in your own right - to be sure!

I swear, I just don't know what is going on in this country anymore. I run across this sometimes in everyday life. When I see a youngster like that acting up - I just look at them with compassion in my eyes and gently shake my head *no* - not so much as a scorn but more so as just a general direction on which to not behave because obviously the parents aren't taking the time to teach them how to respect others. They don't know any better. It's not their fault. They just lack appropriate direction...which is kind of sad.

Though I might be straying off the subject here a bit - I recall hearing about an incident in the 1950's in which Aurthur Godfrey publicly humiliated somebody on his show and the ensuing public outrage was such that he was either eventually fired or greatly chastised by the general public's response to the humiliation. (Sorry, can't recall the actual details.) Far cry from the other extreme of what is on the TV nowadays where acts of public humiliation are not only accepted - but actually applauded. Talk about warped!

[GoneOffShore]

65. I got out of the service industry because I realized that the customers

were making my life miserable.

I don't think the customer is always wrong, but they're not always right either.

And some people go out to have a really rotten time.

[WillyT]

67. I Used To Tell My Fellow Service Workers... "We Are Here To Serve Them, But...

We Are NOT Their Servants!"



& Rec !!!

[begin_within]

72. D.Z. Akin's has a note on the menu, "Too much aggravation to server, $1 surcharge."

[Odin2005]

75. I have noticed that more money a person has, the more likely they are to shit on waiters.

I suspect its classism at work.

[patrice]

78. One of THE most revealing behaviors ever.

[Suji to Seoul]

79. I only berate when needed. . .like when my service is shitty, my server has an attitude problem and

thinks them doing their job is a favor to me, or service is slow and the bill is fast! Even then, I do it politely unless I get an attitude of the worst kind.

Other than that, I am a huge tipper and extremely polite. I worked as a bartender in University. I know exactly how shitty people are to service employees.

Here in China, service employees are treated like four class citizens.

[SheilaT]

80. I was for ten years a ticket agent at National Airport in Washington, DC.

It's not retail, and it's not waiting tables, but it is one of the incredibly difficult front line jobs of the service industry. I often tell people that nothing I have done since then, including childbirth, has been half as difficult. And on that note, some years later after I'd had my first child, I was in a support group of first time parents. At one meeting another mom sighed and said, "This is the hardest job I've ever had." I looked at her in astonishment and replied, "I can't imagine a job as easy as this."

One of the things we agents all agree on was that you could tell which passengers themselves worked with the public. And we didn't mean doctors or lawyers or anyone else who is in control of what happens. No, we meant the retail clerks and the restaurant servers and all those who have to stand there and put up with whatever is dealt out to them. We were almost always treated well by our fellow servers, and many of them saw how very difficult our jobs were (I'm talking about when flights were delayed or cancelled) and gave us much sympathy.

There are many stories to tell. One is of a regular passenger, Mr. Richards. I first knew him when I worked for Mohawk Airlines, a small airline headquartered out of Utica, NY. Mr. Richards flew regularly between Albany and DC, and had a wonderful and touching loyalty to Mohawk. Even if our flight was running late, we could not switch him over to Allegheny, our competitor on that route. Nope. He'd stick with Mohawk, thank you very much. Then, in 1972, Allegheny took over Mohawk, and there was Mr. Richards, proclaiming Allegheny the Pan Am of Pennsylvania (it was headquartered in Pittsburgh) and transferring every bit of his wonderful loyalty over to Allegheny. What I remember best is one evening when all the flights were delayed, and the passengers were understandably unhappy. Mr. Richards, who was a large man with a loud voice, took exception to one passenger who complained more than Mr. R though appropriate. After putting that passenger in his place, he went down the hall to the candy shop, bought a large box of candy, and presented it to us, the hard-working agents on the ticket counter. You are probably not surprised to learn that we agents all adored Mr. Richards.

There are service jobs and there are service jobs. I think the real key is if you deal with the public in some way that means you have absolutely no control over who you must serve. That was what the airline job was like. That's what waiting tables must be like. That's what working in retail -- which I've done and left me the most depressed I've ever been -- is like. I'm sure I'm missing some categories.

I learned a valuable lesson many years ago from a woman who was a cocktail waitress about tipping. Suffice it to say, I will always tip well, and I sincerely wish I were rich enough to always leave a hundred dollar bill. I know I have tried very hard to make my sons understand how important it is to tip well.

