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Facts, 360 B.C.-A.D. 2012/ In memoriam: After years of health problems, Facts has finally died

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KoKo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-21-12 09:37 AM
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Facts, 360 B.C.-A.D. 2012/ In memoriam: After years of health problems, Facts has finally died
Facts, 360 B.C.-A.D. 2012
In memoriam: After years of health problems, Facts has finally died.


By Rex W. Huppke, Chicago Tribune reporter

April 19, 2012
A quick review of the long and illustrious career of Facts reveals some of the world's most cherished absolutes: Gravity makes things fall down; 2 + 2 = 4; the sky is blue.

But for many, Facts' most memorable moments came in simple day-to-day realities, from a child's certainty of its mother's love to the comforting knowledge that a favorite television show would start promptly at 8 p.m.

Over the centuries, Facts became such a prevalent part of most people's lives that Irish philosopher Edmund Burke once said: "Facts are to the mind what food is to the body."

To the shock of most sentient beings, Facts died Wednesday, April 18, after a long battle for relevancy with the 24-hour news cycle, blogs and the Internet. Though few expected Facts to pull out of its years-long downward spiral, the official cause of death was from injuries suffered last week when Florida Republican Rep. Allen West steadfastly declared that as many as 81 of his fellow members of theU.S. House of Representatives are communists.

Facts held on for several days after that assault brought on without a scrap of evidence or reason before expiring peacefully at its home in a high school physics book. Facts was 2,372.

More...kind of a fun read at

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/ct-talk-huppke...

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rpannier Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-21-12 05:55 PM
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1. I like the ending
Facts is survived by two brothers, Rumor and Innuendo, and a sister, Emphatic Assertion.

Services are alleged to be private. In lieu of flowers, the family requests that mourners make a donation to their favorite super PAC.
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No Elephants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-22-12 07:17 AM
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2. Funny, but historically inaccurate. Lies, including Big Lies, have abounded throughout human history
Being disgusted with a certain group, I might also add "especially among politicians."

However, I freely admit that would be my bias speaking. I am sure lies, aka absence of Fact, abounded among our earliest religious leaders, salespeople, parents and other groups.
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