you're right it wasnt her job to control it but she WANTED to use the pill and DIDNT want me to use condoms. the kind of decisions that couples make together, this wasnt a one-nighter. - ididnt know at the time that it was at any cost that was hindsight. we talked about getting married after i got out of school.
i didnt "burden" her with OUR reproduction. she wanted to use the pill cause she didnt want me to use condoms and since we were on the same page of starting a family after college(at least she said was since we couldnt afford both) there was no reason to suspect her of doing this so no reason to use a condom which she didnt want anyway. her decision her body her choice.
i did it to myself only in the same sense that a woman gets pregnant cause a man (she loves and trusts) pokes a hole in a condom. which some here are comparing to rape. it's interesting that when a man pokes a hole in a condom and gets a woman pregnant he's a rapist but when a woman stop taking the pill and gets pregnant it's the man's fault for "burdening" her with MY reproduction or for not wearing a condom (even though his partner did want him to wear one) any excuse to make it the man's fault.