These are all completely real. E-mail addresses and last names have been removed (well, the ones that aren't fake), but we have NOT edited them for content, grammar, or spelling.
Ooh, A Reply To Last Week's Smackdown!
Date: Sun, 20 May 2001 19:37:38 EDT
Subject: In response..
Okay, let's go through
this point by point.
A) Because we can. Ain't it a pisser?
B) See point A.
So you are inconsistent?
C) So it doesn't bother you that we have a system where a candidate can be voted for by a majority of the voters and yet not win?
A) It does not matter, we are not going to change the law after the fact. If you want to change it later that's another story. Bush still won legally, and that's what counts. I don't recall anyone complaining before the election.
Your analogy is a little shaky though, Matt. How about this one - if a group of nine (5 conservative, 4 liberal) people voted 5-4 that the United States of America should be raped, does that make it legal? Oh, guess it does.
And your point is?
DU RESPONDS: Obviously this person hasn't cottoned on to the fact that the Hate Mailbag is where we publish people's emails to make fun of them, and mistakenly thinks that we are going to debate him. Note the way that he asks further questions in the hope of soliciting a repsonse. Observe the slightly odd way in which he has made his point "A," but seems to have mislaid his point "B." Picture the sweat pouring from his forehead as he frantically pounds out a repsonse to THIS, only for it to be filtered direcly and unceremoniously into our Deleted Items folder, even after we just told him it will be filtered direcly and unceremoniously into our Deleted Items folder...
It's Amazing How Quickly The Tables Can Turn, Ain't It?
From: -------@HOTMAIL.COM (pETER -----)
Date: Thu, 17 May 2001 00:16:26 -0400
Subject: Fuck you sorelosermen ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaa!!!
yes fuck you
DU RESPONDS: How amusing that one week after receiving this email, Jim Jeffords handed control of the Senate over to the Democrats. To which we can only respond: Ha Ha Ha Ha Haaaaaaaaa!!!
Somebody Doesn't Like The Top Ten Conservative Idiots...
From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Conservative Idiot)
Date: Sat, 26 May 2001 18:34:45 -0400
Subject: The Idiot that authored the above
After eight years of government being under the rule of a pea brain knot head, all his supports have to respond with is the moronic comments on the worse ten conservatives, I lay a wager that the authors parents are wishing that Birth Control was retro-active
DU RESPONDS: Would that be the same "retro-active birth control" that people were recently suggesting Jim Jeffords should receive? We'll give you conservatives one thing - you sure know how to threaten people! Although we're not sure "pea brain knot head" will go down too well at the next Militia meeting. You might want to step up the insult-factor a little.
Boo Hoo, Prospector Wants To Play And We Won't Let Him
From: -------@------.net (--------- -------- -----)
Date: Fri, 1 Jun 2001 11:39:05 -0400
Come on you spineless idiots, let me back in so I can defend myself, you chicken hearted jerks. Have some balls for a change instead of a Yellow Streak!
DU RESPONDS: Or what, you'll poop in your drawers? Well, if you want to waste your time trying to get into our forums so you can spew your homophobic filth, Mr. Prospector, then go ahead. But just think, you could spend that time reading a book, or gardening, or playing cards, or watching "The Patriot" and wondering why you're so strangely attracted to Heath Ledger.
We Swear We Didn't Make This Up
From: -------@yahoo.com (David - ------)
Date: Tue, 22 May 2001 21:45:50 -0400
Subject: Comunist Fukwads
You people are so fuked int
he head! you think all dem niggas spooks mexcans and ilegall immigrntts shold
have special guvermeent hand outs. WELL FUK YOU1 SORRY ASS FUKWADS! YOU SUCK!
Come down to GODs country (the SOUTH) and and we will fuk you up. Bunch of GODDAM
DU RESPONDS: Sir, we're going to translate our response so you can understand it: your a racest biggut.