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Mon May 14, 2018, 06:25 AM

Hurricane season has started.

There is a low near Florida that may become a tropical storm.
I will again post these vital instructions.

A low has formed near Florida that may become a tropical storm. It is the start of hurricane season.

"Official SC Law Enforcement Hurricane Instructions"
If a hurricane is imminent, this will be broadcast)

URGENT – URGENT – URGENT (FOR IMMEDIATE DISSEMINATION STATEWIDE)
Warning to all South Carolina residents of a possible hurricane threat. The path of this hurricane is still unclear and may be a threat to our state.

Although meteorologists are predicting landfall somewhere to the north of South Carolina, state emergency preparedness officials are making two basic but important points:
(1) There is no need to panic.
(2) We could all be killed.

Hurricane season is an exciting time to be in South Carolina. If you’re new to the area, you’re probably wondering what you need to do to prepare for the possibility that we’ll get hit by “the big one.” Based on experience, we recommend that you follow this simple three-step hurricane preparedness plan:
STEP 1. Buy enough food, beer, and bottled water to last your family for at least three days.
STEP 2. Put these supplies into your car.
STEP 3. Drive to Nebraska and remain there until Halloween.

Unfortunately, statistics show that most people will not follow this sensible plan. Most people will foolishly stay here in South Carolina. We’ll start with one of the most important hurricane preparedness items: HOMEOWNERS’ INSURANCE: If you own a home, you must have hurricane insurance. Fortunately, this insurance is cheap and easy to get, as long as your home meets two basic requirements:
(1) It is reasonably well-built, and
(2) It is located in Nebraska.

Unfortunately, if your home is located in South Carolina, or any other area that might actually be hit by a hurricane, most insurance companies would prefer not to sell you hurricane insurance, because then they might be required to pay YOU money, and that is certainly not why they got into the insurance business in the first place. So you’ll have to scrounge around for an insurance company, which will charge you an annual premium roughly equal to the replacement value of your house. At any moment, this company can drop you like used dental floss.
Since Hurricane George, I have had an estimated 27 different home-insurance companies. This week, I’m covered by the Bubba and Big Stan Insurance Company, under a policy which states that, in addition to my premium, Bubba and Big Stan are entitled, on demand, to my kidneys.
SHUTTERS: Your house should have hurricane shutters on all the windows, all the doors, and — if it’s a major hurricane — all the toilets. There are several types of shutters, with advantages and disadvantages:

Plywood shutters: The advantage is that, because you make them yourself, they’re cheap. The disadvantage is that, because you make them yourself, they will fall off.

Sheet-metal shutters: The advantage is that these work well, once you get them all up. The disadvantage is that once you get them all up, your hands will be useless bleeding stumps, and it will be December.

Roll-down shutters: The advantages are that they’re very easy to use, and will definitely protect your house. The disadvantage is that you will have to sell your house to pay for them.

Hurricane-proof windows: These are the newest wrinkle in hurricane protection: They look like ordinary windows, but they can withstand hurricane winds! You can be sure of this, because the salesman says so. He lives in Nebraska.

Hurricane Proofing Your Property: As the hurricane approaches, check your yard for movable objects like barbecue grills, planters, patio furniture, visiting relatives, etc.. You should, as a precaution, throw these items into your swimming pool (if you don’t have a swimming pool, you should have one built immediately). Otherwise, the hurricane winds will turn these objects into deadly missiles.

EVACUATION ROUTE: If you live in a low-lying area, you should have an evacuation route planned out. (To determine whether you live in a low-lying area, look at your driver’s license; if it says “South Carolina,” you live in a low-lying area.) The purpose of having an evacuation route is to avoid being trapped in your home when a major storm hits. Instead, you will be trapped in a gigantic traffic jam several miles from your home, along with two hundred thousand other evacuees. So, as a bonus, you will not be lonely.

HURRICANE SUPPLIES: If you don’t evacuate, you will need a mess of supplies. Do not buy them now! South Carolina tradition requires that you wait until the last possible minute, then go to the supermarket and get into vicious fights with strangers over who gets the last can of SPAM.

In addition to food and water, you will need the following supplies: 23 flashlights At least $167 worth of batteries that turn out, when the power goes off, to be the wrong size for the flashlights. Bleach. (We don’t know what the bleach is for. NOBODY knows what the bleach is for, but it’s traditional, so GET some!) A 55-gallon drum of underarm deodorant. A big knife that you can strap to your leg. (This will be useless in a hurricane, but it looks cool.) A large quantity of raw chicken, to placate the alligators. (Ask anybody who went through Hugo. After the hurricane, there WILL be irate alligators.) $35,000 in cash or diamonds so that, after the hurricane passes, you can buy a generator from a man with no discernible teeth.

Of course these are just basic precautions. As the hurricane draws near, it is vitally important that you keep abreast of the situation by turning on your television and watching TV reporters in rain slickers stand right next to the ocean and tell you over and over how vitally important it is for everybody to stay away from the ocean.

Good luck, and remember: It’s great living in South Carolina!

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Arrow 20 replies Author Time Post
Reply Hurricane season has started. (Original post)
Are_grits_groceries Monday OP
Ligyron Monday #1
monmouth4 Monday #3
spinbaby Monday #9
Achilleaze Monday #2
Are_grits_groceries Monday #4
Achilleaze Monday #5
malaise Monday #16
ollie10 Monday #6
tosh Monday #7
NightWatcher Monday #8
lark Monday #12
NightWatcher Monday #14
GulfCoast66 Monday #10
Tipperary Monday #11
GoCubsGo Monday #15
malaise Monday #13
mcar Monday #17
Uncle Joe Monday #18
malaise Monday #19
GusBob Monday #20

Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Mon May 14, 2018, 06:33 AM

1. I'm in south Florida.

It has done nothing but rain steadily now for two days with no relief in site.

