|
The
Supremos - Episode 15
June 13,
2001
by The Shifties
OPENING
SCENE: Orlando, Florida - the gates of Disney World. Two men
arrive wearing giant plush animal costumes.
Minnie
Mouse: Rush, is that you in there?
Daisy
Duck: Is that you, George? Why did we have to be Minnie
Mouse and Daisy Duck, anyway?
Minnie
Mouse/George Will: We're infiltrating Gay Pride Day at
Disney World -- Mickey and Donald would be too butch. (notices
something) Shhh! I think that man over there is staring
at me!
Daisy
Duck/Rush Limbaugh: He's a policeman, George.
Minnie
Mouse/George Will: Are you absolutely certain of that,
Rush?
Daisy
Duck/Rush Limbaugh: Come to think of it, I haven't
seen many officers wearing a codpiece.
SCENE:
the Chambers of Justice Supremo. Nino is meeting privately
with Health Secretary "Tommy" Thompson.
Justice
Supremo: You ever meet Chief Justice Rehnquist's daughter,
Tommy? She's a lawyer, too. Jane, or Janet, I forget. Real
smart girl.
Secretary
Thompson: Oh, no you don't. I'm not hiring in any more
offspring. Why don't you send her over to Labor? They always
need lawyers.
Justice
Supremo: Nope, they hired my Gino. It's your turn in the
barrel.
Secretary
Thompson: (groaning) I just told the President
I would cut our legal department twenty percent.
Justice
Supremo: So fire somebody else's kids. Look, it's an emergency.
If she don't get a better-paying job, she'll start borrowing
her mother's Visa card.
Secretary
Thompson: Well, I'm sorry about that.
Justice
Supremo: You're sorry? It ain't your friggin' Visa.
Secretary
Thompson: It would be better if she was a nurse. There's
a shortage.
Justice
Supremo: I know a guy could make her up a nice diploma.
Secretary
Thompson: No. It's just… I promised the President. He
gave me this job.
Justice
Supremo: And we gave him his job. You owe him, you owe
us. (looks down at his desk calendar and changes the subject).
Hey, you know what? My colleagues and I are thinkin' of upholding
that suit against that HMO.
Secretary
Thompson: (stricken look) You promised to reverse
that.
Justice
Supremo: Did I? I make so many promises. (leafing through
calendar). And here's one about Medicare prescription
price controls. We were gonna pass, but now that I think about
it, there's some real interesting legal issues we could examine…
Secretary
Thompson: (panicked) NO! I could lose my job!
Justice
Supremo: Look at the bright side. You and the Chief's
daughter could go shopping together.
Secretary
Thompson: All right. She can be our Inspector General.
Justice
Supremo: Just make sure it's six figures. Otherwise she'll
be askin' her Mom for the Visa.
SCENE:
Inside Disney World.
Daisy
Duck/Rush Limbaugh: I think that man over there is looking
at me.
Minnie
Mouse/George Will: So?
Daisy
Duck/Rush Limbaugh: I mean, looking at me, George.
Minnie
Mouse/George Will: For God's sake, he's old enough to
be your grandfather.
Daisy
Duck/Rush Limbaugh: Oh my God - it is my grandfather!!
To
be continued...
|
