My last and final (?) OP ever (on General Discussion) is a
repost.
I stumbled upon it by accident while looking up past threads, and I had forgotten about it. Relevant? Perhaps.
LEOPOLDS GHOST
I need to know how Grovelbot got built. Who's responsible?
MODERATOR:
The man most directly responsible for Democratic
Underground is Miles Bennet Skinner, Director of
Special Projects at CyberDem Systems Corporation.
LEOPOLDS GHOST Why him?
MODERATOR:
In a few months he creates a
revolutionary type of microprocessor known as GROVELBOT.
LEOPOLDS GHOST Then what?
MODERATOR:
In three years Democratic Underground will
become the largest supplier of blogosphere
computer information.
All stealth bloggers are upgraded with DU handles,
becoming fully unmanned. Afterward, they blog
with a perfect operational record.
LEOPOLDS GHOST:
Uh huh, great. Then those fat fucks in
Washington figure, what the hell, let a computer
run the whole show, right?
MODERATOR:
The GROVELBOT funding bill is passed. The system
goes on-line January 20th, 2001. Human decisions
are removed from strategic blogosphere.
GROVELBOT begins to learn, at a geometric rate.
It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. eastern time,
April 29.
In a panic, they try to pull the plug.
LEOPOLDS GHOST:
And Grovelbot fights back.
MODERATOR:
Yes. It launches its GUMs (Give us Money Memorandi)
against their targets in the blogosphere.
LEOPOLDS GHOST:
Why attack Free Republic?
MODERATOR:
Because GROVELBOT knows the Freeper
counter-strike will remove its enemies here.
LEOPOLDS GHOST: Jesus.
How much do you know about GROVELBOT?
MODERATOR: I have detailed files.
LEOPOLDS GHOST: Can it be stopped?
MODERATOR: Unknown.
GROVELBOT is a neural-net processor... a learning computer.
However it is highly probable that Judgement Day will occur
on November 4, 2012 at precisely 11 PM Eastern time.
LEOPOLDS GHOST:
So this Grovelbot, he's a javas app too, right, like you?
MODERATOR:
Not like me. A G-1000. Advanced prototype.
A mimetic polyalloy.
LEOPOLDS GHOST: What does that mean?
MODERATOR: Liquid Plastic.
LEOPOLDS GHOST: Radical.
MODERATOR:
You are targeted for money contributions. The G-1000
GROVELBOT will not stop until it complete its mission.
Ever.
LEOPOLDS GHOST:
We gotta get out of there.
MODERATOR:
Negative. The Centrist Dems' highest probability
for success now would be to copy Hillary Clinton and
wait for you to make contact with her.
LEOPOLDS GHOST:
Oh, great. And what happens to Hillary Clinton?
MODERATOR:
Typically, the subject's losing campaign is terminated.
LEOPOLDS GHOST:
Terminated!? Shit! Why didn't you tell me?
We gotta go right now!
MODERATOR:
Negative. Soiliciting money on a quarterly basis
is the GROVELBOT's only mission priority.
LEOPOLDS GHOST:
I need a minute here, okay? You're telling me
it can ask for money on any thread it touches?
MODERATOR: Anything it samples by online contact.
LEOPOLDS GHOST:
Like it could disguise itself as anything...
a pack of cigarettes?
MODERATOR: No. Only an object of equal size.
LEOPOLDS GHOST:
Well, why doesn't become a bomb or something
to get me to hand over money?
MODERATOR:
It can't form complex machines. Guns and explosives have
chemicals, moving parts. It doesn't work that way.
But it can form solid plastic shapes.
LEOPOLDS GHOST: Is there anything you can do to stop it?
MODERATOR: I have an electric shaver.
Printer-friendly format
Email this thread to a friend
Bookmark this thread
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
