A Republican entering heaven

[Rocknrule]

Got this from an email, passing it on here:

God: "Why should I let you into heaven, my son?"
Republican: "I voted Republican my whole life. I hated the same people You hate. I accepted Your only other son, George W. Bush, as my lord and savior."
G: "From what I can see, you spent your entire life stealing from the poor to give to the rich."
R: "But those are just blacks and illegal immigrants, Lord! They're just welfare-sucking burdens on society! They're not really people!"
G: "Whatever you do to the least of those among you, you do to me."
R: "But I was against abortion and homosexuality!"
G: "You think blowing up abortion clinics and tying gay people to a fence and beating them to death is going to score points with me?"
R: "But I thought all you cared about was abortion and homosexuality, Lord!"
G: "Did you give money to the poor like I commanded?"
R: "No, but I spent money on killing Your enemies in Iraq, Lord! I thought giving to the poor was socialism!"
G: "What part of "thou shalt not kill" don't you understand?"
R: "But I defended the lives of unborn fetuses tooth and nail!"
G: "When I was hungry, you did not feed me..."
R: "But I was against abortion and homosexuality!"
G: "When I was naked, you did not clothe me..."
R: "You're not listening Lord, I was against ABORTION AND HOMOSEXUALITY!!!"
G: "When I was in prison, you did not visit me..."
R: "SHUT UP, GOD!!! I was against abortion and homosexuality and that should be good enough for you! I'm a Republican, we rule the universe, not you!"
G: "I never knew you. Depart from me, ye worker of iniquity!"
R: "YOU'RE A SOCIALIST COMMUNIST MARXIST MUSLIM, GOD!"

[Lugnut]

1. K&R

:kick:

[old mark]

2. K&R-Republican dies-big party tonight in hell.....welcome home!...nt

[Tigress DEM]

18. It's funny, but it's also really sad cause it's too close to 100% true. nt

[burrowowl]

3. K&R

:rofl:

[BrightKnight]

4. strewth - n/t

[Name removed]

5. Deleted message

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[diane in sf]

6. shouldn't that be attempting to enter heaven?

[ProfessionalLeftist]

7. Doesn't sound like he entered....

...got bounced.

[polmaven]

24. Probably stormed away

before he was bounced.

[krispos42]

32. He found out it was full of progressives

To him, it was Purgatory, if not Hell itself

[Motown_Johnny]

8. .

God quoting Jesus while doing St. Peter's job?


The idea has merit but the execution seems flawed to me. (Not that it isn't kinda funny.)

[Hydra]

16. God was watching the desk while Pete was taking a break

:evilgrin:

[HughBeaumont]

9. Something tells me there won't be a Chick Tract based on this script.

:rofl:

[BlancheSplanchnik]

29. ...

:spray:

[wellstone dem]

10. rec

[AtheistCrusader]

11. Alternate version:

*nothing*





*crickets*

[peace frog]

12. You forgot "SATINIST"

misspelling intentional, in keeping with teabagger tradition.

[WinkyDink]

27. And the Muslins.

[rhett o rick]

13. r&k

[orbitalman]

14. K and R

[penndragon69]

15. Ahmen (ra) !

[vanboggie]

17. Awesome

I love anything that spotlights hypocrisy. I just reposted to facebook and immediately have a "Like". Can't wait for the rethugs on my friends list to take a peek.

[louslobbs]

19. Love this.

Lou

[liberal N proud]

20. The good ones are rolling today

[Roland99]

21. AH HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

[disillusioned73]

22. R: "YOU'RE A SOCIALIST COMMUNIST MARXIST MUSLIM, GOD!"

lmao.. that pretty much says it all.. :rofl:

[treestar]

23. K&R

:rofl:

[firehorse]

25. republicans aren't FOR anything, just AGAINST, unless its violence

do they even read the bible, read the constitution?

[Doc Martin]

26. Brings to a mind 'easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle'

[Corruption Winz]

28. Someone like Rush Limbaugh...

Reads this and has only two words..

Jewish Propaganda.

[demigoddess]

30. jesus was

a long-haired radical socialist Jew. Rush can not understand that at all.

[existentialist]

31. What about "atheist?"

I mean why wouldn't a Republican call God an atheist? They call Obama all those things including atheist not with standing the contradictions.

[Shallah Kali]

33. John Prine - Your Flag Decal Won't Get You Into Heaven Anymore

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-O4DmUCzO4

[mikekohr]

34. The Road To Hell Is Paved With Republicans nt

[Shining Jack]

35. K&R

Funny. :)

[ck4829]

36. K&R