The Supremos - Episode 20
July 18, 2001
by The Shifties

OPENING SCENE: The White House. Press Secretary Ari Fleischer is meeting with Bush aide Karl Rove and Presidential advisor Karen Hughes.

Fleischer: Next item. The President's approval rating fell again.

Hughes: A slump, that's all.

Fleischer: For the ninth consecutive week.

Hughes: Shit.

Fleischer: We have to spin it.

Rove: Blame the media.

Fleischer: (shaking his head) I used that up on the tax cut.

Rove: Democrats sabotaging us in Congress?

Fleischer: It would be more convincing if our biggest critics weren't other Republicans. We need something new.

No one says anything for a full minute.

Rove: You know I don't like new, Ari.

Fleischer: We all have to sacrifice, Karl.

Hughes: What about a special prosecutor to go after Gary Condit?

Rove: (groans) Ken Starr ruined that forever.

Fleischer: (claps hands) Come on, people! You're creative professionals!

Rove: (grumbling) I liked it better when we just made up stuff about Clinton's dick.

Just then the door opens and Justice Supremo walks in.

Justice Supremo: Sorry, I was lookin' for the can.

Fleisher: Down the hall and... wait a minute! Mr. Justice, perhaps you can help us with a little problem.

Justice Supremo: Make it fast, I don't wanna stain these pants.

Fleisher: The President's approval rating keeps falling.

Justice Supremo: (puzzled) So what?

Rove: It means the people don't like him.

Justice Supremo: (snorts) The people? The friggin' people voted for Al Gore. (thinks) I got it. Say that falling polls are a sign of character.

Rove: What?

Justice Supremo: Everybody knows you judge a man by the quality of his enemies. If people don't like the President, it just means he's a man of principle.

Fleischer: Interesting - unpopularity as a political asset. (sees Nino fidgeting) Sorry, it's down the hall on your left.

Justice Supremo exits. Rove, Hughes, and Fleisher look at one another.

Fleischer: You have to admit he's good.

Rove: (sniffs) He always smells like garlic.

Hughes: You're such a Nazi, Karl.

To be continued...

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