Something else. Even though there are many jobs where the employees must deal with the public, and it's very easy to get frustrated and think, Why doesn't this person just do the job! I have figured out that if you praise someone extravagantly for doing their job, it pays off. Many a time I will say something like, "I don't mean to be difficult, but can you do this or that for me?", or "I know it's asking a lot, but could you do this for me?" and I get much better service than if I simply implied, "Do it!" Especially these days, when so many people are not paid that well, when working conditions have often deteriorated, making it clear that you appreciate whatever effort they've gone to, pays off. Sometimes when I'm doing this (such as when dealing with a state or county or city employee) I can feel crazy because it REALLY is their job, and I shouldn't need to behave this way, but it's worth it. I will get whatever I'm asking for and quickly. My problem will be solved. I won't be charged. Something like that.

I am not a conventionally religious person. What I believe is that we are here to help each other out, to be good to each other. I don't always live up to my beliefs, but I'm trying.

[Stonepounder]

81. I've never understood people who feel the need to act badly.

I'm a very firm believer in constructive complaining. If service is not up to what I think it should be, then I let someone know. But you can complain without blaming the poor service person, because it usually isn't their fault. If food isn't good in a restaurant, I will send it back, but I do it politely and courteously. It isn't the server's fault. By the same token, if the food or the service is particularly good, I will ask for the manager and let them know that as well. It has been my experience that you can catch so many more flies with honey than you can with vinegar.

I number of years ago I needed to buy a new office chair for my home office. There was a large office supply story close to my office. I tried 3 different times to go in and buy a chair. All three times the chair I picked out was 'out of stock' at that store. Not once did the clerk offer to check and see if another branch had the chair I wanted, not once did the clerk try and show me a comparable chair. Just a 'sorry we don't have that one in stock'. So, I sat down and wrote a letter to the CEO at the home office (the internet is a wonderful thing). I then went back in, found a chair I liked, and when I was told it was 'out of stock', asked if they could order it for me. Turns out they could.

So, a couple of weeks go by and I get a call that my chair is in and I should come in and ask for Chuck. So I head over to the store, find a clerk and ask for 'Chuck'. His response was 'which one?'. I started to explain that I had gotten a phone call and all the caller told me was to ask for 'Chuck'. The clerk's attitude was that if I didn't know which Chuck, he wasn't interested in helping me figure it out. Then I told him it was about a computer chair.

His entire attitude changed. He looked at me and said, 'You're the guy who wrote the letter!'. It seems that the CEO actually read the letter, then had a copy made for every store in the chain with instructions that there be an 'all-hands' meeting in every store and the letter read to all employees, with instructions that the CEO had better net ever get another letter like it. (BTW, the letter was polite but pointed. I said there were lots of Office Supply stores selling basically the same stuff and that the only thing that made one stand out from another was service.) The CEO agreed with me completely and told his staff in no uncertain terms.

And I didn't make a single person mad at me or make anyone feel demeaned. I firmly believe that the vast majority of people want to do a good job and try hard to do it. Berating them only make you look like a complete idiot.

[HillWilliam]

120. There is a *LOT* to that

My parents always taught me there is a fine art to complaining. First, only complain when there is something truly to complain about. Second, offer an honest, constructive suggestion on how to improve the situation. Third and above all, be polite and to the point. It would appear you followed their rules to a tee. Those have nearly always worked for me. "Please", "thank you", "may I", "would you mind..", etc go a long, long way for someone who's already had a long, long day. In the south, we don't consider "yes, ma'am" or "no, sir" subservient; any more it's sign of mutual respect. At least it is in the circles where I'm used to travelling (mostly central NC and southside VA). I even say "thank you ma'am" my dogs when they perform a task. (Our household puts great stock in mutual respect. We treasure our friendship and believe it keeps our love strong.)

Bitching about poor service or product isn't enough. Anyone can complain. The smart customer can help the smart business come up with the better mousetrap, making the experience better for everyone involved.

The idiots will sink on their own.

Welcome to DU!

[siouxsiecreamcheese]

84. I think everyone should be required to work in the service industry at least once..

It can really reveal so much about how crappy human beings can be. I was a cashier in college, and later did some customer service stuff on phones. People don't think twice about being rude to people. I remember I was working at the front desk of a grocery store once, and this old guy comes in and starts yelling at me, La Seur Peas!!! I was like excuse me? how can I help you? he again screams La Seur peas!! okkk, well I don't know what your talking about.. he says the La Seur peas in the flyer where are they! I said they should be in aisle 4 (or whatever) canned vegetable aisle. Apparently, this wasn't a good enough explanation so he took the stack of flyers on the counter and threw them at me. I just stand there dumbfounded at this man's idiocy. What the hell was I supposed to do? take him by the hand and lead him to his peas?? I was the only one at the counter at the time and couldn't leave so that was out of the question. I was basically assaulted with flyers by this asshole, and he gets to go off and do this again to some other defenseless person. All this and I was paid the hefty sum of 4.50 an hour (at the time this was minimum wage), no health care, no full time, just abuse and crap flung at me. I have no respect for anyone that abuses someone in the service industry. It pisses me off. Now that I'm no longer in those types of jobs, every time I see someone being abused like that, I want to jump over the counter and hug them and then beat the crap out of the abuser.

