We haven't had too much hate mail lately. Guess that's because
we're such lovable rogues. It appears that even the conservatives
have a soft spot for our satirical shenanigans. Either that
or they're just a bunch of lazy bums. Come on conservatives!
Where's the outrage? Anyway, here's the latest batch, and
are all completely real. E-mail addresses and last names have
been removed (well, the ones that aren't fake), but we have
NOT edited them for content, grammar, or spelling.
Power Of Ron
-------------@hotmail.com (Ron ------)
Date: Thu, 22 Feb 2001 18:01:28 -0500
I got the FBI to shut down that email harassment page to President
Have a nice
psychotic democrat day!
FOX NEWS FANATICS
RESPONDS: Um, Ron - bad news. The FBI probably
get email from wackos ALL DAY. And that could be why your
message ended up in their trashcan and we didn't hear a peep
out of them. Better luck next time.
Spin Me Right Round, Baby
"Cathy ---------" <----------@home.com>
Date: Mon, 26 Feb 2001 09:05:20 -0800
Subject: Your page is full of propaganda, half-truths
never do as well as the conservative web pages such as Druge
Report, and Newmax.com because you have to "SPIN" to commentate.
"SPIN" = LIES and democrats are particularly good at it.
find columinist because the DEMOCRATIC PARTY HAS TURNED INTO
A BUNCH OF LYING, SPINNING CRIMINALS LIKE YOUR BELOVED PRESIDENT.
RESPONDS: Cathy, we hate to admit it,
but you're right. We went over to www.drugereport.com
and goshdarnit, we couldn't find a single lie or fabrication.
Cathy Again! Hey Cathy!
"Cathy ---------" <------@-----.net>
Date: Mon, 26 Feb 2001 12:07:23 -0800
Subject: gore is a loser. na-na-na-na-na
RESPONDS: Whoops, looks like Cathy's meds wore
off before she managed to write a message.
Somebody Think Of The Children?
Date: Mon, 26 Feb 2001 17:33:22 EST
Subject: sick people
a bunch of sick little boys and girls. Get over yourselves
and get some real jobs.
RESPONDS: Would you believe it? When
we are not working at DU we actually hold jobs as pediatricians
at the local children's hospital. Thus we do indeed spend
most of our day with a bunch of sick little boys and girls!
Sir, are you psychic?
No, Now WE'RE Conservative Idiots!
From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Conservative
Date: Mon, 12 Mar 2001 14:20:37 -0500
Subject: Democratic Underground
the result of your feedback form. It was submitted by Conservative
Idiot (email@example.com) on Monday, March
12, 2001 at 14:20:37
Your column is boring, and the reasons yu give for your nominations,
are utterly absurb. Your nominees and the reasons you give
are so trite and inane it borders on the idiotic.
RESPONDS: Argh! Skewered on the pointy
stick of our own Idiots submission form... oh, the irony...
the overwhelming irony...
Successfully Reads Between The Lines
From: "Keith --------" <---------@--.--.com>
Reply-To: "Keith --------" <---------@--.--.com>
Date: Thu, 1 Mar 2001 19:21:08 -0500
intern position, must one perform intern duties similar to
those performed by the White House intern staff on the last
RESPONDS: You bet your sweet buns, Keith
baby. Are you in?
Did You Miss Something Important?
From: "RONDALD ------" <-------@prodigy.net>
Date: Wed, 7 Mar 2001 22:56:55 -0500
Subject: lieing ass democrat lunatics
democrats should all be underground. Long live president elect
RESPONDS: Hi Rondald (if that's your
real name, assuming that you can spell your own name of course).
Sorry, but we're not from Waco. And I think that your parent
or guardian must have neglected to tell you that Bush was
inaugurated on January 20th.