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Mira

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Member since: Thu Oct 21, 2004, 05:06 PM
Number of posts: 20,014

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At 10 pm you can turn on the tele / HBO / also streaming live on youtube / Bill Maher back TONIGHT

GUESTS:

Jane Fonda, Keith Olbermann, Heather McGhee, Jon Meacham, Dept. of Labor Sec. Thomas Perez.

http://www.real-time-with-bill-maher-blog.com/index/2017/1/13/bill-at-his-best

Stifled myself from entering this in the current contest:A new beginning

"After the measuring: New curtains in the Oval"

Bush Counting Down Days Until He Is No Longer Worst President in History -Borowitz satire





DALLAS (The Borowitz Report)—Former President George W. Bush is eagerly counting down the days until he is no longer the worst President in U.S. history, Bush confirmed on Tuesday.

Speaking to reporters at his home, Bush said that he “could hardly wait” until Friday, when he will be officially bounced from the worst-President slot.

“I have to admit, I never thought I’d see this day in my lifetime,” the former President said. “When you leave office with the nation in smoldering ruins, you sort of come to accept that you’re gonna be worst for a long, long time.”

“I guess you could say I set the bar kind of high, worst-wise,” he chuckled.

As the returns came in on Election Night, however, the former President suddenly realized that his days as the worst President in U.S. history might be coming to an abrupt end.

“Holy cow,” Bush remembered saying to himself. “Just holy cow.”

While Bush recognizes that many Americans are dreading Friday’s Inauguration, he said he hoped that they could “sort of understand” why he might see things differently.

“To be honest, Friday can’t come fast enough for me,” he said. “I’m like a kid waiting for Christmas.”





www.borowitzreport.com

Karaoke Machine Backs Out of Performing at Inauguration: Borowitz reports



WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump’s plans for a triumphal Inauguration were upended over the weekend when a karaoke machine that had been engaged to perform at the event abruptly backed out.

In an official statement, the karaoke machine said that it was withdrawing because it “did not want my participation at the Inauguration to in any way be construed as an endorsement of Donald Trump.”

The President-elect wasted no time in lashing out at the karaoke machine, taking to Twitter in the early hours of the morning to call the entertainment device a “loser” and “sad.”

But Kellyanne Conway, Trump’s adviser, attempted to minimize the machine’s departure in an appearance on Fox News. “Naturally, we’re disappointed in the karaoke machine’s decision, but we still have Jackie Evancho,” she said.



www.borowitzreport.com

Curb -URINE- thusiasm (phrase is courtesy of Trevor Noah)

and then there's this conversation which showed up in my inbox



NIXON:
No way you can pull off a more scandal-ridden presidency than I did

TRUMP: Hold my beer

NIXON:
Wait! This isn't beer.

President BHO is not the only one I'll miss! There is also Joe Biden.

Found on Facebook: Cheaper and more valuable than Trump's "Wall"

What needed to happen at the press conference --- maybe we can learn for next time

Mr. Trump disrespected the reporter from CNN - and then threatened him with removal should he ask a question in spite of being told by Trump not to.

The entire press corps should have stood up and left.

That's a way to deal with a bully.

Listening to the missing meat of the "presser" opening statement of Mister Trump

greatest - real - tremendous - beautiful - amazing - massive - a lot of good news coming - phantastic - truly - top of the line - great - be greatly impressed

I will now take a nap and wait for all this bounty to attach itself to something real.

Was planning to post this visual after the President's speech,

but I can already tell I will be too emotional then.

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