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Expected Script from a Donald Trump Debate for the "Benefit" of the Republican Candidates

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no_hypocrisy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-03-11 09:26 AM
Original message
Expected Script from a Donald Trump Debate for the "Benefit" of the Republican Candidates
Edited on Sat Dec-03-11 09:28 AM by no_hypocrisy
Newt, I've had my share of public philandering in my past. I had a well publicized extramarital affair with my second wife while married to my first wife, producing a child out of wedlock. Think that slowed me down? Not for a nanosecond. Fact of it all is that I made more money on my indiscretions than if I had stayed faithful to Ivana all these years. And people love me even more than ever. Go figure. So my question to you is this: If you don't get the nomination for president at the Republican Convention, will you support my bid as a protest candidate?

Mitt, you're quite the businessman. And so am I. But face it, only one of us really knows how to make money and it isn't you. I got banks who were calling in my loans while simultaneously giving me new loans while I was declaring bankruptcy. Think you could do that? Didn't think so. All I have to do to get a deal is to promise to put my name on a building like graffiti and I've got megamillions. Tell me, where is any Romney Building in this country? In the world? I think I made my point. So my question to you is this: If you don't get the nomination for president at the Republican Convention, will you support my bid as a protest candidate?

Ron, or should I just call you Doc? (Waits for the laughter of the audience to die down . . . ) Ron, you and I both know that the so-called long-form birth certificate is a fraud. As phoney as that guy in the White House. I can't tell you how worked up I get when I think of him, just walking through those hallowed halls, sitting in the East Room, getting the royal treatment in foreign countries, just because of a counterfeit document. I mean, I just lose sleep. Something has to be done to hold him accountable for pulling off such an incredible fraud on all of the American people -- on the world, actually. So my question to you is this: If you don't get the nomination for president at the Republican Convention, will you support my bid as a protest candidate?

You, Jon Huntsman. You're a loser. Lemme spell that for you. L-O-S-E-R. You lack the testicular fortitude to come to this debate and face real questions from a real man. You've just shown the American voters that you lack what is really essential to hold the most important, the most powerful position in the entire world. Thank you for doing us a favor and making the choice a little easier.

To the audience: Thank you everyone. Thank you for watching. I really, really hope you watch for the premiere of the new season of "The Apprentice", the most amazing, the most popular reality show ever broadcast. It's so successful that NBC just won't let me end it when I have really important things I could be doing. You can help me. Watch for it in February, hold your judgment on Teresa Giudice as she may well surprise you, and tell NBC to let me speak my mind whenever I need to. And remember, voting to beat Obama may be the most patriotic act you'll ever perform.
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gateley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-03-11 09:48 AM
Response to Original message
1. Is that you, Donald?
I think you nailed it. :rofl:

I notice Cain isn't among the group. Does Donald know something we don't?
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Gabi Hayes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-03-11 10:06 AM
Response to Original message
2. ''Donald Trump with the distinctive ham loaf of hair and...
voice that sounds like a sloth having a difficult bowel movement, is hosting a debate of major-party candidates for the highest office in the land.''

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/compost/post/donald...
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UTUSN Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-03-11 11:03 AM
Response to Original message
3. HUNTMANS' name for the (non-)event: the presidential Apprentice n/t
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