Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

FBI Director Sheepishly Admits Agency Hasn't Solved Single Crime In 10 Years

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » General Discussion Donate to DU
 
joeybee12 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 09:27 AM
Original message
FBI Director Sheepishly Admits Agency Hasn't Solved Single Crime In 10 Years
WASHINGTONIn response to a probe into the bureau's operational costs, FBI director Robert Mueller timidly told Congress Wednesday that the organization he oversees has not technically solved any crimes since 2001.

After confirming that the FBI does indeed have more than 13,000 special agents deployed to investigate cases all across the country, Mueller stressed that the bureau's internal process was "complicated," and that the fact that not one case file has been closed in the past decade is not unexpected.

According to records, the last case the FBI officially solved was a Topeka, KS mail fraud offense in February 2001.

"It's hard to explain to a layman precisely how our operations work, but it's really more about analyzing crimes than it is about actually, you know, arresting perpetrators and convicting them," a fidgeting Mueller said. "It's a process, is what I'm trying to say. It isn't always so simple as 'solved' and 'unsolved.' That's been especially true this decade, I think."

http://www.theonion.com/articles/fbi-director-sheepishl...
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
cliffordu Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 09:29 AM
Response to Original message
1. File this under "How to lose your funding in one afternoon"
:rofl:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
RUMMYisFROSTED Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 09:30 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. Or "Onion."
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
cliffordu Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 09:36 AM
Response to Reply #2
6. OOPSY!!!!!
:rofl:

Generally I at least READ THE FUCKING LINK before commenting......

but I wouldn't doubt that if he DID testify, it might be close to the truth......
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
joeybee12 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 09:47 AM
Response to Reply #6
14. Actually, for this article, the Onion just posted an AP story...
VERY close to the truth on thsi one.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
elias49 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 09:32 AM
Response to Original message
3. This would be laughable if it wasn't so pathetic.
Maybe if the FBI spent less time 'infiltrating' the ranks of those who have differences with the way out government operates, they could solve a crime. Like all the white-collar shit that's tearing this country down. I'm pretty sure white collar crime is generally within the purview of FBI.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
msanthrope Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 09:36 AM
Response to Reply #3
5. Did you hear the sound of the 'whoosh' over your head??? n/t
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
elias49 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 09:51 AM
Response to Reply #5
18. ??? What are you talking about?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
elias49 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 10:04 AM
Response to Reply #5
19. OMG that was a big 'whoosh'
:blush: :blush: :blush:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
msanthrope Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 11:34 AM
Response to Reply #19
24. We've all been there....no shame.....n/t
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
jberryhill Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 09:39 AM
Response to Reply #3
8. Most white collar crime is within the purview of SEC, FTC and Treasury

The FBI generates investigational work product that is used by a lot of other law enforcement agencies. I don't know if Muller made that clear in the rest of his remarks.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
elias49 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 09:51 AM
Response to Reply #8
17. I don't know...this from Wikipedia...
The top FBI priorities:


Protect the United States from terrorist attack (see counter-terrorism);
Protect the United States against foreign intelligence operations and espionage (see counter-intelligence);
Protect the United States against cyber-based attacks and high-technology crimes (see cyber-warfare);
Combat public corruption at all levels;
Protect civil rights;
Combat transnational/national criminal organizations and enterprises (see organized crime);
Combat major white-collar crime;
Combat significant violent crime;
Support federal, state, local and international partners;
Upgrade technology for successful performance of the FBI's mission.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Scuba Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 09:42 AM
Response to Reply #3
10. Bingo. But Eric has them busting state-approved medical marijuana growers. n/t
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
IScreamSundays Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 09:35 AM
Response to Original message
4. ah....
It's the onion people.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Pacifist Patriot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 09:37 AM
Response to Original message
7. LOL! I've got them on Twitter.
I can't get through the day without a couple of their stories coming to my phone.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
xchrom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 09:39 AM
Response to Original message
9. that's hysterical! nt
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Wounded Bear Donating Member (665 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 09:46 AM
Original message
But ratings are up on FBI based TV crime dramas....
:rofl:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
LiberalAndProud Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 09:46 AM
Response to Original message
11. He doesn't classify Dennis Rader as solved crimes?
Rader was arrested in 2005.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
sufrommich Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 09:47 AM
Response to Reply #11
12. It's satire from The Onion. nt
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Wounded Bear Donating Member (665 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 09:47 AM
Response to Reply #11
13. You've been had.....Onion alert......nt
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
LiberalAndProud Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 09:48 AM
Response to Reply #13
16. ah geez. I need another cup of coffee.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
elias49 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 10:20 AM
Response to Reply #16
20. Hmmm. Me too.
:toast:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
ensho Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 09:48 AM
Response to Original message
15. Robert isn't 'timid' he was pretending


there is more to this then meets the eye
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Democracyinkind Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 10:28 AM
Response to Reply #15
23. Indeed. Deeper layers in that Onion. nt
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Beam Me Up Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 10:27 AM
Response to Original message
21. Federal Bureau of Obfuscation
Their real job is to obscure and clean up the messes left in the wake of other federal alphabet agencies domestic crimes. ANTHRAX anyone?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Grey Donating Member (933 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 10:27 AM
Response to Original message
22. It's really sad, how easy this is to believe.
When you have to check the web link......
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
upi402 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-07-11 11:37 AM
Response to Original message
25. Ya cuz they don't get to squeeze the junk of innocent Americans!
Sheez! Jerking off to our phone calls and emails only gets ya so far. Super serious.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Mon Jul 14th 2014, 05:43 AM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » General Discussion Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC