Hey, check it out - it turns out that some conservatives CAN read and write after all. And the ones that have this special ability are very proud of it indeed. To show off their skills they've showered us with emails telling us exactly what they think of us - in no uncertain terms! Well done, conservatives. Now for lesson two of your life skills class, go over to your Bose Wave Radio and slowly turn the dial all the way away from the 24-hour right-wing hate radio station...
These are all completely real. E-mail addresses and last names have been removed (well, the ones that aren't fake), but we have NOT edited them for content, grammar, or spelling.
Worst Display Of Stupidity... Ever
Date: Wed, 6 Jun 2001 08:11:11 EDT
Subject: no need to worry any more
This is worst display of stupidity I have ever seen. The postings and information on your web site assure me that liberalism and the Demoratic party are nothing to fear. I was starting to worry thinking the Demorats might make a comeback but you have taken care of those fears. The American people will have little to do with people of your make. American people are good, decent and honorable.
Thank you very much!!!
DU RESPONDS: Okay folks, will this guy think that the American people are good, decent and honorable when they kick Bush's ass out in 2004, or will he think they should all move back to Commieland? Place your bets!
Hey, This Must Be One Of Those Good, Decent And Honorable Pals Of Yours
Date: Mon, 18 Jun 2001 18:05:02 EDT
Subject: Dems growing some balls
Shazam -now only if they could grow some fucking brains. That would truly be the goddam miracle of all time! O by the way GO FUCK YOURSELF YA BUNCH OF HOMO DICK SUCKING FAGS.
DU RESPONDS: Mr. Gunnner is responsible for the "Communist Fukwads" email from Volume 6. After we posted that message, he sent us another email saying "Man you guys are way too easy! Hook line and sinker!" We assumed he was implying that he was only PRETENDING to be a hate-filled bigot (um, hilarious). But evidently, we were wrong. Congratulations Mr. Gunnner! Conservatives everywhere must be feeling so proud to be associated with you.
Some People Obviously Have Way Too Much Time On Their Hands
From: "Joe -. ------" <-------@bellsouth.net>
Date: Wed, 6 Jun 2001 15:22:15 -0400
Hey, I got logged on and posted two messages and now I can't log on anymore, what's up with that? I'm a homosexual, African American hockey player.....you guys ever heard of diveristy?
From: -------@bellsouth.net (Joe ------)
Date: Wed, 6 Jun 2001 15:44:04 -0400
I just got my login address today and I can't logon already. I'm a transexual, Asian American golf pro, ever heard of diversity?
From: -------@bellsouth.net (Joe ------)
Date: Wed, 6 Jun 2001 15:58:53 -0400
Subject: WWW Form Submission
I can't login, any reason why? I'm gonna call Jesse Jackson if you don't let me in cuz I'm an African American.
From: "Joe -. ------" -------@bellsouth.net
Date: Thu, 7 Jun 2001 16:39:28 -0400
Hey, what's up, I'm a pinko commie, homosexual, NAMBLA member, baby killing, hippie freak, why can't I get in?
From: --------@msn.com (joe)
Date: Sat, 9 Jun 2001 20:32:44 -0400
Hey, I'm a transexual Asian American hairdresser, ever heard of diveristy, why can't I get in?
From: "Joe ------" --------@email.msn.com
Date: Sun, 10 Jun 2001 21:59:07 -0400
hey, why can't I log on?
DU RESPONDS: Oh dear...
Good, Decent And Honorable, Part 2
From: --------@aol.com (wik)
Date: Sat, 9 Jun 2001 17:19:58 -0400
Subject: for your hate mail bag...
I Can't help but notice that similar sites on the right.... ..have no such place.
Sincerely? Get Bent. Commie hacks have no place in the realm of intellectual debate. As your court-appointed attorney, I strongly advise you to go fuck yourself. I have thought long and hard about a serious and intellectual discourse on why this site offends me and why I just cannot believe that Any adult of free mind could buy into this poop. Then I thought: Why waste my time? Thus I am left with only this. Go Fuck Yourself. please. You deserve it.If there is a hell, I hope to look over and see all of you next to me. In a REAL, LONG, LINE. Fuck you very much, since this your favorite adjective.
DU RESPONDS: "I have thought long and hard about a serious and intellectual discourse on why this site offends me..." - but the best you could come up with was a string of obscenities. Well done, brainiac!
Well He Still Sounds Fat On The Radio
Date: Mon, 11 Jun 2001 16:44:24 EDT
Subject: No Subject
For your information, Rush Limbaugh is not fat, although he might find it amusing that you insist on propogating this lie about him. He was concerned about his health, and took steps to improve it, and if you have seen him on TV anytime recently, it is obvious that it has worked. Hopefully this will result in one less lie in your bag of tricks. Have a nice day.
