|
 Movie
Reviews by Sen. Phil Gramm (R-Texas)
 Tell
a friend about Phil on Films
Downward
Angel
Starring
Matt Schulze and Gabrielle Fitzpatrick
All the "inner turmoil" in this movie gave ME inner turmoil,
if you know what I mean. Thank the Lord I took some Imodium AD to the
theater. Based on the title I had some pre-conceived notions about "Downward
Angel", and I can honestly say I was somewhat confused. I was expecting
this to be a biblical epic on the scale of last week's masterpiece "Left
Behind", but alas, it wasn't to be. For a start, there weren't any
angels in it AT ALL - although it's possible that I missed them when I
was in the bathroom.
 Two
Flags out of Five
Saving
Silverman
Starring Jason Biggs and Jack Black
The likable Jason Biggs (American Pie) stars as a young
man potentially marrying the wrong girl. His wacky friends try to save
the day by reuniting him with a long-lost love. High jinks ensue. While
I wasn't overly impressed with Biggs in this movie, at least he wasn't
constantly masturbating.
Three
Flags out of Five
El
Norte
Starring Zaide Silvia Gutierrez and David Villalpando
I think I can sum up this movie in one word: Foreign.
No Flags out of Five
Split
Decision
Starring Jesus Chavez
I was disappointed to discover that this movie was NOT a
documentary about the exciting yet conclusively decided election battle,
but was, in fact, a documentary about boxing Mexicans. This movie did
have one redeeming feature: the star had the decency to share his first
name with the Son of God. Good for you, Jesus.
One Flag out of Five
Hannibal
Starring Anthony Hopkins and Julianne Moore
Violent, violent, violent! That's what I screamed at the
top of my voice during the opening credits of this movie, and my predictions
soon proved to be true. Anthony Hopkins returns as the creepy Dr. Lecter
and Julianne Moore plays Jodie Foster in this sequel to the disgustingly
morbid "Silence of the Lambs". I was so offended by "Hannibal"
that I puked on my shoes as I hustled out of the theater halfway through
the movie, the audience's taunts and laughter ringing in my ears.
No
Flags out of Five
New On Video
Urban Legends - Final Cut
If your idea of fun is watching a maniac preying on
scantily-clad sorority girls, then this movie is for me. I mean, you.
Dr.
T and the Women
I liked Richard Gere, but unfortunately the word "vagina"
makes me violently ill.
Tell
a friend about Phil on Films
Movie
Review Index
|
