HomeLatest ThreadsGreatest ThreadsForums & GroupsMy SubscriptionsMy Posts
DU Home » Latest Threads » Forums & Groups » Main » General Discussion (Forum) » This broke me....I have b...

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 07:15 AM

This broke me....I have been trying very hard to keep it together. I have my own

personal reasons for hating gun violence. But this did me in...



Earlier I shared a post from my friend, Mr. B.

Well now I have my own.

In 7th period, out of nowhere today, the fire alarms at my school went off. My students stood up as they always do when the alarm goes off for drills.

My brain immediately went into robot mode. I recalled the incident from yesterday like a mathematician calculating a problem on a whiteboard. Zero emotions. Zero fear.

Wait, I said, holding up my hand. The kids froze. Lets sit for now, I said calmly. They sat, looking at me in terror.

What if its like!!! One child cried out, but I turned, shook my head, and kept my hand held out.

Its not. Probably someone pulled the alarm. Its okay. Lets just wait.

We waited. I kept eye contact with the teacher in the classroom across the hall from me. We both shook our heads.

Then I waited to hear gunshots.

Do you hear me?

I stood in front of your children and I waited to hear gunshots.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT????

I didnt want to put them in lockdown just yet. Calmness and control is the only defense I have against a room of panicked teenagers. I turned and I looked every single one of them in the eyes and I nodded my head reassuringly. You are my babies. I have you. I have you.

I kept glancing across at the teacher across from me. He shook his head. We stayed still.

Suddenly, I saw our guidance counselor in the hallway. She beckoned for us to come out. I stuck my head out and said its safe? She said Yes, lets go out.

Come on, guys, I said. Its all right. We can go outside.

They behaved wonderfully. They followed me out calmly, we evacuated, and then we stood outside for 30 minutes while fire trucks and police cars checked out our building. It was a faulty alarm. Everyone was safe.

I took my children back inside. We had a successful drill. Everyone was safe. I even made a point to update parents and community that we were all safe.

School dismissed.

The kids left, chatting excitedly how they missed half a class period.

I sat at my desk.

My little sister came in to say goodbye for the day and I lost it. Sobbing, snot coming out, face burning, nauseated.

I was waiting to hear gunshots. I was waiting to hide my kids. I was waiting for the shots.

Keep your opinions off my post. Im home and Im angry.

I stood in front of your kids and waited to die for them.

I STOOD IN FRONT OF YOUR KIDS AND WAITED TO DIE FOR THEM!

48 replies, 7970 views

Reply to this thread

Back to top Alert abuse

Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum
Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 48 replies Author Time Post
Reply This broke me....I have been trying very hard to keep it together. I have my own (Original post)
airmid Feb 2018 OP
voteearlyvoteoften Feb 2018 #1
Docreed2003 Feb 2018 #2
Scarsdale Feb 2018 #3
renate Feb 2018 #25
Oppaloopa Feb 2018 #4
ananda Feb 2018 #5
scarletlib Feb 2018 #6
Bernardo de La Paz Feb 2018 #7
DiverDave Feb 2018 #8
cate94 Feb 2018 #9
scarletlib Feb 2018 #20
CaptainTruth Feb 2018 #38
steve2470 Feb 2018 #10
Fred Sanders Feb 2018 #16
cilla4progress Feb 2018 #11
surrealAmerican Feb 2018 #12
AtheistCrusader Feb 2018 #34
heaven05 Feb 2018 #13
ancianita Feb 2018 #14
mia Feb 2018 #15
mia Feb 2018 #19
Hermit-The-Prog Feb 2018 #17
world wide wally Feb 2018 #18
Freedomofspeech Feb 2018 #21
Initech Feb 2018 #22
Dem_4_Life Feb 2018 #23
California_Republic Feb 2018 #24
renate Feb 2018 #26
sheshe2 Feb 2018 #27
LineReply .
herding cats Feb 2018 #28
magicarpet Feb 2018 #29
Smickey Feb 2018 #30
airmid Feb 2018 #31
Heartstrings Feb 2018 #32
niyad Feb 2018 #33
lunatica Feb 2018 #35
cp Feb 2018 #36
alwaysinasnit Feb 2018 #37
Raastan Feb 2018 #39
CaptainTruth Feb 2018 #40
Lifelong Protester Feb 2018 #41
MontanaMama Feb 2018 #42
LiberalFighter Feb 2018 #43
BigmanPigman Feb 2018 #44
Aristus Feb 2018 #45
dae Feb 2018 #46
orleans Feb 2018 #47
Cha Feb 2018 #48

Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 07:34 AM

1. i don't know what to say

But I am with you. I believe you would sacrifice yourself for your students. This is the moment. Now is the time. Stop the violence.

