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Trump Dogged By Rumors His Hair is Not From U.S. (Borowitz)

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pokerfan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-24-11 08:03 PM
Original message
Trump Dogged By Rumors His Hair is Not From U.S. (Borowitz)
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) A threat to the fledgling presidential campaign of Donald Trump emerged today, as a group of activists charged that Mr. Trump is not eligible to hold the nations highest office because his hair does not originate from the U.S.

The group, who call themselves Balders, claim that the hair-like substance that crowns Mr. Trumps head is from a foreign country, which would mean that the candidate is less than one hundred percent American.

Time and time again, Donald Trump has refused to produce a certificate of authenticity for his hair, said Leeann Selwyn, a leading Balder. This is tantamount to a comb-over of the truth.

<...>

http://www.borowitzreport.com/2011/04/24/trump-dogged-b...
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undeterred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-24-11 08:10 PM
Response to Original message
1. It looks like it was transplanted from his butt.
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pokerfan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-24-11 08:20 PM
Response to Reply #1
6. the truth
is that it's the little known, rarely seen, double comb-over! Left over right followed by back to front. And fools nobody.

Thanks to the miracle of harsh lighting, the photo appears to reveal one of Trumps most tightly-held secrets. Look closely. See the cross-hatching in Trumps hair?

My baldly-stated thesis: this could be evidence of a rarely-sighted, possibly unprecedented double comb-over. It looks as if a length of hair growing from the part on the left side of Trumps pate has been combed left-to-right over the crown of his head, while a second length of hair, growing from the back of his head, has been combed back-to-front over the first length of hair.
http://www.vanityfair.com/online/daily/2011/03/shocking...
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undeterred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-25-11 07:17 AM
Response to Reply #6
11. I belive the technical term for that is "bilateral wompage".
(As opposed to the much more common unilateral wompage.)
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calimary Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-24-11 08:10 PM
Response to Original message
2. I just love Andy Borowitz!
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pipi_k Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-24-11 08:13 PM
Response to Original message
3. I heard a rumor that his hair is actually from
Tibet...

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RagAss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-24-11 08:16 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. Now that's good !
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pokerfan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-24-11 10:46 PM
Response to Reply #3
9. same stuff they use to make these
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Mendocino Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-24-11 11:12 PM
Response to Reply #9
10. While that could fool a fish,
the Donalds doo fools no one. ;)

And what do we call his mop...a Bucksass Streamer?
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trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-24-11 08:15 PM
Response to Original message
4. Nailed!
:rofl:
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CatWoman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-24-11 08:23 PM
Response to Original message
7. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

"BALDERS"???

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
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Kurovski Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-24-11 08:25 PM
Response to Original message
8. Now that is just fucking funny as all get-out.
:kick: & R
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DainBramaged Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-25-11 09:07 AM
Response to Original message
12. no words necesary
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