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The
Supremos - Episode 13
May 30,
2001
by The Shifties
OPENING
SCENE: Late night. Justice Supremo is sitting in his suite
at the Bohemian Grove conference center, drinking brandy and
smoking a cigar. Suddenly there is a knock at the door.
Justice
Supremo: Who the hell is it?
Voice:
Jeb Bush.
Justice
Supremo: Stop fuggin' around, Clarence.
Voice:
It's really me, Justice Supremo. The Governor of Florida.
Justice
Supremo: (tamps out cigar) What's your brother's
position on devaluation of the dollar?
Voice:
He won't have one until 20 minutes before the press conference.
Justice
Supremo: Hey, it is you!
Gets
up, opens door. Governor Bush enters.
Jeb Bush:
I'm sorry about the hour, Mr. Justice. But I'm in trouble
and my father said you could help...
Justice
Supremo: Me? I am only a simple public servant who has
been blessed with many, many friends. Have a seat.
They
sit. Nino relights his cigar.
Justice
Supremo: It so happens I've heard about your troubles.
Tell me this: did you have sex with her?
Jeb Bush:
No. (hesitates) I am assured there is no photographic
evidence to the contrary.
Justice
Supremo: It don't matter. Somethin' you gotta understand,
kid. You're a Republican. Voters don't expect this from you.
Embezzlement, sure. Bank fraud, okay. Wholesale oppression
of the masses - it's a tradition, right? But sex is for Kennedys.
Just
then the bathroom door opens and a shapely young blonde woman
emerges. Without a word, she puts on her dress, picks up an
envelope off the table, and exits.
Jeb Bush:
(startled) Who was that?
Justice
Supremo: I didn't see nobody.
Jeb Bush:
Oh.
Justice
Supremo: Now how much is it gonna take to fix this?
Jeb Bush:
Well, her career is ruined. She'll have to relocate, start
over…
Justice
Supremo: Hundred grand.
Jeb Bush:
This is a loyal Republican lady!
Justice
Supremo: Two hundred.
Jeb Bush
nods, embarrassed.
Justice
Supremo: You know you coulda had anal with the Rockettes
for a third of that.
Jeb Bush:
(surprised) That's just what Poppy said!
Justice
Supremo: You should be wonderin' how he knew that. Hold
on a minnit. (pulls out black book, looks up phone number,
dials) Yeah, get me Wayne over at the NRA. (holds)
Sorry to wake ya. I got a friend here needs help with a little
problem. Of course he's pro-gun. (listens) Oh yeah,
I forgot you changed it. He's "pro-freedom". One second. (puts
hand over phone) How much again?
Jeb Bush:
Two hundred.
Justice
Supremo: (into telephone) Three hundred thousand
dollars. Fifties is fine. Thanks, buddy. (hangs up)
Be here tomorrow morning.
Jeb Bush:
The extra money is for...?
Justice
Supremo: And I thought you were the smart one.
Jeb Bush:
Yes, of course. I don't know how to thank you.
Justice
Supremo: It ain't me you gotta thank. You owe a guy named
Wayne four hundred thousand bucks.
Jeb Bush:
(shocked) But how am I supposed to get that kind of
cash?
Justice
Supremo: Three words: Everglades Reclamation Project.
Now getouttaheah. I'm an old man, I'm sleepy.
Jeb Bush
leaves. Nino picks up the phone.
Justice
Supremo: Room service? Send the redhead. (listens)
Well tell Heston I saw her first.
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