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The River

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Member since: 2001
Number of posts: 2,100

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Trump: From Zero to Hero with One Press Conference

Hey Donnie. Wanna save yourself a whole lot of embarrassment next week?
Would you like to rescue your reputation?
Would you like to avoid the world class smack-down that's coming your way?
Would like to become an American Hero overnight?
It's easy, Trust me. Here's all you need to do.

Call a press conference for tomorrow and tell the whole world some variation of the following:

"Good evening my fellow Americans. I, Donald J Trump, have just pulled off
the greatest political con job in history by totally exposing the entire Republican Party
for the greedy, racist, sexist, homophobic, war mongering collection of reprobates we all know they are.

Look at me and my history. Judge me by my words and deeds.
In what Bizzaro World am I even remotely qualified to be President?
The answer is none, zilch, zip, zero! And yet the Republicans voted for me.
They made me their candidate because they love power more than country.
They believed my hate filled lies because that's what they already believe.
They fear everyone who isn't like them so they would build a wall to keep the World out.
They hate Democrats and Hillary because Fox News and the right wing media has brainwashed them for 30 years. They deny science and basic reality for the same reason.

I, Donald J Trump, may be a horrible human being, but for all my faults, I do love America.
I grew so tired of watching the Republican Party destroy this country that I decided to expose and destroy them from within. My plan worked perfect bigly.

While were at it, let me also say "Thank You" to the corporate media for making me seem credible.
You gave me billions of dollars worth of free advertising. You enabled my con job in your race for ratings! Real journalists like Walter Cronkite or Edward R Murrow would have put me out of the race within a day of my announcement. The 4th Estate is supposed to inform the public by telling the truth and reporting the facts. All they do now is "spin", equivocate, deconstruct, ponder and opine until the facts are meaningless.

There's only one thing left to do now so here goes.................................
I, Donald J Trump, do hereby endorse Hillary Clinton and all down ticket Democrats. It really is time to "Make America Great Again" and the only way to do that is to vote the Republican Party out of existence.

To my supporters I would like to say one last thing....... "Suckers"!"


I know this was a fantasy, but it's my fantasy and I'm sticking to it.
tRump is too stupid to save himself.
In reality, we'll just have to wait until Tuesday to put the Republicans out of business.

Like the Drinker Who Has To End Up

in the gutter, like the gambler who has to go bankrupt or
the junkie who's forced into rehab, this country doesn't seem
to be able to respond to anything but a full blown crisis before
it is willing to change.
Frankenstein food, lead filled water, polluted air, lack of healthcare.
The list goes on and on. Lady Liberty is being raped in the kitchen
but we won't get off the couch to help because "American Idol" is
on the idiot box. So be it.
I've "got mine" so I shouldn't care, but I do. I don't care about race, gender,
age or religion, I care about principles, honesty and character. If you care more
about breaking a glass ceiling than climate change, if you care more
about name recognition than income inequality, If you care more
about "Party" than principle, I won't help you in November.
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