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Response to Ligyron (Reply #1)

Mon May 14, 2018, 06:37 AM

3. It did make for a damp Mother's Day..LOL n/t

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Response to Ligyron (Reply #1)

Mon May 14, 2018, 08:29 AM

9. Very wet

I’m at Disney World with a five-year-old who’s not pleased.

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Mon May 14, 2018, 06:36 AM

2. SC refugees might want to wait till tornado season is over in Nebraska and Kansas

I'm just sayin...

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Response to Achilleaze (Reply #2)

Mon May 14, 2018, 06:39 AM

4. Unfortunately we get tornadoes too.

We don’t have wide open spaces so we might see them. They might pop up anywhere.
I have had 10 tornado warnings this year. Obviously not in your league, but it’s enough.

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Reply #4)

Mon May 14, 2018, 07:05 AM

5. I'm far from KS and NE, but I do watch the weather...

and I do recognize that republican lies about climate change (and its impact on the weather) are dangerous for America.

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Response to Achilleaze (Reply #2)

Mon May 14, 2018, 10:15 AM

16. ROFL

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Mon May 14, 2018, 08:14 AM

6. I have learned that no matter where you live

the same people complain about the weather.

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Mon May 14, 2018, 08:23 AM

7. LOL....

from Florida.

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Mon May 14, 2018, 08:26 AM

8. I'm just now scheduled to get a new roof this week after last year's storms

But it looks like it'll be a rain out.

I'd love a year off from storms.

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Response to NightWatcher (Reply #8)

Mon May 14, 2018, 09:30 AM

12. I live in Ne FL.


After Matt, we had our roof pressure washed and found some soft spots, so we need a new roof. It's not critical, during Matt it only leaked in the garage, but it is needed before we have another big storm. We've just scheduled the installation late last week for two weeks from now. The day after we scheduled, we heard about the hot spot down south. Ugh! I live in one of the least hit by hurricanes areas near a FL coast, so probably am safe. But the last two years there have been hurricanes that turned at the last minute or we'd have been devastated, so not as complacent as I used to be. Unfortunately, moving the date up is also not an option. Sigh.

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Response to lark (Reply #12)

Mon May 14, 2018, 10:02 AM

14. I'm in Jax Fl. The last couple of years got us good.

No direct hits but persistent damage here and there.

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Mon May 14, 2018, 09:14 AM

10. Irma got us a new roof

And it has been getting a workout the last 2 days.

But we need the rain and really do not flood like other areas due to our lack of contour. Where it does flood the residents expect it and it comes on relatively slowly.


Plus, no fire season this year!

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Mon May 14, 2018, 09:16 AM

11. I think it starts June 1.

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Response to Tipperary (Reply #11)

Mon May 14, 2018, 10:09 AM

15. Officially, yes.

But, this storm didn't get the message, apparently.

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Mon May 14, 2018, 09:38 AM

13. ROFL

Great post

That said get ready folks

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Mon May 14, 2018, 10:23 AM

17. Thanks for the laugh!

From Florida.

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Mon May 14, 2018, 10:34 AM

18. Kicked and recommended.

Thanks for the thread grits

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Mon May 14, 2018, 12:01 PM

19. Jeff Masters this morning -Gulf of Mexico Disturbance Bringing Heavy Rains to Florida,

and May Develop
https://www.wunderground.com/cat6/gulf-mexico-disturbance-bringing-heavy-rains-florida-and-may-develop
<snip>
The Atlantic hurricane season officially starts on June 1, but we could see a tropical or subtropical depression form in the Gulf of Mexico this week, off the coast of the Florida Panhandle. A broad area of low pressure has developed over the southeastern Gulf of Mexico, in association with an upper-level low pressure system, and this area of disturbed weather is expected to drift slowly northward and stall out off the coast of the Florida Panhandle on Tuesday. By Wednesday, the low is expected to be absorbed by a trough of low pressure passing to its north, resulting in the low moving ashore along the Florida Panhandle, on either Wednesday or Thursday. As this low meanders over the warm waters of the Gulf of Mexico early this week, the system has the potential to gradually acquire tropical characteristics and become warm-cored, potentially becoming a tropical or subtropical depression. Sea surface temperatures (SSTs) off the coast of the Florida Panhandle are near 25°C (77°F)—a little cooler than is typically needed to see a tropical depression form, but plenty warm enough to support formation of a subtropical depression. Wind shear over the low was a high 30 – 40 knots on Sunday evening, but was predicted to fall to a moderate 15 – 25 knots by Tuesday.

The 12Z Sunday operational runs of our top three models for predicting tropical cyclone genesis--the European, GFS and UKMET models--did not clearly predict that a tropical or subtropical cyclone would form in the Gulf of Mexico this week. However, there was good support for this idea from the 12Z Sunday ensemble runs of the GFS and European models, according to a custom forecast tool supplied to WU by cfanclimate.com. More than 50% of the 50 members of the European model and more than 50% of the 20 members of the GFS ensemble predicted that a tropical or subtropical depression would form by Thursday in the Gulf. In a special 3:40 pm EDT Sunday Tropical Weather Outlook, the National Hurricane Center gave the system 2-day and 5-day odds of development of 30% and 40%, respectively. As of Sunday evening, NHC had not yet designated this system as an “Invest”—an area of interest worthy of running their special tropical cyclone prediction models for. The first name on the Atlantic list of storms for 2018 is Alberto.

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Response to Are_grits_groceries (Original post)

Mon May 14, 2018, 12:21 PM

20. Is there a Storm-E ? I hope she is a real doozy

If you catch my drift

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