[slackmaster]

93. Yes, it's a real eye-opener

BTDT.

[nadine_mn]

146. "La Seur peas" oh that made me laugh

I worked as a cashier at a grocery store that also sold liquor and one night a woman came in yelling "Where your bumpy face at?" and I said "excuse me" and she said real slow.."you know...bumpy face! where your bumpy face at?"

I was so confused, thought maybe she meant an employee (you know with acne, hell I didn't know) and she was getting pissed at me. Finally another employee heard and intervened...she meant Seagram's liquor because the bottle is bumpy.

To this day, I still can hear her yelling "bumpy face" whenever I go to the liquor store

[Doc Holliday]

99. My daughter

worked her way through her first year of college as a night clerk at a La Quinta hotel. (For the non-linguists, I am reliably informed that La Quinta is Texican for "next door to Denny's.&quot I used to come down and keep her company on occasion during the wee hours; the hotel was in a borderline neighborhood and weird stuff happens sometimes after the bars close.

One night a rather obnoxious drunk came in and wanted a room. She patiently dealt with this guy, getting his key together and getting his payment, going through her spiel while ignoring the dumbness and inappropriate personal remarks that often fall out of the mouths of drunks, none of it the least bit original. I'm sure most of you ladies have heard it all (or some variant thereof) before. She handed him his key-card, reminded him that checkout time was 11:00 a.m., and please buzz the desk if he needed anything. He gave her what he no doubt thought was a seductive look, and asked her to come up to the room for about fifteen minutes or so and help him get "settled in." He made it plain that there would be a sizable tip involved.

Up until now, they had been speaking in soft conversational tones. My little girl just smiled and said, "Oh, I'm sorry, sir...I really can't leave the desk right now. But wait...." (raises her voice) "Dad? Would you like to show this gentleman to his room? I can't go now. Would you mind?"

I put down my magazine, stood up and walked over to the counter. (I'm about average size for a Texan-- 6'3", 205) My clever brat said, "This is my father; he helps out here sometimes. He'll be happy to help you settle in." I looked down at this guy, who was probably only about 5'8" or so, and gave out the deepest voice I could muster (thinking of Lurch, no doubt), asking him, "Any bags?"

He looked at me....looked at her....and said, "Uh, no. Thank you, sir, I think I can find it," and walked away briskly....perhaps hearing my little girl's parting shot: "Do enjoy your stay, sir!"

While I truly take no joy from the misfortunes of others, there's not much I enjoy more than watching (and sometimes helping) an asshole get his/her comeuppance.

[Trunk Monkey]

100. I work as a security guard

I work as a security guard one of the least respected fields there is. My current gig isn’t so bad because most of the time I don’t have to deal w/ people but I have worked sites where the guards are treated like absolute shit. I make appoint of going out of my way to be polite to servers and if I get good service I ask to see the manager and compliment the worker’s performance and make sure the worker is there to hear it.
Maybe good karma will come of it.

[bayareaboy]

104. I learned fast that as a Civil Servant you have even less rights ...

then most service level jobs.

I worked for the Berkeley Parks Dept, for 15yrs. I finally learned after having things thrown at me and being spit-on, that you just turn around and head to the truck, get in and turn the key, and leave Mr. or Ms. to take out their BS on somebody else.

[elbloggoZY27]

105. Respect and a Hello/Good morning

Where I work the cleaning staff are called Housekeeping which is very appropriate. They are men and women who work very hard for no real glory. Every morning or during the day I say hello to these folks. My fancy job is put into prospective and I respect those in Housekeeping. You know who you are and thanks from this citizen who has a job in these very trying times in the United States and around the World.

[Zorra]

108. I have zero tolerance for petty tyrants.

My annoying lack of tact and tendency to be direct and creatively crude renders me incapable of working in a service industry, or work for/with conservatives.

[area51]

109. +1 n/t

[lunasun]

111. It happens on both sides of the aisle IMO

civility please

[RebelOne]

112. I have never harassed, berated or insulted a service worker.

I did a short stint working as a waitress. My ex-boyfriend owned a restaurant in Miami and his nighttime waitress quit on him. He asked me to help him out and I did for a couple of weeks. And that is not a job of which I would want to make a career. But that short period taught me what a difficult time servers have.

