What We've Lost
I'm going to refer to Mariana (name changed) as "my friend" because I am her friend, insofar as we share many experiences, communicate deeply about important and personal things now and then, and if it were possible, I would help her in any way I can.
Unfortunately, the little I could do is done, and it seemed to change nothing.
Here's what you need to know about Mariana: She is my age, she is a born-and-raised Norteño who has worked, HARD, all her life, to raise a family in spite of many challenges- financial challenges, health challenges, all the things that can make a person either bitter, insensitive, and selfish, or hopeful, caring, and kind. Mariana went the hopeful, caring, kind route but she carries the scars of many, many struggles. I admire her greatly.
Let me tell you her story:
Some months back, we were in the same place at the same time, with a few other like-minded folks, sharing things about our lives, Mariana spoke up, with pain in her voice.
Her 'son-in-law' had been picked up by INS, and incarcerated.
I put the quotes around 'son-in-law' because, as she explained, it's basically a common-law marriage. For many reasons there was never a legal registration of marriage in any US authority. Nevertheless, Emilio (not his real name, either) has been a loving and beloved family member for many years, working hard, being a conscientious husband and father (yes, there are kids, Mariana's grandchildren, her daughter's children.)
I'm not going to supply too many details. This family has already been hurt by some people responding to their troubles with "well, they should have gotten legally married years ago" and "he never should have come here illegally" and other insensitive cruelties.
In spite of having a home and family and job(s) Emilio was hauled into an INS detention center from the beginning. Family members were allowed weekly or bi-weekly short visits, for which they had to travel nearly two hours. Sometimes the visits were "rescheduled" without notice, leaving them waiting at the facility, and then turned away, to travel home again. Mariana broke down, crying, when she talked about the time that happened to her daughter when the children were withher.
A hearing before an immigration judge was scheduled.
They are not wealthy people, Mariana's family. They put themselves on a waiting list for free help from local immigration lawyers who do volunteer and pro-bono work. It shouldn't need to be said that right now every single legal professional in New Mexico working in the area of immigration has a caseload five times or greater than they really should be carrying.
A short free legal consultation yielded some suggestions. Pursuant to one of which, I wrote a letter to the immigration court, affirming that Emilio was a good neighbor with a job, friends, and community support, and I for one would be delighted if he were permitted to return to his family and given an opportunity to earn citizenship.
The hearing date kept being changed and pushed back, and finally it was referred to an immigration court in another location, and Emilio was moved to a detention facility even further from his family. All of this involved multiple trips, pain, expense they could ill afford, sleepless nights and anxiety, and much effort trying to keep the children from being even more traumatized.
Finally there was a hearing. Then there was an appeal, and another waiting period in yet another detention facility (I had NO IDEA there were so many concentration camps here in New Mexico. It is disgusting. But that's an aside.)
Another legal consultation and Mariana's family was warned it was very unlikely the appeal would be granted. They should start planning for Emilio to be deported.
Mariana's daughter decided that America is too cruel for her and her children. With the help of some of her 'in-laws' in Mexico, she prepared to move there, with the children. She found a place to live, and started the paperwork to become a legal resident in Mexico. Which was surprisingly easy, with the help of the Mexican consulate here and support from Emilio's family. Mexico was welcoming, the consulate staff was kind. There were delays, because so many people needed help with various things related to deportation, locating family in Mexico, etc.
They were also told that only about one or two in ten deportees even tries to get help with the process. Many have no family, no ties, no idea what they can or should do when they are literally shoved through the fence into a Mexican border station and the gate is locked behind them on the American side.
The appeal did fail. They were told Emilio would be deported on such-and-such a date, at such-and-such a place. They had more than a month to wait, while American officials did whatever American officials do with people who've already been legally kicked out but remain in detention.
Mariana's daughter and the children left for their new home in Mexico about ten days before Emilio's deportation date. They, and a couple of Emilio's family members there, showed up at the border crossing on the scheduled date.
No Emilio. No information from the authorities at the border crossing. Other buses of deportees showed up and were processed, but not his.
Many phone calls later, it was learned that Emilio had been moved to yet another detention center, and his deportation had been rescheduled without bothering to inform his family either in the US or in Mexico.
His children were waiting for their Papa, who didn't show up, in that big, scary confusing place full of fences and razor wire and armed guards.
Finally, a week later, at a different border crossing, the family was reunited.
Mariana won't see her grandchildren this Christmas. "I'm just glad they're together," she told me last night, trying not to cry yet again.
America is too cruel, indeed.
We have lost all sense of the value of kindness.
We have lost a neighbor.
We have lost a hard-working, close-knit family that might have been kind friends, whose children might have grown up to be loving caregivers for elderly neighbors, innovative scientists, creative entrepreneurs, conscientious public servants, joyful parents of yet another generation.
We have lost our way.
sadly,
Bright
= new reply since forum marked as read
Otherwise no one would know or care. 
