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The
Supremos - Episode 21
July 25,
2001
by The Shifties
OPENING
SCENE: A search is being conducted by hundreds of police officers
in an area near Rock Creek Park in Washington DC. One of the
officers notices a man wandering about by himself, and calls
to him.
Policeman:
Hey you! This is a restricted area!
Stranger:
It's all right, Officer. I'm a Justice of the United States
Supreme Court!
Policeman:
(approaching) Oh my gosh, you're Clarence Thomas!
Justice
Thomas: Indeedy, Officer.
Policeman:
May I ask what you're doing out here, sir?
Justice
Thomas: I was just on my way home when I caught sight
of all you fellows and I thought I'd stop and see what you
were up to.
Policeman:
Um, we're looking for Chandra Levy, sir.
Justice
Thomas: (frowning) Who's he?
Policeman:
She, sir. The intern who disappeared a few weeks ago.
Justice
Thomas: Don't believe I know her.
Policeman:
Well, allegedly she was having a affair with Representative
Condit of California, sir, before she vanished…
Justice
Thomas: (sharply) Allegedly? ALLEGEDLY? I hope
you're not participating in the dissemination of gossip about
a public figure, Officer.
Policeman:
Me?
Justice
Thomas: Because there are a lot of women out there who
will stop at nothing to bring low a man of power and achievement.
Policeman:
I wouldn't know about that, sir.
Justice
Thomas: Personally, I think it's penis envy.
Policeman:
Uh, I believe the Representative admitted the affair.
Justice
Thomas: Just because he confessed doesn't mean it's true,
young man.
Policeman:
It doesn't?
Justice
Thomas: He could be under pressure from inner demons that
cause him to act in ways contradictory to his real character.
Policeman:
He can?
Justice
Thomas: Take my word for it. By the way, this Levy isn't
a middle-aged black law professor who likes to tease her male
colleagues with a seductive walk and a sassy smile, is she?
Policeman:
No, sir.
Justice
Thomas: All right then. (looking around) Well,
maybe I can help search. I'll just look over here, if it's
okay with you.
Policeman:
Try not to disturb anything, sir.
Justice
Thomas gets down on his hands and knees and peers at the grass
and brush.
Policeman:
You don't have to crawl, sir.
Justice
Thomas: I'm used to it.
Suddenly
he lets out a piercing shriek. The policeman rushes over.
Policeman:
What is it?
Justice
Thomas: I've found bones! Bones, you hear me?
Policeman:
Let me see those!
Justice
Thomas: Oh my God, I'll have nightmares...
Policeman:
I don't think these are Ms. Levy, sir.
Justice
Thomas: You don't?
Policeman:
They're only a few inches long. I think they came from that
KFC box over there in the trash receptacle, sir.
Justice
Thomas: I think we ought to let the Medical Examiner see
them before we jump to conclusions, my young friend.
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