All Right DU'ers, It's 'Fess-Up Time.

[Ikonoklast]

Which one of you evil geniuses went undercover as a Republican campaign strategy adviser, got hired by the Romney staff, and is writing completely insane things for Mitt to say in public, making him sound totally demented to millions of people?

I know it's one of you crazy bastards.

I suspect you worked for Herman Cain and Michelle Bachmann, too.


PM me, I can keep a secret.

[quaker bill]

1. I would truly love to confess

but the credit is not mine, and I really don't think my imagination would have been up to the task.

[GoCubsGo]

2. I think Cain and Bachmann are moles.

Maybe Louie Gohmert, too.

[Ikonoklast]

4. But from what planet?

[DevonRex]

9. The planet within a planet of course. Nt

[TalkingDog]

38. They came from planet Claire

[progressoid]

48. I think Claire is 53 miles west of Venus...

[LeftofObama]

3. I wish I could say it was me, but even I couldn't

think of things that asinine to say

[lumberjack_jeff]

5. MONKEY PANCAKES!!!!

Help me out, I'm running out of material, guys.

[Ikonoklast]

11. Start dressing him funny.

Tell Mitt that everyone who is anyone wears a top hat and monocle, it's the current "in thing" when on the Continent.

[lumberjack_jeff]

13. +1

I think you deserve the job.

[Ikonoklast]

16. I'm full of helpful ideas.

I'm like that. Helpful.

[eShirl]

44. And have him refer to Ann as "Lovey."

[Generic Other]

6. Locozolo?

[Canuckistanian]

10. Pfffff

Ahahahahahahahahaha

[RebelOne]

7. Not guilty. n/t

[Ikonoklast]

12. I'll keep my eye on you.

It's always the quiet ones.

[DevonRex]

8. ;)

[taterguy]

14. You just blew up a very sensitive operation

Dumbass

[Ikonoklast]

15. I knew it!

Make Mitt say "Rama-lama-ding-dong!" at the Wailing Wall, and that will be all the proof I need.

[babylonsister]

56. rofl! It wouldn't surprise me! nt

[relayerbob]

17. C'mon you can't make this stuff up!

It takes years of practice to be as useless as a Rmoney

[DearAbby]

18. I was a good girl

and I prayed really really hard. Don't blame me if God has an awesome sense of humor, 'cause I could never think of something this great!

[nadinbrzezinski]

19. I would love to confess

but I have been part of the EEVVVIILLLL Media, covering them... hey, took one for the team and covered Ron Paul when he came to town.

[Ikonoklast]

21. And that possibility is terrifying.

I'd rather hope that they are actually being punked, than think they are so out of touch to actually believe that what Mitt is babbling is perfectly rational.

[TBF]

22. I would love for whomever it is to take my name

off his mailing list. Either one of my family/friends think it is very funny, or Romney is seriously slamming Texas with his mailings.

[hue]

23. Maybe Anonymous!! ;-)

[Jessy169]

24. Naw, he's doing it all on his own

Chances are we are witnessing a man who's capability for self-embarrassment is unlimited. And from the looks of it, he's just now waking up to that fact. It must be a very rude awakening for him and his team. He must now be coming to the conclusion that the more he keeps his mouth shut, the better off he is.

[Jessy169]

35. Is that what that smell is?!

Man, it's gnarly.



Can't wait to catch another whiff!

[kestrel91316]

49. As someone whose capacity to open mouth and insert foot

is pretty much limitless, I have to admit that I recognize a kindred spirit in Mittens.

[Plucketeer]

25. I CON-fess

It's me. And yes, I DID get a recommendation from Bachmann. See, I'd gone to her hubby's "mental health" clinic and got cured of the gay. Mind you, not the sorta "gay" where I pursue with amourous intent, those of my own gender (not that there's anything wrong with that). Rather, I was afflicted with the sorta gay that would've been defined in a '50s dictionary - you know, carefree, bubbly, effervescent -the state or quality of being lighthearted or cheerful? Well, Michele's spouse spouted that he could cure me of ANYTHING so long as I had enough cash.

Well, just having tapped my Swiss bank account - I was flush with lotsa Benjis. Michele helped count them out and allowed as how she'd not seen THAT much cash since she'd gotten their last farm subsidy check. So Marcus dimmed the lights, danced around me a few times while Michele chanted in tongues. Fifteen minutes later, the light came back up and I was showed the door. I gotta say - I think it worked. I was feelin' NO kinda gaiety as I walked out into the night.

Then, just as I was unlocking my Bentley, Ms. Bachmann came running up to me. Sorta breathless like, she allowed as how an impressionable sucker like me might be JUST Right as a strategist for a rich friend of hers she was advising. It's not like I really needed the money. And I confess I'm having trouble now - what with the giggling that starts to overcome me when I hear my boss spout the ridiculous crap I've composed for him to say. I may have to sneak off to Minnesota for another round of "treatment".

[Ikonoklast]

27. I think you are being facetious.

You've never been "bubbly".

[Plucketeer]

33. I beg to differ

Beans for dinner - then a spell in a hot tub.....

[Ikonoklast]

52. You must be a real gas at parties.

Hope there are no open flames nearby.

[Plucketeer]

53. I blow 'em away!

[Ikonoklast]

54. Is your first name....

..."Claymore"?

[Plucketeer]

57. Claymore - that's mine!

[Lint Head]

26. The Aspens are turning.

[Ikonoklast]

30. Ha!

+1 for the reference.

[Kadie]

39. ROFL!

[Arugula Latte]

40. But are they turning in unison?

[JHB]

29. Not to make any implications, mind you, but...

...after a while, the rats fuck back.

[klook]

31. Advanced Robotics

My future self retroactively reprogrammed "his" central control module to self-destruct.

[Botany]

34. It was a joint effort by these guys

[Ikonoklast]

51. More like these three guys...

[zeemike]

36. If they told you they would have to kill you

This is a top secret operation by the DUIA code name Seamus and they are deep undercover.
so someone alert and get this thread locked before some one gets eleminated....please...lose lips stinks up chips.

[malaise]

37. Shaggy here

It wasn't me

[Jamaal510]

41. The GOP lives in a parallel universe from us;

what sounds crazy to us usually makes sense to them and their voters.

[Historic NY]

46. Well for now its KOLOB...Mitts warming up the spaceship

[PoliticAverse]

42. Bachmann doesn't need any help. n/t

[stevenleser]

43. The sad thing is, that would make more sense than

The Romney camping and Romney himself being so incompetent.

[Rosa Luxemburg]

45. I told him to say the trees are the right height!

just kidding!

[RoccoR5955]

47. They even get paid to be here.

I think they get paid by the turd, not the word.

[Rhiannon12866]

50. LOL! Stephen Colbert?

That's my guess...

[Nevernose]

55. I AM Herman Cain

I invented pizza shortly after I invented batshit crazy.