Peace be with you😥

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 07:39 AM

2. Thank you for sharing your story...nt

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 07:47 AM

3. Mentally disturbed people

reside in every country in the world. WHY is the US the only one that makes weapons of mass destruction, in this case automatic weapons, readily available.? Related to this, why is the US the country where politicians can be bought with huge donations to their bank accounts?? Why isn't THAT called BRIBERY?

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Scarsdale (Reply #3)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 12:49 PM

25. exactly!

Your point needs to be made over and over and over again.

Mentally ill people, even just disturbed and angry and vengeful people, are everywhere, yet this only happens in the United States. We all know, even they know, the real reason this only happens here. Yet politicians hide behind shooters' mental illness as an excuse (while still not fully funding treatment for mental illness).

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 08:40 AM

4. Thank you

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 08:44 AM

5. This is SO wrong on so many levels!

Thank you for being there for your students!

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 08:46 AM

6. This makes me cry.

This is the sorry state of our nation. Guns above children. Fear for our lives, there is no "freedom" in that.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 08:52 AM

7. You are strong and that was very hard for you. Thank you. . . . . nt

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 08:53 AM

8. My opinion?

They are all our babies.
Thank you, my son is in high school and I
am terrified that I will get "the call".
Hopefully his teachers are as awesome as you.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 09:00 AM

9. Heart wrenching

And powerful.
I used to think that we should have our Congress people wear pictures of their sponsors on their clothes, like NASCAR, but Ive changed my mind. The photos of the dead should be hung in chains around their necks and the amount they received from the NRA tattooed on their foreheads.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to cate94 (Reply #9)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 10:20 AM

20. AMEN!

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to cate94 (Reply #9)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 08:12 PM

38. +1000!

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 09:02 AM

10. this makes me cry

Our country has become so sick, that now you and other teachers and kids have to think about this.

God help us. We have become so sick.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to steve2470 (Reply #10)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 09:28 AM

16. The NRA and its corrupt politicians have achieved what ISIS could not: terrorizing America coast

to coast.

Rubio all emotional over Guns being restricted, not children dying, is a disgusting as it gets.

Not a human, some kind of of world alien is the only explanation.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 09:13 AM

11. Thank you that you would do this for our children

You are, in the words of Fred Rogers, one of "the helpers." We look for you, and to you. A true leader, not a false one...

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 09:22 AM

12. What if there had been a fire?

I hadn't thought about the implications for fire safety before, but it seems the recent shooting could cost more lives because it will make teachers hesitant to evacuate when they hear the alarm.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to surrealAmerican (Reply #12)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 04:10 PM

34. Fire does not propagate fast enough in a modern building to make what that teacher did, dangerous.

Not in that context.

If the fire is that impending, it'll be obvious.

Worse, a real fire isn't even 'all clear'. Explosion and fire in the Bath school shooting in 1927 was just the beginning.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bath_School_disaster

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 09:23 AM

13. I love the teachers here

 

and to have kids and adults go through an adrenaline pumping fear inducing situation like this is just so sad. And unnecessary.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 09:24 AM

14. ...

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 09:25 AM

15. Powerful post.

Thank you. I just retired from the public school system and can imagine being there with you.
May I copy this and post it on facebook?

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to mia (Reply #15)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 10:16 AM

19. Stephanie Kuzy Jenkins facebook page

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 09:45 AM

17. Thank you.

My son is a teacher. Little kids, pre-teen. May his handle it as well as yours.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 10:11 AM

18. Is America great again yet?

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 10:44 AM

21. Thank you for sharing this...

As a retired educator, my heart aches for anyone in the classroom now. I was a high school librarian when Columbine happened and many students died in their library. That stayed with me until the day I retired. Love and peace to you.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 11:06 AM

22. Make America Murder Again!

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 11:11 AM

23. Thank you for sharing your story.

This is so heart breaking and unnecessary. This makes me so angry that we have to go through this as a country and looking at what we have become.

