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The
Supremos - Episode 20
July 18,
2001
by The Shifties
OPENING
SCENE: The White House. Press Secretary Ari Fleischer is meeting
with Bush aide Karl Rove and Presidential advisor Karen Hughes.
Fleischer:
Next item. The President's approval rating fell again.
Hughes:
A slump, that's all.
Fleischer:
For the ninth consecutive week.
Hughes:
Shit.
Fleischer:
We have to spin it.
Rove:
Blame the media.
Fleischer:
(shaking his head) I used that up on the tax cut.
Rove:
Democrats sabotaging us in Congress?
Fleischer:
It would be more convincing if our biggest critics weren't
other Republicans. We need something new.
No one
says anything for a full minute.
Rove:
You know I don't like new, Ari.
Fleischer:
We all have to sacrifice, Karl.
Hughes:
What about a special prosecutor to go after Gary Condit?
Rove:
(groans) Ken Starr ruined that forever.
Fleischer:
(claps hands) Come on, people! You're creative professionals!
Rove:
(grumbling) I liked it better when we just made up
stuff about Clinton's dick.
Just
then the door opens and Justice Supremo walks in.
Justice
Supremo: Sorry, I was lookin' for the can.
Fleisher:
Down the hall and... wait a minute! Mr. Justice, perhaps you
can help us with a little problem.
Justice
Supremo: Make it fast, I don't wanna stain these pants.
Fleisher:
The President's approval rating keeps falling.
Justice
Supremo: (puzzled) So what?
Rove:
It means the people don't like him.
Justice
Supremo: (snorts) The people? The friggin' people
voted for Al Gore. (thinks) I got it. Say that falling
polls are a sign of character.
Rove:
What?
Justice
Supremo: Everybody knows you judge a man by the quality
of his enemies. If people don't like the President, it just
means he's a man of principle.
Fleischer:
Interesting - unpopularity as a political asset. (sees
Nino fidgeting) Sorry, it's down the hall on your left.
Justice
Supremo exits. Rove, Hughes, and Fleisher look at one another.
Fleischer:
You have to admit he's good.
Rove:
(sniffs) He always smells like garlic.
Hughes:
You're such a Nazi, Karl.
To
be continued...
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