DU RESPONDS: Hmmm. We find it quite suspicious that people are constantly writing us to claim that Rush isn't fat any more. After all, there's no smoke without fire now is there? And yes, we've seen Rush on TV recently. It's amazing what the guys at Industrial Light and Magic can do these days. Face it: Rush has eaten all the pies. You're just in denial.
Darwinism At Its Absolute Finest
From: "Jim ----" <-----@------.net>
Date: Tue, 12 Jun 2001 20:46:52 -0600
Subject: Tax Cuts
DemoCRAPS, I plan to take my tax cut fill up my SUV with gas, light a cigarette, and go to ao gun show. When I return home, I'll change my oil and dispose of it in the sewer drain. How about you all?
DU RESPONDS: By all means, go ahead and light a cigarette while filling up your SUV with gas. Good luck getting to the gun show!
Not A Professional Writer
From: "----------, DENNIS" <-----------@--------.com>
Date: Tue, 12 Jun 2001 22:37:33 -0500
To: "'firstname.lastname@example.org'" <email@example.com>
Subject: Good luck
I read your article gov. as civilization, as you can probably tel I am not a profesionel writer and I dont do this often but I felt I must respond to this promotion of slavery and human misery.People create and achiev when they are free from Gov. more money in my pocket and less in DC. is more freedome for me bottom line you cannot argue with that! however the great Thamas Jefferson said that the natueral order is for Gov. to expand and liberty to yield soyou may win the war but I would rather die on the losing side than live as a sniveling leftist!
DU RESPONDS: Dear Dennis. Sorry, but we must reject your review of our article. While we understand that you must have spent a good deal of time and effort on it, please understand that we tend to pay more attention to literary critics who have at least a fundamental grasp of the English lanuage. Thank you for your time.
That Conservative Agenda In Full
Date: Sat, 16 Jun 2001 19:41:28 -0400
Subject: No Subject
How about a Liberal! like Bill Clinton who screwed the economy. i am so sick and tired of you guys making fun of George W. Bush.
You are now Democrats because the father of this party (Andrew Jackson) throught like a Republican. its like Reagan said "I didnt leave the democratic party, the party left me"
Drill for Oil
setup more Power plants
stuff that will help the economy not the wel-fare people, like the liberals do when they raise taxes
Love to hear from you Liberals anytime.
[I am Conservative-Republican]
DU RESPONDS: ZZZZzzzzzzzzz.... eh, what? Oh, sorry, thought you were saying something important.
For God's Sake, Did NONE Of You People Go To School?
From: ------------@hotmail.com (Maxine )
Date: Sun, 17 Jun 2001 20:55:22 -0400
Subject: You are ass holes
Some one in your outfit is really good with Adobe. Nice job on the Bush head with someone else's body. You people are so pathetic. Must be you are in your mid 20's to late 30's. You can't see past next week. I think you all deserve the V.I. award. But, then again, I think people are already looking for you who have already awarded you with it. Village Idiot. I was a registerd democrat my whole life. Until Bill Clinton came into office. What a joke. Had to go republican, because the democrats, especially Willy, were thinking with the wrong heads. So glad people do not take your web site seriously.
Maxine in Pennsylvania.
DU RESPONDS: At least we didn't spend our entire lives mistakenly thinking we were members of the opposing political party. That would have been REALLY silly!
This Guy Just Doesn't Get It
From: -------@hotmail.com (John ----)
Date: Wed, 20 Jun 2001 16:05:46 -0400
You guys are spineless, you bumped me after my first day on your site even though I never even alluded to the copious profanity that I encountered on your site.
All I did was try to introduce cogent arguments to refute whatever shred of rationality I could root out on the site.
If you have to squash any hint of dissent you might want to check your premise.
Otherwise, you might want to consult Stalinist or Nazi protocol in order to discern the most effective way of crushing the free flow of opposing ideas.
Would you burn all conservative books if you could? You would wouldn't you?
Be honest with yourself, You'd love to go on a book burning binge.
Think about that. You'd burn the opinions that you disagree with rather than attempt to refute them. You stand for the rights of the "little guy?" Don't fool yourself. You stand for the government (fallible people) exerting power over the "free" masses in order to advance your agenda, just like the religious right. You're just like them, you just have a different agenda.
Enjoy your time,
DU RESPONDS: Dude, you got us. We liberals love to burn books - almost as much as we love to bomb abortion clinics and persecute homosexuals. By the way, do you think we could walk into a meeting of your local party and try to "introduce cogent arguments to refute whatever shred of rationality we could root out?" Or do you think we'd be shown the door? Remember: If you have to squash any hint of dissent you might want to check your premise. Dumbass.