Rex Tillerson: I Hope Trump Finds Out Hes Impeached on Twitter (Borowitz)

[Stonepounder]

http://bit.ly/2p8zJ6c

“I mean, the way I see it playing out, he’s up at 3 a.m., starting a new feud with Oprah or someone, and that’s when he finds out,” Tillerson said. “My only regret is that I won’t be there to see it.”

Tillerson started laughing in what some witnesses described as a demonic manner as he imagined Trump learning of his impeachment on Twitter.

“I mean, you have to picture him with his BlackBerry in his itty-bitty hands, and that’s how he finds out,” Tillerson cackled. “It would serve the bastard right.”

Composing himself, Tillerson added, “Let me make something clear. I’ve done well for myself. I’ve lived a full life and, by any measure, a successful one. But, if there’s one last thing I have on my bucket list, it’s that Donald Trump finds out he’s being shitcanned on Twitter. I mean, you want to talk about sweet.”

[Gothmog]

1. I love good satire

[flibbitygiblets]

2. Apropos as that would be...this Twitter bullshit needs to stop

The President of the United States does not get to decide which American citizens he will block, or unfollow, or whatever selective informing methods are available, when making official statements. And these tweets are official statements.

[Blue Owl]

3. That would be tweetness

n/t

[duforsure]

4. To Tillerson

We hope you go directly to Mueller and tell him everything you know. Then we all can watch him being walked out of the White House in handcuffs.

[SCVDem]

5. Remember Rex!

You are Putin's pick you prick!

Sorry about that Rosenfeldt oil deal.

Douche bag traitor!

[LiberalLovinLug]

6. the Onion is the lefts version of Breitbart or Fox News in a way.

The difference is we KNOW its all exaggerated satire meant to get a rise.

If this was the equivalent opposite, say a satirical story on Breitbart or Drudge about Nancy Pelosi badmouthing President Obama, the deplorables would lap it up and if anyone told them later it was all made up, they'd call that explanation 'fake news'. And merrily go on their way with yet another reason to hate Dems.

[longship]

7. And this one is Andy Borowitz.

Who is yet another gem.