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Borowitz: Canada Bracing for Massive Influx of Wisconsin Boat People

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Contrary1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-05-12 11:49 AM
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Borowitz: Canada Bracing for Massive Influx of Wisconsin Boat People


Coast Guard on Alert

OTTAWA (The Borowitz Report) The Canadian coast guard was on alert today, preparing for what it fears could be a massive invasion of boat people from Wisconsin.

Conor McGlindon, commander of the Royal Canadian Mounted Coast Guard (RCMCG), said that satellite photos had revealed a substantial flotilla in the making, as Wisconsinites prepared to flee their state for their neighbor to the North.

Word has gotten around that we have policemen, firemen, and basic school lunches up here, Mr. McGlindon said. You cant blame these boat people for seeking a better life. But we are under orders to intercept them.

In Canada, officials fear that refugees from Wisconsin will brave the treacherous journey across Lake Superior in the hopes of giving birth to so-called anchor babies on Canadian soil.

Mr. McGlindon offered reporters a look at satellite photos showing the boat people larding their vessels with wheels of premium cheddar cheese, possibly in the hopes of bribing Canadian officials on Superiors northern shore.

More: http://www.borowitzreport.com /
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dtexdem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-05-12 02:33 PM
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1. LOL! Walker not worried about how history will see him, because there will be no history teachers.
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Leopolds Ghost Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-06-12 10:20 PM
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2. Outch. n/t
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