I am so grateful that my Grandpa passed away shortly after Trump was inaugurated. This would have killed him internally to see what his America became. The country that he fought for and the country that he loved.

Every single day I am so horrified and angry.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 12:21 PM

24. (( hugs )))

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 12:53 PM

26. thank you for what you do, for being cautious, for being protective

That sounds so traumatic, but only for you and not for your kids, because of your level-headedness and calm. You protected them from fear. You did an amazing job.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 12:54 PM

27. ...

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 01:10 PM

28. .

Both my mother and my sister are teachers. I never imagined Id worry about them being safe at work.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 01:57 PM

29. Crank up the hate.... then crank up even more hate....

Use hate as a weapon and a vehicular motif to make political gains....

.... this is the end result - some young Rebel with his head screwed on backwards mindlessly and incoherently lashes out and reeks mayhem.

Thank you President Trump for making hate come into such sharp focus and making it such an important component of American political discourse.

This monster of your creation now wanders, roams, and haunts our political landscapes and is infecting our communities.

Thank you for cranking and ramping things up to this degree. Only the stupidest among use could not have recognized and anticipated this end result that rampant and relentless hatred would bring.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 01:59 PM

30. Don't forget your kevlar dear.

I am so sorry you had to experience that moment in time.
The idea that teachers have to mentally prepare for being a human shield is truly horrifying to me as it is I am sure to most everyone else. It terrifies me that young teachers and prospective teachers (like my daughter) have to factor this into decisions about remaining as or becoming teachers in the first place.

The loss is ours.

What have we come to.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 02:04 PM

31. I should clarify...this was shared by a friend on Facebook. I have not been a teacher for many years

But this went all through me. I am still unable to function since I read this. We are a broken country....

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 02:10 PM

32. As a child of 2 teachers

This could have been either one of my parents. They would have sacrificed my brother and I for other people's children. That's what teachers do....and yet, appreciation is rarely given for all the sacrifices they make daily.

But don't ever forget, they have families and most likely children themselves.....

#enough


Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 03:31 PM

33. I wish there were sensible, sane words for the insanity in which we find ourselves. Bless YOU,

and all the other wonderful teachers and staff in our schools. I cannot imagine the courage and dedication it takes to show up every day in what has become a war zone.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 04:25 PM

35. All I can say is thank you!

You and the other teacher did the right thing no matter what was actually happening.

There seems to always be a teacher in these horrible incidences who puts their body in defense of the students, or who talks the killer down, and many have lost their lives doing it.

As a matter of fact I cant remember a single story of a teacher hiding behind their students or running away.

I would like to see heroic teachers recognized in a meaningful way.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 07:34 PM

36. Sending love

Thank you for being a true teacher and good-hearted person. Please take good care of yourself.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 07:51 PM

37. Thank You!

Your kids will remember this and they will especially remember that you were prepared to do whatever it took to keep them safe.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 08:13 PM

39. Thanks for sharing

I am a teacher, too.... I get it.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 08:19 PM

40. Both of my sisters were teachers, both retired now.

They can't believe the right-wingers who want to arm teachers & expect them to face shooters with assault rifles.

This is insane. Our schools should not be battlefronts.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 09:47 PM

41. Thanks for that,

we teachers can't even get sufficient pencils and toner, now there is suddenly money for Glocks???

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 11:02 PM

42. Oh my.

I'm sorry. Sick and sorry. Thank you for teaching and leading and caring for our children.

When you feel able, please share this with your elected representatives.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 11:05 PM

43. Proud of how you and your fellow teacher handled it.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 11:06 PM

44. As a first grade teacher I have complete empathy.

I know. I know. WE know!

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 11:10 PM

45. Just one more reason why I shout from the mountaintops:

TEACHERS ROCK!!!

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Fri Feb 16, 2018, 11:48 PM

46. Thank you.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Sat Feb 17, 2018, 02:12 AM

47. here's a reference point to the letter

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to airmid (Original post)

Sat Feb 17, 2018, 05:34 AM

48. Heartbreaking account, airmid

Mahalo for your poignant story.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Reply to this thread