The DU Lounge
Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsThe Daily B***h*: "When I die, I am coming back to haunt every man who
ever told me that I needed to smile more."
*Both a noun, and a verb, depending on usage.
Maraya1969
(22,588 posts)It is controlling and manipulating. I've heard it plenty
niyad
(114,542 posts)graciously allowed us into their glorious presence.
I got this a lot both in retail, and in entertainment (casinos). One night, I had just had it. When yet another lout said it, I snapped, "I have to work with assholes like you all day. What on earth do I have to smile about???" He stepped back as if I had slapped him, mumbled something, and left.
OMGWTF
(4,041 posts)"Men are stupid and women are crazy. The reason women are crazy is because men are stupid." -- George Carlin
hlthe2b
(102,830 posts)well before I die.
niyad
(114,542 posts)Aristus
(66,703 posts)I was one of those guys. A long time ago, before I realized was a shitty thing it was to say to someone.
I was dating a beautiful young lady. She looked exactly like Natalie Maines of The Chicks. She had a beautiful smile. So I told her she should smile more. Although we broke up (and I ended up with Mrs. Aristus, so I got better than I deserved), that wasnt the reason.
But ever since I discovered what a douchy thing that is to say to someone, I cringe to remember it.
niyad
(114,542 posts)and are meting out your own penance.
Aristus
(66,703 posts)Striving to get better
niyad
(114,542 posts)llmart
(15,613 posts)working on themselves to learn how to communicate with women.
Lochloosa
(16,113 posts)rubbersole
(6,835 posts)Said the guy who's not getting lucky.
peppertree
(21,914 posts)But it was by a very friendly, older acquaintance - who pointed out that "people often wonder what you're thinking about - so you should smile more."
"I wouldn't want to bore them," I said.
In any case - with my thin lips and Saturn rising (the sign of a gray, if not dour, personality), smiling just doesn't come naturally to me.
Qué será.
niyad
(114,542 posts)I had a good friend who had the best smile I've ever seen on anyone; he turned out to be a very good liar too, sadly.
Qué será.
DinahMoeHum
(21,889 posts)Boys, I'm Taking Charge Here.
niyad
(114,542 posts)DinahMoeHum
(21,889 posts)Beautiful, Intelligent, Talented, Charming, Ho. .
Believing In The Complete Heart
and many more
dai13sy
(363 posts)"You have a beautiful smile - You should use it more." And then a 15 minute dissertation on loving myself more. Wow - all this after15 minutes of "knowing" each other. I don't know if I'm impressed or I want to puke on his shoes. I'm going with the shoes!
niyad
(114,542 posts)smb
(3,498 posts)niyad
(114,542 posts)niyad
(114,542 posts)number of times. It makes me smile.
malthaussen
(17,280 posts)But I can understand the annoyance.
-- Mal
niyad
(114,542 posts)malthaussen
(17,280 posts)Not enough time in the present life.
-- Mal
Floyd R. Turbo
(26,980 posts)my mother had suffered heart failure and was in surgery.
niyad
(114,542 posts)idiot (one of far too many, alas,) say that to me one night. I looked at him and said, "I just found out that my stepmother has died from a heart attack." He was so horrified and apologetic, not that it mattered.
llmart
(15,613 posts)I was 20 years old, a newlywed and I worked in an office with all men - about 13 of them and me. There was this one guy who, every morning when I walked in he'd say to me, "Smile if you got some last night."
I kid you not.
niyad
(114,542 posts)is actually sexual harassment. Ughhhh. I hope you did not have to work with him for very long.
llmart
(15,613 posts)For most of my office career I worked in engineering departments with mostly men. I could fill a book with all the harassment I endured back then. It wasn't just that one guy either. I was propositioned by married men, told I only got the job because of how I looked in a sweater, had a boss who said he saw me on the weekend sun bathing in a pink bikini at my apartment. He didn't really see me but a neighbor who also worked there told him I had a pink bikini so he thought he'd make me believe he drove by my complex and saw me. A VP went to lunch with the President and came back drunk and tried to kiss me. I wore mini skirts and when I'd walk by their desk they'd pretend to drop their pencils on the floor so they could bend down to pick them up and well, you get my drift.
niyad
(114,542 posts)were not endless workplace homicides as a result of the unending harassment. In one casino where I worked, the bar manager (not my department) was a true sexual predator (again, long before sexual harassment laws). A number of the women came to me about him, knowing that I had a reputation for fixing things. I very calmly explained to him that if I heard so much as a hint of a whisper that he was doing it again, as I assured him I WOULD hear, he and I would be having a little chat in the back alley, and I smiled at him. For the rest of the time I was there, he behaved, and did his best to avoid me.
Floyd R. Turbo
(26,980 posts)they come in contact with regardless of the situation. One never knows what the individual you are addressing is dealing with personally or professionally.
getagrip_already
(15,245 posts)For some reason, people just want to come back and try to make my life hell. Problem is, they just end up feeling worse and we end up talking for hours.
It just backs up all the other spirits waiting their turn.
Go figure.
But, I really don't remember saying that to anyone, so maybe we are cool. But I'm sure there are other things you will visit me for, so no matter, my 20:00 haunting is due any minute.
niyad
(114,542 posts)just yet. . .the line may yet lessen.
Shermann
(7,631 posts)Women (and occasionally men) used to say this to me all the time. They don't bother after you get older. I'm not saying it's symmetrical between the genders though.
niyad
(114,542 posts)any idea just how intimidating you look when you are out in public?" That must be the same face, although I had never heard "resting bitch face" before. LOVE IT!!!
Dear_Prudence
(454 posts)While wearing my covid mask, I noticed how relaxing it was to grocery shop because, although I still felt compelled, I didn't actually have to pin on a smile. I don't remember being told to smile, but I remember as a kid having my dad slap me in the face if I had an inadvertent look of discontent on my face, what we now call resting b*&*& face. Oh, the mask was so restful! Happy haunting, niyad!
LiberalFighter
(51,943 posts)Think of it as allowing your mind to be more functional when a smile is not a necessity.
niyad
(114,542 posts)have a clue what I really think in public.
LiberalFighter
(51,943 posts)There are people that smile too much. If it is genuine then I am good. If it is too much I have to wonder if there is something evil.
The facial expression needs to match what is going on. To see if they need help. Or it is related to any task they are performing. Smiling while performing a difficult task would mostly be unnatural.
niyad
(114,542 posts)what you are up to." Evil grin time!
LiberalFighter
(51,943 posts)Probably better to use your eyes with it too.
I'm a guy and rarely smile. I probably use other facial muscles. At my age I am probably set in my ways.