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The
Supremos - Episode 10
May 9,
2001
by The Shifties
OPENING
SCENE: Early one spring morning. Justice Supremo sneaks out
of his house, still dressed in robe and slippers, retrieves
newspapers, and tiptoes back inside.
Justice
Supremo: First the bad news. (opens Washington Post)
"Controversy over Pictures of Supremo and Streisand." Talk
about your yellow journalism. (turns to Washington Times)
"Pro-Gore Terrorists Slander Hero of American Jurisprudence."
Now that's some objective reporting.
Mrs.
Supremo yells from kitchen.
Mrs.
Supremo: Nino! Come see how nice your son looks all dressed
up for his big job!
Justice
Supremo: Hey, Gino, this your first day? Lemme check you
out. (inspects son's suit) What's with the striped
tie, you turnin' into a Presbyterian? Put on that yellow silk
one with the fishes.
Gino
Supremo: Aw Pop, don't make me.
Justice
Supremo: At least use more Vitalis. Your cowlick is showin'.
So what's your new title, anyway?
Gino
Supremo: (consults slip of paper) "Solicitor for
the Department of Labor". I'm not sure what that means.
Justice
Supremo: Means your old man's on the Supreme Court, that's
what. (ruffles Gino's hair.) Now go solicit somethin'.
Gino
Supremo exits. Justice Supremo picks up the phone and dials.
Justice
Supremo: Labor Department? Put me through to Elaine Chao,
please. (waits) Hey, Madame Secretary, it's Justice
Supremo. I just want to thank you for givin' Gino a job. I
was getting worried there. I thought I was gonna have to put
him on a stool out by the front gate. (Listens) Yeah,
those unions are the shits. Listen, they give you trouble,
tell'em Nino Supremo's thinkin' the government oughtta extend
NAFTA to Taiwan.
SCENE:
In the psychiatrist's office
Dr. Phlemmi:
I saw the article in the Post.
Justice
Supremo: You should read the Washington Times. Moonies
are real journalists.
Dr. Phlemmi:
Is your wife upset about the publicity?
Justice
Supremo: She don't know.
Dr. Phlemmi:
It's all over the news.
Justice
Supremo: I unplugged the TV set and told her it was broke.
Hey, I had a dream. I was in this big squishy dark tunnel
with ferns all around the entrance. This giant locomotive
came steamin' through.
Dr. Phlemmi:
Sounds like a sex fantasy.
Justice
Supremo: Think so? I got a confession to make. I think
about having sex with you.
Dr. Phlemmi:
It's not uncommon for patients in therapy to fantasize about
the therapist.
Justice
Supremo: So you wanna do it?
Dr. Phlemmi:
That's completely inappropriate.
Justice
Supremo: Oh, I almost forgot. I can't make next week.
I gotta go to the big Republican do in the California woods.
Dr. Phlemmi:
A meeting in the forest?
Justice
Supremo: An old campground north of San Francisco, name
of Bohemian Grove. Kissinger used to go there. It's your basic
Republican party -- booze, seafood, and whores. A chance for
George W. Bush to meet the boss.
Dr. Phlemmi:
I thought he was the boss.
Justice
Supremo: (snorts derisively) Sure, and Mr. Sulu's
captain of the Enterprise.
SCENE:
Bohemian Grove. George Will and Rush Limbaugh are installing
electronic bugs in the light fixtures.
Rush
Limbaugh: Owwww! It shocked me! You know, the CIA has
people to do this sort of thing.
George
Will: The CIA has an operating budget. There, that's the
last one.
Rush
Limbaugh: Why are we spying on Republicans, anyway?
George
Will: Because they're not just Republicans. They're Catholics.
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