[mwooldri]

113. Agreed. I'm in telephone customer service.

I am fortunate. Tools like the hold button, or transfer to management works for me. In extreme cases a disconnection also works.

My employers do tolerate *some* abuse (and in my role I am to expect some mild abuse very occasionally), but if there is evidence that the customer is being repeatedly abusive to customer service reps, senior management will cancel the customer, and advise the customer that they are now an ex-customer and that we no longer want their business. It's rare but I have seen it happen, and if I see the notes of repeated abuse, I make the recommendation to management to do just that. It's one of those instances that we *recommend* that the ex-communicated customer take their business to Bank of America, or Citibank, or Chase.

Add to edit: I know some people who work for Citi in the call center near here... they advise me that they are even more aggressive on abuse than us, that they do have a 3 strike rule - first two strikes are a straightforward disconnect, 3rd is permanent cancellation.

[backscatter712]

115. I've worked burger-flipping jobs myself when I was younger.

I'm never an asshole to restaurant/service workers. They put up with way too much bullshit without me making things worse.

[JonLP24]

116. I don't think

that in most cases people do it just because they feel like it doing. They can't seperate that the company who is responsible for it's actions hired that person who isn't at fault to take the abuse.

That said, I agree with this thread. My ex-wife worked customer service and often came home drained. Because of her I'm extra careful not to act that way.

[crazyjoe]

117. You mean like this?

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10021072351

[NYC_SKP]

143. ^^^^^Precisely Like THAT^^^^^

Bully, tyrant, and she ambushed the salesperson.

[sarcasmo]

118. I always tip well and the wife didn't get it at first.

When I explained to her how nasty people could be to service workers, she understood. Former Taxi driver so I have quite a few examples of nasty.

[Honeycombe8]

119. Agree. nt

[TransitJohn]

121. I only berate them when they're incompetent.

I'll roll my eyes some if they're merely distracted and don't give me their attention.

Buying hardware from an 18-year-old is frustrating.

[Zax2me]

122. I agree -

http://azstarnet.com/news/local/tucson-exec-loses-job-over-anti-chick-fil-a-rant/article_f8cefeec-dcf5-11e1-8b88-001a4bcf887a.html

[Bonobo]

123. People in the service industry OWE you good service.

And it doesn't matter one bit what kind of a day or week they are having.

It doesn't matter what happens in their private time. On the job, only their outward behavior matters.

Then, when they go to a store or whatever, they should expect, as a customer, to get good service because THEN and only then they are customers. That's how it works.

When they are on the job, in a service job, they should provide good service. Period.

If they do not, they suck at their job.

[Zorra]

124. Nobody getting paid $7.50 an hr owes anyone who abuses them anything.

Except maybe a fresh snotty loogie on their greasy Chik-fil-a sandwich.

Abusers are losers.

Be a petty tyrant to some poor desperate person trying to survive on $7.50 an hr and you may get exactly what you deserve in return.

[Bonobo]

125. Yes they do.

It is their job.

It is not a transaction in which you get good service for being nice.

Their job is to give good service.

In Japan, there is no tipping. So why is service ALWAYS good?

I think the answer lies in the Western sense of entitlement.

If $7.50 is not enough, their complaint belongs with the owner and not the customers.

Are their asshole customers? Yes. And a professional service person does NOT have to take abuse, true. There are ways of handling it that do not involve being unprofessional.

Ultimately professionalism is the issue as is the need for the service person to remember that when they are at work, they represent the organization they work for and are not, at that moment, an individual VS> a customer.

[Zorra]

128. "Western sense of entitlement"? LOL. Yeah, I suppose that's true...

We Americans have, historically, been an independent bunch; we have a long history of totally understanding the things we are naturally entitled to, and not taking abuse in the name of security and deference to authority.

It's their job? So what? Desperate people forced to work for less money than it takes to live on because ownership has figured out how to enslave them by controlling the system?

And they should be professional, unswervingly loyal, and grateful to their noble masters for this? Because there's always another poor desperate sucker waiting to take their job?

I don't think so. You abuse someone making $7.50 hr. unnecessarily, you totally earned and deserve your shit sandwich.

Here is the classic example of our western entitlement...

...IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them,a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.

[WilliamPitt]

138. It gives me a tremendous sense of pride in and gratitude for my fellow DUers

...to see just how infinitesimal, marginal, puny and insignificant your opinion is on this matter.

[Lone_Star_Dem]

140. I've never understood people who belittle service workers.

I go out of my way to be polite and respectful. I know how a bad customer can turn an otherwise good day into a nightmare. I do not want to be that customer. Ever.