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Taverner

(55,476 posts)
Thu Aug 2, 2012, 12:53 PM Aug 2012

Why is it if a woman has sex, people say it's "self esteem issues"????

Why not "because it's fun"?

Because that's the real reason we humans have sex. That is, unless we're slaves of some "sex-for-babies-only" cult like Christianity, Islam or, well, shit pretty much EVERY RELIGION....

You read the gossip rags, and Starlet X had sex with Star Y because she has self esteem issues.

WTF?

Same goes for any high school counselor or teacher when asked why student z dresses in miniskirts and likes to have a lot of sex.

If it's a guy, it's assuymed they had it because it was fun.

But if it's a woman, it's always self esteem.

Because, dog knows with that clitoris with 2x the nerve endings a woman can't possibly enjoy sex...

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Why is it if a woman has sex, people say it's "self esteem issues"???? (Original Post) Taverner Aug 2012 OP
Because men, particularly the religious types.... arbusto_baboso Aug 2012 #1
Get out of the house more, Tav Bucky Aug 2012 #2
What Bucky and hedgehog said. greatauntoftriplets Aug 2012 #5
the "people who say" are... Berlum Aug 2012 #6
and... Berlum Aug 2012 #7
No, Christianity and Islam are sex-positive religions! Taverner Aug 2012 #9
Maybe people don't gossip about healthy women having sex for fun with people who are their equals, hedgehog Aug 2012 #3
People gossip, period.. Fumesucker Aug 2012 #8
LOL! so true darkangel218 Aug 2012 #4
Because women enjoying sex is still considered uncouth and vulgar by many. Odin2005 Aug 2012 #10
Because "boys will be boys" and girls are "victims" if they like sex. Tierra_y_Libertad Aug 2012 #11
Simple. Igel Aug 2012 #12
A lot of women and girls have sex simply because they like sex tho Taverner Aug 2012 #15
What people say that? MineralMan Aug 2012 #13
It's simple... "those people" "think they know" but they don't. chowder66 Aug 2012 #14

arbusto_baboso

(7,162 posts)
1. Because men, particularly the religious types....
Thu Aug 2, 2012, 12:58 PM
Aug 2012

Feel threatened by the female libido, which can make our little urges seem amusing and minor by comparison, if the women in question are free to express themselves sexually.

Unfortunately, human culture has done such a great job of indoctrinating and mind-fucking women, that many women also believe that they don't really have much desire for sex, or that there's something wrong with themselves if they do.

Bucky

(53,795 posts)
2. Get out of the house more, Tav
Thu Aug 2, 2012, 01:01 PM
Aug 2012

I don't know where you're getting this "always" business, but it's not a representative sample.

Who are these "people who say" - why are you paying attention to folks who gossip about someone else's sex life? Who's making these assumptions about guys and clitorises that seem to upset you so much? How many teachers or high school counselors do you know who ask, students about the correlations between their skirts and their sexual practices?

Christianity, Islam, and other religions are not "sex for babies" cults. Get some perspective, please. I have no idea how you got from religion to gossip rags.

I think your post has more to do with your own concerns than what an objective view of social or media perceptions are. If it were otherwise, you should have cited at least one concrete example from the outside world in your bizarre and out of context rant.



hedgehog

(36,286 posts)
3. Maybe people don't gossip about healthy women having sex for fun with people who are their equals,
Thu Aug 2, 2012, 01:03 PM
Aug 2012

but they do gossip when a woman gets into an unhealthy relationship with someone more powerful?

 

darkangel218

(13,985 posts)
4. LOL! so true
Thu Aug 2, 2012, 01:03 PM
Aug 2012

Same goes for porn, only men are supposed to like it. That's shows you that cultural rules are made my shovinistic hypocrites.

Igel

(35,191 posts)
12. Simple.
Thu Aug 2, 2012, 03:06 PM
Aug 2012

Very few boys don't typically go around pushing for sex with girls they barely know in order to be popular with girls. A rather larger number do typically go around pushing for sex with girls they barely know to be popular with boys. They think it's their due or they want to be studs. Few say, "I had sex with her because I wanted her to like me." If they hump a girl that they don't know well and the entire school knows, well, oops. The boys tend to think they're using the girls. The girls tend to agree.

Even fewer girls go around pushing for sex with boys they barely know in order to be popular with girls. A somewhat larger number goes around pushing for sex with boys they barely know in order to be popular with boys. It's not their due, it's their dues. "I want him to like me." If they let a boy hump them and the entire school knows they usually get pissed off. Most boys--and girls--tend to think the boys are still using the girls.

Yes, a girl could just like sex. The more the merrier. Or even sort of a posse like the kids a decade or two had going, a notch for each lay. Not how most girls would see it. Probably not going to be the most common reason. The most common reason would be "I just want him to like me." Why does it matter? If he doesn't like you, have some self respect and push off. If you don't, it's, well, commonly referred to as a "self-esteem issue."

Doesn't have to be that way. Not always fair. But social judgments aren't usually fair.

Yes, every dialect of English has a fully formed grammar and is, in principle, equal. In practice, if you speak dialect in the wrong place you're just considered stupid. Doesn't have to be that way. Not always fair. Another social judgment.

In both cases, blame the culture.

 

Taverner

(55,476 posts)
15. A lot of women and girls have sex simply because they like sex tho
Thu Aug 2, 2012, 05:25 PM
Aug 2012

The "I just wanted him to like me" seems almost like a coverup for giving into one's desires. The kind of thing one would say if society deemed sex for fun as a "slutty" thing.

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