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She decided to kill her kids along with herself because her boyfriend was cheating on her

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cali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 03:28 PM
Original message
She decided to kill her kids along with herself because her boyfriend was cheating on her
<snip>

The boy said that as the vehicle sank in the Hudson's murky waters, his mother began to have second thoughts, according to Police Lt. Pat Arnold.

He apparently said the same thing to Meave Ryan, the woman who first found him.

Ryan, who was driving by when she spotted the wet and shivering boy, said he told her that his mom was frantic and very upset because her boyfriend was cheating on her.

Armstrong said the mother climbed into the back seat of the minivan, embraced her four children and repeated several times, "If I am going to die, we're all going to die together."

<snip>

http://www.cnn.com/2011/CRIME/04/14/new.york.mother.riv...
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ejpoeta Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 03:31 PM
Response to Original message
1. i don't understand first of all someone taking others with them when they want to
end their lives. secondly, why a person would kill themselves and their kids because someone was cheating on them. uggh. i just don't get it. as a mom, i am well aware of how much my kids trust and depend on me. the idea of betraying that trust just..... makes me very sad.
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Myrina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 03:34 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. ... because so much of society teaches women that they're only worth ..
Edited on Thu Apr-14-11 03:35 PM by Myrina
... something if they 'have a man'. And if that man decides he doesn't want her, it's her fault for not being (fill in the blank) enough.

Sad, really.
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ejpoeta Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 03:37 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. that is true. i hadn't considered that. it is sad.
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cali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 03:39 PM
Response to Reply #3
6. oh please.
there is some personal responsibility involved. And yes, it's her fucking fault. She's a murderer. My sympathy is for the children. Not the selfish woman who killed them.
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KittyWampus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 05:45 PM
Response to Reply #6
27. Cali, I can't find the part of the story that talks about cheating. Did I miss it?
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Myrina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 09:14 PM
Response to Reply #6
29. I didn't say there WASN''T any responsibility involved.
Oh please yourself :eyes:
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Chris_Texas Donating Member (707 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 03:41 PM
Response to Reply #3
10. no
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EC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 04:01 PM
Response to Reply #3
14. Plus, the believe that there is
"only one TRUE love". When it's perfectly obvious that's not true, look how many people have multiple marriages...and I'm sure every one of them was to "the one".
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Skidmore Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 05:07 PM
Response to Reply #3
25. Men do this sort of thing too.
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Myrina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 09:15 PM
Response to Reply #25
30. Yes, they do,
Fucked up society we live in, no?
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Lance_Boyle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 03:32 PM
Response to Original message
2. So... looks more like 'evil' than 'pitiable for her obvious mental disorder' to me.
I hope her grave is pissed on frequently.

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mountainlion55 Donating Member (302 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 03:41 PM
Response to Reply #2
9. wow!
Piss makes good fertilizer. It won't make a bit of difference but the plants will like it.
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arcane1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 03:38 PM
Response to Original message
5. Reason #4,596 to be grateful that my parents weren't complete idiots n/t
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HipChick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 03:39 PM
Response to Original message
7. Actually...they interviewed her family, and seems as though she was mentally ill..
Edited on Thu Apr-14-11 03:41 PM by HipChick
signs were there that went untreated..Mental illness often goes untreated in some communities due to stigma attached

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540...86411#42586411

In this case, apparently she tried to reverse the car at the last min...but it was too late..
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Lone_Star_Dem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 04:01 PM
Response to Reply #7
13. That really does sound as if she were suffering from mental illness
She was definitely paranoid. Which is a symptom of many mental illnesses.
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uppityperson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 04:56 PM
Response to Reply #7
21. Sounds like she was mentally ill, had something going on the last couple weeks.
"domestic problems" and mental illness. Damn.
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roxiejules Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 03:40 PM
Response to Original message
8. So sad
I have a relative who is a school teacher - she has had a large increase in the number of students who are being abused by parents in the past month. There has also been an increase in suicides in the community.
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HipChick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 03:45 PM
Response to Original message
11. 24yrs and 4 kids..
Oldest kid was 10yrs? She was pregnant at 14? youngest kid was 11 months? Who know whether she had Postpartum depression..
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ecstatic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 03:51 PM
Response to Reply #11
12. good point about postpartum depression
It's my understand that it can strike at any time, up to a year after birth.
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uppityperson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 04:47 PM
Response to Reply #11
17. An all around tragic situation. Pregnant @14, 4 kids by 24, who knows what mental illness. Poor kids
poor family. Here's a thought, if people NOTICE a situation like this, say a neighbor, or someone at the store, help them out if you can. Not saying that would have helped here, but what a tragic situation.
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Odin2005 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 04:24 PM
Response to Original message
15. Some people really are THAT shallow.
Edited on Thu Apr-14-11 04:25 PM by Odin2005
The kind of people that only define themselves in terms of their relationships.
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louis-t Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 04:33 PM
Response to Original message
16. Barney Frank describes suicide as "a permanent solution...
to a temporary problem."
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JuniperLea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 04:51 PM
Response to Reply #16
19. Ozzy Osbourne said the same thing...
When one of his songs was blamed for a teen suicide.
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Lorien Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 05:03 PM
Response to Reply #16
23. Yeah, tell that to all the terminally ill patients who do it, or severely depressed
people who fight with mental illness for decades with NO help and NO relief. Whatever your illness is in this Country you're on your own, and if you can't "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" or cure yourself with happy thoughts you're permanently fucked. Though the woman in the OP was clearly out of line, one should NEVER judge others who take that route when all others are down roads that are worse than death.
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RagAss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 04:49 PM
Response to Original message
18. The ultimate act of an ego. Pititful.
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PassingFair Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 04:53 PM
Response to Original message
20. She was killing herself and thought that the children would be better off dead...
than left behind with no one to take care of them.

It's not unheard of.

It happens.

It's mental illness.
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Shandris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 05:04 PM
Response to Reply #20
24. Yep. It's the same with men, although they kill their wife too.
It's a category of behaviour called 'Family Annihilators'. They feel pressured (and their moral beliefs, in many cases) to be the provider for their children and since they will no longer be able to provide, then they take the children with them out of a (mentally ill and misplaced) sense of mercy.

It doesn't have anything to do with being 'shallow'.
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Spike89 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 05:02 PM
Response to Original message
22. She was a kid with kids
Yeah, I know, she was 24 when she did this, but she's been a mom multiple times over during the last 10 years--not the best recipe for growing up/maturing. A 14-year old mother probably wasn't in the best place as a 13-year old either, so odds are this woman had a life many of us simply couldn't imagine.

There can be no excuses for horrid events like this, but it is actually easy to understand a couple reasons why a mother might think taking the kids with her is the only answer 1) she imagines they would suffer more from her death/abandonment than from death 2) she viewed them as extensions of herself rather than individuals in their own right.
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KittyWampus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 05:43 PM
Response to Original message
26. The story linked to doesn't mention a boyfriend. Did I miss it?
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HipChick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-14-11 08:27 PM
Response to Reply #26
28. Apparently there was some abuse from the boyfriend..she'd requested the locks changed twice..
Edited on Thu Apr-14-11 09:02 PM by HipChick
Not sure what drove her to such a desperate act..some sounds as though there was a combination of mental illness,abuse etc..sounds like she was crying out for help for weeks

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2011/04/13/201...
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