SATIRE from
http://thedesperateblogger.com/Speaking at a press conference on the grounds of his La Jolla, California vacation compound, former 2012 GOP presidential front-runner Mitt Romney today ‘broke ground’ on his proposed jobs creation plan, which he claims, “will create a jobs Mecca in the United States that people around the world will look to and pray they had five times a day.”
The Secondary Home/Ancillary Residence Investment Act – dubbed ‘SHARIA’ by the former Massachusetts governor – would provide a two-for-one tax credit for taxpayers who improve and/or expand their vacation homes or any other non-primary residence.
“By making it profitable for those who create jobs in our private sector to also create jobs on their private property as well, I predict SHARIA will result in a hiring tsunami that will wash away the current unemployed – and after all, shouldn’t that be our number one priority?” asked the solid number two, who was dressed casually in a smoking jacket and baby seal slippers. “In fact, if you look behind me right now, my own planned expansion will create at least 27 high-paying jobs where they’re needed – right here in La Jolla. And that’s not even counting the illegals.”
The candidate also added that as President, he would personally see that his plan was implemented to create jobs in Washington DC by expanding and renovating the White House. “That would have to be priority number one, not just for the image of the country but also out of consideration for my family – not to mention the office of the Presidency. Right now the place is totally inadequate – I mean, do they really expect the President and first family of a civilized country to be comfortable in a little dump like that?”
Appearing puzzled and somewhat offended that reporters’ questions then focused on widespread criticism that he is ‘out of touch’ with mainstream America, ‘The Mittster’ (as he is known to his country club friends) fired back:
“You know, I’ve heard people say that, and I honestly don’t know how the whole thing started. But my staff is on it, and we’re planning to roll out some new video spots and we’ve also lined up some really ‘happening’ entertainment for our fundraisers that should prove to people once and for all that I’m totally down with a wide range of demographics. We’ll be making an official announcement once the lineup and schedule are complete, but to give you an idea, Par Boone is already on board, and for the youngsters we’ve managed to sign none other than the Bay City Rollers. We’re confident that once you see what we have in store, all that ‘out of touch’ nonsense will die faster than the Pawlenty campaign did.
… So I hope now somebody wants to ask me about SHARIA and why I think it will move our economy and our country forward…”
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