The History Channel has a program on now about how to survive Armaggedon

[Skidmore]

called "Apocalypse Man." Guy starts out by saying after a catastrophic event there may be no Homeland Security to turn to. I'm speechless.

[leftstreet]

1. I hadn't thought of that upside

:-)

[alsame]

2. I should watch this because I have

dibs on my fundy relatives' stuff after they are raptured. :evilgrin:

[formercia]

10. There will be enough 'stuff' to last several generations

after the 'fundies' get beamed-up. What a Yard Sale that will be. :rofl:

[alsame]

11. I hope

e-bay will still be working. :rofl:

[white_wolf]

22. Nope. I'll bet 10 dollars

Meg "buy it now' Whitman is a fundie.

[Gregorian]

14. Can I have the doilies?

You can't survive an apocalypse properly without doilies.

[alsame]

15. They also have tons of 'prayer cloth' from Pat Robertson and

Benny Hinn. You can have those too, lol.

[Sal Minella]

17. Is "prayer cloth" the same as "wedding handkerchief?" n/t

[alsame]

20. They claim the prayer cloths transmit the

power of Jesus and can heal. So when they are sick, they put it on their body. They've even put it on appliances that were broken. :eyes:

I've seen them and they look like plain white handkerchiefs to me. Probably bought in bulk at WalMart and sold to fundies at quite a profit.

[Sal Minella]

27. Hadn't heard about this one. So how do these cloths become

imbued with "the power of Jesus?"

Have they been touched by Pat Robertson Himself or something?

[alsame]

28. Yes, that's what I've been told. The televangelists are the

conduits that transfer the power of Jesus to the cloth.

[Sal Minella]

31. I need to get one of those so I can keep it wrapped around my

deck of poker cards when they're not in use.

[LaurenG]

3. lol

no homeland securty at Armaggeddon? What will those left do without homeland security? ;)

[Travelman]

4. LOL!

I can just hear it now: "When the earth explodes into a billion pieces and the sun goes supernova, be sure to have plenty of canned food and a generator with plenty of fuel on hand...."

[Posteritatis]

5. Armageddon pretty tired of the state of History Channel these days

Anyone remember when they had history on it? I sort of do, but I worry that I might be hallucinating the memory.

[arbusto_baboso]

7. Yeah, no shit. It's like all they do is pander to fundies and conspiracy nuts now.

I hate what History Channel has become.

[LibertyLover]

9. Yeah, it may have been the All Hitler All The Time channel, but

at least it was history. Now it's just garbage. Much like the Discovery Channel with it's stupid Deadliest Catch and Goldrush shows, not to mention the Orange County Chopper debacle.

[Kucinich Feingold]

21. Discovery still has Mythbusters and Dirty Jobs

History has... um what watchable on History?:shrug:

[myrna minx]

16. Oh how the Hitler Channel has fallen.

It's aliens conspiring with the Yeti, the Nazis, the anti Christ and liberals to bring on the end of days as foretold by Nostradamus. . :rofl:

[arbusto_baboso]

19. You forgot the the Satan-worshiping Knights Templar and the Freemasons.

[Solomon]

6. There's no survival unless you've been invited to the secret

underground cities prepared for the coming catastrophe. That is why so many can lie to your face. They're hoping to get the invitation to be saved with the billionaires who own the underground cities.

[southernyankeebelle]

8. Don't get yourself overwehelmed buddy. When its time just bend over and kiss yourself goodbye. All

we can do is live right because no matter what happens we are screwed by another country or our own.

[damntexdem]

12. But, but, with no Hoaxland Security, who would touch my junk at the airport?

;-)

[Gregorian]

13. And no Starbucks?!

Or MacDonald's. Whatever will one do?

The apocalypse will be a piece of cake compared to what we've been through with the Replicants.

[Generic Other]

18. Can we have a party when it happens?

I was sure there was gonna be a party.



Rapture Party Death Trip

http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments=1&v=w2yvYR4RFVs

[hobbit709]

23. "no Homeland Security to turn to"- so what's the problem.

[ThoughtCriminal]

24. Knock Knock! Who's there? Armaggedon!

Armaggedon who?

Arm-a-gedon tired of waiting for the Apocalypse!

[muriel_volestrangler]

30. Or ...

Arm-a-gedon outa here!

Which is also the answer to the question in the OP. :)

[Drahthaardogs]

25. Why would you want to live anyway?

If it ever happens I hope one of the bombs about conks me on the head. I saw the Road Warrior before, and I am not nearly as tough as Mel Gibson and he barely made it.

[zen_bohemian]

26. I have seen that show before

It was informative, actually. I had no idea one could make fire using steel wool and battery, and how to make biofuel from grease from a grease vat.

[Curmudgeoness]

29. I don't profess to know what I am talking about

when it comes to religion and the bible, but isn't Armaggedon the war that comes AFTER all the true Christians just disappear from the face of the earth? Sooooo, if I believe this sort of thing, wouldn't I have any need for this surviving Armaggedon information. I would already be gone.

Am I right?